Angst, romance, school AU, one-shot

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

The girly laughs were echoing against the light pink walls, the comforting scent of different coffee-based drinks was lingering in the room as you and your friends sat on the floor, talking carefreely about anything. A pillow was tucked under your arms while you listened attentively to Joyce who was currently speaking about one of her adventures with her boyfriend. A girl's night had always been one of the best ways to relax after a week of only exams. With the snow falling slowly on the outside and the Christmas decorations already hanging on the trees, you finally felt like you let out the big breath that you had been holding for days. The evening had been fun until your friends suddenly got curious about you and your boyfriend. You had been the only one keeping quiet about your relationship that night, you understood why they were curious, yet you weren't the type of person that felt the need to brag about your boyfriend.  Their eyes were big, sparkling question marks pointing at you, nervously, your feet shifted in front of you.

"Well?" Lyn chimed, "How far have you gone?" after she said those words you felt like their eyes were eating you up, sweat started gathering on your forehead as your lips formed into a thin line. Although she hadn't specified what she meant, everyone in the room knew exactly what Lyn had been referring to.  

"What do you mean?" You knew it yourself that the question was useless, but for some reason, you were dreading to answer it.  Your hands were clamped together on the pillow now resting on your legs.

"It's obvious, have you done it?" It seemed like you weren't going to avoid the question, after all. Your friends were like hungry stray dogs when it came to these kinds of topics, they'd do anything to get deep into each other's business.

For some reason, your heart was trembling in your chest, almost like you were fearing their reaction. Nervously, you scratched the back of your head, they could see how uneasy you were feeling but none of them said anything to let you stay in your comfort zone. 

"Well- you know, we haven't really gone that far yet." The sentence rolled slowly off your tongue as you from under your lashes watched your friends' reaction. A slight feeling of relief washed over you when you noticed that their reaction wasn't as dramatic as you had expected it to be, kind of, their words made up for it.

"Wow, I didn't expect that," Lyn sounded genuinely surprised about what you had just said, the other girls had similar expressions on their faces.

"But wait, haven't you been together for almost a year now? " Lisa barged, her eyebrows furrowing together the more she thought about it, "Doesn't he want to do it?" That didn't fail to fire some questions inside of you, your relationship with Baekhyun had never been too romantic, of course, you sometimes kissed and shared nice moments, but you took it at your own pace and until now you hadn't had a reason to mind it.

"I-" You didn't know how to answer her, you had no idea what went through Baekhyun's head.

"I actually don't know, we haven't really talked about it." Lisa and Lyn looked at each other with bewilderment, as if they couldn't believe what you had just said..

"Girl, does he even see you as a woman at this point?" The throbbing feeling in your heart was back at the same time as millions of thoughts and unanswered questions filled your head,  you had never considered the fact that maybe you hadn't done it because Baekhyun didn't find you appealing enough. How could you know? Did he see you as a woman?

"I don't think Baekhyun-”

"I mean, a year is pretty long you know?" Your friend interrupted, giving you another thing to think about. It was true, you had been together for long enough to have gone that far in a relationship, plus the fact that you had known each other since the childhood days added to it. Were your friends right? They obviously had a different attitude towards relationships than you, but what if Baekhyun really didn't find you appealing enough? Was it your looks? Or perhaps your body? Or maybe he just hadn't felt ready for it?

After a few discussions with yourself, you came with the conclusion that your friends were indeed exaggerating, they couldn't just speak for Baekhyun like that, you knew that he loved you, he had shown that to you a good amount of times.

"Don't be like that, I'm can't be the only one that hasn't done it, right?" You relied on the fact that your friends had frequented their partners for a shorter amount of time, but when they both looked away with flushed faces you understood that you were indeed a couple of steps behind. It made no sense to feel the way that you were at the moment, disappointed and left out? You didn't understand why you would even be bothered by the fact that they had already become so intimate with their lovers. For some reason, the more you thought about it, the less you were able to convince yourself.

"Just let them be, Y/n, your relationship doesn't base on those things." Suzy finally spoke up against the other two girls. The words felt great to hear, but at the same time, you couldn't ignore the weird lingering pain your chest. 

The pillow reappeared between your arms as you tightened them around it, you let a weak smile grace your lips.

"It's okay, let's just talk about something else," You waved away the weird tension that was starting to build up. This was supposed to be a great evening where you could have fun and relax, but now it seemed to become the complete opposite.

                                                            ***

The morning air was chilly and you could see how your warm breaths formed into small clouds as you exhaled, the sky was still dark but it wouldn't be long before the sun eventually rose up. Your hand was intertwined with Baekhyun's while you walked to school, both taken away by a never-ending silence. Normally, walking in the snow with your boyfriend was something that would make your heart swell with excitement but you couldn't say that you were feeling as eager to talk with him today as you normally would.

Your friend's words from the evening before lingered in your thoughts and no matter how hard you tried, there was no use, they would eventually wander back to you with the purpose to make you doubt. Worrying about being appealing enough or no