so, this chapter is from Joohyun's pov. song for this chapter is Taeyeon's "time lapse". 

여전히 그대로죠 생일은
몇 번씩이나 지났고
분명 나 역시 조금 더
어른이 돼 있는 것 같은데

yeojeonhi geudaerojyo saengireun
myeot beonsshigina jinatgo
bunmyeong na yeokshi jogeum deo
eoreuni dwae itneun geot gateunde

Birthdays
Are always the same
Many of them have passed
I feel like I’m becoming an adult

Living alone was and should no longer be a problem to Joohyun. Her two years of living in oversea, having no one but herself to rely on. She was able to get through it without much struggle.

But after coming back to Korea for a year and more, only to revert back to zero,

It had been months. Months of having someone there for her whenever she needed someone to talk to, knowing she was no longer alone. Months of her heart being completed by the presence of someone.

She was forced to be independent, again.

No one knew where was Joohyun, even Joohyun didn't know where she was. It didn't matter anyway, wherever she was; it was hell without her.

She had to get away, call her a coward, or whatsoever, she could only resort to fleeing to wherever that didn't remind her of her.

But, everywhere reminded her of her.

So, this was how she felt when Joohyun went to Japan.

To have someone you love back by your side, then only to lose the person again.

Joohyun knew it was going to be hard, not this unbearable..

After mending your broken heart, only to get it to be torn again. 

Joohyun would rather die next time. Though, she was dying now.

"Joohyun, it's noon already, are you sure you wanna stay in the bed all day..?" The unfinished question, the endless worry, and the unspoken words that come after it.

Again?

She didn't even bother to get her head out of her blanket, as she heard the door being opened, the footstep drawn near to her, the hand drawling close to her. Joohyun shook her head vigorously in the blanket, the person sighed at the reluctance of getting out today, again.

As the door being closed, Joohyun shrunk her body closer to her, her eyes clutched shut as she shook her head to stop rewinding of their playful banter.

아직도 너의 그 이름을 떠올리면
눈물이 맺히고 잠시만 눈을 감으면
니 모습이 보이고 모든 게 변해가도
너만은 항상 같은 자리에서
똑같은 모습으로 계속 날 울려

ajikdo neoye geu ireumeul tteoollimyeon
nunmuri maechigo jamshiman nuneul gameumyeon
ni moseubi boigo modeun ge byeonhaegado
neomaneun hangsang gateun jarieseo
ttokgateun moseubeuro gyesok nal ullyeo

But still, when I think of your name
Tears well up and when I close my eyes
I see you and even though everything changed
You’re always at the same place, looking the same
Making me cry

"You need to get up, Joohyun."

She patted lovingly at Joohyun's head hidden under the blanket, mumbling as someone disturbed her much needed sleep.

"You promise me, you will run with me today." She was getting violent, wanting to pull the blanket away, yet Joohyun's hand clinging on it, hard and relentless, as it was the only item kept the sun from her.

"Seungwan, I would run away with you, not run with you."

She burst out laughing at the cheesy line, playing along. "Can I at least get a morning kiss before I run away, then?"

The head popped out in no time, lunging forward to the refreshing lips, the hand was naughty enough to encircle around the neck, pulling her close, closer to Joohyun. The lips of Joohyun nibbled the other for dear life.

Her favourite breakfast.

All of it was sweet, lovely and fluttering, now all of it indelible, plaintive and torturing.

Joohyun couldn't live like this. Any insignificant gesture which she didn't pay attention back then, only start to surface as carving in her mind, permanent and persistent. The freshly dried tear stain around her strained eyes was flooding again. The tears had no end.

Joohyun foresaw the ending, though never prepared herself for it.

"No?" The man who was setting up the table looked up at his lover who walked out from the room.

The man sighed at the shake of his lover's head, his hand retrieving the third plate and cutlery back to the cupboard again.

"Should I go and talk to her?" The man spoke up as they settled down at their respective seat, the tone dejected as he couldn't stop worrying his niece. "It's been days.."

"Maybe we should wait. Let her gather her mind." The hand stretched out to pat the worried man's hand, caressing as he spoke.

"Joohyun?" The uncle who was completely startled to open his door to see his niece, completely disoriented, staying in front of him.

"Can I come and live with you guys for a while?" With a beg pack carrying in one shoulder, her voice trembled with quake, her eyes puffy and red.

The two men quickly ushered the drained girl into the house, asking the girl to clean herself, helping her to arrange the bedroom at the meanwhile.

"You can stay as long as you want, it'll be just like highschool." The uncle patted the girl on the head with a warm smile before he left the room, giving space to the uncle and niece.

As the door was closed, leaving the uncle and niece in the door, the uncle sat beside Joohyun who lied on bed, softly asked.

"Is this about Seungwan?"

Joohyun's reflectively seized at the blanket she had been holding, the tears which was just barely suppressed, came pouring out again as she heard the name.

Turning her body aside, as she begged, as she choked down the tears.

"Can... we not... talk about it now?"

She didn't want to talk about it now, probably never.

"Joohyun, we're heading out to work. There's food on the table, make sure you eat it, okay?"  The warm voice echoed through the door after the knock.

The still body of hers hiding below the blanket caused the closing of the main door resounded the whole place.

She dragged her exhausted body up from the bed, slowly blinking her strained eyes open, her strengthless hand removed the blanket. She couldn't remember the memory of her taking shower yesterday, thank god that she still remembered to shower now.

As she walked out the room, the food the uncles made came into her sight, set up properly on the table.

여전히 그대로죠 계절은
몇 번씩이나 변했고
이젠 너 없는 일상에
조금은 익숙해질 법도 한데

yeojeonhi geudaerojyo gyejeoreun
myeot beonsshigina byeonhaetgo
ijen neo eopneun ilsange
jogeumeun iksukhaejil beobdo hande

The seasons are still the same
Though many have passed
Now it’s time that
I got used to being without you

"I felt something, Joohyun. Something I have never felt before, and I know you felt it too."

Joohyun clutched her eyes at the flashback, it could never leave her alone.

Each of the past memory was translucent back then, only to get limpid as she recalled. The long blunt knife was sharpened each time as she remembered, stabbing into her heart. The throb inside her intensifying, it was never ending.

God, just ended her already.

She leaned her body on the tile wall to rest from the exertion, as she finally arrived in the bathroom. Her eyes fluttered shut as the warm water came pouring out from the showerhead, hoping the warm water would probably provide the warmth she'd been longing.

Would it ever be enough?

A sigh left as she heard her handphone ringing, all the friends already stopped texting or calling her to ask her where she was, her head pounded as she heard the loud blaring ringtone from her room.

It was the ringtone for her sister.

She purposely dreaded her way to the room, giving it time for the ringtone to cease. And it did.

Yet, it rang again within seconds.

Knowing it would probably blasted non-stop if she didn't pick up, one thing she loved and hated about her sister was the persistence of getting what she wanted.

"Hmm?" Joohyun's voice was too hoarse to muster a "halo" because it'd been days that she was getting any liquid.

"Why are your voice like this?" The other recognised the struggle of speaking up.

"L..ost.. my voice." Joohyun settled herself on the bed as her legs worn out from the millions steps to her room, leaning her heavy head leaning against her hand, felt strained immediately after days of not speaking.

"Where are you?"

Joohyun could feel the frown on the younger's face as she asked.

"D..or.m." The lie flew like streamingwater as Joohyun spoke. Joohyun hoped it could stay like that, at least she could mask all of it in front of the uncles.

"Don't lie, unnie. I just went to your dorm. They said you moved out."

Joohyun's breath hitched as the truth came and slapped on her face, couldn't bring herself to speak. She wasn't really in a mood of explaining anyway.

"Are you guys living together now?"

Even Jooyeon didn't mean it, the piercing pain spreading across her body.

"Is that a yes?" The accusingly demanding tone from the younger irked Joohyun.

"No."