It was dark outside when Leeteuk decided to step out of the house after a dinner with his family. He has just came back home for the holidays and it has been a while since he has seen the neighborhood, the place where he grew up ,and where he had his childhood memories. America is far from South Korea, and very differnt is some ways. But somehow today ,his hometown seems to be the stranger in him.

It was quite a surprise for him,finally having the time off for a holiday.It has been years since he spent Thanksgiving with his family.Usually at this time,they will be hoping from one appearances to another,barely having anytime to rest and sleep. But now,all of a sudden,he got a call from the President himself,asking him if he wants to spent holidays with his family. And he readily said yes.

Most of the time,he would just pass by,and said hello to his parents to his sister and then he would be on the next plane to Korea after. He doesn't have any reasons to stay longer than he needs to.But now he doesn't know why suddenly they are letting him go,when he knew that the group  schedule is packed until the end of this year.He thinks that his boys will be needing him for his support and encouragement. Even his shows has been fully covered for now. Is there something that he doesn't knows that the others knew ?

He walked around the neighborhood,walking in a slow but steady strides.The weather has cooled down and he can feel the freezy air on his ears and neck. He pulled his hoodie closer to his body and zipped it .And soon enough he was blowing smoke due to the coldness.He looked up and noticed that he is at the corner of the block already.He turned around finding his steps back to their home.

It has been 8 years in Korea,as he thought about it. Three years in training before they debut in stage and now five years after,they are known far and wide in Asia and yes being known in US also.But then nobody can recognixzed him now.He is a far cry from Leeteuk on the stage than Leeteuk an ordinary private citizen.Nobody knows his story. All they knew is his life in the limelight and his family.He never told them that he didn't grew up in Korea. And that he is an American as much as Korean.

Was it only yesterday when SM found him,when he is emceeing one of their school program in college. He was on his Senior year when they found him.He was wary at first accepting their offer but he knew it in his heart that he wants to be in the limelight,he wants to entertain people. The only drawback is her...Meredith. Meredith is his girlfriend and the first time, he laid his eyes on her,he is sure at himself that she is the one for him. And yes, he can forget the limelight so that he can be with her for the rest of their life.

And America seems to be so far away from Korea. And Meredith,she is an American as her name sounds. There is nothing Korean nor Asian in her. That is why his Mother has a hard time welcoming her at first,for she wants a Korean girl to marry her only son. But Meredith has win them over,with her friendliness and caring attitude. Now his Mom loves her like a daughter,sometimes ,she sided with her more than him whenever they have a fight.

But Meredith is loving and understanding,and yes she won't stand in his way ,in doing the things that he really wants. She loves him with no restrictions....and as he told her about the big offer to him,as they are seating in the park one day,watching a football game. He told her  opportunity of a lifetime for him.

"You know a man approach me last week,They said that they are from Korea,a big company there. And they are offering me to train me,and be a part of a band back Korea." Leeteuk said.His eyes on her face,looking at every signs in her face.

Meredith looked at her and smiled more like a funny grin on her face. " A band ,a boy band? I thought boy bands are dead ." she said.

"No not in Korea,in fact they are getting so popular not only in Korea but also in Asia.They are scouting for talent to form the biggest boy band in Asia," he said. "What do you think ?"

Meredith eyebrows arched but with a half smile and laugh in her face. "Are you serious ? Do you want to do it ?" she asked. now her face becoming serious as she stared at him.

Leeteuk stood up and nodded his head. "I want to try it. but...." he said staring down at her. It will be hard to leave her behind. What is he thinking,he cannot leave her behind. he loves her that much,as a frown creases his eyebrows,as they both stared at each other.

"You are worried about me. Is it me that stopping you to do this ?" she asked,the smile and the grin are all gone now. She swallowed hard her saliva. Will she say something that she will regret later on? Can she let him go to follow his dreams.She knows him by now,he loves the limelight an he loves the drama and the stage,and the theatre . He is not telling her the news just to let tell her,he told her because e wants it,and he is confused and he cannot decide because of her. When everything runs in equations,she is still has the most weight of all. She knew that he loves her that much.He will not go if she tell him not to ,and he will if she let him go.Somehow the decisions is not entirely up to him but to her. And it is not even fair..damn if you do and damn if you don't.

Leeteuk was silent and he can see the indecision in her face.She doesn't want to let him go. She loves him that much. He forced a smile on his face." Don't worry about it. I don't want to go anyway. " he said. "I rather be here with you by your side." as he sat back on the bench with her. Meredith put her hands on his hands,warming it up.

"No, go, you do want this,I know it and you know it,that this is the one that you have been wanting to do all your life. Do it. " she said. "And don't worry about me ,I will be just here waiting for you. I love you Leeteuk and that will never change even in a million years." as she kissed him full in the lips....

Leeteuk took a deep breath remembering the promises that she made too well. Where did the promises that she made went ? She said that she will love only him for a million years,not even after the three years ,afteer their debut and as they started to make a name for themselves,then he got a letter from her ,ending everything between them. Somehow the pain that he felt then ,he felt it now..

He doesn't have a clue,she even came over to visit him in Korea before their big debut on stage. They spent two glorious weeks together,as he introduced her to the whole group and yes everybody loves her.He showed her around Korea,told her everything about his old country and told her all of his dreams and her being a part of it. He just love her and he knew that  he could never love another girl like her,as they made love that night and the night after. He will always remember those nights ,having her in his side ,having her in his arms,and waking up in the morning with a her bright smiling eyes. But then just like that, she has forgotten all those nights and he ,remembered every little detail of their time together. There was no woman for him after her. To him Meredith is the only woman he will ever love...tears ran through his face as he wiped them away before entering the house.

The door was unlocked as he open the door. He thought that his parents are all sleeping in their room. But he was surprised to see the living room all lights up,as he stepped inside...He heard a little footsteps on the floor,as a little boy aged five came into view,and after him was the woman that he longed to forget.Meredith stood in the end of the steps,as she stared at him. Her face is pale and you can see the surprise in her eyes seeing him. The surprised changed to a frown as she got hold of the little boy's hand,

"I didn't know....that you are home." she said."Your Mom didn't tell me." standing still in her place,she cannot moved but stay rooted to where she was.

Leeteuk smiled at her. She didn't changed that much.The long dark brown hair which falls below her shoulder. The big brown eyes that seems to stare and tell you so much ,the high bridged nose,and the red pouting lips. There was no lines in her face just smooth and yes bare ,without any make up on. He can feel his own heartbeat beating against the wall of his chest. It is like seeing her for the first time again.And hell the feeling is still there.It will alwa6ys be there,no matter how much he wanted to get rid of her in his system.He still loves her,married or not married,child or without child.

"Your boy ?" he asked as he smiled. Meredith nodded,and she can't open and say the word. She has dreamed of this of seeing him again and has planned the words that she is going to say to him. Can he ever forgive her for hurting him ?

"You looked good.You didn't changed that much.Still beautiful as ever." he said ,as he walked slowly by her side. He wondered if they can still be firends after all the pain and the heartaches. He wants to be a friend to her so that at least,she can be a part of his life and he be a part of her life, even though it will hurt that much.

"You looked handsome, I saw you in youtube and you looked so good. Somehow,I can't still believe that it was you." she said,still clutching the little boys hand in her hands.The boy wiggled,trying to run loose from her.

"It was all camera trick and make up.  So how are you ? I heard that you are married and kid,just one ?" he asked.

"Yes just one.It is quite hard to take care of one by yourself." she said. almost cutting her toungue for saying those words. What if he wants the boy ? What if he just wants him and not her ? Lee is all she got now,if he took his away then her life would mean nothing ..."How about you ?"

"What do you mean ? I..I got none after you. I can't, the fans ." he said in explanation.

Meredith nodded her head. "I am glad that you have reached your dreams.I am sure that the right girl will be just there waiting for you,when the time comes. " as she smiled. "It is getting late,we have to go."

"Do you always come and visit home? How come Mom never mentioned it to me ?" he asked.

"I came and visit once in a while. Your Mom called me up today to come over, I didn't know you'll be here." she said in explanation "Lee got a class in the morning.He is in  Kinder now." she said proudly. Leeteuk stared at the little boy and something snapped in him. He touched the little boys cheeks and run his fingers in his hair,as he hugged the little boy who squirmed on his arms...he felt the connection there...and he cannot be mistaken..

"How old is he ? And who is his father ? " he asked as a frown came to him. There was power and authority in his voice now. tears can be seen in Meredith's eyes and yes fear can be seen in her too.

"Lee is five....and you are his Father." she said as her knees became weaker and weaker.

"The guy that you married,where is he ?" he asked...anger can be felt in his voice now.She closed her eyes...

"I never got married. There was no other guy." she said.Now everything is all out in the open. Six long years of secrets that she kept to herself and it is all in the open now. Would he believed that she did it for him ? Leeteuk hugeed the little boys in his arms.

"Why ? Why you kept this from me ? Why did you do that? He is my child too.Five years you kept him away from me." he said."Do you know that i will give up everything just to be with you and with our child. I'll turned my back in this fame,if it will mean having you and our child in my life again." he said ,tears came as he shed them without shame in front of her. And it broke her heart more in the process.

"I know,that is why,I have to go away. I don't want to be in a way .I don't want  just because of me and the baby ,you will abandon what you had worked hard for. I want you to realize your dream,that is how much I love you." she said.

"But do you know what is my dream ? " he asked. "My dream is to have you in my life. You are all that I want in my life Meredith."

"Even now ? Do you still want me in your life and our son ?" she asked.

Leeteuk came to her and hugged her. "Yes even now.More so today than before. We got our son now. I love you Meredith " he said. "I love you too Leeteuk,I will always love you. " she said,as the three hugged each other and the boy looked at the two people in front of him with a smile..