“You never mention anything of being famous.”

“It isn’t that important…That person said he’d mistaken me as another person he knew.” Kyuhyun’s laugh sounds like a song to Siwon. He helps him get to his bed, placing a comfortable pillow behind him and fixes his blanket. “Not all people know me. It’s just a coincidence that he came to ask such question. Have you eaten yet?” He asked.

Now that Kyuhyun is here, that lonely feeling fades. “Yes, why are you always ask me whether I have eaten or not?” Siwon chuckled.

“I’m just making sure that you eat your meal properly since I’m not here with you for the last five days.”

“It’s okay and don’t worry, I’ve been eating properly when you’re not here.” Siwon assured.

“That’s good.” Kyuhyun smiled. “That means you’ll be okay without me here then?”

Siwon frowns as he doesn’t like what Kyuhyun just said. He doesn’t understand what made Kyuhyun to said things like that out of blue. But one thing, he just doesn’t like it since somehow it gives him bad feeling. He mentally convinced himself that his illness is what connects him to these and that was just an effect. “Kyuhyun-ssi…” Siwon doesn’t know why all of a sudden he uses formality when usually he just called Kyuhyun casually. Even Kyuhyun who is arranging his own blanket for later was quite stunned.

“Yes?” Kyuhyun stopped.

“Never mind… It’s nothing.”

Donghae was right for having sense of familiarity with him. Kyuhyun knows Donghae, the detective and today wasn’t the first time he met him. But in front of Siwon, he lied. About a year ago, Kyuhyun had met Donghae once during the office celebration at the place where he used to work. They even had a short chat together because he had to attend meeting. His sudden appearance today at Incheon hospital shocked Kyuhyun. Just what made the man to visit the hospital?

From the couch, Kyuhyun stares at the black space breathing in and out silently that even the wall which has ears can barely hear it. Then he turns his gaze to the sleeping Siwon who were facing his back on him. He should have stayed at home for today and finished his work, but he prefers staying in hospital with Siwon to watch his recovery progress. He knows Siwon might not like it as the fact five days ago he were told to go back home because the man doesn’t want to burden him.

This made Kyuhyun a little bit embarrassed for making the man worried about him when he’s not supposed to. As for Siwon’s recovery progress, Kyuhyun has been waiting for the day until he got discharged and recovers well. Then, he can finally tell everything to the man. He doesn’t want to see him weak as he told everything and he doesn’t want to make him feel ill again. Siwon’s accident was a nightmare for him, no matter how many times he’s trying to avoid of recalling any of the unwanted scenes. He can’t, since it seems to keep playing on his head.

The screams… and how the cars collide with one another.

Everything happened in a blink of an eye, right in front of him.

Kyuhyun takes the two phones he’s been keeping inside his bag and stares at it. The phone that has a broken screen because of the accident which occurred few months ago was Siwon’s and the normal one was his. He’s not supposed to keep Siwon’s phone secretly and was supposed to give it back to him as the last evidence that he’s alive. He places his own phone on top of the table and switch on Siwon’s phone. After waiting for the phone to work normally again since the first time he tried to opened it, it took quite a time for him to be able to use it. With his trembling hands he presses the call section and is not surprised at the countless number of missed calls.

He still remembers. Another call started around five days ago, the same day when Siwon told him to go back and continue his part time work. That time when the call started he just stared at the phone and hesitated whether he should answer it or not. Even if he has the chance to, he doesn’t have the urge to answer the call and when Siwon asked who it was, he disappoints his honesty saying that it was just his bothersome editor.

Kyuhyun noticed Siwon’s phone once again buzzed. Without looking at the screen, he’s positive who the caller was. He leaves the phone until the call stops before taking the phone with his hands and checks the voice mail, placing the phone to his ears.

Siwon ah, it’s been months…It’s been five months Siwon. Come home soon, everybody’s waiting for you. I don’t care about your useless business that made you leave without trace. Everybody…Everybody’s worried about you. But you leave your phone active. Yes, I traced your location. What are you doing far away at Incheon? Anyway, I send someone there in search for you. He’ll take you back home to Seoul and his name is Lee Donghae.

There’s no doubt. Now Kyuhyun knows the reason why Donghae’s in Incheon is because he’s in duty of searching Siwon. He’s quite relieved that Donghae can’t clearly recognize him when the fact they’ve met once.

“Aren’t you the one who told me to sleep?”

As soon as Kyuhyun heard Siwon’s husky voice he hurriedly hides the phone under his blanket.

“Oh that… Why aren’t you asleep yet? ” Kyuhyun asked.

“I can’t sleep... Now that I see you’re not asleep I guess we’re the same.” Siwon turns his side facing Kyuhyun.

“Is that so…Yeah I guess we are…” Kyuhyun looks down. He can’t seem to face Siwon right now.

“What you told me a while ago, being fine without you here…Is that true?” Siwon asked.

“Siwon... Why are you taking it seriously?”

“I don’t know… But Kyuhyun… do you know?” Siwon said and Kyuhyun signal him to go on. “Honestly, when you claim to be my lover…I have these feelings that I shouldn’t feel. It was a doubt. No, it’s more liked unbelievable. The more I spend my time here in the hospital with you. The more I wonder about my old self. I really lost it when it came to this man whose name is Choi Siwon. I don’t really know who I am anymore… What am I like? What’s my life like before? Do I have family? If yes, what kind of family I have? Why aren’t they here? What kind of job I have?”

“I know you would doubt things…” Kyuhyun tries to be calm.

“Then…Can you answer?” Siwon suddenly asked and repeats. “Can you answer me?”

“Siwon…” Kyuhyun grips his blanket and feels his hands begin to tremble, he’s nervous, the fact that now he’s gripping his blanket to prevent letting out a shaky voice.”I’m not in situation where I could mention and answer your questions…” He lies down on his couch and covers his body with blankets. “I’m going to sleep now, good night.”

He waits for Siwon to say something but he didn’t get any. He didn’t feel hurt, what for? Instead, he feels guilty. It feels like as if he’s hurting Siwon. He didn’t get to answer those questions the man asked.

It isn’t that he didn’t know what to answer, he just can’t.