It was pitch black.

He sees nothing yet he could hear himself breathing normally as if it’s a sign for him that he was still alive. He tried to gather his energy to speak but it was no use. He wanted to speak up, to ask if someone was actually there beside him, if someone was actually there to watch him. His throat felt dry. He couldn’t move an inch. Everything felt numb. Inside he was essentially screaming as he’s having the urge to call someone. Half of him knows who he should call out to. Who he should reach to but…But whom should he call?

It was that feeling when you wanted to call someone out but something is fighting you back. Something is haunting you back, pulling you to the deep dark ocean.

He knows no names. He knows no one. He was all left alone in the dark world.

At least that’s what he shouldn’t have thought. Out of the blue he heard distorted voice. The voice firstly called softly of his name. Then continues with countless words he’d thought he could count. It tells him stories which he’s not familiar with but in someway it presents him wistfulness. The happiness and laugh, the cry and sorrow, the tranquility, everything was peculiar as how he could feel the voice owner’s emotion. The more the voice speaks up, the more audible and decipherable it becomes. The voice sounds gentle, warming and light, the voice of a person who brings a glimpse of illumination to his dark world, he doubts if he could meet the owner some day. The conscious world that he was living in, he was not alone anymore.

He was not alone because Kyuhyun filled his empty gap.

Awoken for the first time in an unfamiliar medicine scented room, Kyuhyun was the first one that caught his eyes. Siwon remembers them evidently. He never saw the man before however he hardly remembers ever hearing such gentle voice. The boy had his gaze of relief and tenseness, the pale skinned hands that were gripping the hospital’s bed sheet and the hitched breath when the first time the boy met his eyes.

“The more you told me about it, the more I’m embarrassed. Why does that moment have to be the one you remember most?”

“Because that was how I first met you. Here, not as Choi Siwon but as stranger who just knows you.”

The vision he’s seeing blurred away, replaced by someone offering their hand. He accepts the hand and slowly he is pulled away from the dark. In an instant he opened his eyes and heaves a heavy sigh. He positioned himself to sit with pillow behind him. Siwon tried to look around the surrounding which later he finds them unfamiliar. From afar he heard Heechul’s voice talking to someone before the man went inside the room with clear glass of water and somewhat like a small pill bottle. Heechul sits on the edge of the bed and hand him the glass.

“Have a drink.” Heechul said as he picks one pill from the pill bottle. “And have this.”

“…” Siwon obediently did and put the empty glass on the small table beside the bed.

“You have high a fever but the temperature went down fast, I guess…” Heechul sighs, “You’ve been sleeping for three hours. How are you feeling now?”

“Better.” Siwon was thankful they did not bring him to the hospital. “Where are we?”

“I see that you’re still dazed... We’re in my apartment.” Heechul shows his small smile before standing up. “Just call me if you need anything. I’ll be outside in the living room. It’s almost evening anyway. Leave the room once you feel hungry. I’ll order anything you want.”

“Wait.” Siwon stops Heechul from leaving the room.

In case there will be another accident like this, perhaps this is the best time for him to tell his brother everything. Yes, he’s going to tell his brother everything. From the beginning till the end, he is prepared for the outcome. Who knows him well aside from his family members? He knows nothing of himself and the people around him. He’s not going to live as Choi Siwon whom he never knows of. He’s not going to live with someone else’s name and pretend to know everything.

Siwon got off from the bed and leaves the room, taking his seat on the sofa. “Choi Siwon.” Heechul follows and take Siwon’s arm, trying to pull his little brother to bed again. “You’re not going to faint in front of me again.”

“…”

“Didn’t you hear me? Stand up and get back to bed. “

Siwon sighs as he rolled up his right long sleeves, revealing a long scar from the accident. The scars from the car accident didn’t leave his body like writing that can effortlessly be erased with an eraser. He got them primarily on his back while some on his chest and arms. When Heechul saw the scars he stops moving and frowns.

“These are…”

The sky looks clear but he’s seeing them now in the ground of Seoul, far away from where he lives. He had yet to believe that for right now he is back and standing in his mainly land of home, Seoul. Kyuhyun reaches his right hand in the air and plays with the sunlight between his fingers. The shiny piece wrapped on one of his finger made him narrow his eyes. Yet he lets out a small smile and dropped his hand after a thing came to his mind that the sky looks no different. Only that he used to be standing in a different place from others.

“You’ve really grown up into a tall and fine handsome young man.” The voice behind made him turns around, smiling shyly and scratches his non-itchy neck. He’s now sitting with his legs crossed in the wooden floor, while the other figure places two tea cups and tea pot in a small table.

“Auntie…”

“When was the last time I saw you…?” Junhee asked. “Was it… fifteen years ago?”

“I guess?” Kyuhyun lets out a sorry smile and pours the tea to both cups.

“Seeing you before me is like seeing my sister’s reflection.” Junhee smiles sadly, “You are much look like your mother Kyuhyun.”

“I get that from hyung a lot.” Kyuhyun smiles.

“Your brother often paid a visit every year.” Junhee looks at Kyuhyun. He notices that she is searching something by looking at his eyes which made him to look down on the tea cup nervously.

“Between my talks with hyung…Sometimes hyung mentioned about you.” Kyuhyun said honestly, “I…don’t really remember ever meeting you but I think it was that fifteen years ago, or probably less like what you mentioned. But I remember when my mother brought me to this house to meet my brother for the first time.”

“That boy was really excited and chose to pick up good presents for you both.” Junhee giggles, “He didn’t sleep for that night because he was looking forward to meet his brother and mother for the first time. I was having a hard time putting him to sleep. Each year I always wonder what you look like when you grow up. But he never seems to bring you here…”

“I’m sorry that I had to make you wait this late.” Kyuhyun gives a short nod as an apologizing bow.

“Better late than never, son.” Junhee nods. “I never thought this day would come. I’m very happy.” For having the first meeting with Junhee, the atmosphere was quite a tense one. He also never thought that this day would come. The day when he get to visit his mother’s only sibling and family, also the one who took care of his older brother before their mother took him and live as a small family. He may be here for something however the warm talks made him want to know more about this motherly figure. There was no wonder why his brother talked about her with full of admiration. The short talk that he had somewhat gave him the feeling of talking to his own mother.

Siwon stands up from his seat and pour himself a drink from the table nearby. He didn’t forget to roll down his rolled sleeves before getting back to where he came from. The glass of water was added by one. The intruder crossed his legs in not a guest manner and embraces the comfortable soft looking with floral pattern cushion. As much as Siwon wants to detest, he doesn’t have any idea who this intruder seated oppositely from where he’s seated was. Friend? Does look like it. Relative? He’s not so much convinced despite Heechul’s normal behavior when the guy kicks himself right in like a landlord. And why he calls him an intruder? But one thing for sure, this intruder pretty much disturbs his plans to tell his brother everything. It was that moment when he showed the scars on his arms, not before he said that the cause of them was from a car accident, a loud knocking was heard and Heechul loudly cursed before letting the intruder in.

“What’s the use of having phone when you can’t even move your finger to inform me that you’ll be here?” Heechul scolds and the intruder tilts his head. “This is not your place.”

“But I paid half of it, right? Damn I hate talking about money. I may have my own place now but you shouldn’t forget how we spend our sweats to buy one.” The intruder said and throws the cushion to Heechul. Siwon could sense their closeness when they began speaking informally. “And, I’m not here because I need your help. I’m here because of Siwon.”

“What do you want from Siwon?” Heechul asked.

“Me?” Siwon starts joining.

“I heard you were back and I have something to give you.” The intruder said and takes the white envelope from his jacket’s pocket, giving it by hand to Siwon. “What a perfect timing. Making my job easier…An invitation from the minister—”

“Minister?” Heechul laughs, “Yah, Lee Hongki…You gotta be kidding me.”

“Yes I’m kidding. Who told you to take it seriously?”

“This bastard…” Heechul throws back hard the cushion at Hongki. “It’s not even funny.”

“My jokes are never funny.” Hongki admitted. “Apparently my beautiful-troublesome cousin will have her wedding on 8^th of March and you lucky people are invited. This invitation was supposed to be given a few weeks ago but here it is anyway. Sooyoung wanted to invite Siwon plus, for her so called friendship reunion but this Choi Heechul guy is my friend who’s the older brother of Siwon so she didn’t hesitate to invite you too. Wedding will be in two days and the dress coat for us guys is white.” After what Hongki said, Siwon half opened his mouth to ask who Sooyoung is, but closed them again. It seems that the wedding girl is his high school friend. He’d so much like to reject the invitation since the wedding will at the same place for her high school friend circle reunion. If he is to be there, it would be awkward to be standing near the people who knows him when he doesn’t know a single life.

“Reunion?” Heechul asked.

Hongki snaps his fingers, “She invited almost all of her classmates.”

“That’s so cute of her. She should learn to separate the time for wedding and school reunion.” Heechul chuckled, “We’re in.” But if he is to be there, it would spark some benefit and that is, he will get to know who the people he used to be near with. “It’s been a while since you seen her Siwon.”

“I’m surprised myself. She’s about to marry another guy yet she longs to see you, Siwon. To be frank, I know you’re good looking than my soon to be cousin-in-law…It’s no wonder if she fell for you once…I’m not joking but I’m already fed up of her childish whining.” Hongki change his eyes to Siwon. “What’s more, you’ve been missing for damned six months. It’s making my job even harder. But now, thanks to you being here, it helps me a lot. I can rest well now. You’re coming, right?”

He’s not changing his mind when he imagined himself again standing in the crowds of people that he doesn’t know.

“Don’t worry.” Heechul wraps his arm around Siwon’s shoulder. “If he’s not coming, I’ll burn his head.” Siwon’s eyebrow twitched. Ouch, but that doesn’t sound really hurt compared to what he felt after the accident.

“I’ll think about it.” Siwon’s honesty made Heechul to squeeze hard his shoulder, despite not knowing it had been once dislocated because of the car accident. Aside from wincing he closes his eyes and drops of sweat begin to form on his forehead and not forgetting to cover the look of pain with a heave of fake laugh. How he’d like to smack the guy—his brother, if Heechul had known everything he would’ve nudge him away. That is, if he could.

Hongki bid his goodbye and the two send him off. Heechul closed the door and give Siwon a let’s-continue-where-we-left look. He nods and signals him to sit on the couch. Siwon begin to roll his two sleeves up to his elbows showing half-length scars. The frown on Heechul’s grew deeper when he examines them carefully.

“What are those?” Siwon shrugs as he didn’t remove his eyes from his arms. If Heechul were to show him something similar and he asked that kind of question, he’ll be smacked in the back of his head. Wait, what? Suddenly he looks at Heechul and blinks while his thoughts are spinning. How did he know he’ll be smacked? Perhaps it’s just his intuition but how come the feelings are familiar? Was he remembering something just a few moments ago? “Yah, why were you shrugging when I asked you a question, what are those damn scars?!”

“These are the scars from the accident.” Siwon finally could feel a short moment of relieve.

“What… what accident?” Heechul asked, his voice slightly trembling.

“Six months ago I got into a car accident.” Siwon said while smiling sadly, “I was in coma for five months and because of that accident I have a serious brain injury causing me to be…amnesic. The doctor said I suffered from post traumatic amnesia. The possibility for me to remember everything is not less than 3 percent. I can’t remember a thing. My past, family and friends, everything was gone. I’m sorry I’ve been keeping it from you hyung. I decided to tell you this because… you are my brother and I thought you might able to help me remember a thing about who am I.”

“What are you babbling?” Heechul lets out a nervous chuckle with a hint of disbelieve. He thought Siwon was joking because the latter takes after him for that. But Siwon’s expression is not convincing. However, this moment reminds him of his doubt towards his young brother. Siwon was like another person who he doesn’t recognize. Another thing hits him when he fetched Siwon and Donghae at the airport. Siwon looked lost while Donghae tried to act naturally. There was a time when Donghae said Siwon has a flu, was that a lie? Were the two of them work together to cover these? What for? Was it for the sake of protecting the Choi family image?

“Are you joking right now?”

“No. It’s the truth.” Siwon linked his hands and when he opened his mouth to speak up again, Heechul cuts.

“Then why are you hiding it?” Heechul’s frown grows, “Why are you hiding it from us? Why were you pretending that nothing had happened?” No answer. “Choi Siwon. You let yourself suffered alone while we were happy that you came back, without ing knowing what you been through!”

“I feel bad—“

“We are the ones who were supposed to feel bad!” Heechul snapped. Siwon was taken aback by his brother’s burst and stayed quiet until Heechul is calm. “Tell me everything.”

“I first saw that person after I woke up from my coma. He told me he was someone important to me, a lover. He took care of me and visited me daily, watching every of my progress. Sometimes…I caught him skipping his work just to watch me. Everything seemed well until Donghae found me. I didn’t know I had a family searching for me because that person never mentioned a thing. Everything he said was a lie. He admitted he was just a passerby on the day of my accident. After that day I had my discharge and I thought I…should hide him from everyone as a gratitude for his hospitality. On the other side I don’t want this family to press charges on him. When I heard everything from Donghae… I thought it’d be a burden for a family to meet their son after five months, only to find out he can’t remember anything about them. So I decided to let the time do its thing and wait for my memory to return… I thought I could hold it lasts but you asked me whether I met Kyuhyun at Incheon.” Siwon explained. “Cho Kyuhyun… Everything he said was a lie or so I thought.” Siwon turns his gaze to Heechul and waits for an explanation. “You also said he’s the reason why I went to Incheon.”

Siwon expects a frown, instead he gets a flash of relieve from Heechul.

“That kid.” Heechul ruffles his own hair and ducks his head. “Yes. You’re right. He’s the reason why you went to Incheon. You didn’t tell me for what reason.”

“You…Know who Cho Kyuhyun is?” Siwon asked.

“I wouldn’t lie about that.” Heechul huffs, “It’s a relief to know he’s by your side for the last five months. We owe him another, Siwon.” Deep inside he’s contemplating another problem. He visited Kyuhyun at Incheon but the latter said he knew nothing of Siwon’s whereabouts. Why did he lie? Was Kyuhyun hiding something? He needs to see the latter again for an explanation. “About what you told me, I didn’t spot any lies from him.”

Siwon slightly widened his eyes. Strangely he felt a tug on his chest and his shoulders feel somewhat lighter. He doesn’t get that feeling but it made him feel better.

“We would not be pressing charges on him. You don’t have to worry about that. You got a big heart there, old self. Don’t expect much from me. I’m not fully welcoming you yet. You may not be a stranger in figure but you mentally are. Even though that doesn’t look much…After you told me everything…”

“I understand hyung.”

“So…You don’t remember me at all? Even a slightest bit?” Heechul ask softly. “Everyone too? Even about yourself…?”

“Yeah…” Siwon admits again, “I’m sorry hyung.”

“It’s not your fault and no one’s to blame. What has happened had happened.” Heechul stands and blinks his eyes to refrain tears from falling as he looks away. “I always told you not to drive recklessly. Stupid brat…”

Siwon smiled sadly at the sight as he didn’t miss the small tears falling from his brother.

“If…If I won’t do anything about you, it’d make me look like a bad brother. So…” Heechul offers his hand to Siwon. “Whatever you need…I will help you with everything. I need my brother back.”

Siwon take Heechul’s hand in his. He didn’t regret his decision at all. He looks forward to know and learn everything about Choi Siwon’s life. Whether it’ll be his family, past, friends and one thing that took his curiosity,

Cho Kyuhyun, who turned out wasn’t just a normal witness of his accident.

Who turns out to have a role in his life.

“Thank you, hyung.”