December 2005

World Star Pianist Joohyun,

                Don’t leave me! Hahahaha just kidding, I hope this letter reaches you before you leave. I don’t have anything going on for the holidays, we might stay with my grandparents because it will be too lonely to spend Christmas with just the two of us. Mom is putting on a brave face so I decided to do my fair share. You’re right Joohyun, I think this might be for the best. I thought about what you said, a lot and I’ve figured, no, I wouldn’t want to come home to both parents who are suffering from a loveless marriage. I think it’s like my passion for music, if I’m forced to do music and I don’t want to, then I just may end up hating it more, I think it’s the same for them, they still have me as a connection and if they want to be the best parents for me, then they have to stop hating each other and start helping each other for my sake atleast. And I guess it’s not easy, some nights I can still hear mom cry. I think the most that I can do to help her is not be a burden as much as possible. So I’ve learned now how to shop for some groceries, okay don’t get too excited not really shop but like buy milk and eggs and bread nothing on the meat section or seasoning section (not unless mom puts it down on a note and I show it to the people there). I think dad is doing well, he got himself a little apartment near his work place. He said he’ll be assigned in Seoul next year so no point moving in to a bigger, more accommodating place. I look at him and I don’t see any remorse at all. I guess that’’s just how love is, you fall in love then fall out of love. Can I say it’s a luxury to be with the same person for 50 years or so, and still in love for that matter?

                I wish I can also go out of the country fo