After having our late lunch, we travelled back to our suite. I wasn’t surprised when their cuisine tasted so delicious. Lily Beach Resort & Spa is definitely a 5-star resort. Everything was absolutely perfect. Of course, I can’t help but spot a couple of Koreans, like us, meandering around the resort. Most of them were couples, too.

Reaching our suite, I told Sunggyu I was going to get changed into something more comfortable and meet him outside in five minutes. I grabbed my suitcase and rummaged for a loose shirt and comfy shorts. Nevertheless, I’m glad Sunggyu packed for me. If it was me, I would’ve forgotten the most important things to bring.

I found Sunggyu strolling outside the suite, at the sun deck. He was wearing a V-neck, plain, white shirt and colorful khaki shorts. It was strange. He definitely looked different wearing casual clothes than wearing those SYG uniforms.

“Hey,” I called out, casting a smile at his direction.

Sunggyu grinned. My heart did that flip thing again. Was I still hungry? “Hi.” He studied me from head to toe. “You look pretty.”

I rolled my eyes. “They’re just beach wear.”

He gestured towards the beach lounge chair overlooking the beach. If we stay here until twilight, I may possibly witness my first sunset ever. I plopped down at the chair next to him.

“Do you like it?”

I chuckled calmly. “No, I love it. Really, Sunggyu, you have asked me that twice now.”

Sunggyu ran his hand through his hair. “To be honest, I don’t know if you’d like the idea of having our honeymoon in Maldives,” he explained. “I mean, I won’t just be the one who’ll decide where, right? You have the right to know, too, but I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine,” I interjected, sighing. “I loved it. I swear.”

“Can you do me a favor?”

I gazed at him, memorizing his stunning side features. He faced me, meeting my gaze. My pulse raced and my heart did the flip thing again. “What is it?”

“Can we, for once, act like we’re a couple?” His voice was soft, like a gentle lullaby. I wasn’t surprised of what he asked though. “Or maybe, um, start over?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

He extended his hand towards me. “Hi, I’m Sunggyu,” he began. “Kim Sunggyu. I’m your childhood friend from the past. It’s nice to see you again.”

I smiled, shaking his hand. “Nice to see you again, Sunggyu.”

“Do you really not remember anything from the past?” he wanted to know. “Like when I was with you or when I was taking care of you when you were a baby?”

I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything when I was 3 years old and below.”

He frowned. “Oh, yeah. We’ve always been together since you were a baby. From Korea, to Australia and then back to Korea. But maybe…” he trailed off. “Never mind.”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe you were too caught up in your own little world with Seunghyun that you managed to forget about me,” he concluded. “No offense or anything.”

I wasn’t offended or even bothered that he said that. He was right. But I don’t know if I could ever let go of Seunghyun. I don’t know how or until when I am ever going to be able to do that. I blinked, my eyes resting on the wide horizon before me.

“Soo, I’m so—”

“No, it’s okay,” I interrupted him, giving him a small smile. “You’re right.”

“I want to know why you act cold towards me whenever we’re at school,” Sunggyu stated. I glanced at him, surprised that he even noticed it. “You only act like that to me but never to others. Especially to Jonghyun. But it’s nice to see you finally hanging out with someone than you being alone all the time.”

“I’m not always alone,” I stated.

“Do you hate me?”

I shook my head. “I don’t.”

“Then do you hate being tied with me?”

I nodded cautiously. “I hate it but I don’t hate you.”

“Is it because you’re still in love with Seunghyun?”

I didn’t respond but I know he knows the answer. Everyone asks me the same thing and I answer them one thing, too. Even though the important thing I need to do is move on and forget him, there’s a small part of me that don’t want to let go of him.

“Are you ever going to be able to move on from him?”

Am I? I’ve never asked myself that question before. I’m trying. I’m really trying to move on. But like I said, there’s a stubborn part of me that just wants to hold on to these memories I had with him. It’s just sad when the person who gave me the best memories I’ve ever had, became a memory.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I hope,” I murmured.

“I’ll make you forget about him,” Sunggyu declared, a hint of determination implied in his tone.

“I hope you succeed,” I teased with a small smile.

Sunggyu turned to face me, a smirk drawing on his lips. “Oh, I will,” he retorted. “Do you trust me?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to answer because I didn’t know what to say. Trust is a really big word. I trusted Seunghyun so much that I had expected him not to leave me. He told me he was always going to be there for me but in the end, he left. I trusted my friends but they left me. That’s when I learned pretty quickly that I needed to be careful of who I trust.

But for Sunggyu… I don’t know. I’m not ready.

But you can try.

“You don’t have to answer me now,” Sunggyu adds. “I can wait.”

Why would he? Why would he want to wait for me? As far as I could remember, no one would even dare to look at me. And besides, Sunggyu is out of my reach. Someone like me doesn’t even deserve him.

I sat up. “Sunggyu, are you really serious about…” I trailed off, wondering if I should say “me”.

“About what?”

“About this…” I trailed off, searching for the right word.

Sunggyu sits up and looks at me. His dark eyes were so piercing that I didn’t want to look away. I’ve never really thought about it but Sunggyu is one, gorgeous music teacher. If people liked him because of his attractive face, I wouldn’t even question it.

“I am,” he utters in a soft voice. “I don’t always show it but I am serious. If truth be told, it hurts me when you treat me differently from others. I keep thinking whether I did something wrong to you in the past. I kept thinking that… if we didn’t get into this mess and met normally, maybe you’d remember me and we’d be friends the way we were before.”

Our eyes never broke contact. He was serious. I could see it in his eyes. He was being honest and sincere and my heart gave a little squeeze.

“What if we never met?” The question wasn’t meant to be serious. A smile played on my mouth, teasing Seunghyun. Couple of moments ago, he was being serious and it wasn’t definitely like him to be that serious. So I tried to a little bit.

“What do you mean?” he asks, playing with a strand of my hair.

“What if we never met?” I repeated. “What if we never happened? What if I met someone else and you met someone else? I wonder how it’s going to be like.”

Seunghyun inhaled deeply. “Well, if we never met, I would’ve never been so happy like I am now. But if you’re happy with that someone else, I’ll support you. As long as that guy takes you seriously and makes you happy in any way possible. Also, trust someone who can see 3 things in you: The sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger and the reason behind your silence. Someone who loves you even if you’re being an absolute pain in the . But of course, you can never love him back if you don’t trust him to. So, if you meet that guy, I won’t have to worry anymore. I know he’ll take good care of you.”

“Don’t worry,” I . “I already have that someone.”

“But what if I leave?” he asks. “What if, one day, I suddenly disappear?”

My heart gave a little tug and a sudden fear envelops inside of me. Why was he asking this? “You’re not… actually planning to leave me, right?”

Seunghyun laughed quietly. “Of course not. But people die every day. We never know—”

“Don’t even think about it,” I growled. Seunghyun only laughed in response, pinching my cheeks and playing with my hair.

Maybe he was talking about Sunggyu? Maybe… maybe Seunghyun and I were never meant to be together forever.

I beamed at Sunggyu. “If I don’t remember you, let’s make new memories together then.”

♀ ________________________________________________________ 

long chapter, okay. and school is in a week. i'll probabl be giving slow updates.

i'm finally in college! hurrrrah. celebrate with me you guys. xoxo