Wendy pondered at the question thrown to her, didn't know what to answer. She imagined Joohyun as Erza, picturing Joohyun hiding things from her. But, Joohyun was always honest to her. Despite Joohyun might want to hide initially, she would eventually confide as Wendy pursued her.

She didn't overthink the intention behind Joy, as they always asked each other hypothetical question. It was a habit between them.

Wend answered, though with an ambiguous answer. "I would need to know why he hides things from me. Then, only I can decide whether to leave him or not."

This was not what Joy expected, Joy thought Wendy would have stayed.

"I thought you will stay, nevertheless."

Wendy, her hand holding up the coke, turning to her friend after checking her sister was indeed losing herself in the dart, jumping up to celebrate her first bull-eye shot, saying. "After the years of dating, Erza should have known that honesty is extremely essential for relationship to work. He should have told me the truth and then, we would work it out."

"Together." She put the glass down and continued. "He doesn't get to decide it himself. It's my right to know and my decision to make."

The finality in Wendy's opinion somehow made Joy winced. She couldn't help but to worry when Wendy recalled the phonecall the couple had. She could only wish her gut was failing her this time.

Wendy wasn't surprised that Joy being surprised on her answer, she knew what all her friends thought of her.

Accepting, giving and mostly kind.

That's the version of her she chose to show them, but she wasn't pressured or forced to be that Wendy.

Or at least felt obligated to continue to be that.

That was part of her, nevertheless.

Despite relationship was mostly emotional, nevertheless rationality was required in it. The previous experience from her own paretns, to make a relationship to work, the effort from both sides was essential. The basic mutual respect that made the relationship to blossom.

In the play, she understood Erza's intention but couldn't agree or even empathize to Erza's constant lying. It seemed to Wendy that Erza was just afraid to face the truth himself, selfishly wanting to avoid the confrontation.

It was all just a beautiful excuse for his ugly lie.

After Joohyun closed the dorm door, she lied herself on the bed, looking upward to the ceiling. Her mind was tired from the uncountable of foreseen outcome would happen to them when Seungwan found out, and also reminiscence of all the memories they had.

Haunted by the unforeseen future and the unalterable past.

Even if she was mentally tired, the adrenaline spike caused by her anxiety won't let her rest.

She fished out her phone, calling that one person she could turn to for stuff like this, knowing the person would listen to her thoughts, nevertheless.

Other than Seungwan.

Despite Joohyun knew Seungwan would listen to her babble regardless of anything, it was still hard to confide to Seungwan when the main reason of the dilemma was Seungwan.

Joohyun was so afraid to destroy whatever she had with Seungwan.

She wouldn't risk to lose Seungwan.

Not again.

"Joohyun? It's almost past 12am, this is when our cells build and start repairing." The voice screeched through, despite it was 12am, the voice showed none of any sleepiness.

And, of course, the nagging was expected by Joohyun.

"Seohyun. I need someone to talk to."

"Have a fight with Wendy?" Seohyun who was leaning against the headboard, reading a book on her bed, picking up the bookmark and put on the page.

Joohyun sat up immediately, "How did you know Seungwan and I got together?"

Seohyun chuckled at her childhood friend. "Please don't forget you two already had a dinner with Yuri and Yoona unnie, had bumped into Taeyeon unnie and Tiffany in front of the dorm. And also, met Sooyoung and her boyfriend."

Joohyun could only grimace in response as she totally forgot about there was no secrets between the other 8,  and also slightly coy at the fact she was one of the frequent topic among the girls.

Seohyun knew her friend must be blushing, as all the people who met the couple already mentioned about that cute, shy reaction.

"No, we don't have a fight." Joohyun spoke up after a moment of silence.

And, Seohyun just patiently listened her childhood friend to talk. Joohyun was kind of slow when it comes to sentence. She needed time to construct her sentence, perhaps scared of saying the wrong thing.

Or thinking the right word to say, which correctly express what was in her mind.

With Seungwan, it was easier. Joohyun didn't need to overwork her brain to say the correct word. She didn't need to think of using the right tone.

Her words just flew.

In front of Seungwan, she could be herself.

Just Joohyun being Joohyun.

"She's great." More than perfect, actually. But, Joohyun knew it was too cringey to say. "She always talks it out when things get into our way."

Joohyun would never forget Seungwan said yes to meeting the parents and the uncles. And how open Seungwan was thinking toward her suggestion of meeting the parents. Seungwan was nothing but accommodating to Joohyun.

Seungwan was definitely spoiling her.

Still, Joohyun couldn't bring herself to be honest to Seungwan.

"She still doesn't remember?"  Seohyun knew Joohyun well enough and knowing all these praises Joohyun showered to Seungwan were just smokescreens.

"She recalled parts of it, not the whole thing. Just fragments."

"What really happened back then? Joohyun." Seohyun finally asked as Joohyun never told her about the colour incidents after the first confession.

Joohyun started to fill in the missing details. "Before I left, didn't I write you a letter? I wrote one for her too. And it made her confessed to me again."

"Oh god. What did you write to her?" Seohyun was a little bit startled at the revelation.

"I was just trying to express my gratitude as she was so nice to me." Joohyun explained her motive behind her gesture.

"You were so oblivious. People with eyes wouldn't have second guessed the fact that she had a crush on you." Seohyun voiced out her frustration on her childhood friend. "You were so afraid of losing her after she confessed, even asked me about how she was doing when you left? And now, a letter for her after she confessed? I mean come on, it's not platonic behaviour."

Joohyun already arrived in Japan for 3 months. It was when she finally got herself adapted to the culture, getting used to the syllabus over there. The exam was still far from reach, it was a relaxing period for her.

Joohyun was finally able to talk to her childhood friend after settling herself. Technology could be a great help for time like this. Despite they were physically far away, they could stay in contact with each other.

Via Skype.

"Hey, how was Japan?"

Seeing her childhood friend's face, hearing her childhood friend's voice, it brought a smile to her face, feeling herself finally relaxed for the first time in these overwhelming first three months.

"You know what it is, the nostalgia and homesick. And the non-stop doubt on whether I did the right choice to study here." Joohyun straightaway summarised the three month for her friend.

Seohyun chuckled at what her friend threw her. "Okay, beside that. Tell me about the details."

So, the two of them updated each other how they had been for the past three months. Before they ended the call, Seohyun could see Joohyun started to fidget, knowing her girl wanted to ask something.

About someone.

That someone had a string which controlled her friend's emotion.

And her oblivious friend still couldn't figure it out.

"I..I" Joohyun glanced anywhere but the monitor as she said. "have something to ask you."

"I know. You only have that face when you talked about her." Seohyun sighed at her friend's expression.

Only grief could be seen whenever the person was brought up.

Seohyun never once thought to see her friend being this remorsed, as she was there for Joohyun in every stage of Joohyun's life.

Before Seungwan, Seohyun was the first one who got to enter Joohyun's heart.

When Joohyun could be Joohyun.

Joohyun, then, only brought her eyes to meet her friend and asked.

"How was she when I left?"

The question she couldn't stop thinking about.

Was she coping? Was she okay?

"You mean that day? Oh, crying her eyes out and disappeared for few hours." Seohyun told Joohyun what she knew.

Joohyun panicked at the last part. "What do you mean by that? Disappeared for few hours?"

"She skipped the first few classes, and wandered off alone? That's what we heard. We aren't very sure about what actually happened." Seohyun shook her head as she answered.

Joohyun could only nod dejectedly at her friend's explanation.

She was expecting something like this, yet this didn't prevent her heart to ache, to crack.

Seungwan wasn't okay.

Seungwan wasn't coping.

And, Seungwan was supposed to get over her in no time, like what her sister said.

"I know, Seohyun. I know." Joohyun sighed at her friend's truth bomb, her voice thick of guilt and regret. "I didn't want to think about that, I couldn't think about that. You know how my family is gonna react."

No matter how much Joohyun talked about it, she could never forgive herself from hurting Seungwan.

The tears just came when she thought of how much hurt she caused Seungwan.

Seohyun who knew all the family drama experienced by Joohyun, who was there to hear her friend to rant, to share all of the harsh words could only sigh at the statement.

It was hard to accept the cruel fact of sometimes they would never be able to get rid of the most toxic ones.

Whom they wanted absolutely no association with.

How ironic that family who shared blood, providing no comfort or love.

Only to cause distress and stress.

Seohyun who understood her childhood friend so well, then, spoke up. "But Joohyun, whatever you did to her is already in the past. And you can't change it. I know you wish to make things right if you have a second chance."

Joohyun nodded her head as Seohyun spoke, letting Seohyun's words to sink in.

"Whatever done can't be undone."

The sentence dawned at Joohyun.

It blew all the doubt away.

"And, now you have the second chance. I'm not saying whatever you did was right, but you were scared. That was your first time to handle stuff like that. And yes, you could have, or should have handled it in a better way."

Joohyun winced at the last sentence. That was what Seohyun did all the time, empathic yet critical.

But, Seohyun meant well, wanting her to stop blaming herself for the mistake she had done.

Wanting her to grow out from it.

To own it.

"It's eating you alive. And, I'm sure Wendy is, sometimes, confused by you Because you lock yourself up when it becomes too much. She deserved to know what's in your mind. I am not telling you to drop the bomb at her suddenly. You can tell her slowly, bit by bit, telling the detail to help her to recall, being there for her as she recalls."

Joohyun wondered how all her friends were always this wise, or was she still the immature one.

She was definitely lacking.

She had so much to learn.

"Let her know that this time you will not run away again. You will not let her to face it alone."

Joohyun recalled what Beca said in the bar.

"Show her all your love."

"Thank you, Seohyun. Thank you." Joohyun voiced out her gratitude to her childhood friend.

"Why don't we meet next week?" Seohyun suggested as she knew Joohyun wouldn't fall asleep if they kept talking in this moment. "And, it's been months since our last meeting since you have been busy with her." And Seohyun grabbed a chance to friend.

Joohyun heard the teasing grin spreading on her childhood friend's face after the sentence, yet couldn't find a word to rebuke the teasing, and only managed to mutter her reply. "S-sure. I'm free on Wednesday."

"I'll send you the cafe address, there's a cafe I wanted to try." Seohyun chuckled at her cute friend. "Don't think too much, Joohyun. Go to sleep now -"

"I know skin cells regenerate now." Joohyun interjected as she heard this countless time, she already got it memorized, even knew it by heart.

"Good night, Joohyun."

"Good night, Seohyun."

And the moment that Joohyun hung up her phone, there was a knock outside her room. Joohyun's face snapped to her door, yet made no effort to stand up, because it was midnight for God's sake.

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