Title: Regrets

Author: hangarianne

Requested by: RisaKim / syera93

Characters: Jaebum / You (Risa)

Disclaimer: This is a GOT7 fan fiction originally written by hangarianne. Any similarities to real-life persons, situations, places, etc. are coincidental. No copyright infringement intended.

--------------------------------

Your POV

Jaebum and I have known each other since we were kids. Our parents grew up together so it’s no surprise that he and I met and eventually became good friends, too. We always hanged out together – be it at school or at home. I’ve always loved his company because he‘s a fun, adorable boy who loves to joke around. I must say that he really has a great personality. Not only that, he’s smart and good-looking, too. He’s the perfect package; the dream guy of every girl – including me.

Back when we were kids, he asked me if I wanted to marry him. I wanted to say ‘yes’ but we were nine or ten years old back then. I thought he didn’t really mean it or he didn’t understand what he’s asking me. Playing safe, I told him to ask me the same question when we’re on our twenties. He simply agreed then proceeded like nothing happened so I thought he was joking. But on my twentieth birthday, my family prepared a little surprise for me. Mom cooked a small feast and invited close friends and relatives. It was a nice evening until...

Flashback

“Hey...” Jaebum approached me and gave me a hug. I fake a smile at him.

“Can we... talk?” My heart started pounding fast. I know where this is leading. I’ve been avoiding him on purpose but now he’s got me cornered.

“Risa? Are you okay?” I look at his eyes that are then full of concern. He probably could tell that I’m worried about something.

“Huh? Uh, I’m okay. Sure, what is it?”

“Can’t we talk in private?”

“This is private. They won’t hear us...”

Jaebum sighs, looks around then drags me with him. “I need to be alone with you...”

We went to the garden and sat on one of the benches there.

“Uhm, so remember what I asked you ten years ago?”

I pretended to not know. “What? Which one? I don’t think I remember anything...”

Jaebum nervously laughs then says, “It’s okay... I’ll just ask you again...” He takes out a small blue box out of his pocket. He clears his throat. “Risa... I’ve always liked you... No... I’ve always loved you.... Spending almost every day with you... I’ve naturally come to like you. I’ve fallen for you. I know you feel the same, too. I can feel it. I can see it in your eyes. I can tell from your actions. And like ten years ago, I’m going to ask you again... Will you marry me?”

“...Jaebum...”

“I know it’s too fast but I really want to marry you. Please marry me...” He then kneels in front of me and offers me a ring.

This time I gave him a definite answer. “No. I’m sorry...”

Before he could change my mind, I stand and walk away. He tries to stop me, “What? But didn’t you tell me then that I should ask you this when we’re on our twenties? Well, we are now. So why are you rejecting me?

I had my back facing him and I didn’t bother to look at him. I didn’t want him to see my tears. I have to reject him. “I never said I won’t reject you, right?” I tell him coldly.

“I never thought you’d do this to me... How could you be so cruel? How could you coldly reject me? You could’ve told me right from the start that you didn’t like me instead of leading me on! We were already ten years old that time, Risa! TEN FREAKING YEARS OLD! You’re not dumb and you can already think by yourself at that age! What’s so hard about telling me politely, ‘Jaebum, I’m sorry but I don’t like you back’??!!”

From the way he spoke, I could tell Jaebum was close to crying. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him that I really do love him back but I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.

And so I left and he never spoke to me again after that.

End of Flashback

As I lay in my bed, I can only think of all the memories that we shared – both good and bad. The last few months have been really difficult for me. Without Jaebum by my side, I’ve lost hope that I’ll get through this. I’ve lost the strength to continue fighting. I have no reason to live anymore. Living without him will be useless. He‘s my everything and I already lost him.

I guess I have nothing else to do but to finally accept my fate. I won’t be necessarily leaving you, Jae... I’ll get to watch over you better from up there...

Before my vision slowly dimmed, I smile at my family one last time. I wanted to tell them that it’s all better now – that I’ll be in a better place. I’ll be happy and they should be, too...

--------------------------------

Jaebum's POV

After Risa rejected me, I stopped talking to her and never showed myself to her again. She tried to contact me, telling me that she doesn't want our friendship to go to waste. I thought, ‘how could she say such thing when she led me on? She herself wasted whatever we had. She made a fool out of me; how can she expect me to act like nothing happened?’

Months passed and my parents noticed that Risa and I haven't been talking. They tried to convince me to tell them whatever it was that happened but I didn't. I couldn't. They also tried to get me to visit Risa but I didn't, eithe