Sometimes, Kai holds you like he’s afraid you're about to drift away. It’s not too tight or overwhelming, it’s just...firm. Constant. Unrelenting. You go to sleep and wake up with Kai still all around you. He gets a little edgy if you don’t have some form of contact all day.

You would probably call it clingy from anyone else, but it’s Kai and you’d be a hypocrite to complain because you can’t stand being away from Kai for too long. Of course, you have your pack, and they're all part of your life. You love each and every one of them, you can't imagine your life without them, but they don’t look at you like you're changing their world just by being there. They don’t make your insides feel jittery and nervous all the time. 

You're lounging on Kai’s bed one afternoon and you're halfheartedly trying to get some studying done, and Kai’s supposedly helping. In reality, Kai's spent the last eight minutes mouthing lazily at your shoulder, and you're five seconds from giving up completely.

“You are a bad influence,” you complain, tossing down your pen and twisting to reach for him.

Kai, who is no longer half on top of you, is sitting up against the headboard looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Woah, I didn’t say it was something I wasn’t inclined to be persuaded by. Come back here.”

“Do your work,” Kai says firmly. 

“Kai—”

“It’s college, Dal,” Kai says softly. “I can wait.”

“But—” you make grabby hands. “There was supposed to be kissing!”

The smile you get doesn’t reach Kai’s eyes, and there’s tension in the air all afternoon.

*

“You wanna split?” you ask.

Kai looks up at you with wide-eyed and with heart hammering hard in his chest just to see you waving the last brownie in front of his face. Relief washes over him and you send him a funny look. He swallows hard, "It's all yours."

You shift to look at him on the couch. You know Kai pretty damn well. You know the way Kai looks first thing in the morning, and his terrible eating habits, you know about his love for hydrangeas and what makes his body tick. You can tell by the way Kai’s holding himself he’s almost…poised for a fight. You sigh and get up off the couch.

“Dal?”

“I’ll be right back,” you say, disappearing to the front door and grabbing one of your boots. When you get back to the couch Kai’s frowning, and he’s even more tense than before. You drop the sneaker onto the table with a flourish.

“There.”

Kai looks between you and the shoe. “What.”

“That’s the other shoe, Kai. It has officially dropped.”

He's blinking at you now. “I don’t—”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I—”

“You keep acting like I’m gonna disappear, or like you’re gonna do something wrong and I’m gonna run screaming from you,” you say, waving your hand at him. “Kai, I know you. We've been through so much . You once slashed someone's throat in front of me. I saved you dozens of time, and vice versa. I've literally brought you back from the dead. I like you. Okay? You know that already. I love your smartass comments, and the way you look out for the boys, and your dumb lips and I just—you don’t need to worry, ever, about me being someone else who’s gonna hurt you.”

Kai stays very still for a moment, and then tugs you down on top of him, wordlessly nudging your face up with his nose until you make eye contact.

“My dumb lips?”

“Yeah, especially those,” you hum fondly, thumbing at Kai's bottom lip. “You get me?” you clutch his jaw firmly and hold his gaze. “Because as nice as it is to get away with everything, I kind of miss you being a crosspatch.”

Kai snorts, leans to rest his forehead against your collarbone. “I get it,” he says finally.

“Can we get more brownies? I think I squashed that one with my shoe.”

“It was impressively dramatic,” Kai points out.

“You know me,” you squirm in his lap. “I like to make a scene.”

“Technically, a shoe on the table is bad luck.”

“I think we’ve reached the quota for that this century.”

Kai’s eyes drag over your face and then he smiles, the much more sincere, tiny one that makes you feel like you're basking in the sun. “I hope so.”

Hey there apple fritter pie sandwiches :)

So RWW has recently reaches 8k subscribers, which is really amazing. I'm still in awe of how many people actually read that thing. I FEEL VERY BLESSED.

From other news, I really wanted to do something creative lately aaand since I don't have photoshop anymore (bc my laptop broke and I'm using my grandma's laptop which is a 32-bit with only one disc, LOL) and I really craved some nice aesthetic and idk SOMETHING I made Dal a tumblr. Lololol. Idk even but here it is if anyone wants to check it out. I'm not sure I'm gonna actually blog there, but it's there and it turned out nice and purple-y and pastel-y and yeah, I had fun making it lol

And I just wanted to tell you that I'm really thankful for all of you and that I love you. There's that. Thanks for being here for me and for being great readers and companions. I'm sending you my love and feels.