Chapter 46

He didn’t like lying to Luhan but Xiumin knew he would have asked too many questions if he had known he was meeting up with Suho. Xiumin had a lot of questions himself about why his leader had suddenly texted him but it was best not to think about them right now. He tapped his foot nervously against the stairs as he waited.

“Hi.”

He jumped and stood up at the sound of Suho’s voice.

“I’m glad you came.”

“What’s wrong?” Xiumin could only think that Suho would want to see him because something bad had happened.

For a moment Suho just stood there looking at him and then he threw his arms around his neck and pulled him close. Xiumin’s eyes widened and he froze for a second before gently hugging him back.

“Sorry,” said Suho as he pulled away, “I didn’t mean to do that. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too, all of you,” Xiumin said in a tight voice.

Suho sighed and sat down on the bottom stair with Xiumin beside him. “I wish you were still with us,” he said quietly. “I really need someone to talk to.”

Xiumin placed his hand on his alpha’s knee. He knew he had never led a pack before and had spoken to Xiumin so many times about how to be a good leader. Now he was on his own.

“What’s wrong?”

“I saw Sehun with Lay in the library,” he admitted. “They were… I don’t know, happy? Sehun’s determined to be with him. He wasn’t even worried about me catching them.”

“Did you argue?”

Suho shook his head. “They don’t know I saw them. I didn’t say anything.”

That was a surprise. He had expected Suho to barge in and pull the maknae away.

“Do you think Lay really loves him?”

“Yes. He seems nice. I don’t think he would ever hurt Sehun on purpose.”

Suho sighed. “I know but…”

“What?”

“I wish you could come home,” he said avoiding the question. “If you want to you can.”

Xiumin’s heart did a somersault. “Really? You would accept me back?” He grabbed Suho’s hand, unable to hide the happy surprise on his face.

“Of course, it’s your home. I was just angry the other night. Finding out like that…”

“I’m sorry. We should have told you earlier.”

“I know why you didn’t. I just thought you could trust me. You’re always the one I confide in. I thought you could tell me anything.”

“I can but I was scared you would make me leave for breaking the rules.”

Suho groaned and slumped forward. He wrapped his arms over his knees and buried his face in them. “I’ve messed everything up, haven’t I?”

“You can still fix it,” Xiumin soothed, patting his shoulder.  “I’ll come home and then you can let Sehun and Lay be together too.”

“No!” He jerked upright. “I can’t.”

“W-why not?”

“I don’t want them to be together. If you come home you can’t let him know that I said it was ok for you and Luhan to be together. Please?”

Xiumin’s brain felt like it was working very slowly. Had he missed something? He blinked a few times and then finally found his voice. “I don’t understand. If you’re ok with me and Luhan…”

“It’s different.”

“How? They’re in love too.”

“Because he’s the maknae,” exclaimed Suho. He was starting to sound panicked. “It’s different. He’s never been in love before. How do we know Lay isn’t taking advantage of him?”

“Suho…” Xiumin gently reprimanded. They both knew that wasn’t the case.

“I don’t want to lose him. If he’s with Lay then who do I have? I’m supposed to protect my weakest and youngest members and keep them happy. They aren’t supposed to go running off with strange wolves from other packs.”

“You know that’s not what happened.”

“No!” Suho leapt to his feet. His eyes were wide like he was a cornered animal. “I’m sorry. Just forget I said any of this.”

“You can’t keep them apart if they’re determined to be together. You’ll lose him if you don’t give them a chance.”

“Just leave me alone.” He started to walk away, ignoring Xiumin who called after him. “Just forget I even came here.”

He disappeared down the stairs and Xiumin sat back with a groan. He had always known Suho was protective over Sehun but never like this. It must be lonely, he thought, being an alpha. But he was going to get a lot more lonely if he kept trying to cling to his packmate so tightly.

The bed was warm and comfortable but the best thing about waking up the next morning was the feel of Kris’s hand up and down his arm. He smiled a little and felt Kris nuzzle his neck.

“Good morning, baby.”

Chen whined a little and stretched out his legs. “What time is it?” he grumbled in a rough voice.

“Don’t worry.” Kris kissed under his ear. “We have plenty of time.”

He hadn’t pushed things with Chen the night before and they hadn’t really talked about where things were going form here but it had been nice anyway. It had been relaxing compared to the stress of the past few days. They didn’t bother to talk now either, instead lying in bed with Chen tucked snugly against his partner’s body.

It was a while before they were interrupted by the sound of Chen’s phone ringing. He groaned.

“Ignore it,” said Kris in a husky voice but Chen couldn’t. He pulled away slightly and peered through half-closed eyes over the side of the bed. His phone was still in his jacket pocket on the floor. With a grunt he reached out and tugged his jacket closer, extricating the phone. Chanyeol’s name was lit up on the screen.

“Hello?” he mumbled.

“Chen!  Where are you? You didn’t sleep in your bed last night. We were worried sick.”

He smiled a little and lay back down. Kris wrapped an arm around his waist and wriggled closer.

“Actually,” he said, feeling a little shy, “I stayed with Kris last night.”

“What!?”

His eyes flew open at Chanyeol’s tone.

“But he bit you!”

“I-it’s not like that.”

“Yesterday you were scared of him and now you’re jumping into bed with him? Did he make you do something?”

Chen’s stomach had turned into knots. He could hear Baekhyun in the background asking what was going on and Chanyeol explaining, still sounding shocked, what had happened. Behind him Kris had gone tense, able to hear every word.

“He didn’t do anything,” he said softly, uncertainly. He really hadn’t intended to do anything more than give Kris his gift since he already had it and somehow he had ended up spending the night. The bandages on his arm rubbed against the bed sheet as he shifted uncomfortably, reminding him of what had happened. He felt like an idiot.

“Just, please come home, ok?”

There was a soft growl behind him that made him shiver. “Ok.” He hung up before Chanyeol could say anything to make Kris even more angry.

“I have to go,” he said tossing aside the covers, all tiredness forgotten.

“What, is he your boyfriend now?”

Chen turned, sitting on the edge of the bed. Kris was glaring at him, angry and hurt. “No!” he said, “of course not.”

“Then why is he acting like it. I thought it was only Suho I had to worry about.”

“Suho? What are you talking about?”

Kris sat up and put his hands on Chen’s waist. The younger boy shrank away slightly.

“They’re both so protective of you and I’m the one who’s supposed to protect you, not them.”

“Yeah, well, you bit me.” He tried to move out of Kris’s suddenly limp grip but couldn’t before he saw the hurt flash across his face. He closed his eyes for a second and swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“You know I would never hurt you on purpose. It was an accident.”

“I know but… it scared me and I’m not sure if I’m ok with that yet.”

“Chen,” said Kris softly. He tried to touch him again and this time it took a lot of willpower for Chen to avoid him. He got up off the bed and pulled his jeans and jacket back on.

“I have to go home,” he said in a stronger voice than he had thought himself capable of at that moment. “I’ll see you later.”

“Please don’t go,” Kris begged. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” said Chen exasperated, “but it’s not that easy.”

“Why not?” Kris was kneeling up on the bed now and Chen was almost to the door.

“Because things are complicated. Because I’m useless at being a wolf and I can’t even shift properly and you shouldn’t want me in the first place. I know I should just be grateful that someone likes me and forgive you but I keep thinking about when you bit me and it scares me. I thought you would protect me.”

“I –I will,” Kris stuttered, surprised.

“I’m sorry.” Chen shrugged and opened the door, “but I just don’t see that right now.”

“But what about last night?”

“Last night was… I’m sorry.”

“Chen, wait. Just tell me there’s a chance.”

“I just need more time,” he said, hoping that Kris would understand and not just think he was playing games.

He lowered his head, unable to look at Kris anymore and left the room. He closed the door on Kris’s voice as he called after him to stop. He had wanted to say that last night everything had felt different, had felt right, but now he was lost again. Now he didn’t want to forgive Kris for scaring him the way he had, even if he still wanted to be with him more than anything.