As the long time question finally answered, it didn’t seem wrong anymore to candidly think the person before him was actually beautifully breathtaking.

Siwon couldn’t lie about it. He was completely mesmerized. Anyone would probably have the same thought. It reminded him when he caresses the very soft brown hair while admiring the beauty sleeping soundly on his lap. Those days when he thought that Kyuhyun was actually his lover who turned out created the misunderstanding, masking the truth beneath those tears. He would never forget that day before he discharged himself from the hospital. At the same time Siwon who now knows the truth actually felt a little bit relieved that they were lovers. Was it wrong to feel so?

All these time the person that kept reappearing in his mind is Kyuhyun. The deep warmth he felt as he swam through the unfamiliar memories and the sparks of longing that kept reappearing at random times? Then what was the cause of their break up? How come he’s now married to Jessica but never seen his wife?

The winds are blowing their hair as their gaze still locked on each other. Thousands or maybe hundreds of petals that are scattered on the ground surrounds them as they dance their way around. The crisp scent somehow gave deep nostalgic feeling to Siwon and he wondered what part of memory he can’t recall yet has something to do with autumn. But no doubt it must have something to do with the person before him.

“Is that so…”

Kyuhyun slightly tilt his head looking as if questioning whether the thing he said was hard to be accepted. There was a slight disappointment on the latter’s face but for Siwon rather than hard it was easy as touching water on sea, it’s weightless and didn’t feel awful as he expected.

“Seems like you loved Siwon very much.” Siwon said, knowing the smile behind the other. Kyuhyun surprised, how could his loved one say that so easily? Those words successfully making Kyuhyun blush hard. He tried not looking obvious by looking away from Siwon which actually making things evident. “Maybe you still do.”

“…”

“No? The first time I asked who you were you said you are my lover.” It’s as if he wanted to make sure whether Kyuhyun still loves him.

Kyuhyun sighed, “I can’t help it. Things may change but some just don’t.”

Siwon somehow felt glad when Kyuhyun admitted it, even though it’s not direct. He felt like smiling. Why? Suddenly he felt a funny feeling in his chest. “Tell me one that doesn’t change.”

“One?”

Siwon nodded, “I want to know.”

“It’s just that I hate the fact I can’t ever lie to you.” Kyuhyun sadly smiles, “I guess anyone in my shoes would still love their loved ones too. Maybe I’ll fall out of it soon, just wait.”

“You sure?”

“What of?”

“That you’ll fall out of me soon.”

“I don’t know but I’ll try. I have to.”

Siwon stand up and approach Kyuhyun, stopping a few steps away from him. Confused by the act, Kyuhyun only look between his distance and Siwon’s the face that he truly no longer needs to keep looking at in order to remember.

“I can’t remember my past or knowing the slightest bit what I used to be like back then but I already told Heechul hyung everything. I’m lost and…needed his help but instead of telling me everything he said you know me better than he does and I should look up to you. The misunderstanding made me lose my trust in you but this time…I want to trust you again.”

“…”

“If you would let me, I want to learn everything about you again and also myself.”

Kyuhyun yet to say anything and raised his head at him while Siwon looking at the light brown eyes illuminated by the sun before him at ease.

“Let’s start over from where we first know each other.” Siwon doesn’t know why but he thought it’s the right thing to say.

“After that, go back like how we used to be?” Kyuhyun blurt absentmindedly.

Doesn’t he want that?

“We can’t.” Kyuhyun stated with a bitter smile and without doubt however for Siwon it sounds quite forced. It’s as if Kyuhyun is prepared if Siwon would ask that question. “You’re already someone else’s.” The eyes looking away didn’t go unnoticed by him. It was only one simple fact but after hearing that why does he suddenly feel irritated and hurt? Frowning, Siwon walk closer to Kyuhyun while the latter step back away from each step until his back hits the tree. Stopping at proper distance between them, Siwon bother not removing his gaze from Kyuhyun.

“It doesn’t feel right.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Is my marriage the real reason?”

“…”

“No, isn’t it?” Despite feeling irritated he managed to voice them calmly. “There’s more to what you said.” Somehow those words triggered Kyuhyun since his hands are trembling. Kyuhyun look at Siwon, eyes calm yet the surprise was evident.

The tears Kyuhyun been holding the moment Siwon appeared before him begin to fall from his eyes and he bit his lower lip refraining to sob but fail, ducking his head down letting more tears to fall. Siwon didn’t expect making Kyuhyun cry and his heart aches at the sight. Was he beginning to recall the emotion from the past? Was he like this too whenever he sees Kyuhyun crying? It hurts to the point that it’s tightening his chest.

Those who suffer from memory loss may not remember but the heart does its job differently. Our heart records every little details of our emotion. The mind may forget but our heart always remembers. It knows our true feelings and emotion.

To lie to our heart is the hardest thing to do.

“Hey…”

Siwon duck his head down to have a better look on Kyuhyun’s face. He doesn’t really know what he did next but in a second he found his hand on Kyuhyun’s cheek, his thumb wiping the warm tears away. Siwon feels Kyuhyun leaning against the touch. He had the urge to embrace him but he wonders if that’s the right thing to do. This déjà vu moment he remembered so much when Kyuhyun told what Choi Siwon means to him. Peculiarly his eyes feels warmer as if he’s about to cry soon.

Choi Siwon is important and Kyuhyun loves him very much. Siwon could see that palpably from the way Kyuhyun look at him.

“Don’t cry.”

Kyuhyun choked, sobbing while wiping his tears with the back of his hands however the tears keep flowing endlessly. That moment he decided to take Kyuhyun in his embrace and pat his back, soothing him from crying. He expected Kyuhyun to struggle but didn’t. Again, he doesn’t know what made him to suddenly sing lullaby quietly. Perhaps he used to do that whenever Kyuhyun cry. Somehow he found it adorable. A soft smile dominates his lips. Who would’ve thought he had a crybaby lover? But knew he made the right decision when in a few moment Kyuhyun went quiet, no longer sobbing.

Kyuhyun takes a step away breaking the embrace despite wanting to stay like that longer. He seemed disappointed when the longing warmth disappeared in an instant.

“I’m sorry.”

Whatever reason Kyuhyun has it must be something that made him said can’t instead of don’t want to.

Meanwhile far from where they’re standing two men are watching them attentively.

One with black suit has the most sincere smile plastered, showing off his perfect dimples while the other in brown sweatshirt lays a sad smile decorating his thin lips. Their caring eyes somehow refused to cease their gaze from the reunion scene – at the same time feeling the bitterness uprising.

“Flowers! Pink!” The small figure suddenly exclaimed in enthusiasm as she climbed down from the car seat to the ground – until her clumsy steps reaches the grass near the two figures – on the verge of stumbling.

The younger man heaves a soft chuckle as he took her small hand before she fell. “Flowers!” The girl repeated what she said in thrill while her hands reaching for the petals that descends from the striking cherry blossom tree.

“It should’ve been a happy one…” The older eyes still locked on them and his dimple seemingly not leaving his face.

“Their reunion?”

“They’ve been through a lot.” The young only hums as he kneels down – picking the cherry flower from the grass and tuck it on the child’s ear while placing the other on her hand. Her bright smile is contagious that he smiles too – still can’t replace the sorrow one. “They deserve better...

you too, Ryeowook ah.”

“I don't think I do."

"..."

"It’s been a roller coaster ride but I can’t really say I’ve been a lot as well.” Ryeowook sighed, turning his head at them. “They’re the ones who do. I agree with you, they deserve better. The pain, if I were in their shoes I’m not sure whether I could handle it properly.”

“You always helped them.” Jungsoo heaves a small smile.

“Because I feel the need to, not because they wanted me.” Ryeowook said softly, picking up the child carefully and holding her fondly in his arms. “Do I really deserve better? I wonder about that. I caused them trouble hyung.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“That time I should’ve listened to you.”

“…”

“Let’s see… What’s the treat for our Jinae today?” Ryeowook asked the little girl. “Ice cream? Chocolate?”

“Cheesecake!”

“Cheese…Cake? You ate one yesterday!” Jinae pouted, making Ryeowook sighed in defeat. “Alright, cheesecake for today.” Jinae squeal in happiness that she hugged Ryeowook before running back towards the car.

“She resembles you and Kyuhyun. When she grows up later, I’m not sure who she will really take after.” Nobody knows, Ryeowook thought. “Surely she’ll be a very beautiful lady.”

Ryeowook sighed, “She’s beautiful already.”

Jungsoo chuckled, darting between Ryeowook and the two figures ahead.

“Perhaps more beautiful, just like her mother.”