I Don't Wanna Live Anymore

HEALING LOVE ©
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Today is the last day of her CSR volunteeering activity in Gangwon Province. ShinHye can't wait to be back to Seoul. It has been a week since she last met and talk to MinHo. Since the are she working at is an outskirt village and near mountainous area, connection is poor she is unreachable most of the time. She only get wifi connection at the hostel she is staying and she can only check her messages at night. So far, there are no messages from MinHo. The only messages flooding her timeline is from her bestie, So Eun. 

 

Ever since she left Gangwon, she keep checking on her phone but still no messages nor missed called from MinHo. She started to feel worried about it. She is afraid if something bad happened to him. 'He must be very busy with work till he forget to message me. Relax ShinHye, all is fine' she monologue to herself trying to calm herself. She take a nap as she start to feel dizzy. As fas she knows, this is the first time she get sick riding on a bus. Normally she don't feel light headed riding on a long journey by bus. Maybe she feels like that as she skip breakfast this morning, so she thought. 

 

After 3 hours journey she reached her university compound. As soon as she reached the ground, she quickly run to the wash room as she feels like vomitting. She practiaclly empties out her stomach. She asked So Eun and JaeRIm to help fetch her from the university as she is  not feeling so well and So Eun rightaway asked her boyfriend to drive to Ehwa once she get a called from ShinHye. 

 

So Eun and JaeRim arrive after 30 minutes  and they find ShinHye sitting on a bench at the university's garden waiting for them. She looks very pale and weak. So Eun rush to her and she is very worried to find her in that state. "ShinHye ya, gwenchana?" Shin Hye just nods slightly before she covered and walk fastly towards the toiley, So Eun follows behind her and as soo as she enters the toilet, she vomit again. She has been vomiting a lot till there is nothing that she can throw up anymore. "ShinHye ya, what happened? Do you eat anything bad?" So Eun rub her back to soothe her a bit. 

"I don't know? I have been vomiting and my head feels dizzy since morning. This is already the 3rd time I throw up." she answered weak.

"What did you eat today?"

I just had bibimbap at the rest area during lunch just now. But I don't think the food is bad coz the other girls who eat it seems fine. Only me. Maybe because I skipped my breakfast so I had an upset stomach." 

So Eun put her hand on her neck and forehead to check her temperature. She seems not having any fever. "Let's go home and rest. I'll buy you some medicine and I'll cook for you." She holds on to SHinHye and walks her to the car. 

Jae Rim who wait near the car also is worried looking at how weak ShinHye is. "Are you ok, ShinHye?" 

"She's not well. Send us home." So Eun put ShinHye at the back seat before moving to the front seat. "Can we top by at the pharmacy later oppa? I need to get medicine for her." 

JaeRim nods and he drives off leaving the university and heading towards their house. Before reaching their house area he stop by at the pharmacy as So Eun needs to get some medicine. He helps to carry ShinHye inside the house and put her on the sofa. "Take care of her. I'll call you later. If she is worsen, just call me and we bring her to see a doctor." 

"Nae, oppa. Sorry I can have dinner with you." So Eun initially have plans to have dinner with him but ShinHye really needs her so she have to cancel the plan. Luckily JaeRim understands and he also is worried about ShinHye. 

After her boyfriend left, So Eun checks for ShinHye. She puts the pillow under her head to make her comfortable. Then, straight away she goes to the kitchen and made her some porridge. She continue to check on her best friend while cooking. 

About an hour later, ShinHye woke up and slowly she walks to her room to clean up. "Gwenchana? I can help you to the bathroom." So Eun offers to help. 

"It's ok, So Eun ah. I feel a bit better. Let me clean up first."

"Let's eat after you clean up. I already made porridge for you. You need to eat something before taking the medicine." 

Though sometimes ShinHye thinks So Eun acts too much like a mother to her but she is thankful she has a concern friend like her. In times like this where she is too weak at least there is someone take care of her. 

 

Half an hour later, ShinHye comes out from her room already shower and change to fresh clothes. She looks a bit better but still pale. She walks slowly to the dining table and So Eun quickly prepares her dinner. She put the porridge she cooked at few others side dishes. "So Eun ah, is there anything sour inside the fridge, orange maybe.I need something sour to kill the nauseaus feeling inside my throat." 

So Eun open the fridge and luckily there are still 2 oranges left. She cut the fruit and serve it to her. ShinHye eats the orange first before eating the porride. So Eun find it weird as ShinHye not really a fan of sour things. She is not really a fan of oranges or lemon but she is eating the orange deliciously just now. She doesn't even grimace her face as usual when she had something sour. 

"I don't know what happen to me. I never feel so dizzy and nauseaus like this. This is the first time. I even had motion sickness riding on the bus just now." she told So Eun. So Eun listen carefully to her explaination then something came to her mind after seeing ShinHye change of appetite.

"SHinHye ya. Have you got your period this month?"  ShinHye almost spit out her porridge when she bluntantly ask about her menses. She just shook her head without thinking any further. Then So Eun took something from inside the pharmacy bag and put it in front of her friend. "Go and have a check. I know you already sleeping with MinHo. Just have a check because I think you might be pregnant." 

"How do you know that Minho oppa and I..." 

"I have a boyfriend SHinHye ya. And when you started to spend weekends at his house and event overnight there, do you think I am that naive? I am not judging you because almost everyone do it before marriage nowadays. But just have a check." 

ShinHye took the test kit and still not sure to do it or not. She then realized she already missed her period for more than a week. Reluctantly, she did the test. It is the longest 3 minutes wait in her life. So Eun wait for her outside the bathroom. She came out a while later looking blank then she pas the test kit to So Eun. So Eun takes a look at it and there are positive sign on the kit. Her eyes widen and open widely in shock. "OMG, Shin... you are pregnant." SoEun doesn't know how to react. Either to be happy or sorry coz ShinHye just stand there stoic like a statue. "SHinHye?"

ShinHye turns at her. "I'm pregnant. I can't believe it that I am pregnant." 

So Eun brings her to sit at the sofa. "Calm down. I know you are still shock but let's calm down first." 

"Suddenly ShinHye smiles at the worried So Eun. "I am pregnant So Eun ah. I am carrying MinHo oppa's baby. It's like a miracle as we do it with protection most of the time." 

"So Eun crease her brows "So, are you happy?"

"I don't know. I am happy to know that I am pregnant with Minho oppa's baby but I am worried too. Talking about MinHo oppa, did he ever called or message you." 

"Why should he called me when he knew I was not with you?" So Eun is weird with her question. 

"The reception area at GangWon is so bad so I am afraid he can't reach me. Who know if he cannot reach me, he might call you to ask about me. You are my best friend."

"I am your best friend not your PA who reports to you or you need to reports to me every now and then." So Eun is quite blant with her words and jokes, but she is very kind. That's why SHinHye feels comforable befriended her. "So are you going to tell Minho about the baby?"

"Gereom. Of course. He needs to know and I can feel he must be happy because he loves kids." ShinHye sounds excited. 

So Eun is happy for her but somehow she has this instinct that probably something will not go as ShinHye's way. It's just her intuition. 

 

 

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Minho's schedule has been so hectic for these past one week. Besides acting class he also needs to go to personality class in shich he is taught on how to handle the reporters, how to answer interviews, how to dress up to different occassion, how to handle what to upload in social media, and so on. In short a celebrity can't do what ever he pleased. Everything need to be done in caution as celebrities are public figures. To tops that everyday he has to attends auditions. He has 2-3 auditions he needs to attend daily. Nowadays, he can only sleep 3-4 hours. His days starts very early and he only return home at the crack of dawn. He doesn't even had time to check his phone. All calls and messages are handled by his manager. 

Today, his schedule finish a little bit earlier than usual. They reached home before midnight. MinHo now live in a aprtment complex in Gangnam near to his agency. They move him there since the first day he become the artist of the agency. he and his manager are enjoying beer at the balcony watching the night view of Gangnam. 

"MinHo-ya. Have you done what Miss Jang ask? I mean, breaking up with ShinHye?" Dong Chul, his manager ask him while they drink beer. 

"Of course no, hyung. You know I will never break up with her. That idea is just crazy." he replied to his manager. He can share everything with him because he is understanding. 

"But, you don't even call or message her to explain the situation you are in. You just leave her hanging without answer like that."

"She will understand hyung. I am sure of it. All this while she has been so supportive about my dream of becoming an actor. And I am so sure, she will not stop me from achieving my dream. She definitely will understand why I did this. It's not long, hyung. I will work hard in this 1-2 years and I will get her back and date publicly." 

DongChul not really agree with his actions but he can't say anything because that is his relationship, his choice. He just hope ShinHye really does understand his situation tho he doubt it. He has been asking him to call her and explain but he refuse. In his defend, if he hear her voice her can't focus and execute his plan. He love her but he love his ambition too. For now because he has got the chance to fulfill his dream, he going to focus on it. Once he reached for his dream, he will later focus on his love life. 

 

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The next morning, ShinHye ask So Eun to accompany her to the clinic. She wants to go for a confirmation check up on her pregnancy. She wants to be 100% sure she is pregnant before

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liltash85
Finally, after 4 long months, I manage to give you an update.
Hope you love it. Please do not forget to l eave a comment.
I am waiting for your response
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Jrosario11 #1
Chapter 16: Please authornim update I always read this story because its very nice. Now I fall inlove to JCW❤ PSH.
Jrosario11 #2
Chapter 16: Authornim please continue this story it's very nice there are lesson to be learn. We love you and we will support you in all your stories😍💖🙏
Athena66
#3
Chapter 33: Thanks dear...I will follow you anywhere
erlyta #4
Chapter 33: Again i come to read this story once more time...never fail to amazed me...i really really miss this story...
bgaspar23 #5
Chapter 22: Re-read for how many times... I really miss this story, still waiting for your update please author-nim. I read 2 story PSH and JCW the same nice,but this story is much better amazing story💖💖💖
erlyta #6
Chapter 33: I really miss this story a lot...still wait for your update
vn00700 #7
Chapter 33: Thank you for the update dear. I have the wattpad account and have started following you. Please continue the good work. Allt he best for the future endeavours. Hoping to see the next chapter soon...
trinashinwon
#8
I miss changwook and shin hye. Hoping for update soon?
bgaspar23 #9
I read all the chapter before I write my comment... authornim your story is very nice i like it very much, every chapter you write is so beautiful waiting for your update. FIGHTING!!!
rachellekeningaran #10
Chapter 33: we will wait for your update authornim., Always stay safe., ?