“I really want you to stay by my side here but… You’ve been staying here for almost a week while I know that….your family needs you. Go home and rest, don’t think much of me, I’ll be fine here by myself. I’m not a baby, I’m a grown up boy.”

“I don’t care.”

“Come on. Don’t say that…” He could feel the touch when the man pulls him by his neck and sticks their foreheads together. “Choi Siwon... Do this for me, please.”

The next thing he realized his arms were wrapped around this man whom face he can’t see, distortions of face and voice which brings the urge in him to swim more in the depth of his mind.

“Siwon…”

“You’re not leaving me.” It feels surreal, he could smell how sweet the vanilla scent on this man’s hair. “Don’t leave me… We can do this…”

“The pain…is unbearable…Is it? It really is Siwon…” The man sighs, patting him softly on the back. By the tone behind he’s aware that the man is smiling. “But...If the day of leaving you comes, I will leave with tones of regrets for not being able to stay with you any longer. But one thing that I would never regret is the memories I made with you. Us being together is something that I never believe …even until now… it’s one miracle that ever happened in my life.” Arms returned wrapping around him, shaky voice reaches his ears which slowly turns to sobs. “You always told me that everything will be okay…I want those words not only to protect me, but to protect both of us…”

“They will.”

“That’s what I want to hear…Thank you Siwon…Thank you..”

Sweats formed on his forehead comes down like drops of rain water. Eyes furrowed in his sleep while his mind is trying to reach more in the depths of his mind as the urge of it becoming greater and greater causing a sudden painful waves of headache to attack him, finally awaking him from his realistic dream which sends him a completely shivery sensation.

Uneven breaths made his chest painful, he tries to calm himself down before train of thoughts arrived in his mind station. Seeming to feel like the calming down session didn’t really fully work, he runs straightly to his bathroom and washes his face.

Staring right onto the mirror, he’s now faced with his own reflection. The more he tries to recalls his dream, the more he’s curious of the male figure that appeared in his dream. Who did he talked to? The way the male called his name was soothing enough to remember again, able to make his heartbeat that was beating so fast becomes normal. Within a blink, strangely he could feel a strike of tear trails down to his cheek.

What is he crying for now? He shouldn’t be. That was only a dream. Random people could come to dreams. But was it really, only a dream? It was pretty surreal that he could still feel the shivering and longing feelings when he’s woken from it. It could be one piece from his memories,

“Us being together is something that I never believe …even until now… it’s one miracle that ever happened in my life.”

Being together? They could be friends, the male could have been one important person in his life. Speaking of miracle? He couldn’t understand what he saw, but one thing that appears on his mind was, they could be more than that. Eyes never leaves the mirror that reflects him crying, his inner feelings are fighting to stop this unreasonable, inevitable tears.

No matter how much he tries, that small effort seemed like a waste.

“Who are you?”

Siwon didn’t get to sleep after that as he wasn’t able to sleep after such dream came. After a warm bath he went straightly to the dining room to join his family for a breakfast. Turns out the only person that appeared to be in that dining room was his father.

He gives a warm smile as he takes his seat beside his father.

“My son? What’s with the early appearance today? Your brother hasn’t even come downstairs.” Mr. Choi said with amused tone which Siwon reply with only a smile. “How are you feeling now? You look better than the last time you were back to this house. It has been a while…Are you feeling any better now?”

“I feel better father.” Siwon simply said, not feeling slightly hungry as he thought he lost his appetite that early morning.

“I’m glad to hear that my son.” Mr. Choi said, smiling. “Siwon ah…So I was thinking…I was thinking of taking you out for some refreshments this afternoon. Do you feel like it? I won’t force if you’re not feeling like it my son. Perhaps I could take you to our company for you to see how it has been doing ever since your brother took your place temporarily?”

Siwon’s hand twitched. The company? Wasn’t everything seem to be moving a little bit too fast? He knows nothing of the company and yet his father wants him to be there? That’s when his inner reminds him that his father knows nothing of what really happened to him, he sighs in relief.

It wasn’t only his father who didn’t know anything about his true situation. His brother and his sister too, probably the mother figure he hasn’t seen ever since his comeback to the Choi household too. He knows he shouldn’t pretend and maintain any longer. It will worsen what he already experience, it will worsen as he pretends to know them well when actually he doesn’t know a thing about them at all. Even though by these Siwon was given the chance to know them bits by his own effort, something just doesn’t fit well. He needs someone who knows him by inside and out, who can guide him to return being the Choi Siwon that occupied one of the seat in Choi household.

But just a little bit longer, he needs to continue what he was doing.

“I’m sorry.” Mr. Choi suddenly apologized, it’s as if he noticed how his son reacts to that. “Take your time son.”

“No, father.” Siwon said, bracing himself for the risk he’s going to take. “…I want to see how the company improves. I don’t exactly know how Heechul hyung handles the company.” The dining room went quiet after Siwon lets out such sentence. He could see Mr. Choi was searching some other answers from his son’s eyes, which his son took it bravely not to averts his eyes from him.

“Alright.” Mr. Choi half smiles and gets off from the chair, ruffling Siwon’s hair before walking out from the dining room. “That settles. Don’t forget your appointment with me today my son.”

Siwon was perplexed by the sudden fatherly act from his father and a sudden waves of guilts rushes through him. Why? Wasn’t that what fathers supposed to be like? The never-ending pampers as their children grow up. No matter how much their children has grown into something more than what they had expected, no matter how great they are, in their eyes they are still some young-baby children who never grows up when it comes to their childishness, sensitive and selfish emotions.

“Oppa!” Siwon doesn’t know how long he had been staring into space that he doesn’t realize his sister was already seated in place opposite of his. “What are you thinking of?”

“Jiwon…It’s nothing. Don’t mind them.” Siwon smiles, trying to cover up the guilt that has been sticking on his face like a sticker. “Waking up a later than usual? No work today?”

Jiwon shook her head, pony tails hanged on her shoulder. She is indeed the twin of Siwon. Looking at her made Siwon to actually think that she was the girl version of him. “Nope, our office starts their renovation today. Probably I’ll be having a week holiday! It’s gonna be fun!” Jiwon starts to gobble up fruits, “You have a long break oppa, since Heechul oppa is the one who takes care of your company. Temporarily that is. What are you planning to do oppa? I’m staying over at my friend’s house. I told her I’d like to stay for a week there but she’s concerned of my family.” Jiwon sighed, smiling. “She told me I should spend more time with my family instead. She just doesn’t know how busy my family is.”

“I don’t know.” Siwon shrugs, “Maybe I’ll stay here? I don’t really have much plan for this…Long break.”

“Really?” Jiwon nods, “I agree. You should rest oppa.”

“I’m resting too much.” Siwon huffs a smile, “Besides, I may have a plan today with father.”

Kyuhyun takes a stop of walking in front of the brown house, looking like consist of three floors house. He rests his hand on the luggage’s handle as he takes a deep breath before pulling his luggage along while he walk towards the front door of the brown house. Before he had the chance to knock, the person behind the light brown front door opened the door and rushes to hug Kyuhyun tightly like a friend who hasn’t seen a friend in a hundred years.

“Minho!” Kyuhyun beamed and embraced the boy back.

“Is this real? Am I seeing things? You’re really here my friend!” Minho cried and squeeze Kyuhyun that the other wince in pain. Realizing what he had done, Minho release Kyuhyun and give him a welcoming pat on the shoulder. “I’m sorry…It’s been a long time buddy.”

“You would really cry for me huh?” Kyuhyun chuckled and ruffles his friend’s hair.

“Aish…What’s the point of just standing here… Come inside…” Minho sobs, wiping the invisible tears on his eyes with the back of his hands. As Kyuhyun hands were pulled by Minho, he can just smile and touched by how his buddy reacts after a long time being not seeing each other. Kyuhyun never thought time has long passed ever since his sudden move to incheon without paying goodbyes to his friends, but he was sure one day he would come to visit Seoul again.

Now here he is in Seoul, the place where his memories with Siwon still lays beneath the grounds, to attend his friend’s wedding whom he thought as his little sister.

“I was more than surprised to get your call the last two days that you’re planning to visit Seoul to attend Sooyoung’s wedding and asked whether or not you could stay at my house.” Minho said, smiling. “It was more surprising than those horror movies I’ve watched.”

Kyuhyun smiles back guiltily. “I’m sorry about this, I never plan to give you burdens.”

“Nonsense!” Minho declined and make Kyuhyun to sit on the sofa while he asks the maid to place Kyuhyun’s luggage in the guests room. “I’m always here whenever you need me. We are always here. Always remember that. We are best buddies aren’t we? Even after you left Seoul a few years back, we always believe that we would meet you one day, whether it’s us who visits Incheon, whether its you who visits Seoul. I’m sure everyone will be happy to see that you’re back here.”

Hearing such from Minho gives Kyuhyun the flashbacks moments of when they were back in high school as group who would go together everywhere. The memories that he would never forget stays deep within him, the memories of his friendship with his friends. He had this thoughts of regrets when he left Seoul for good without sending goodbyes to his friends. Who would’ve thought they actually waited for him? Kyuhyun sighs, preventing the tears to fall from his eyes as could feel tears begin to form in his eyes.

“You guys…Thank you...” Kyuhyun laughs as he finally chokes, inevitable tears starts to fall from his eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“Kyuhyun ah.” Minho tried laughing but instead the tears he’d been holding back begin to fall. He walks over to Kyuhyun and give his buddy a comforting hug. “Why the sorry…? You never did anything wrong to us. We may not know the exact reason why you move there… We never forced you to tell… You’re always a brother and a family to us… For whatever reasons you have there, you have our shoulders. ”

“Our Minho really never change at all. But you’ve grown up.” The more Kyuhyun hear those words, the more tears are falling. “I’m sorry, it shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t be this weak.”

“Everyone has their weak moments,” Minho said, patting his buddy’s back. “Yah, did you gain weight? You look like it. I guess I won’t be asking you to play games together and eat whatever snacks I have in my kitchen’s drawer...That’s right—” He continues as he pulls Kyuhyun to the guests bedroom where Kyuhyun will stay. “You will stay here. You can call the maid every time you need help with anything.”

Kyuhyun sighs, releasing another guilty smile, “Thanks Min.”

“Cheer up.” Minho sighs, forcing out a smile as he’s sensitive when it comes to face people’s emotional state. He is easily influenced by them. “Please don’t feel like a burden. You’re not. You’re my friend, I will always welcome you anytime.”

Kyuhyun knows what kind of person his friend is. Minho is the kind of friend who always refuses declination from his friends. He doesn’t like it when his friend would refuse what he gave. At that point Kyuhyun can only give a nod with still having the urge to tell his friend that this was too much. Minho already lets him stay temporarily in occasion of attending Sooyoung’s wedding, he is extremely grateful for that, he wouldn’t ever want to ask for more.

“Father bought you here?” Heechul raised an eyebrows as he takes a sit on the sofa opposite from his younger brother.

After Siwon and his father arrived at Choi’s company office, Siwon couldn’t take his eyes off to observe everything around him. It was true that he felt some familiarity as he first landed his feet in the office. Everything seems too familiar that flashes of random short scenes appeared on his mind that somehow appears to be his past memories.

Everyone in the office stared at him in awe that strangely doesn’t affects him at all. He kept his straight posture as the person in front of his father guided them to the CEO’s office. There were no talks nor interaction between the two blood related figure while they quietly follows as where the person guided them.

“Are you happy to be back here?” His father finally asked which Siwon reply with only a nod.

“In mean time your brother is taking care of your position.” His father explained shortly. “He’s been doing a great job for it, for once I am proud of him. It was always you whom I proud of, I never once have in mind that someday your stubborn brother might want to involve himself working for our family’s company. He got to built his own company and he charged someone to take his position temporarily too as he’s taking care of your position.” They finally stopped in front of the CEO office. His father gave him a short pat on his shoulder. “By that he could learn how to trust someone. As he’s your oldest sibling, I had to believe he has his own ways in making his future brighter.”

“Heechul hyung …did told me that he’s taking care of my position.” Siwon nodded.

“Get inside.” His father told him, “He’ll be in content to see you visiting the company.”

Now that he’s inside the office seated oppositely from his brother who’d been giving him a stare that he think the man has started to notice something, he could only stare back at his brother with guilty on his eyes.

“What do you think?” Heechul asks, now smiling at Siwon. “I told them to change these sofas since it looked quite old already. You like it? If you don’t you can change them back to the older one once you’re back to this position.”

“No, it’s fine.” Siwon said. “Father is happy that you’re willing to take my position, even it will only lasts for a while. He hasn’t mention anything about whether I should be returning soon.”

Heechul grunts as he rests his head on the back rest of the sofa. No words were spoken until Heechul takes a box from the drawer and put it on the table. “Let’s play puzzle.” Siwon raised his eyebrows, he thought of coming here to be filled with lectures of what has been going on with the company. But now his brother asked him to play puzzle?

“Why do you look surprised?” Heechul smirks and spill the puzzle pieces messily on the black glass table. “You always spill these in front of me whenever I visited your office. Now that I’m in your position, I shall spill these for my brother as a welcome back greeting.”

Siwon followed what Heechul wants, to play the puzzle game. He never saw the puzzle he’s playing before but strangely his body seems to know how to think fast to stick the puzzle pieces on each other pieces. He assumed what Heechul told him was right, he could be the one to always ask his brother for a puzzle game.

Even though he can’t control his mind to remember everything, it seemed like his heart remembers them.

“You’re not leaving me.”

“Thank you Siwon.”

He tried to brush of those voices from his dream by focusing on the puzzle game. But it seems that he couldn’t. The dream kept on replaying on his mind like someone who missed a movie scene so they keep on rewinding them.

“Actually, what I told you last week was a lie.” Heechul said, who on the other side fail to notice the uneasiness from his brother’s expression. “Jessica wasn’t on her vacation.”

The words from Heechul stopped Siwon’s hand from taking another piece of puzzle.

“Yet… you said she did told you she was on her vacation.” Heechul said as his eyes doesn’t leave from the half finished puzzle. The frozen reaction was expected from Siwon. “She didn’t even show herself in front of us ever since you left …Did you two decided to make a peace that you keep in contact with her while you were busying yourself at Incheon?”

Make a peace? Through what Heechul mentioned, what Siwon and the detective assumed was right, the two so called couple didn’t have a good term. Then what about when his brother mentioned Kyuhyun, whom the boy admitted himself to be a stranger who passed by when Siwon got into a car crash? Siwon takes another puzzle and sticks it to the other piece, “Why do you think I would make a peace when we never have a good term?”

By that Heechul stopped his movement and rest the puzzle he’s holding, placing it on the table with a click, unexpected by the answer. As if reading Siwon’s mind whose now filled with questions about Kyuhyun, his eyes finally averted to the figure of his young brother, “And you finally met Kyuhyun there. But..Just what was the reason that you suddenly went to Incheon to visit him?”

Siwon halts, subconsciously lifts his head and meet Heechul’s sharp eyes. Feelings of confusion begin to rush within his veins. He couldn’t decipher the mixed feelings he’s really feeling within himself.

To visit Kyuhyun?

Was that really the reason why he visited Incheon but got into a car crash instead?

“What?”