It’s been a week since you’ve been gone and everyone’s getting restless. Literally everyone. The first few days are okay – you don’t spend every day together, after all. But when a week passes, and as the start of the semester nears, you all get anxious. You – because you’re away from home, because you’re far away from Kai, and because you’re starting a ‘new chapter of your life’ (as Baekhyun called it) – and the boys because they feel weird without having you around.

Sehun, Chanyeol and Suho all laugh at the rest, because they have that phase of their life behind them. After all, they had to deal with leaving their hometown quite a long time ago, and are now shamelessly making fun of the rest.

Sehun walks into your room with coffee (and a chair) just as you turn on your laptop and go to google hangouts.

“Thanks,” you say as he hands you your coffee. He sends you a tight smile and places his chair next to yours, by the desk, so that you can both look at the laptop. You press the green phone button and your faces show up on the screen. Chanyeol is the first one to pick up, and his face shows up in the corner, his hair in disarray. He’s shirtless, lying on his chest, in bed, his laptop in front of his face.

“Yoo,” he drags out sleepily.

“Is that Dal?” Suho asks from somewhere, and then pops out next to Yeol. His face goes from curious to beaming. “Hi!”

“Hey chirpy,” you joke, smiling widely.

Baekhyun’s and Luhan’s faces pop up next to Chanyeol’s and Suho’s almost in the same second. Luhan has his face stuffed with food while Baekhyun is trying to balance his laptop on his lap while holding a cup of coffee.

“Hey!” he practically shouts. Luhan waves to you energetically.

You’re still dialing the rest, and soon enough, Kai’s, Taemin’s, Kyungsoo’s, Xiumin’s, Tao’s, and Chen’s faces pop up on the screen. They all smile at you and start talking at the same time.

That’s why you usually don’t do group calls. It’s nearly impossible to talk to the boys when they’re all online, and your laptop can only take this much.

“It’s so good to see your faces,” you say, grinning at them.

“Yours too,” Suho says. He’s pushed Chanyeol over to the side and they’re now lying on the bed together, facing the camera. “You look good.”

“That’s because I’m taking care of her,” Sehun says, throwing an arm over your shoulder. He’s met with distressed faces and outraged screams.

“You’re doing this on purpose!”

“Unfair!”

“Kai is gonna combust, guys, no kidding.”

You look at Kai to see him very pissed. You snort hard enough for your coffee to reach your nose, and you sputter all over the screen, failing to laugh like a normal person. Next to you, Sehun jumps off his seat in worry for his shirt, and the rest of the boys either falls into hysterics or disgust.

“Oh my God,” you say, wiping away the coffee. You reach over towards a box of tissues you always keep on the desk, and you wipe your mouth and then the screen. “If you could see your faces.”

“We miss you so much, it’s unbearable,” Baekhyun pouts, looking like a half-sad, half-angry puppy. “I don’t like it when you’re away. I’m coming next weekend.”

“You need to study, mister,” you remind him.

“Screw that,” Tao says angrily. “I’m bored. We haven’t had any incidents in more than a week, it’s freaking tiring.”

You laugh.

“Hey, be grateful,” Luhan says. “No bad guys means more time for us to do stuff.”

“You mean, more with Kris?” Chen asks him, smirking. Yixing, who’s with Chen, stands up to high-five him, and Luhan’s cheek go a tiny bit red. You all laugh shamelessly, all of you high on…whatever it is that’s between you. Can you be high on friendship? Because you definitely feel like it.

“Speaking of Kris,” you say in-between giggles, “is he working?”

“Yes,” Luhan grunts out. “He told me to say hi to you.”

“Is Kris a morning kind of guy, or does it all depend on your mood?” Sehun asks, pretending to be deeply fascinated by it. He even looks to the side in an expression of wonder.

“Sehun, Chen, I understand that your lives are nonexistent, but that doesn’t mean you should into mine,” Luhan deadpans, raising his brows at the camera and pointing a finger at it. “Don’t be rude.”

“Whoa, okay, who’s being rude now?” Chen bursts out.

“, I gotta scramble,” Kyungsoo says, hissing a little. You look at his image in the right corner; he’s looking at his wristwatch. He looks up at the camera. “I’ll see you guys later. Dal, good luck on your first day! Let us know how it went. And try not to kill any ist boys.”

“A punch in the balls is totally acceptable, though,” Xiumin reminds you with a serious face, nodding at his own words. He looks to the side suddenly, quirking a brow, and giggles. He turns at the screen. “Min just woke up because I said ‘balls’.”

“Did not,” comes Min’s weak voice from the side.

“Bye Kyungsoo!” you wave. The boys bid their goodbyes and Kyungsoo disconnects. You look at Xiumin, then into your camera, and wink. “I’ll remember, Xiumin. And morning, Min!”

Min’s hand shows up in the corner of Xiumin’s camera. She waves.

Soon, Luhan needs to go, same as Suho and Chanyeol, and you talk to the rest for a few minutes. In the end, you need to go and prepare for school, so they all disconnect, save for Kai. Sehun leaves your room, taking your now empty coffee mug with him. You smile at the camera and look down at Kai’s face on your computer screen. He usually doesn’t wake up this early – God knows it’s nearly impossible – but he did, just so that he could see you before you left for the academy.

You grin at him. “I’m officially a student,” you say.

“I got the memo,” Kai says, smiling softly at the screen. “You’ve got everything?”

“Yes sir.”

“You nervous?”

“Oh boy. Yes.”

“You’ll do fine.”

You smile even wider. You tilt your head to the side, thinking about something. Kai makes a face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you say. “I miss you,” you then add.

“I’ll visit you soon,” Kai reassures. “Maybe even this weekend.”

“Really?” you gasp out, grabbing at your desk and pulling your chair closer. You lean towards the laptop, eyes wide. Kai laughs.

“Yeah, really,” he nods. “I miss you too much.”

“It’s a two-hour ride,” you say.

“I’m loaded, remember?”

You roll your eyes with a smile. “I wasn’t going to bring up the expenses.”

“I don’t mind driving.”

*

Kai doesn’t visit you because they get some ghoul trouble in the city. You’re worried out of your skin for the entire weekend. Sehun handles it better than you, but he’s worried too; it’s the first time something has attacked since you’ve been gone.

They handle it, but it takes some time.

The next weekend, Kai needs to leave for Seoul, because a distant relative of his dies and he has to be at the funeral. The weekend after, you’re literally drowning in homework, and cursing your existence.

The universe doesn’t seem to be on your side this time.

Your mom calls you one day to tell you that Kyungsoo, Kai and Baekhyun came over to have dinner with her, and that she loves your friends. You spend the next hour thanking the three of them and laughing at their cheesiness. Chen and Tao get bored, so they go over to the police station and, apparently, as Kris reports, start hanging out with the cops. Maeng doesn’t even mind.

“What do you mean, hang out?” you ask him over the phone, as you’re leaving the academy.

“They went over there and asked if there’s anything they can help with,” Kris says. “Naturally, Maeng told them to get out and ‘take care of their own lives’, but Tao says he doesn’t have one. I think Maeng felt bad for him.”

You snort. You see someone waving at you from a distance and you recognize a classmate of yours, Sungsomething. You stop in your tracks, confused as to whether or not he’s waving at you.

“Today they helped bring in a criminal. He was like eighty.”

“No way,” you gasp out.

“Yeah. Chen called him a punk, to which Maeng replied with something along the lines of ‘he’s eighty, Chen,’, you giggle because he even tries to parrot Maeng’s voice. “So Chen, naturally, said that ‘you don’t outgrow punk’, and then called Maeng ‘sir’.”

“Classy,” you say, smiling widely. Your classmate chooses that moment to finally catch up to you, and he raises his hand, in which he holds a bunch of papers. You look at him questioningly. “Hold on Kris,” you say to your phone.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the guy says a bit breathlessly. “I saw that you did really good last week—on that quiz. I was wondering if you’d be willing to tutor me a little?”

You raise your brows, your eyes shining.

“I’m Sungyeol, by the way,” the boy says, smiling.

*

It’s been a month since you’ve moved.

To say that it’s been difficult for you is an understatement.

You enter Sehun’s room (well, it’s practically a living room – the apartment you share has two rooms, one big, one small, and you’re occupying the small one) and he looks up at you from the couch. He has his laptop set on his knees. He sees your face and immediately closes the lid.

“Homesick?” he asks.

You just nod and sit next to him. He immediately wraps his arms around you, and you hug him close. It’s one thing to feel your pack’s presence with your tattoo, and another to feel it physically. You weren’t a werewolf, but your magic was deeply connected with the pack; you feel like a piece of you is missing.

Sehun rubs his cheek on your head. “It’s gonna get better. It was difficult for me in the beginning, too.”

“I can’t even imagine,” you say. “You were alone. I have you, at least.”

It’s not the first time you’re away for a longer period of time, but that doesn’t make it easier for anyone. Usually, when you were gone, it had something to do with, say, a crazy witch sending you off to another dimension. Or to another timeline. Hence, the pack feels weird. One, you’re away. Two, their instincts tell them it’s wrong.

It was hard parting with Chanyeol, Suho, and Sehun when they left for college, and it’s just as hard parting with you. It’s a huge distance, and even though the boys – thanks to the werewolf pack instincts – can feel your presence, can feel that you’re alive and safe, they still feel out of place. Just like you.

“Police administration class ,” you decide to point out. Sehun laughs.

*

Kai can’t sleep. Neither can you. And both of you know that the other doesn’t sleep. It’s something your soul bond does; it seems to act up when you’re apart. When you’re together, you rarely feel each other’s pain or emotions, but when you’re apart, the connection and mutual exchange of feelings seems to be almost constant. You know when he’s missing you most, and he knows when you miss him, too; he knows when you’re frustrated with homework, and you know when he’s feeling lonely (even if he’s with the rest of the pack).

Beginnings are just very hard.

Kai calls you every day, first thing in the morning, then when you come back home, then in the evening. You text each other all the time, and sometimes you leave your Skype call on when you’re doing homework, just so that when you look up, you can see him on the screen, doing something, or hear him mutter to himself. He likes to watch you get immersed with your readings; he always enjoyed that, to see you so cut-off from the world just because you’re reading.

Siwon calls you one day, which is a bit unusual for him. You pick up, worried.

“Hey,” you say. “Everything okay?”

“Hey, yeah,” he replies. “I, um…I’m calling to see how you’re doing.”

You pause. You open your mouth, smiling a little. “Is that worry I hear?”

“No, your mother sent me, actually.”

You make a disappointed sound.

“Don’t pretend,” Siwon laughs. “How are you doing without your magic?”

You exhale, trying to come up with an answer closest to the truth.

When you gave your magic away to save Kai, you became connected to him even further. Neither of you could live without the other.

“Weird,” you say. “To not have it…buzz under my skin. Empty.” Your throat clenches. “But it’s not like I have to use it.”

“You still have the stones, right?” Siwon asks, as if to make sure.

You nod. “Yes.”

You’ve trapped some of your magic inside the stones that blonde Jongin has given you. You wear three of them as earrings, carry some more in your backpack if they need using, and you still have a pile of them in your drawer. If the need comes, you’ll be able to use the magic that you’ve stored there; doesn’t matter how far away from Kai you are. It might not be as powerful and natural as the magic you have when Kai’s close by, but it’s still yours.

“By the way,” you add, “your bracelet is working miracles. Thanks.”

You look down at your wrist. Before leaving, Siwon gave you a gift – a silver, thin, with a small crescent moon in the middle of it. It’s one of the prettiest things you own, and it’s also charmed, so that it hides your tattoos from anyone who’s not magic. You have no idea where Siwon got it, but you appreciated it, and you feel oddly touched every time you look at it.

“You’re welcome,” Siwon says softly.

*

Taemin enters Kai’s loft to find it swimming in darkness. He trips over a shoe, almost splitting his skull on the wall, and he swears loudly as he tries to regain balance. “Jesus,” he says, patting the wall in search of the switch. He can’t remember where it was. “Kai?” he calls. “I went blind, help.”

He hears Choco’s claws scraping at the floor, but he can’t see the actual dog, and he yelps – manly – when he barks at him. He does not grab at his heart in fear.

“Choco, you , you scared me,” he hisses.

He abandons his search and moves to the living room, trusting his other senses to take him into the right place. He becomes accustomed to the darkness, more with every second, and he thanks God for windows, because when he enters the living room, he can at least see where he’s going. “God—are you a werewolf or a vampire?” he asks, approaching the couch. He expects to see Kai there, but nope. “Ugh.” He looks up. “Are you there?” he calls. So he’s probably in bedroom. “You know what? You’re not a werewolf. Not a vampire either, tho, you’re totally an emo. That’s it. That’s your species.”

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He curses himself for not thinking to use it as a torch earlier and takes it out begrudgingly to find a text from Kai on it.

Shut up, it says.

“Poetic,” Taemin snorts. He shoots a text to Kris and then looks at Choco, who’s sat down next to Taemin’s feet and is now looking at him. Taemin aims his phone at the dog, blinding him a little. “Oops, sorry boy.” He lowers the screen. “Can you take me to Mr. Grumpy Pants up there?” he asks. Choco stands up and takes off, as if understanding exactly what Taemin wants, and that makes the boy laugh out loud. “Dude, he totally understood me. Even he knows you’re grumpy.”

He goes to Kai’s bedroom. The whole loft is dark. No light is on. He finds the bed and somehow manages to turn on the bedside table lamp without knocking it off; he cringes at the brightness and then cringes even more when he sees Kai lying on his bed like a total lump.

“Have you even changed from your pajamas?” he asks, sighing. Kai grunts out a reply. Taemin can’t see his face, since he’s facing the other side. He’s lying on his stomach. Taemin pokes him on the back once, evoking another grunt. “You’re like those chickens who scream when someone squeezes them. Should I squeeze you?”

“No.”

Taemin sighs again. “Ah, you big mushy marshmallow,” he whispers mostly to himself. “Have you eaten?”

“Don’t wanna.”

“You’re worse than Sooyoung when she’s on her period, I swear. Unless you’re crying, then you’re just the same.”

Kai lets out the longest, suffering sigh at that. Taemin almost bursts out laughing at how depressing it sounds.

“God, Kai,” he snorts. He slaps Kai on the . “Seriously. Grumpy much?”

Another grunt.

He stares at his brother’s back for a while. He remembers being younger and asking for piggyback rides; he was always the smallest in the family.

“I know you miss her,” he says softly. “She does too. She just doesn’t tell you.”

Kai sighs again.

“Can I get a buck every time you sigh? I’d be rich,” Taemin jokes.

“You know,” Kai speaks up suddenly, his voice muffled by the pillow, “when we’re far apart, we tend to feel each other’s emotions. Sometimes even pain.”

Taemin blinks, nods slowly. “Okay.”

“You know what that means?”

“Not really, no.”

Kai turns his head. Now Taemin can see it. His hair is all over the place. “It means that when I miss her, she feels it. And when she misses me, I feel it. Now, imagine what happens when we both miss each other.”

That takes a few seconds to sink in.

Taemin hears the front door open. Soon enough, Kris enters the bedroom, with Luhan, Baekhyun, Sulli, Amber, Xiumin, Min, Chen and Yixing in tow.

“Aww,” Chen says, seeing Kai wrapped around in a blanket. Kai grunts in annoyance. “Our Alpha is going through a rough patch.”

“Don’t be a , Chen,” Amber says, pushing through them all and plopping down on the bed next to Kai. She pats his back. “Life is already a to him.”

Baekhyun and Chen snort in unison.

Kai lets out a sigh.

And that seems to scare everyone.

“Oh-kay,” Xiumin mutters. “I was expecting a flash of red eyes, not a sigh.”

Taemin sends him a pointed look.

“Kai,” Luhan says, “I ate your pudding.”

Baekhyun outward gasps at that. Everyone tenses, their eyes glued to Kai’s back. Even Taemin shuts up, wide-eyed; Amber suddenly regrets sitting right next to him.

They all expect a reaction. They get nothing.

They all (except Kai) look to Kris, who’s just as surprised as they are. He looks up at them, raises his shoulders in a shrug, and freezes in that position, completely shocked. Nobody eats Kai’s pudding. Nobody. It has ended with blood before. Puddings are sacred.

And then Kai moves.

He sits up, scaring Amber. She jumps off the bed and gets out of his way. Luhan goes pale and begins to retreat, ready to bolt out the door. Kai slides off the bed and heads for the said door, his face blank. He moves a bit like a penguin. Taemin figures that’s what happens when you take naps at 8 in the evening.

Kai stands in front of Luhan. The boy gulps, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Kai raises his hand and points a finger at his nose.

“Buy me a new one,” he says harshly. Then he walks past Luhan and heads for the toilet.

Silence fills the room.

“That was a ing close-to-death experience,” Luhan swears. He looks at Kris in disbelief. “Kris, I just realized. If I died now, I wouldn’t be able to propose to you.”

Kris slaps him on the head.

Kai takes a shower. He can hear people downstairs, and it does make him feel better, to know that they’re there. He exits the bathroom to check his phone; you’ve left him a few messages, and the last one says that you’re going to sleep. And there’s sheep emoticons at the end.

He smiles.

He goes downstairs when he smells food. The living room is lively; Kyungsoo is cooking, Heejin is helping him, Minjoon and Tao are bickering over something by the game console, Eun is talking to Min, the rest of the people are all over the place. Baek is playing with Choco, Amber is eating scraps of food that Kyungsoo sticks under her nose, Luhan and Kris are sitting by the table in the kitchen and doing something on their phones.

“Kai,” Kyungsoo calls. Kai nods at him. “Come here.”

Kai obliges and stands next to him. Heejin moves to the side, smiling at him as a greeting. Kyungsoo takes some vegetables off the frying pan using a wooden spoon and feeds it to him. Kai moans around the mouthful.

“Good,” he says, showing him an ‘ok’ sign. He moves to the window, and therefore towards Kris and Luhan.

“You awake?” Kris asks, making sure. Kai is awful after waking up.

“Uh-huh.”

Choco comes to him holding a ball in his mouth. He places it next to Kai’s feet and looks up innocently. Kai smiles down at him.

“What? Wanna play?” he asks. 

He leads Choco to the living room. Baekhyun is sitting on the floor, where he was previously playing with the dog, and Kai sits in front of him, leaving some space between; Choco immediately goes for the ball, but Kai snatches his hand back before he can get it. They play for a while, at least until Choco throws himself at Baekhyun and knocks him over. Baekhyun gets a mouthful of fur and a possible concussion.

They eat dinner (well, supper) together. They talk about everything and nothing. Everyone keeps on nudging Kai’s elbows, or kick him in the shins under the table. They try to engage him in conversation, and they succeed. They try to make him laugh, and they succeed.

They don’t say anything about Kai missing you, or about him being depressed. They don’t say it, but he knows they’re here to support him, to show him that when you’re away, they’re still here, with him. 

*

From Dal:
[received  3:23 am]
sleeping?

Kai rolls onto his stomach. Taemin stirs in his sleep next to him. He writes back:

No
[sent 3:23 am]

From Dal:
[received  3:23 am]
want to play 30 questions or something?

I don’t think there’s anything left for me to learn about you
 [sent 3:23]

From Dal:
[received  3:24 am]
idk if that sounds sweet or depressing af

From Dal:
[received  3:24 am]
oh my god it sounds so sad?? its like our relationship has grown boring

From Dal:
[received  3:24 am]
IT SOUNDS LIKE A QUOTE FROM TUMBLR

From Dal:
[received  3:24 am]
gonna find it

Kai smiles at the phone screen. Taemin grunts; he opens his eye just in time to see him grinning in a beam of white light, and he groans loudly.

“If you’re ting, I’m gonna lose my ,” he admits. Kai looks at him, surprised, and then slaps him on the head. 

I know nothing about Korean educational system, if you haven't noticed it yet XD IN A MATTER OF FACT, I don't know much about police academy, even in my own country. Welp. Have I ever told you I'm trash?

Also this fic is turning into the fluffiest thing I've ever written what's happening

From another news, Camille has sent me this twitter post. It fits chapter 72 (sunrise) so much.

OH and do you see how I chose a food pic for a chapter titled 'longing'? dats mah life