“I’m sorry Your Royal Highness but I can’t do this…”

Finishing my sentence, I was about to turn around and leave the room when I was called back by Haraboji.

“Chaerin what is the meaning of this?!!” Haraboji said and when I heard him pant, I immediately turn and see him collapsing back into the sofa, causing me to rush to his side immediately.

“Haraboji what’s wrong?!!” I ask as I pat his chest, hoping that I could somehow calm him down.

Since the last time he got sick, I have been really worried about his health. The physician has told us that as Haraboji age, his body is getting weaker and he can’t afford to be stressed anymore. When I saw him in that state, I hated myself for leaving his side even though I had no choice. Telling myself that if one day we can get back to living together, I would take really good care of him but I disappointed him. Right now, I am the one who is causing him all this pain. I such a disappointment aren’t I?

“Somebody get some water!!! Haraboji breath. Please breath and let your breathe settle please I beg you!!!” I said to him and I could see that he was obediently listening to my orders.

“Unnie the water!” I heard someone said and knew it was Mingkki since she was the only one who calls me unnie in here.

“Haraboji here!!!” I said as Seungri oppa help me support Haraboji up to sit.

Supporting the glass by his lips, waiting for them to come apart a little, I slowly pour the contents in with one hand and the other supporting below his chin in case the water drips. After two sips, it seems like his breathe was starting to stabilize and immediately I hand Seungri oppa the cup before hugging Haraboji as I pat his back.

“Yah why do you have to scare me like that?!!” I asked as he pulls me away upon gaining back some energy, cupping both of his palms over my already wet cheeks as he got his thumb to wipe my falling tears.

“C…chaerinnie…don’t cry…” He said as I buried my face in his lap still kneeling in front of him.

“Why?!! Why is all this happening?!!” I asked and even thought my voice was muffled, it was still audible.

“Chaerin I know this is too much but…please stop crying…” Haraboji said with his weak voice as he pat my head.

“Unnie…” Mingkki said as she tried to comfort me as she place her hands on my shoulders. I bet she was taken aback by the way I was acting cause never had I lost myself like that before. Whenever I was with Mingkki, I was always acting strong even if I know she is stronger than me in many ways but it came naturally as her unnie.

“Promise me…promise me that you would never get angry again. If that means I have to accept the fact that I’m a mama. If that means I have to accept the marriage, I will listen to you Haraboji. Just don’t ever leave me again!!!” I cried.

“Chaerin I would never leave you. I’ve yet to see my great grandchildren neh? Come on don’t cry anymore.” He said and immediately I got up and gave him a hug, hiding my hideous face in his neck.

After helping Haraboji into the room, I just stood beside the door leaning my back against the wall and my tears were falling non-stop. It was as if that barrier that is there to stop the tears from dropping was broken and I had no control over my tears. From tears falling, I gradually turned into whimpers and eventually wailing until Seungri oppa and Mingkki came to me as they assist me back into my room.

“Chaerin mama…” Seungri oppa said as Minzy and I settled at the edge of the bed while he was simply standing in front of us.

“Panda let me warn you if you ever call me mama again I’m so going to break your bones!” I warned.

“But what can I call you then?” He asked.

“Whatever you call me normally.” I said back coldly.

“But…”

“Aish Seungri oppa if you can call my oppa hyung, you should call us by our names instead. Please don’t be so formal cause that is so not you!!!” Mingkki whined.

“Fine if that is what you guys want I will do so at least when there is no one around. Compromise?”

“Chaerin unnie are you feeling better? Do you need to take a rest?” Mingkki ask me.

“My mind...I feel like it’s going to explode anytime.” I commented making her rub my temples.

“Unnie I agree that it’s really too much for you to take but let’s just forget it, at least for tonight neh?” Mingkki asked.

“Mingkki is right Chaerin ah. Stop looking at everything in the big picture. Take a step at a time. No one is hurrying you to make a decision immediately. Your Haraboji and the royal elderly in Kwon Kingdom would understand that you need time right now.”

“Neh unnie. On the other hand, I thought you love Jiyong oppa? Why did you reject Haraboji and appa’s proposal of the arranged marriage?” Mingkki asked.

To be honest, this was the one that gave me quite a headache. Previously I was merely a personal gungnyeo that was serving him and left the palace because of my forbidden love towards him. Only today did I realise why King YG didn’t punish me yet requested for me to come back in a year’s time knowing that I would be exposed to his son again? In any case shouldn’t it be that I am to be immediately ship to Exile Island or something.

“I don’t know either Mingkki. I just felt that…I’m not worthy for him.”

“She’s crazy~” Seungri oppa said making Mingkki smack him. “What?!! I’m serious!!! She is a mama now and she thinks Jiyong hyung is not worthy for her. Chaerin ah we haven’t been away for so long and I believe you still remember what the King told you right?” Seungri oppa reminded.

“What did appa said?” Mingkki asked.

“Ask her yourself.” Seungri oppa said as he head to the window, admiring the view from my current room.

“Unnie~” Mingkki whined as she swing my arm from left to right.

“He said education isn’t a huge factor he looks out to when he is looking for a wife and he never let his wife interfere with country matters cause women have their own duties here in the world.”

“You mean like giving birth?” Mingkki asked making me nod.

“And he said that wife is there to be cared and love for, not to do what man do like worrying about the nation and all.”

“I think you missed out the part where he says that he wants you to stay with Jiyong hyung cause when you are with him, he was never lonely?” Seungri oppa said, joining us back at the bed again.

“Unnie what is it that is still holding you back?!!” Mingkki asked.

“That might be what your appa thinks but does Jiyong mama feels the same? Maybe to him, I’m nothing but just a gungnyeo who tries to use him to gain fame and wealth.”

“Chaerin maybe you’re saying this because you still don’t know the situation well but in actual fact, you are actually more powerful than Jiyong hyung now. Whatever King YG has, it has to be shared with kids but you inherited everything that your parents left behind. You are the next in line of Lee Kingdom while Seunghyun hyung would take over Kwon Kingdom, well unless Jiyong hyung marries you and he would then be crowned King of Lee Kingdom.”

“Will Jiyong mama want that? He is a kwon. What makes you think that he would be alright with being the King of Lee Kingdom, something that isn’t related with him in the first place?”

“All in the name of love unnie.” Mingkki said.

“Mingkki is right. If Jiyong hyung love you, I doubt this would be a hindrance to him.” Seungri said.

“Unnie you might say that I’ve been away and I seldom get to be with my oppas. Yes that is true and maybe in a year, we rarely see one another for a month but whenever I get to talk to my oppas through letters, I notice how one year ago Jiyong oppa’s letter was so different.”

“Different?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Every time he would just ask how omma and I have been doing and just filling us with what is happening here but last year, I could feel from his words that he was really happy over something. After hearing that you were with oppa during that time, I knew you are someone special to him. Yes he had quite a few relationships before this but never was he like that before. A few months later I receive another letter from him and he didn’t write much. In fact it was lesser than what he used to write so I decided to come back earlier to see what was going on, obviously without him knowing. Before I could figure out a way to stalk him without him knowing, I found you as if it was fated. Unnie Jiyong oppa really loves you. Although he never tells anyone but we know that.” Minzy said.

“Give the man a chance. You never know what he is thinking too. Besides he didn’t even oppose to the marriage earlier on did he?” Seungri oppa reminded.

“Unnie you should go take a shower then rest. Stop thinking too much neh? Leave everything to tomorrow after waking up. I love you~” Mingkki said as she gave me a kiss on my cheeks, something that she do to me every night before we part for bedtime.

“I’ll see you tomorrow too. Remember, give the man a chance.” Seungri oppa said before they all left me alone in the huge room.

And there I was, alone in the room that echoed due to its large area. I immediately head to the washroom and took a soothing shower that successfully help me in calming my mind down. Figuring that if I stay too long I was going to fall asleep in the bathtub, I quickly got up and changed into a piece of purple sleeveless night gown with ruffles at the bottom that showed off my waist line. Since I had a short nap earlier on, I couldn’t really sleep so I decided to stand by the window, overlooking and admiring the whole village before me.

-Jiyong’s POV-

Clasping my heart, I can’t help but to feel that it hurts me when I see Chaerin cry. Yes I’ve seen her cry before and every time it happens, it hurts my heart but today it hurts extremely bad. Looking at how worried she is when her Haraboji had a heart attack all because of her decision. When she finally sends her Haraboji back to his room, the way she broke down in front of the door made me want to tear. Thankfully Minzy and Panda Ri was there to help Chaerin calm down and get her back to her room.

With the mind set of wanting to make sure that Chaerin is fine, I followed closely behind the three and finally reaching her closed door, I quietly open a creak at the door so that I was able to see what was going on inside and hear what they say, yet not letting them know that I was there. I heard their conversation and surprisingly their relationship with one another is much deeper than what I expected. And to think that Chaerin actually thinks Seungri is a panda as well actually makes me want to chuckle. Great minds think alike don’t we?

At the same time, I heard everything that she said regarding me. So it’s really true that she liked me but all the while she was denying it, thinking that she wasn’t worthy for me. Well if we are talking about the past I would have thought that it was normal but now that she knows she too is a mama, why can’t she for once think that maybe sharing the same status the possibility would be so much higher?

Seungri and Minzy have been helping me persuade her but it seems like it would be a little difficult. When the two left, I thought that I should leave too but with my head asking me to leave, my legs just refuse to barge and before I knew it, she was out of the shower in an amazing piece of nightgown as she stands by the window looking out at the scenery. Her back view ad mist the moon light that was shining into the room mesmerise me. Can someone be as perfect as her?

-Chaerin’s POV-

Under the moonlight, I reflected of what happened in my life today. Basically it was a turning point in my life from a nobody to someone who is next in line of a royal kingdom. Before I could even adapt to this fact, I was assigned into a marriage with someone I love but thought I couldn’t love all the while. Only today did I realise how status can bring you high up to heaven or even down to hell. When people hear that you are a mama, the way they treat you are so different. You get what you want as well as things that you can’t get without that status…including a once forbidden love.

“Hey what’s in your mind? Stop crying~” I heard someone whisper to my ears, following a pair of arms snaking round my waist.