"Jessica, my sweetheart." she said. I approached her in our garden. She pulled the young eight-year-old me towards her and made me sit on her lap. "What's wrong, my baby girl?" 

"Mommy." I uttered. I was crying. "Yuri said I am ugly." I buried my face in my hands.

"Oh, baby. It's all okay. You're not ugly. Don't believe him."

"He doesn't like me."

"Boys are always like that. Especially that kid. He's like his dad Yunho when he was young."

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"He's just hiding his feelings. I think he has a crush on you too. Yunho was the same towards his girlfriend before."

"Really?"

"Yes. I totally see that Yuri stealing glances on you during our lunch."

I pouted, "He told me I'm ugly twice when we first met this morning and also now. He meant it cus he said it twice."

"He's just saying that because he's hiding his crush on you."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because that is how your father was to me. He always teases me, telling me I'm ugly and such. In the end, your dad admitted he always had a crush on me."

"But, dad isn't the same as him."

"He is." She then pointed at Yuri who was taking a peek at us from the window of our home. "See? He's looking at you." That made Yuri looked embarrassed and quickly hid.

"You really think so?"

"Of course."

I wiped my tears. "Still, he called me ugly."

"So, is that the reason why you don't have a crush on him anymore?"

"Yes. I don't want to be friends with him too."

She sighed, "Alright, sweetheart. It's okay. Just let him regret what he said someday." She caressed my cheek. She then cupped my face with her both hands. "I am sure he will take it back someday. You're going to grow up more beautiful and all the boys will fall for you. Then, you'll find your own Prince Charming. That Yuri will become so jealous, he'll regret this day."

"Are you sure?"

She had a hand-mirror on the side. She pulled it out and made me look at us on it. "Look how pretty we are, right? It will happen."

"I'm gonna grow pretty too? Just like you?"

"Of course. You are my daughter so you will be so beautiful someday."

"Okay."

She kissed my cheek which had me giggled, "You are really so cute." She then showered me kisses as she hugged me tightly. 

"Mommy, stop it." I hugged her back and kissed her cheek, "I love you so much, mommy. Thank you."

"I love you so much too. Pinky promise me, whatever happens, you're never going to hide anything from me, alright?"

"Why would I hide anything from you?"

She pouted, "Well, if you grow up, you might become distant from me. You're not going to kiss me anymore. You're not going to share what's going on with you anymore."

I chuckled, "You're silly, mommy. That will never happen."

"Pinky promise?"

I giggled, "Pinky promise."

She then caressed my hair. "I love you so much, my Jessica. Always remember that."

"Will it never change?"

"It will never change." She hugged me tightly again and kissed my cheek so hard. "I love you so much."

"I love you so much too, mommy. Oh so much."

---

I opened my eyes. I felt my cheeks were wet from my tears again. The pain of the heart has struck me immediately as I realized I am back to the present.

It was a beautiful dream. It was one of the moments when I was young that my mom was there for me, consoling me and cheering me up. She had always been there for me. She was always the one I ran to if I am sad or troubled. She always protected me. She had always taken good care of me.

I sat up. I am breaking down in so much tears again. I cried my heart out, calling her out. I am hopelessly hoping she'll answer back.

Why?

Why did this happen?

I miss my mom. 

I really miss my mom so much.

I want to be with her. I want to be back with her.

I calmed myself a little. I went to fix myself up. I took a hot bath. It was to the point it almost burned my skin. I wanted to feel another kind of pain. Yet, the pain inside my heart was still even worse.

It's the early morning of Sunday. It's the start of another day of torture. It is another day of suffering. I have lost all the hope to look forward to as days go by. 

I wanted to drink but I ran out of liquor. All I see in my apartment are just empty bottles. Some of them were shattered.

I knelt and took a piece of broken glass. I started to cut my wrist again. I was not successful. Even with the sleep, I have no strength to drive the broken glass in my wrist.

There's another way. There's got to be another way.

I glanced at the window. That's when I realized what I supposed to have done long ago.

---

I am now at the rooftop of my apartment building. I climbed the very edge of it. Right. This is the right thing to do. I am going to end my life to be with my mother. This time, I am going to die for good.

I decided to fall on my back. I want to see the sky before my death.

I looked up. The sun is already rising. With the sight, the pain has seeped through me again. The pain had me broke down again. I started to sob and cry. I was holding on to my chest.

I have to end my life. There's nothing left for me to stay. My mom has passed. My dad is about to face a death sentence. I have no one else. Even... even Taeyeon... he's gone. The Taeyeon I knew has died long ago.

I closed my eyes. I smiled as tears rolled down my eyes. "Mom. I'm going to be with you soon..." I uttered.

I guess this is goodbye.

"What are you doing?" someone uttered.

I opened my eyes. It was a guy with deer-like eyes. He was a bit familiar but I didn't really know who he is. Yet, I am aware I am alone out here. I didn't even hear his footsteps.

"I'm going to jump." I said back.

"Why?" he asked innocently. It's like as if he's not trying to stop me. He just wanted to know why.

"It's none of your business."

I turned to face away. Screw the sky. I'm just going to jump normally.

"My baby. Get down here." he said.

That had me a bit agitated. How dare he call me his baby?

I turned my head to look at him. Still, he was staring at me with so much innocent eyes. He was smiling a bit too. And, yes, he's starting to get on my nerves now.

"I'm sorry, baby. Just get down here. Let's fix us."

"Don't ever call me baby! Just leave me alone!"

I looked away again. Then he shouted, "Wait!"

"What?!"

"Don't jump. Please... For me."

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