Kakagraduate lang namin a week ago and I was looking forward to it because it's already the start of our vacation.

My family loves to go out of town lalo na kapag summer and I bet they're already planning where they'll go next this year.

It's not that I don't want to, but I'm not the type that na mahilig gumala. My sister is also not that kind of person. Maybe that's the only thing we have in common.

Minsan nagtuturuan na lang sila mommy at daddy kung kanino nga ba talaga nagmana yung isa nilang anak. Ate Joy is a different breed. Not that kind of bad breed but malapit na rin doon.

She likes to pull these silly pranks on every person in the house. But most of the time, I'm always the victim of these kinds of pranks. She likes my reactions daw kasi everytime she gets me.

It's harmless naman but sometimes I can't help but get annoyed at her. Ate Joy is a great person and would be a great sister to me if the pranks and jokes were removed from her vocabulary, but I know I can't do that. That's what makes up her personality.

But don't get me wrong, I love my sister.

"Rina, are you listening?" I looked up at Giselle when she snapped her fingers at me. I was a bit preoccupied with my thoughts.

"What is it?"

"Sabi ko why don't you tag along with me this summer?" she joked. "You know, we'll go back to our home town next week. I already told my friends na babalik na kami doon for good."

Ah.

I know Giselle has friends who were left behind when she transferred schools in senior high. She's been telling me stories about them ever since we got close. I don't even remember how, but to summarize the story, we just clicked.

"Remember when I told you we were once classmates back in elementary? Pero sandali lang yon kasi nagtransfer ka rin agad?"

I nodded.

I remember her telling me that story. Kaya raw niya ako nilapitan dati kasi ang familiar ko raw then it turns out classmate ko pala siya dati. Giselle's memory is really great because she still remembers those kinds of memories kahit matagal na siyang nangyari. I can't even recall those.

"My friends that I've been telling you about, they're also classmates with you. I'm sure they'll remember you kapag ipinakilala kita sa kanila," she tried to convince me.

"If you want lang naman, hindi naman kita pinipilit. If you want a change of scenery this vacation, you can tell me. Magka-college na tayo, I'm sure we won't be classmates anymore next school year," she pursed her lips. Mukhang nagpapaawa pa.

I chuckled, "Okay, balitaan kita if nagbago isip ko."

Giselle and I parted ways after that short meet up. Tutulong na raw kasi siya mag-ayos ng mga gamit since lilipat na naman ulit sila ng tirahan.

Excited na rin akong umuwi dahil may binili ako kahapon na ice cream. I haven't eaten it yet and I was saving it for today when I binge watch the series I've been wanting to watch. Giselle suggested that I watch Our Beloved Summer. She described it as a healing drama and she's right. I like how the story flows.

Pagkaopen ko ng freezer, I saw the ice cream I bought. Ang saya-saya ko pa dahil at last, I can finally have my peace.

I opened my laptop and clicked on the next episode. Tuloy-tuloy lang ang nood ko when I stopped muna to open my ice cream.

It was not the sight I expected to see.

My ice cream became a fish!

 

 

 

 

 

"Checkmate," Yeji smirked. "Pano ba yan Kars talo ka."

I groaned when my king was captured. I can't believe I lost to my cousin.

"Do I really have to do it?"

"Oo, ngayon na nga lang ako bumisita dito from Manila tapos di mo pa gagawin yung dare ko? Ang sakit mo na Kars," triny niya pa akong i-guilt trip which effectively worked in her favor. Minsan lang kami magkita ni Yeji since their family lives almost four hours away from here so I guess it won't hurt naman if I do the dare.

"Yiee love mo talaga ko 'no?" excited siyang nagbrowse sa phone niya. "Wait wala akong maisip na caption tanungin ko muna si Jinn."

"Jinn who..?"

"Yung kinekwento ko sa'yo, yung friend ko sa internet."

My cousin kept talking about this new friend she made on the internet because they both liked anime. She said this friend is really fun to talk to and they don't feel like strangers at all. It feels like they've already met before but in reality, hindi pa talaga because they're literally strangers.

I about it.

"Have you moved on from your ex?"

She frowned, "Ano namang kinalaman ni Julian dito?"

Oh, she hasn't yet.

"At saka babae kaya si Ryujin," she added. "Speaking of, nagreply na siya!" Lumiwanag agad yung mukha niya nang maka-receive siya ng reply.

She smirked, "Ito na yung ica-caption mo."

She showed me the message and I think gusto ko na agad idelete yung account ko after I saw it.

What kind of corny pick-up line was that?!

 

jinn:      ikaw ay parang cod😎😎 kc pinew pew🔫🔫 mO phuso koe😠

                ays ba

 

"Go na Kars, magpopost ka lang naman eh."

I swear I won't do Yeji's dares ever again.

Dignidad ko yung nakasalalay dito.

"Maganda ka naman Kars, I'm sure your facebook friends won't mind your caption."

I don't know if I'll be flattered by what she said or not.

Yeji told me to keep the post for a day and after that, I can do whatever I want with it. Of course I'll delete it or maybe erase the caption.

I was about to turn off my phone para hindi ko na makita yung mga nagrereact sa post ko when a new friend request came in.

 

Winter Kim sent you a friend request.

 

Weird.

I don't know a person named Winter so how did she find me?

I looked at her profile.

Oh, she's cute.

And we also have mutual friends.

I think it's harmless naman if I accept her friend request, right?

That same night, a notification from one of my old posts came out.

Someone liked my post and it turned out to be that Winter.

Is she stalking me?

 

 

 

 

 

"Huy Karina sorry na kasi. Hindi ko naman kinain yung ice cream mo eh, nilipat ko lang siya sa kabilang freezer."

Ate Joy keeps knocking on my room.

I'm still annoyed at what she did to my ice cream. Ang inexpect ko kasi ice cream ang makikita ko hindi isda.

"Joke lang kasi yon." She knocked again. "Hindi mo bubuksan? Isusumbong kita kay Sungjae bahala ka dyan!"

Kuya Sungjae is her longtime boyfriend.

Hindi ko alam kung paano niya natagalan si ate ng ganon given her personality but kudos for him for staying that long.

"Huy sorry na kasi."

I didn't open the door. I'm still annoyed at her.

 

 

 

 

 

"Kailan ka magkaka-girlfriend anak?" Mommy gave me a knowing smile while we were eating dinner.

Ayan na naman siya.

I already told her I'm not interested in any relationships. It's not really what I want right now.

"Mi, baka hindi na girlfriend ang gusto niya. Baka boyfriend na," Ate chimed in.

Mommy suddenly became interested, "Ohh boyfriend ba ang gusto mo Kars?"

Masama na ang tingin ko kay ate.

"Joke lang pala mi ayaw niya pa rin sa hotdog."

Tinuon ko na ulit yung atensyon ko sa kinakain ko.

"Galit ka pa rin? Joke lang kasi 'yon."

"Prinank mo na naman ba ulit ang kapatid mo Joy?" Daddy asked.

Ate Joy gasped exaggeratedly tapos may tinuro siya sa paanan ni daddy. "Di, may ipis!"

Upon instinct, itinaas ni daddy both yung dalawang paa niya mula sa upuan.

"Nasaan?!"

Halos hindi na makahinga si ate sa tawa. Ang funny kasi ng reaction ni daddy. Maski ako hindi ko rin napigilang matawa. Mommy is laughing as well.

Napailing na lang si daddy, "I can't with all of you."

 

 

 

 

 

"Aalis ka?"

I was already done packing my things when I told my family na sasama muna ako kay Giselle and I will spend my vacation at their barangay.

"Dahil ba doon sa ipinalit kong isda kaya ka aalis? Sorry na Kars promise hindi ko na yun uulitin."

I laughed at my sister. As if naman magagawa niya yon.

"Ate hindi ako galit sayo. I just decided that I want a change in the environment muna this vacation and you're right, to also stay away from your pranks for a while."

"Ay grabe harapan yung pananakit ha."

"Ate I think you should just focus on earning money instead of doing silly things."

"Oh narinig mo yung kapatid mo ah you should just focus on earning money," ulit ni daddy sa sinabi ko.

Ate immediately dismissed it, "Ih hindi yon masaya at saka kaya na ni Sungjae suportahan ang pamilya namin kahit wala akong gawin." She held her chin up. We just stared at her. "Joke lang! Sino nagsabing papagurin ko yung labidabs ko?"

My mother turned to me, hindi na pinansin si ate, "Find a girlfriend there. Dapat kapag bumalik ka dito, may girlfriend ka na."

She said it with finality.

What did I just hear?

"Anak tumatanda ka na, hindi ka na bumabata," paalala pa niya.

"Mommy, I'm still 18!"

"At magna-nineteen ka na next week, see?"

Now I'm wondering, am I the only normal one in our family?

 

 

 

 

 

"Hello?" Giselle answered after one ring.

"I think malapit na ako sa place niyo. Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here."

Isa pang liko and I think nakita ko na kung nasaan yung bahay nila Gi. I told her to come out to meet me.

I looked around the area.

This place is nice.

A breath of fresh air.

Lumabas si Giselle doon sa katapat na bahay which turns out to be her friend's house. She introduced me to them. The first one is Ningning and she told me she knew me because we were classmates back then. She also told me na nangongopya raw sila sa akin ni Winter dati.

Winter?

I looked at the girl who was quietly listening to us. I smiled at myself. Siya pala yon.

"I remember Winter though. You added me on Facebook, right?"

She was so cute when her eyes suddenly widened at what I said. Yes, I know you. I saw you liked my post pa nga.

I don't show it too much but I notice that Winter has been staring at me for a while now. I actually don't mind it naman but it makes me conscious of my actions. Why is she staring at me?

Or assuming lang ba ako kasi hindi naman na niya ibinalik yung tingin niya sa akin when Ningning called her.

 

 

 

 

 

"I-I'm Ryujin."

Four pala silang magkakaibigan.

They are very welcoming and hindi nila ako hinahayaang ma-left out of their conversations. It feels like I'm already one of their friends.

But Ryujin's name sounds familiar. "I think I've heard that name before," I muttered to myself. I don't know when or where or maybe iba lang yung narinig ko.

They invited me pa na lumabas kami sa malapit na café in their town.

I know myself. It's not really my thing when it comes sa mga ganitong gala but I guess I should loosen myself up a bit. Baka mawalan na ako ng time in the future if I won't do it now.

I even insisted that it's my treat kahit na ayaw pa nilang pumayag noong una especially Winter. She even said na siya na lang daw yung magbabayad para sa mga kaibigan niya but I think I worked my way on her because she just gave in to me in the end.

One thing I noticed with Winter is she's really clumsy when she eats her food.

She once had something at the top of her lip and she didn't even notice it until I told her. I even had to wipe it off of her.

There's also this one time when she almost choked on her food so I immediately got water for her to drink.

Alam ko naman na dahil sa akin kaya siya nabulunan. Maybe I stared at her too much.

There's something about her that makes it hard to take my eyes off once I lay my eyes on her.

I don't even know why I said that we could be partners in the future nang malaman kong architecture ang kinuha niyang course. It was just a slip of the tongue so to mask my surprise, I tried to wink at her.

I wish she bought that.

 

 

 

 

 

Giselle accidentally spilled a secret in front of all of us about Winter.

Nagpapakwento sa kanya sila Ningning but Winter looked at me and hesitated whether to tell the story or not about her crush. Alam ko naman na kakakilala pa lang nila sa akin and maybe she's uncomfortable telling it if I'm there so I tried to excuse myself pero pinigilan niya ako.

Winter has a tendency to like girls.

That's what I understood sa kinwento niya.

I think it was her first time coming out to her friends because she looked nervous while gauging our reactions.

That same day, I volunteered na samahan siya bumalik sa mall. Una niyang inaya si Ningning na samahan siya but she refused pati na rin si Ryujin. I noticed na tinatamad na rin si Giselle bumalik so I stepped up kahit wala naman akong bibilhin.

But I didn't tell her that.

Kaya nung tinanong niya ako kung ano yung nakalimutan kong bilhin, I answered her honestly.

"I just wanted to spend time with you."

Why did I even say that? I don't know.

 

 

 

 

 

When they prepared something for my birthday, I couldn't be more thankful. Okay lang naman sa akin kahit hindi na maghanda kapag birthday ko. A simple birthday greeting will do.

The night before, tumawag pa sa akin sila daddy. Sabi nila they'll wait daw na mag-12 A.M. so they could be the first ones to greet me. They asked if I wanted something for my birthday and kung kumusta ako dito kila Giselle. I told them I'm currently enjoying my stay here at wag na silang mag-abala pa.

Medyo napatagal pa yung pangungumusta nila kaya I woke up late kinabukasan and Gi's not at the house anymore.

When I asked Giselle's mom kung nasaan siya, she said she was at Winter's but when I got there, I found no one.

That's why I decided to chat Winter at doon ko nalaman kung anong ginawa nila. Winter didn't tell me literally, but when she greeted me a happy birthday, that's when I knew they were planning something.

They even look cute with the birthday hats they bought especially Winter. Hindi niya ata gusto yung idea ng mga friends niya na magsuot ng ganon but she just compromised to not ruin my birthday.

I even that she looked like an angry maltese pero mas lalo lang siyang sumimangot.

I guess this birthday will be one of my best yet.

They also prepared gifts for me pa nga but out of all the gifts, pinakanagustuhan ko yung bracelet na binigay ni Winter.

I even showed it to Giselle.

"Look Gi, Winter gave me a bracelet."

She stared at it and slowly, her smile became amused. "Wow, niregaluhan ka niya ng bracelet?"

I smiled even more. "Yeah it's pretty, right?" I let it dangle from my wrist.

"Of course it is, pero pretty rin naman yung regalo ko sa'yo right?" The irony was seen in her smile which made me laugh.

"Oo naman I like the keychain."

She nodded. "Pero mas maganda talaga yung kay Winter 'no?" she asked again.

"Yeah, I like it," sagot ko.

I didn't even notice the way she was staring at me that time na para bang inaaral niya ako because I was too focused on the bracelet.

I should've known by then.

I was starting to like Winter.

I like Giselle's friend.

Giselle already knew from the start that I like girls.

When I told her about the possibility of me liking her friend, hindi na raw siya nagulat.

Even if I don't tell her anything, she always notices how I act.

"You're like Winter this, Winter that. Sa tingin mo ba hindi ko pa yun mapapansin?"

She already had an idea before, but she's being careful about assuming things.

"Do you think.." I started. "Do you think Winter will like me?"

She looked at me na para bang tinubuan ako ng isa pang ulo.

"Rina, do you really think Winter will NOT like you?" She returned the question in a much more sensible way.

I trust Giselle on this.

And that's when it started.

I started to notice things around her.

Nagpapahatid sa akin minsan si Giselle sa church nila and there's this one time na habang hinihintay ko si Gi, a random person approached me. I don't even know him but to not make it awkward, I just talked to him out of courtesy.

Habang nag-uusap kami, I saw a figure not far from us. When I looked at it closely, I knew it was Winter. I didn't even notice that I cut off the man who was talking to me because I was only looking at her. I waved my hands at her but she didn't wave back at me.

Is she frowning?

Why is she frowning?

 

 

 

 

 

When I went to their house para sunduin si Winter for the tree planting activity, ate Lisa had this kind of look at me at sa kapatid niya. It seems like she knows something I can't even comprehend.

"Ingatan mo si Winter ha. Lapitin kasi yan eh," She even gave me a knowing look as she gestured at her sister.

I think she knows.

Especially when Winter scolded her about the things her sister said to me.

"Ate para naman akong bata niyan. Nakakahiya ka kay Karina."

"Hay nako Winter," Ate Lisa just shook her head.

She really knows.

Wait..

Does it mean she likes me for her sister?

Or assuming lang ako?

 

 

 

 

 

So how can I get her number without being too obvious?

Inabot na ako ng isang oras kaka-search sa internet but all the answers I got are not really helpful. They are all telling me to just ask directly but I don't think I can do that.

The best option for me here is to ask Giselle pero mapupunta ulit ako sa panibago na namang crisis. What will my first message be then?

Hi, I got your number from Giselle because I like you.

I don't think so.

Baka layuan niya pa ako.

Then a sudden idea came to me.

I remembered the trick our math teacher taught us on how to guess someone's phone number.

So I did it.

I asked Winter if she wanted to play a game and I'm glad she agreed.

After Winter sent me the answer she got, I immediately divided it by 2 and then I finally got the answer, or technically, I finally got her number.

God knows kung gaano kalawak yung ngiti ko that time.

I even called her so she can know kung ano ba talaga yung purpose ng game na 'yon.

It's time to make my move.

Maybe I should start by texting good morning messages to her?

I asked Giselle's opinion about it.

"No, hindi lang dapat good morning. You should also ask her about her day, kung kumain na ba siya, or if she slept well. Pwedeng magpahiwatig yung mga questions na yon that you want to know more about her and subtly tell her that you like her."

Why does Giselle seem to be the expert when it comes to things like this? From what I remember, she's not currently in a relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

"C-can I.."

"Uy ano yon? Don't be shy Karina tayo-tayo lang naman nandito ano ka ba."

After namin magreview for the entrance exams, nagpaiwan muna ako kila Ningning so I could talk to her. I don't even know why I'm doing this. Alis na lang kaya ako?

"If it's okay," namumula akong nagbaba ng tingin. "Can I get a copy of that picture?"

formed an O upon hearing my request.

While we were browsing the photo albums earlier, we came across our childhood picture, which I didn't know we had.

Mapanloko yung ngiti ni Ning nang malaman niya kung ano yung pakay ko.

"Ikaw ha."

"Can you not tell them that I asked for a copy?"

She gave a thumbs up, "Of course. Safe sa akin yung mga secret mo."

 

 

 

 

 

Winter likes me.

I knew she liked me.

The way she's reacting sa mga ginagawa ko sa kanya, I knew that I had an effect on her and it's giving me hope that we potentially share the same feelings.

I started showing a little more care, making it a little more obvious sa kanya which I can testify that she knows I don't usually do it to other people.

Pero wala ata siyang balak gumalaw.

How can I make her confess?

Should I just tell her directly?

Then something happened when I went to visit her kinabukasan after ng entrance exams.

Umaga yon nang tinawagan ko siya tapos napansin ko na parang nag-iba yung boses niya.

I asked her about it at tama nga ako, she has a fever.

I was worried at her kasi naulanan siya kahapon. Medyo may kalayuan rin kasi kung saan ako nakapagpark dahil puno na yung parking area. Wala pa man ding may dala ng payong sa amin.

"You should eat and take your medicine. I'll see you later Winter," I said before I ended the call. I'm planning to visit her after niya makapagpahinga.

"Rina, do you know aling Lenlen?" Giselle asked while we're walking papunta kila Winter. "Nakausap daw siya kanina ni mama and she said that you promised her that you will meet her son daw."

I looked at her confused.

I had already forgotten about it. 

Bakit ba kasi ako nag-agree na i-meet yung anak niya in the first place.

I don't know what got into me when I told Winter about it.

Siguro merong inner me na nagsasabi sa akin na kailangan itong malaman ni Winter. I should at least tell her about it.

"Is it okay if I meet him?" I finally asked, gauging her reaction.

Then one thing led to another.

"What if wag mo siyang kitain?"

I clearly heard her answer. She doesn't want me to meet him.

Dahil doon, mas lalong tumaas ang pag-asa ko sa kanya.

She likes me.

 

 

 

 

 

I was really planning on not meeting him but this Jeno guy is so persistent. He even visited me at the house. Even Giselle couldn't make him go away so I had no choice.

Okay, one date at sasabihin ko sa kanya na wala siyang pag-asa sa akin.

But things just keep getting more complicated.

Winter saw us habang naglalakad kami sa kalsada.

Jeno saw her kaya nilapitan namin siya. Apparently, they were friends.

Winter kept looking at me while they were talking. It seems like she wants to get an explanation from me.

I don't know what to say.

"Tamang-tama!" she clapped her hands. "Sakto magtatanghalian na rin! Sama na ako."

Did I hear it right?

Winter..

She's so unexpected.

I really need to clear my side. I want to talk to Winter but I can't even get a chance to talk to her alone. Jeno is really—how do I put this? Attentive?

Hinatid niya pa ako hanggang sa makauwi kami. I tried to ask Giselle's help but she was like 'kaya mo na yan'. Napakahelpful talaga. Napansin ko pa sila kanina ni Ningning na tingin ng tingin sa amin ni Winter. I know they're teasing her.

Papasok na sana ako sa bahay pagkababa namin but Jeno stopped me.

"Sana hindi mo masamain yung bigla kong pag-amin kanina habang kasama natin sila Winter," Jeno shyly his neck. "Pero totoo talaga na gusto kita."

Okay, here it comes.

How will I say it to him?

"Narinig mo naman yung sinabi ko kanina diba?"

"Ah yun? Oo alam ko naman na hindi mo ako gusto pero kaya ko maghintay. Sana payagan mo akong manligaw sayo." He looks determined to make me like him but I don't think it's the same for me.

"I..I don't like you," I started. "I don't like men in particular."

"Oh," he looks taken aback. "Wala talagang chance..?"

I was sorry for him but he needs to know I can't give it to him. I already like someone at ayokong isipin niya that I'm giving her mixed signals.

That night, I was browsing Instagram when I saw Giselle posted our photos. Tiningnan ko yung mga naka-tag na accounts and I saw everyone. So I followed them one by one except for Jeno.

Hindi naman maganda na ni-reject ko siya tapos bigla na lang akong magfa-follow sa IG right?

I checked Winter's account but I didn't see anything dahil nakaprivate siya. I still have to wait until she accepts me.

I replied to her story, casually striking up a conversation then I brought up the talk we had noong may sakit siya.

I can't believe her.

How could she say na kalimutan ko na lang yon? She's even pushing me to Jeno.

 

yukarina:        can i call you?

 

I had to call her.

We won't communicate well kung sa chat lang kami mag-uusap.

"I told Jeno na may iba akong gusto."

Winter didn't say anything for a while.

"Okay," I heard her say. It was only a word, but there was something about the tone of her voice that I knew about.

I knew Winter knew about it.

About that someone.