I wasn't supposed to update but...damn it

Open Book

I must’ve been reading the wrong book

She’s an over thinker and a pessimist and she loves wearing bright colored shirts. I’m an over thinker and I live for black and white shirts.

She’s a ball of fluff, and I can be intimidating.

Chaeyoung would jump around with her pastel oversized sweaters and shorts, smile at everybody, and she doesn’t seem to lose energy when she’s talking to other people. But she doesn’t just show me the rainbows in her life, she shows me the dark ones as well, whenever her world would suddenly lose its color.

She’s a social butterfly, and I was socially selective. At first, I didn’t understand. How can someone who smiles a lot and is basically everybody’s friend be depressed and lonely? How come when she’s telling me stories about her life, the colourful ones I’ve observed are actually grey and monotonous for her?

“The more people I have around me, the lonelier I get. Just…that feeling doesn’t seem to leave me, except when I’m with you.” Chaeyoung mumbled against my shoulders. She had her arms around me, since she’s quite taller than me. 

“Then I’ll be with you, always.” It’s a promise that I’m uncertain if I can keep, but it’s also a promise that I know, would put her heart at ease. 

She easily gets jealous, and I rarely do.

She was insecure, and I rarely think about those things.

She was always scared that I would leave her, but I tell her how much she means to me.

“I’m sorry. I was just—- the way she looks at you—- she makes me feel small.” Chaeyoung covered her face with her hands. She does this all the time and I think it’s cute. She’s a cute human being who deserves the whole world.

“But you’re taller than her. You’re about…5 cm taller.” I joked, and only got a pout from the girl in front of me. I took it as a sign to give her a peck on her lips, which definitely removed that pout on her face and was replaced with her beautiful smile. I’ll do anything to see that smile.

“Chaeng. How she looked at me, that’s how I look at you. You mean a lot to me, while I barely even know her. Just know that you have my heart on your hands.” 

A lot of people find her too much to handle. They tell me she’s too clingy, jealous, possessive, sensitive, annoying. Every bad adjective they could say, I’ve heard it all, but I didn’t listen. Not because I was blinded, but because they don’t know Chaeyoung. They thought I was too good for her, but I think she’s too good for me. They said Chaeyoung was too broken that I wouldn’t be able to fix her, but they didn’t know that I was the one who was hopelessly broken, I was the one who needed fixing, and nobody but her was able to glue the small pieces of my broken self all together. 

“So I went to——“ Chaeyoung talked about her day but her words doesn’t get to my head as I started tuning it out. 

We had our defense for our research earlier and it didn’t go well as planned and it’s definitely stressing me out as we have to present it again. 

“Is there something wrong?” I must’ve been too open with my expression that Chaeng noticed. 

I sighed, closing my eyes. “I’m tired, I just need a break.”

“From me?” Chaeyoung’s tone, the tone she uses when she’s hurt, made me flutter my eyes open and see her biting her lip. I quickly scooted over, placing my arms around her.

“No, if anything, you’re all I need when I’m tired.” It’s true, actually. She makes my worries and stress go away most of the time. Chaeyoung is the home I look forward to after a long terrible day at school.

Chaeyoung always hesitated, but she doesn’t know that I notice. No matter how many times I tell her that she’s one of my priorities, she still feels like she’s bothering me. 

My phone vibrated and I quickly answered it. “Hey Rosie, what’s up?”

There was a pause on her line before she spoke. “Nothing…Have you eaten already?”

“Yup. You?”

“I just finished.”

“Mmm…”

“I just wanted to know that you didn’t skip dinner again.” She giggled, which instantly made me smile. It was one of the sounds I loved the most. 

“I didn’t, mom. After you've scolded me the other time, I never skipped a meal.”

“Good kid. I’ll hung up now, goodnight.” I don’t know how, but I knew she was smiling, and that’s the only thing I need for me to get a good night sleep.

“Mm…Goodnight. Dream of me.”

“Don’t dream of anybody else but me!” Chaeyoung shouted, although she was half joking. 

“I’ll wake up the moment somebody else appears on my dream.”

“I love you.