Then and back again

Going counterclockwise

 

 

Fridays are one of the 2 days ______’s dad comes home early, and by early it means 9 o’clock in the evening. It’s no surprise that _____ would still be sitting at the sofa, along with her mom, waiting for him to arrive. She had to tell her dad about the reward she got from school.

 

When the door creaked open, a smile spread on _____’s lips as she stood up and welcomed her dad.

 

“_____, can you go to your room first? Your mom and I need to talk.” Her dad smiled, but _____ knew that it was half hearted. She looked at her dad longer, and observed the lines present on his forehead. It wasn’t there last time she saw him. People do age fast, especially when all they can think of are problems and work.

 

______ nodded, slowly tearing away her eyes from her dad, glancing at her mom, then to the brown envelope her dad was holding. Each steps she took were slow and hesitant, she could feel that there was something wrong.

 

Of course ______ wouldn’t be an obedient child and go straight to her room. She hid behind the walls and observed her parents, peeking through a small gap.

 

A brown envelope was placed at the dining table. _____’s parents stared at it, both sighing. 

 

“You only need to sign the papers.” _____’s dad said in a low husky voice, obviously tired from work, this family, life generally, or maybe just tired from everything.

 

It didn’t take _____ long to realise what was inside the envelope.

 

She knew that one day, her mom and dad would eventually separate, she had expected this all along and of course, she did all that she can to prevent it from happening, but it was already in front of her eyes: the papers that once signed, her fantasy of a picture perfect family will be ruined.

 

It was expected. Everybody in their family expected this to happen. Who wouldn’t when the married couple never had time for each other. _____’s mom was always busy handling their sky rocketing business, while her dad is busy constructing buildings and creating blueprints for never ending building projects. However when they do see each other, small talks that used to be so sweet and filled with love always ends with a fight. It started with small little fights, it always does, and then they’d be shouting at each other, a certain name somehow always find its way to come out of the argument: Jisoo. 

 

The man in his navy suit and loose black necktie massaged his temples. The married couple sat at the dining table, in front of each other, three sheets of paper separating them.

 

“I don’t want this. But if this is what you really want, then I can’t do anything about it anymore.” Jennie, _____’s mom, hesitantly picked up the fountain pen, her eyes not leaving the paper that was only waiting for her signature.

 

“This wouldn’t happen if you don’t think about that girlfriend of yours anymore. That girl went away long ago but she’s still the one you think about.” _____’s dad spat, with venom in his voice. ______ was already sick of hearing that name every time her parents fight. Jisoo. Was she really her mom’s girlfriend? The idea didn’t quite made sense to her since her mom married her dad, which means that her mom is straight.

 

“I told you countless of times already! Jisoo is my best friend for god’s sake!” Jennie’s eyes sent daggers to the man in front of her, slammed the pen after she finished signing the papers.

 

“Best friend.” The man scoffed, shook his head, took the papers, and left. _____ wondered when she’ll see him again, or rather, will she see him again.

 

Quiet sobs awoken _____ from her thoughts. The latter went to her mom and saw her crying. It broke her heart. _____ hated it whenever her mom cries after an argument, she hated to see her weak and vulnerable. 

 

“Mom,” ______ called, hugging her mom, while her tears slowly fell as well.

 

Once the two of them calmed down, _____ asked in a small voice, “Mom, do you still love dad?”

 

“Of course, ______. Your dad just can’t see that.” Jennie her daughter’s hair. The fact that she didn’t hesitate to answer made _____ know that she’s telling the truth. She needed to know the truth.

 

That night, _____ couldn’t sleep. She stared at the frame in which she, her mom, and dad, smiled with their hearts. Maybe it was the happiest time of her life. At least the picture can preserve the love that has eventually gone astray.  At least the picture could freeze time and capture that moment forever. 

 

A sudden rush of anger took over her. “This is all that ’s fault.” ______ clenched her fist, and with furrowed eyebrows and mind with nothing but anger, she got out of bed and went to the basement to look for the album which contained her mom’s childhood photos. 

 

Jennie showed it to her before, and ______ could still remember how the girl named Jisoo, who apparently destroyed her family, looked.

 

_____ opened the huge clear box which contained all the old stuffs, and dug through the pile to see the photo album. 

 

Once on her hands, _____ took out all the pictures which had Jisoo’s face on it and start tearing them apart like a mad woman, stopping when she thought that burning it would be better. 

 

She started looking for a match at several boxes, only to find a leather box. The box was standing out of the rest, which made ______ curious as to what the box might contain. She took out the lid and saw a palm sized circular device that almost resembles a compass. The box also contained some papers, which _____ picked up, along with the device. She read through the paper and read out loud: Blueprint for Time Machine

This was definitely one of her dad’s projects. _____ figured that it can either be really dumb or really smart, she hoped for the latter. 

 

Taking the box to her room as well as the pictures she was supposed to burn was probably the best idea, considering that it was a bit eerie down the basement. 

 

The time machine was what made ______ busy and distracted for the day, especially that it was summer, which means she had nothing better to do other than pitying herself for not having a complete family. 

After taking a good night sleep last night, she was oddly ready to take on some science and engineering s. 

 

A black hole has a strong gravitational pull and offers a one-way journey to nowhere, but according to general relativity, a rotating black hole could create a wormhole — a theoretical link between two points of space-time. 

That is what’s needed: a wormhole, that will serve as a portal to the past. However it isn’t simple, well science had never been simple. In order for one to go to the past and back to the ‘present’, if there’s an ‘entrance’ there would need to be an ‘exit’ or way back as well. To travel through a wormhole, it would need an exotic matter, which generates anti-gravity, which in turn, generates negative energy.

 

Based on what _____ read from the papers, that was were the device comes handy. It’s impossible to have a blackhole, unless you go to space and look for one, which is why the ‘Time Machine’ was built to ‘catch’ a wormhole, which pops in and out of existence at the quantum scale and is very, very small. That was where the problem arose back then. They couldn’t catch a wormhole. So it is up to _____ to do some fixing on the device, and wait for the device to catch a wormhole and inflate it to human scales.

 

1 Day. 2 Days. 3 Days. 4 Days. 4 days had already gone by after _____ finished rebuilding the Time machine and yet, nothing has happened yet. Right when she was starting to think that this was all just a waste of time, the palm sized device buzzed, causing her to slightly jump from her bed.

 

_____ hurriedly went to her desk and saw a very tiny black dot, floating in between of the two copper sticks.

 

“Oh my god.” _____ mumbled as she pressed a button that inflates the wormhole. Slowly, it got bigger until it was almost as tall as her.

 

Thinking that she shouldn’t waste anymore time or else the wormhole might disappear, _____ got her act together and went to the living room, where her mom was watching master chef.

 

_____ calmed down her racing heart before she sat calmly next to her Mother. “Mom, can you tell me something about your best friend? How did the two of you meet?” She tried to sound casual about it but earned a raise of an eyebrow.

 

“Jisoo? I thought you hate her.”

 

“Well, not really hate. I’m just curious.” 

 

Jennie pursed her lips and thought about it for a couple of seconds. “As far as I can remember… it was spring when we met at a music festival. I went there alone because your father didn’t want to come. Jisoo bumped into me while I was buying food. Oh! and she performed on stage. She’s a great singer.” She smiled at the memory that was long lost and almost forgotten.

 

“Oh… When was that?”

 

“That year was when your father asked me out, I was 17 back then… You calculate what year that was.” Jennie chuckled, patting her daughter’s head. 

 

“1993,” ____ mumbled. “Thanks mom.” She smiled then stood up from the couch.

 

“Welcome?”

 

“Oh. And mom,” _____ called before she went back to her room, or rather, to 1993.

 

“Yes _____?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too dear.” Jennie smiled at her daughter. She was quite proud of herself that she was able to raise her daughter well even with her being busy at work.

 

Thankfully when _____ went back to her room, the wormhole was still there. She grabbed her backpack and shoved some clothes and some snacks from her mini fridge. Just when she was about to reach for more things, the wormhole buzzed, causing her to panic and move quickly. 

 

After a couple of minutes, she finished packing all her things and then searched google for the exact date of the ‘music festival’ on 1993. 

She then put the date along with the place: April 4, 1993, Green Park, and stepped into the darkness, into the unfamiliar environment.

 

The booming beats thumped all throughout the park, which was decorated with colourful banners hanging from lamp to lamp. Several food stalls lined up at the right side, while people were dispersed, some dancing to the beat and others just chilling with their drinks while talking to their friends. There were people fixing the microphone at the stage, which means that the performance was just about to start. ______ was just in time.

 

_____ stood along with the crowd, definitely feeling out of place. Anybody can tell that she didn’t belong there, just by the way she dressed. Speaking of how people were dressed, ______ tried not to laugh at the fashion style of the people around her. Almost half of the people had at least one plaid piece of clothing paired with low-top doc martens, some were even wearing bodysuits and high wasted jeans paired with a thick leather belt. 

 

_____ ended up snorting at the fashion, but she remembered that she didn’t come to the ’90’s to criticise their fashion. _____ went on with her mission, walking around in search of her mom, the younger version. She took out her phone to familiarise herself on how her mom looked when she was on her teens. 

 

“What the hell?” ______’s eyebrows furrowed as she tried to open her phone. “Why isn’t it working?” She furiously pressed the power button, but it didn’t open. 

 

_____ sighed out of frustration. Thankfully she remembered that she brought a picture of her mom, as well as Jisoo. 

 

With the picture on her hands, _____ walked around the park, hoping to see her mom or at least that ‘’. 

 

The first performer, which was a band, slowly made their way at the centre of the stage. However, _____ still haven’t spot her mom nor Jisoo. Just then, she remembered that her mom told her that she met Jisoo when she was buying food. 

 

Not wasting any second, _____ ran where the food stalls were lined up, and looked for her mom. 

 

Fortunately, her eyes spotted her mom, who was queuing for a taco. _____ sighed in relief when she saw that she was alone, which means that she haven’t met Jisoo yet.

 

Speaking of the devil. Her eyes widened when she saw Jisoo running, looking at her watch. In panic, _____ ran as fast as she can, and stood in front of Jisoo, who wasn’t looking ahead. 

 

Jisoo collided with _____, but thankfully, none of them fell because of the impact. She and Jisoo stared at each other. _____ was extremely relieved that she successfully prevented Jisoo form bumping into her mom, Jennie.

 

______ crossed her arms and looked the girl in front of her from head to toe. “Oh. So you’re that , huh?”

Jisoo immediately wore a frown with a matching glare. “What?! Did you just call me ?!”

 

______’s eyes widened. She wasn’t supposed to say it out loud. “I mean, the that I love! Yeah, that’s right. I love you.”

 

“W-what are you talking about?” The flustered Jisoo was taken aback by the sudden ‘confession’ from a stranger.

 

“I told you, I love you.” A smirk appeared on _____’s lips, although she was already panicking after she just got herself into a weird situation.

 

______ was going to leave but she thought that what if Jisoo still meets Jennie later? Which is why she decided to pull Jisoo with her, as far as possible from Jennie.

 

“Wait. Where are you taking me?”

 

“To hell.” 

 

“What?!” Jisoo stopped walking, pulling her arm from ____’s grip.

 

_____ laughed when she saw Jisoo’s glare. “I was just kidding.” 

 

Now that her ‘mission’ is completed, _____ was about to leave when Jisoo stopped her. “And where are you going?”

 

“Nowhere.” 

 

“You can’t just leave after confessing to me. You’ll stay here till my performance is over.” Jisoo demanded, before walking to the backstage to prepare for her song.

 

But of course, _____ isn’t an obedient dog. Once Jisoo turned her back, she also turned around and walked away to look for a place where she can use her time machine discretely.

 

She haven’t even taken 20 steps when a guy bumped into her, causing her to stumble and loosen her grip on the time machine, which slipped from her hands and fell on the concrete ground, breaking into pieces.

 

_____ groaned as she bent down and pick up the pieces of metal on the ground. What irritated her more aside from the fact that she wouldn’t be able to go home just yet, was that the man didn’t even say sorry.

 

“Seriously? What’s with people bumping unto each other?” She mumbled to herself as she placed the pieces inside her bag, making sure that she didn’t lose any piece.

 

Growls of her stomach was heard when she passed by a small bakery just a couple of meters away from the loud music and crowd. _____ opened her bag for her wallet before she entered the bakery. 

Luck just wasn’t on her side. Her wallet wasn’t inside her bag, then she remembered that she placed it on her desk before she left and forgot to put it inside her bag. Now she’s doomed. 

 

“Oh my god. I didn’t think this through.” She didn’t have money to buy food and a cheap hotel to stay at. Although she did bring a couple of snacks with her, it wouldn’t satisfy her hunger for more than 2 days. 

 

Deciding that it would be best to work somewhere, _____ walked around the neighbourhood in search for a job. It didn’t matter whether she gets a job as a waiter, dishwasher, or even just someone who’ll watch over a shop. She only needed money and a place to stay at.

 

Searching for a job was indeed difficult. ______ already gave up and just decided to look around again the next day, when she saw a woman struggling to carry what it seemed like 7 plastics full of grocery stuffs. 

 

_____ walked over and offered help to the older woman, who awfully looked familiar to her. She swore she saw her somewhere.

 

“Oh! Thank you dear.” The older woman smiled warmly. ______ knew who it was. It was her grandmother. She was sure of it.

 

“I’ll help you carry this to your home.” _____ smiled brightly, very delighted to see her grandma, who’s not too old yet. 

 

The walk on the way home was very lovely. _____ and her grandma talked about a lot of things and ____ would joke a lot, which made the older woman very fond of her. Her grandma then asked what was she doing there and that her parents might look for her.

 

“They won’t. I ran away from home.” _____ lied. She had a plan on mind that’ll help her survive until she finished the machine.

 

“Why? It’s bad to ran away from your home. Your parents might be worried.” A crease appeared on the woman’s forehead.

 

“My dad was beating me up.” Nice lie. Grandma will surely pity me.

 

“Oh my! Dear, where are you staying right now? If you don’t have a place to stay, you can stay at my house if you like.” _____ rejoiced mentally, seeing how her plan worked. Now she has a place to stay.

 

“Really? Can I?”

 

“Of course dear.” The older