:: Flashback ::

Jieun’s POV

I was busying myself searching for Luhan. Why did I search for him? Mom told me too. I don’t know why but mom always forced me to do anything that she wants. And anything she wants includes me getting closer to Luhan. Not that I complaint though. I like Luhan. He was nice, charming, honest and as perfect as human can be.

One thing that I know, unfortunately, that he was taken. He already had a girlfriend. Figure, because if person like him doesn’t have any girlfriend, that would be totally abnormal.

That lucky girl, Suzy. She was nice and all that but I can’t trust her with Luhan. I mean, I don't know but there was something in me that makes me repel to her. That makes me be not like her. I said I don't like her. I don't know my dislike is up to par with hate. I don't hate her. Maybe yes or not. I was jealous and that was clear for me. I don't know what Luhan see in her, I know I was better than her.

I know Luhan even before she knows him. Even before Luhan moved to China and lived with his grandparents. I waited for him and I was glad when I heard that he moved back here. I never thought that he would turn out to be such an attractive man and I like him more since then. I was just too late when I heard the news that he had just got a girlfriend.

I clearly hate it.

We had a dinner once with mom's old friend which is Luhan's mother. That was the first time we met again since the last time we met is when we were still kids. Since that day, mom had always wanted me to get close to Luhan and she clearly like Luhan.

She told me to get close to him and make him as my boyfriend. Of course I had told her that he already had one but, as stubborn as she was, she still insist me to make him mine too. The reason mom like Luhan is only because Luhan is her friend’s son. Scratch that, best friend’s son.

I just don’t get my mom sometimes. It’s not that I hate the idea, I love it.

I don’t care if I would appear y but I want him to be mine too. I need to get rid of Suzy. And that I was doing now. Just my luck, I saw Luhan on the other end of hallway and of course, walking with his so called perfect – and – beautiful girlfriend.

People always say that they suited each other and  again, I hate it. I mean, they looked simply normal to me and as I said before, I was better than her. Since mom had transferred me in the same college with Luhan – as she reasoned out that I need to get close to him – the students here said that they are the longest lasting couple, the sweetest, and yada yada.

Luhan saw me and he waved at me, making Suzy to turn her attention to me too and she smiled too. I waved back at them him and ‘accidentally’ dropped my book on the hallway. Opps! Hehehe. Luhan quickly stride to my side to help me with my books and Suzy went to my side too.

“Thank you so much, Luhan” I smiled and take back all the books I was carrying earlier.

“No biggie.” Luhan replied as he tucked his hands inside his pocket. “Are you heading for lunch? You can come and join us if you want.” Suzy offered. “Yeah, you can join us; there’ll always be enough room for you.” Luhan seconded. Erk? With them? That bunch of other 11 crazy kids? No thank you.

There are so noisy and I clearly know that all of them didn’t like me. I’m not that stupid. I can sense it especially that clingy boy that was always cling to Suzy. Who was that again? Sehun, I think that was his name. He was the obvious one that didn’t like me at all. “No thank you, I already promise my friends to sit with them today.” Half wrong and half true.

I didn’t really promise because my friends force me to sit with them. “Okay then, we better go first. See you later!” Luhan said and walked hand in hand with Suzy towards the cafeteria. I rolled my eyes at the couple.

When I was at the cafeteria, I heard my friends, Jiyeon and Hara was waving at me. “Hey! Took you long enough!” Jiyeon rolled her eyes as I sat. Jiyeon really likes to wear this thick eyeliner around her eyes and it makes her looked so fierce but actually she was not that fierce.

“Sorry, I was having real bad time carrying the books that Mrs. Park asked me to.” I said but then I heard a loud noise that creates attention across our table and we obviously know who sat at that table.

Jiyeon and Hara who was sitting in front of me turned to look behind them for a while to see what was happening and turned back to me. I was still looking at them and I saw how Luhan’s hand always around her protectively and they seems like they are in their own little world, whispering to each other.

Even though I hate to admit it, Suzy was one of lucky girl because Luhan’s attention was clearly on her and her only. He would sometimes give her some peck on her cheek and her lips and that bunch of kids were teasing them loudly.

“Seriously, they were showing too much public displays of affection.” Hara said when she saw me looking at the couple. “Jieun-ah, I know you like him, but there is nothing you can do about it. They are clearly cannot be separate. I mean… look at them.” Jiyeon said. They both clearly know that I have this little crush on Luhan since I entered this college. “I know. That is why I was just staring at them from afar.”

One day, just one day, Suzy.

***

Since the day I’m being close to Luhan, somewhat too close, I could see that Suzy was getting insecure day by day. I don’t know I should feel guilty or happy about it. Naaah, or course I’m happy. My plan is slowly working. Corrections, my mother’s plan but since I was in there too, you could say I was the main character here.

There was one day I saw they both were fighting about something and I’m quite sure it was about me or some other people, precisely… Soohyun. The guy that has just transferred here. I was not that close with him even though we are in the same class somehow.

I can see clearly that Soohyun guy is having rather a huge crush on Suzy and Luhan is being insecure about it. I saw Luhan was walking in the hallway alone without his girlfriend around him this time and I get it that this is my chance to get close to him again.

“Luhan!” He turned and went to my side. “Jieun! Whoa! Why did you always bring so many books? I guess that is why you are so smart” He joked and kindly takes the book in my hand without me offering it.

“No its okay, Luhan. I can manage myself” He rolled his eyes. “You, really? With this skinny body?” He pointed at me up and down. “I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I rolled my eyes. We climbed down the stairs as we want to head to my locker. As we almost arrived at my locker, I saw at the corner of my eyes, there was Suzy skipping in the hallway and I guess she kind of saw us but

I’m sure Luhan didn’t notice that. He returned the book to me and I saw she was hiding behind one of the wall. I tried my best to make our conversation longer and make sure that she heard as well. We talked a few moments until he said, “I got to go now, Jieun. I need to find Suzy now. See you later.” He waved at me and went to the hallway where Suzy was. I frowned when I saw he walked away like that.

***

“WHAT?! STUDY BUSINESS IN NEW YORK?! NO! I DON’T WANT IT!” I yelled at my parents who were in front of me. I was being a good daughter all this time and now they forced me to study business? Hell no! I don’t want it! I love art! The just want me to let go just like that? No way! Why are they doing this to me? Why now?

“LEE JIEUN! DON’T YOU DARE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE AT YOUR PARENTS!” My father stood up from the couch. I know it’s rude to do that but they had just caged me in their stupid business world! They had blocked my own freedom! I didn’t reply my dad had said and I just want to clear my minds about this.

I took the car key and went inside my car that my parents bought me when I got my license. I drove to somewhere I didn’t know and just drove away. I was about to call my friends but I guess it wouldn’t do me a thing.

There was another person crossed my minds and I searched for his number and dialed it. I waited and waited and clearly he wasn’t picking it up. I just parked my car at somewhere I don’t know and cried all my heart out. I don’t know what to do. Why my mother always planned my life? Shouldn’t I was the one that should plan my own future?

It is my life! Not theirs!

My thought was suddenly interrupt when I saw some lights from a car and I saw it parked there. I was quite surprised to see that it was… Suzy. What is she doing here? I saw she was running but then stop, looking at someone from afar. I walked out from my car, slowly, not to create attention and peered at where she was looking. Luhan…? What are they doing here? My mind just thought about one thing and it makes me smile in satisfaction. I quickly go to Luhan before she does. “Ji-jieun?” He asked as soon as he saw me. “What are you doing here?”

“I've been looking for you all night long. Thank god I knew you might be here!” I quickly ran to Luhan’s side and immediately hugged him. I know he was shocked but he still tried to comfort me. “Shh… don’t cry. Tell me what happen?”

“Mom wanted me to inherit their business and in order to do that, mom told me to study business in New York. I don’t want to go.” I told him the truth and just at the thought of it make me really sad about my life. I purposely hugged him tighter just to let Suzy watch us.

“Are you really sure? Then what about drawing? Didn’t you want to be an artist?”

“That’s why I don’t want to go business, but mom forced me. I can’t quit on drawing. Not now.” I said and I can feel that slowly after that, he returned back my hug.

I smiled triumphantly despite the depression that I felt right now. I got his response, finally.

***

Wow. I never thought that after the night, everything gets better. For me. Because after I had a talk with Luhan – well it was really a long night – I came home late. And as I was on the strike with my parents, I rarely talk to them and sometimes ignore them.

They should really know how I feel about this and I really don’t want this. But then, I just got the news that Luhan and Suzy just broke up. Reason, don’t know why because they just stop being with each other anymore

So people assume that they had broken up. Maybe because of that night. Tch… serves you right, Bae Suzy. Now that I’ve found the news, I was more than happy as a ‘close friend’ to Luhan, I was there all the time for him.

No one's POV

"Luhan, what are you thinking again? You should eat your food before it gets cold, you know," Jieun waved her hands in front of his face which cause the later to flinched back, returning back from his reverie. "Huh?" He muttered but then look down on his untouched food. "Oh sorry." He grinned sheepishly and pick up his chopstick.

Jieun sighed, she was getting used to see Luhan like this since he broke up with Suzy but she really doesn't want Luhan to be like this. "Luhan, I know that this is out of sudden but I want to say something." She finally decided to tell him what was on her mind all the time. Luhan stopped chewing the food and looked up to her.

"Hmm?" His reaction just made her sighed again. Since that day, it was a precious and lucky moment to see Luhan talk. All he could mutter was only, "huh", "hmm", "Ehh" "Oh" and the list go on like that. He rarely talks, just like today.

"I like you." She confessed.

"I know." His face was emotionless since it was rare to see his sunny smile.

"Not as a friend but as a-" "Jieun," He said before she could continue her words.

"I know." He smiled weakly. Jieun shuts . This was embarrassing.

She would never think that all this time Luhan knew her feelings to him but yet, he still didn't say anything about it.

"I-"

"Can we go out together?" Her bold confession caught him for a moment. There was only awkward silence around them. Luhan didn't fully react to what she just said and it makes Jieun feels like she wanted to kill herself at that moment. It was really embarrassing for her, after making that confession.

She tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear curtly before awkwardly cleared . "Just forget what I just said, I mean-"

"Let's go out together." He said in matter-of-fact tone rather than asking her. Jieun was in daze when that happens. She gawked at him, looking into those mesmerizing pairs, searching for truth but she found nothing. His eyes still showed no emotion.

I will turn off mama mode for a moment for this serious matter. I'm so so sorry for the long wait. As I mentioned earlier in my previous note (those who read it will know because I've deleted that already) that I have some problems back at home

. The truth is, my grandmother is sick and I didn't really have time because I need to take care of her. But then, on 9th April ago, she passed away. That is why I can't really update. She lived with my family for almost 2 years and I felt really sad for her lost.

Now I slowly recovered and I will try my best to update. I hope you can understand.

xoxo SDK