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Chapter 31

“I’m so stupid,” said Luhan. “He said he loved me.”

He was sitting on his bed now, his head resting on his new pack mate’s shoulder and Chen’s arms securely around him. His eyes were still red-rimmed though his tears seemed to have subsided. He had confessed to sleeping with Xiumin, although Chen had already worked that much out for himself, and explained about what he had overheard him saying to Baekhyun. Chen had listened patiently throughout but he spoke now.

“You’re not stupid,” he said gently, his shoulder, “and I’m sure Xiumin wouldn’t say that if he didn’t mean it. He’s a nice guy.”

Luhan sniffled. “Yeah, right. He said all that stuff to Baekhyun when he thought I wasn’t there.”

“But he’s been calling and testing to apologise ever since. I’m sure he had a reason for saying it. Maybe he was just trying to throw Baekhyun off the scent.” He looked down hopefully but Luhan was staring blankly at the floor. It didn’t seem like he believed him.

“What did you mean before,” he asked after a few moments, “when you said you made this mistake before. Has there been someone else outside of the pack?”

Luhan shook his head and finally lifted it from Chen’s shoulder. “No,” he whispered, “it was before I came here. In my old school I didn’t have a pack. There were no other wolves that I knew of and I kept it pretty quiet that I was one too, just in case.”

Chen understood. Some people weren’t so comfortable about teenage wolves mixing with their children at school.

“There was a guy,” Luhan continued. “He was older than me and really popular. Everyone wanted to be with him and when he started paying attention to me I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was so lucky.” He gave an unhappy smile. “He said he loved me too but then I found out he was sleeping around with so many other people. Turns out he just wanted to say he had slept with a wolf.”

Luhan gave a bitter laugh and Chen hugged him again. He was lucky to have Kris who had seen so many bad moments for him and was still there. “Was he your first?” he asked quietly.

Luhan nodded. “I thought he loved me. I can’t believe I made the same mistake again.”

“This isn’t the same. Xiumin’s a good person. He wouldn’t use you like that and I’m sure he’s not sleeping with anyone else.”

Luhan looked over at him, frowning. “Shouldn’t you be trying to keep us apart? We broke both our leader’s rules by being together.”

There was no answer. Chen just looked away.

“Are you going to tell Kris?”

“I- I should.”

“Please don’t.” Luhan clutched his hands. “It’s over now. No one needs to know.”

Chen wavered.  He didn’t want to get either of his friends in trouble but he didn’t want to lie to Kris either. Maybe, if things really were over…

“Ok,” he gave in, “but if you two get back together you need to tell everyone what’s going on.  I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Luhan was shaking his head before Chen had even stopped speaking. “No, we’re not getting back together. I don’t want anything to do with him.”

Chen sighed and stood up as he heard the front door open. He could hear Kris’s voice. “Just read what he sent you,” he told Luhan, passing him his phone. “He’s not the same as that other guy.”

Luhan didn’t answer but he held his phone tightly and as soon as Chen had left the room he looked down at it. He had ten missed calls, all from Xiumin, and almost as many text messages. He scrolled through them, a lump forming in his throat with every apology he read. But all he could hear were Xiumin’s words to Baekhyun and how he had dismissed everything the two of them had together to someone who didn’t even realise what he was talking about.

Switching the phone off so he didn’t have to be disturbed by it anymore, Luhan lay down on his side and wiped away the tears now falling from his eyes.

Kyungsoo stood up straight and ran a hand through his hair. He was done, thank God, and hadn’t bumped into Kai at all on his visit to his pack’s dorm. Relieved, he shouldered his bag and turned to the bedroom door.

“Kyungsoo!”

. He looked down, not wanting to even see Kai’s face right now. He tried to walk forward boldly but stopped when he realised his ex wasn’t about to move out of the doorway.

“Where are you going?” asked Kai. He sounded worried. Kyungsoo pretended it didn’t upset him.

“There’s a spare bed in Chen’s room. He said I could stay there instead.”

“You’re moving out?”  Kai panicked. “You can’t. This is your home.”

“It doesn’t feel much like a home right now. Let me past.”

He stepped forward again but Kai reached out to stop him, pausing just short of making contact. Kyungsoo leant away from him.

“Please just talk to me. I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to happen.”

“You never meant for me to see.”

“I’m sorry,” he begged. “Kyungsoo, I love you. I know I don’t deserve a second chance but please…”

“You’re right, you don’t.”

He pushed past Kai, holding his breath as their bodies briefly made contact. He was out in the corridor when Kai caught his arm. It made Kyungsoo shiver and he couldn’t quite make himself pull away.

“Please, just tell me what I can do to make it better.”

“Go back in time and stop it from happening.” He meant for the words to be harsh and angry but he just sounded upset. Damn it, just being around Kai had him falling apart already.

“I wish I could. Please just talk to me about it.”

“Ok, fine.” Kyungsoo finally slipped out of Kai’s grip and took a deep breath. He looked him in the eye. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No, of course not!”

“But he had been back since Friday, that’s what I heard. That’s plenty of time for you to have starting sleeping together again.”

“It was only a couple of days.”

“It’s not like you haven’t slept together before.”

“Kyungsoo, I promise you it was only kissing, nothing else.”

Throat so tight he could barely speak, Kyungsoo answered, “How can I believe you? You were all over him.”

“I was just surprised. He can back out of nowhere. When I saw him at the party-“

“At the party!? On the Friday?”

Kai’s hands trembled and he opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before managing, “Kyungie I’m sorry.”

“Did you kiss him then too?”

He nodded, tears filling his eyes. Kyungsoo felt himself deflate. He wasn’t even surprised anymore. How was this the same Kai that had held him in bed and told him he loved him so many time? How could he look at him so lovingly and then kiss someone else without even thinking of him?

“I don’t even know you anymore,” he said, voice cracking.

“I’m still me. I just made a mistake.”

Kyungsoo shook his head and stepped away. “This is killing me, Jongin.”

Kai choked at the sound of his given name. “I’m sorry. He just… he broke my heart and then he came back and…”

“And then you broke mine.” A tear fell as Kyungsoo spoke but he didn’t wipe it away.  He wanted Kai to know how much this hurt him and how much he hated it. With blurry eyes Kyungsoo could hardly see the devastated expression on Kai’s face but he knew he was crying too. Hurriedly he turned away and left the dorm, thankful and sad at the same time that Kai didn’t try and follow.