"Ahhh... It feels like ages since I've been here!" Jieun spread her arms widely and let the wind blow her. Her long black hair and her floral dress were blown gracefully by the winds. It was April and clearly Spring had arrived. She closed her eyes, enjoying the soft winds, hitting her face ever so lightly.

Seconds later, she opened back her eyes, turned to the boy beside her. She admired how dashing and boyish this boy could be. His silvery white hair is shorter than before making him look like a little boy and much younger from his real age.

She notices how his hair ruffled when the wind hit it.

Jieun was in trance... but not for long since Luhan opened his eyes and stared back at her. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I look weird?” Luhan asked looking around himself if there anything wrong with him.

Jieun chuckled before walked towards Luhan and settled herself beside him on the green grass. It was already spring here and the view couldn’t get more beautiful than this. The cherry blossom looked so fascinating and enchanting.

The season of love. That is what people called Spring as.

“Nothing. You looked good. As usual.” Luhan smiled before leaned back and rested his hand behind him. “Nothing has changed in here, actually. Despite the season.”

“True. Nothing really changed. Everything seems normal to me and I like the way it is in here.” She paused. “How about you, Luhan?”

Luhan furrowed his eyebrow, not getting what she meant. “Me? I’ve been fine, as you may see.” Jieun smiled.

She knows he never changed. And she also knows that his heart never changed. Always for that one particular reason. Bae Suzy. “I know. You would never change. You will always be the same Luhan I’ve known.” The one I love. 

“Thanks.” He muttered and both just sat there in silence. They were both in their own world, enjoying the beautiful view and only sounds of birds chirping, the people, wrapping around them.

“Luhan.” Jieun took a bold action by resting her head on his shoulder and linked her arms with his right arm. “Hmm”

“How are you?” Luhan tilted his head, confused by her question.

“Umm... I’m fine...? Didn’t you just ask the same question again?”

Jieun sighed. She knows it wasn’t the answer she wanted. Physically, yes. But what about his heart? She was guilty. She was wrong. She has changed. Now that she’s thinking back the way she act before, she was embarrassed of herself.

“I know that Luhan. What I really want to ask you is that...” Jieun paused.

“How about you and Suzy?”

It’s time for her to tell him the truth. That was the only thing that’s been playing in her minds since then.

Luhan was confused by her words because he would never think that she would mention Suzy when they were together.

Luhan remembered how he would suddenly mention about Suzy sometimes when they talked and he knows how pissed Jieun was at that time. He learnt from his mistake and he would always force himself to forget about Suzy but he just can’t.

“Hmm? What are you talking about?”

Jieun stood straight and turned herself to take a good look at Luhan. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

“What is there to talk about? It’s been one year, Jieun. Between her and me... there was nothing left. You are my girlfriend now. You shouldn’t worry about that.” Luhan assured her.

“No. I’ve known you, Luhan. You are not happy. You are not the same Luhan I know though you never change.” She smiled sincerely. “It’s been one year, Luhan. One year, you have broken up with Suzy. Almost one year, we’re together. And one year, we all lost the bright Luhan. Luhan that was playful, that always smiling and immature Luhan who doesn’t act at his age. Well, I want that Luhan back.” Jieun caressed his cheek. Her eyes were already glistening with tears but she still can hold it back.

“Jieun... I...”

“Don’t.” Jieun shushed him before he could talk. “This is the main reason I’m back here, Luhan. I want to tell you that, I might be not going back here anymore after this. I will continue my studies in New York until I finished. I want to sort things out. For us. For you.”

“What do you mean? Then what about drawing? You just quit drawing?  That isn’t Jieun I know.” Jieun was touched at how Luhan would still always take care towards her. “I know... but these past months had thought me a lot of things. I won’t quit on drawing... don’t worry about that!” Jieun laughed.

“Drawing will always be my dream, but... as cheesy as it sounds, I want to fulfil my parents dream. Maybe this time I will stop being some rebellion kid and just listen to what they told me to.” Luhan looked at her as the winds blows her hair softly.

“I want a break up, Luhan.”

Jieun muttered the last part even though it hurts her. Yes, she loves Luhan, but she knows that Luhan does not belong to her. What’s the point of having someone if we just make him suffer more?

“Jieun, do you really wanted this? I’m so sorry that I-” “No, Luhan.” She took his hands and intertwined it. “It was my choice.”

“No, I was wrong. I never—”

“Luhan. Shhh...” Jieun put her finger on his mouth. “I was the one that wanted this. It’s not your fault. It was mine. I always wanted you for myself and I’m so selfish back then.”

“Jieun, didn’t I told you that when I broke up with Suzy has nothing to do with you. We just depart in our own way. It was our decision.” Luhan was torn in between. Yes, he missed Suzy, but now Suzy has her own life and Luhan have Jieun. He doesn’t want just because of his past and his own feeling, the people around him hurt. That the last thing he would do.

“You were hurt, Luhan. I want you to be happy. You are not happy when you with me. The day I confessed to you, was the day I put a burden on you because I know you didn’t want to see me hurt. But what if you were the one that hurt? I don’t want that. I was too blind to notice how heartbroken you were back then and all I can see was only my happiness. Not other people. I was happy, because I can beat Bae Suzy, finally.”

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t get what is the meaning behind her words. Jieun chuckled seeing the clueless face on Luhan. Of course, he wouldn’t have any clue what is really going on. He was blinded by her own pretence.

“Luhan, truth to be told, I was jealous of Bae Suzy. Simply because she has something that I don’t have and maybe every girl can’t have.” She pointed at his chest. “This.”

Luhan shuts his mouth. True, Bae Suzy has stolen his own heart and she never returns it, until now without her realising it.

“But my jealousy had brought me nowhere because I still can’t beat her. I hate her for some reason and honestly, I still hate her.” Jieun smiled seeing Luhan’s face. Jieun holds his face in between her slender fingers.

“Don’t worry about that, I won’t do any harm to her, not anymore.” The boy sighed. It was tiring to think about this. He would never thought this day would ever come because it never crosses his mind before. Thus, he doesn’t know how to handle it well.

“Luhan, let me ask you one simple question and I want you to answer it honestly.

“What is it?”

“Do you still love Suzy?”

That was one simple question but it carries a lot of meaning.

“I...”

“It is just between yes or no, Luhan.” Jieun muttered.

“What’s the difference?”

“Luhan, yes or no?” Jieun said firmly.

Luhan heaved a sigh. He took a deep breath before said, “Yes. I still love her.”

Jieun could feel her heart shattered but she needs to be strong and she already prepared herself to this kind of answer. She smiled, even though it was really hard for her to do so.

“Good. That is what I wanted to hear the most. Thank you, Luhan, for telling me the truth.”

“But...  I can’t love her. Maybe we were not meant to be. She already has someone else with her and –”

“Luhan, I can assure you that... Suzy was suffering the way you did. Both of you were suffering. I can see the look in her eyes whenever she glanced at you. I want you guys to get back together – to be happy again.”

“Thanks, Jieun. But no, things are not the same as it was before already. We both already grow up. We were not in high school anymore. In a few months, we would graduate from college and we will went to separate life. We will become adult with greater responsibilities. She’s with her life and I with my life. I will try to move on, even if it kills me.” Luhan whispered.

Jieun rolled her eyes; she was irritated with him. Luhan acted like he was in this melancholic drama and he’s giving up way too soon. She pinched him in the arms causing the other to yelp in pain.

“OUCHH! What was that for?!” He pouted while rubbing the part where she pinched him. It leaves a red marks already.

“Serves you right! Luhan! I hate it how you acted like this! Don’t just give up easily! There is so much way to get your girl back.” Luhan was about to protest before she continued.

“-and don’t tell me that you can’t do it.”

Luhan huffed childishly before muttering something under his breath. The sullen mood around them was finally lifted a bit. Jieun laughed a bit seeing how childish Luhan look right now. The second he act around his age, then it changes just like that.

“Luhan,” She called softly.

“The reason I told you all this is mainly because I want you to be happy. I would be lying if I said I’m not hurt when I want to break up with you. Just like I said before, I love you, and since we were kids I already has a crush on you. I won’t be some third party who ruins your relationship and then suddenly changed into some protagonist in this – even though I sound like one. I’ve made my decision that I will back off. I want to correct the mistake that I’ve done before and I want you to be happy. That was the last thing I want to ask from you.”

Luhan was touched. “Thank you, Jieun. Thank you very much.” He smiled sincerely. Jieun gladly returned him the smile.

Finally, the thing that always been on her mind and the guilt she felt was lifted away. She was relief the fact that she can finally talk to him. Her mission had succeeded.

Jieun couldn’t help it when the tears that she had been holding all this while had finally rolls down her soft cheek. She quickly looked up and quickly wipes it, trying to hide her tears but it was already obvious to him.

“How awful am I, it should be some happy break up. I don’t even have any idea why I’m crying.” Jieun laughed, but it sounded really awkward – like she just pretends it.

Luhan smiled weakly. He understands her situation. In fact, he admired how strong she was to handle this kind of situation.

“Come here.”

He opened his arms for her, which she gladly leaned herself in his arms. Jieun wrapped his waist tightly and finally, she broke down. She cried on his shoulder.

She had always promised herself to not cry today. She wanted to break up with him peacefully without any tears. She let her guard down today. She lost to herself.

Luhan, on the other hand, didn’t care about getting his shirt wet, in fact, he softly caressed her hair and her back softly, trying to soothe her down.

Jieun also wrapped her arms tightly around him and adjusted comfortably to him. She wanted to enjoy being in his arms with him whispering soothing words near ear. Maybe this would be her last time to be held by him like this. Let her be happy, for this last time.

They finally broke apart, after a few minutes and when she finally calms down a bit. “Don’t cry anymore.” Luhan wiped the tears that were still on her cheek.

Jieun quickly wiped her tears. She must look horrible right now, with swollen eyes and runny red nose. “Thank you, Luhan. Thank you so much, because you had given me a chance to be with someone I love. I always will remember you.”

“Why are you saying like you gonna leave me forever? We can still be friends, right?”

“Of course.” She chuckled.

“Can I ask you one little thing before we really broke up?” Luhan nodded his head. “Sure, what is it?”

“This.” Jieun whispered before she leaned in to kiss him on the lips. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. Luhan was rather taken aback by her sudden action but he just let her kiss and he returns the kiss. She kissed him softly, brushing her soft lips against his for the last time.

She will never forget the time when she was happy with Luhan.

The moment she laughed with him.

The moment she was angry at him.

The moment she cried because of Luhan.

She will never forget everything about him.

She will always bury their memories in her head.

She would never forget this moment.

She will cherish it for the last time.

Without her realising, the tears rolling back on her cheek.

Goodbye, Luhan.

ASDFGHJKL! Okay! Mama was too excited and mama don’t freaking know where to start.

First, Mama’s back! Exo’s back!

Okay back on the story. So mama guess my dearies now where is this heading to, right? Kekeke mama don’t want to spoil anything!

Let just keep calm and wait okay!

ANYWAY! Welcome to all my new daughters and my new sons! My dearies are always welcomed in here and I hope we can get closer!

XOXO Mama SDK

(I love to do XOXO at the end of my author note but I never thought EXO’s new album gonna be XOXO too. LOL XD)