"우리는 오렌지 태양 아래
그림자 없이 함께 춤을 춰
정해진 이별 따위는 없어
아름다웠던 그 기억에서 만나"

"Hey... You recognize me? I'm wearing a mask though."
"I can see your eyes, still."

A young woman wearing blue jeans, a plain white shirt, and a blue checkered flannel shirt with a thick dark blue coat greeted me with her friendly, gentle stare. I moved closer while looked around inside the pet shop. The pet shop itself, I used to come here several times to buy stuff for Zero. Since I was so busy, I rarely come again, I usually buy things from online shops and call the pet service to home directly.

"Is it cold out there?" She spoke to me again.
"Yeah... It is. You might wanna tighten your coat..." I moved closer to her ears. "...babe."

She glanced at me when the pet shop officer came closer to us.

"You finally found something for you, Miss?"
"Yeah. I feel like I'm having a connection with this one." She held a white toy poodle type dog. "I love this so much."
"Very well... I can see that." The office smiled warmly. "Let me settle things for you. Also, we will send the dog to you tomorrow, after some treatments. Would that be okay?"
"Sure! I can wait until tomorrow."


She gave back the dog to the officer who left us while doing her job.
"Why do you suddenly want to have a dog?"
"To accompany me..."
"Guess he really gonna replace me then." I was joking and she responded cutely.
"I'll name him Bbuggu..."
"Cute." I smiled. "So, this is why you asked me to come here? How do you know this place?"
"Why? You know this place?"
"I... Yeah... I know this place. I used to come here."
"I know..."
"How would you know?"


She suddenly fell silent and looked at me flatly. I was quite confused by her attitude that day, actually. But since I didn't know what happened with her during her short family vacation, I could say nothing much on her. I approached and held her forehead. She responded by touching my hand, then held it tightly.

"I'll settle the payment first then we go."
"Are we going to your hotel, or my apartment tonight?"
"We have to go somewhere else first."
"Where?"
"You'll know."
"Are you okay?"
"Why?"
"You're a bit... weird today."
"Didn't you say I'm the weirdest?"
"No, but the prettiest weirdo."
"You can't buy me with that now."


I chuckled on her response. She left for a while to settle things. I looked around the pet shop again. Nothing's changed much there. Exactly the same interior with the last time I visited this place. Years ago, Jessica asked me to visit this pet shop as she was so excited to buy some cute puppy outfits for Zero. We went to this place several times back then. I had no idea why Ji Eun brought me there, that particular pet shop. There are hundreds of pet shop in Seoul, I'm sure of that, but for a reason, that was the one we visited that day. What a coincidence.

This is weird... I heard her voice.


"Let's go..." Ji Eun woke me up from my thought. Thank God.
"Where?"
"Somewhere only we know." She whispered softly.

We were sitting on the bench, in the corner, facing the Han River. Exactly the same spot when met for the first time, almost four years ago. The weather was quite amusing, it was cold still, but the sky was clear and the moonlight was radiating on the surface of the river makes the view even more beautiful. It felt incredibly satisfying to be there, I seemed to get the peace I needed the most.

"Remember when I met you for the first time here?"
"I remember I saw a crazy woman singing loudly facing the river... I can't forget." I put a big smile on her face.
"And I met a stupid stranger who gave me her jacket while she was feeling cold. Duh..." It was my turn to smile. "We've been through our journey quite a long, don't you think so, Tae? Still and all, it feels like it was just a while ago, everything that happened."
"Yeah. Time flies fastly." I still didn't know where would the conversation go.
"I was thinking a lot recently... I think a lot about you, of course... about us, about everything."
"What were you thinking of? Specifically."
"If I'm ready or not, or will I ever be?"
"Ready for what?" I narrowed my eyebrows, confused.

She pulled out a small box, maybe about 10 cm? It was a box made of blue velvet. I was speechless and stunned staring at the box, wondering if it's possible that she wanted to ... propose to me? It didn't look like a ring box, it was way too big for a ring, but maybe she didn't use a ring, maybe a necklace? People can choose any object to propose someone, no need a ring at all. Is that make sense at this point? My mind was quite chaotic and I honestly panicked enough to respond.


"Here, inside, it's a precious thing I found. I might want to share it with you, Kim Taeyeon." Her voice broke the silence in mind. I was stoned, still. I glanced at the look on her face that looked very calm. I honestly felt I shouldn't be surprised by that as we have gone through enough time together to support each other. I think Ji Eun finally decided to try her luck this time, considering that she will most likely sign a contract to work in Paris, at least for a year long. I think that was the time when she tried to convince me to live with her. Nothing was wrong. The only thing that's wrong was me, the unstable me. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for you to share it with me?"
"Do you want me to share it with you?" She asked me back.
"You're... an incredible girlfriend. The best girlfriend everyone could ask for." I gulped. "But could you give me some time to really think about it, Jieun-ah? I mean, it's a big decision to make. I just want to make sure I won't hurt you."
"Why would you think you would hurt me?"
"I... I don't know... I just..." I felt a sudden sore throat. I felt exhausted. "Trust me, if you give me time... I can think about it... I can. Trust me, I can."


For a moment, I thought she would respond angrily, because she must have felt disappointed with my indirect answer, but instead, she gave me a sweet smile that felt warm to me. I was stunned to look at her. My mind was really chaotic, I don't understand why I feel all that, but I felt really chaotic. I wanted to cry ... I wanted to run away from all this ... I really didn't want to hurt her. She moved her face closer and caressed my cheek.

"Ji Eun, I love you..."
"I know. We know that."
"I didn't mean to hurt you. I just..." It was harder than I thought. "Give me time, I can do this."
"Do what?"
"A marriage."
"You're not saying that when you decide to choose somebody to be with you forever, Tae." She smiled even bigger. I didn't understand. "You don't say 'you can do it'. You should be saying 'you want it'. As much as I believe that marriage is different from love, but I simply know if you really want somebody, you will work on the relationship... not on the feeling. You can't decide who to give your heart to. You can't even think about it. It's not working that way."


She faced the river but leaned her head on my shoulder. I felt it the hardest to absorb all of her words. Ji Eun is not a typical person who is used to talking directly. She's a smart woman. I felt like I was riding a r