http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDSiT4nAEZU --> MY NEW DISCOVERY. KHALIL FONG. AKJSDFAAJKHSFD IT'S CHINESE BUT WHAT THE HECK IT'S SO EARGASMIC.

-Haerin's POV-

I woke up the next day feeling awful. No forget that, i actually don't remember if i even slept at all. And how. But judging from the puffiness of my eyes and a trace of stuffiness in my nose, i knew i cried myself to sleep. I slowly sat up from the sofa and looked around the dorm. As usual, no one was home. Everytime i get a chance to sleep in Taemin's dorm, i always find myslef alone in the morning. I don't know why, but i honestly don't feel like knowing anyway. Well they are idols so they probably have hectic schedules. Feeling drained, i went to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. I was about to open the refrigerator when i saw a post-it sticked to the door of the fridge. 

To your left is a year supply of spicy rice cakes. Don't think that because we won't see each other, i won't make you your favorite food anymore. Oh and by the time you read this, i'll probably be on MBC doing that interview. You should watch :)

I looked to my left and there it was. A huge pyrex container filled with ddeokbeokki. I felt angry. If this was my house then i would have thrown a bunch of plates to the floor. That guy..he's just..he's..You just CAN'T give someone a piece of yourself if you know you won't see each other again. How do you expect me to forget you if i have this huge reminder of you. That's NOT how the breakup process work. When you break up, you leave nothing behind. No memories, and no reminders to tell us about that memories. And all that. But then you do this, and now i just have to take it because i dont want to live with the guilt of making you cook your for nothing. Im not a mean person, but you definitely are. 

I went back to the living room and switched on the tv. I flipped through the channels until i finally saw him on the screen. He was calm like always, but i could tell in his eyes that he had a lot in his mind. Of course, the eyes are the windows to the soul after all.

---

The television screen flashed a huge picture of that picture with me and Jinyoung. And then it went back to the host and Taemin beside him. I can't bear to see this. I don't know why i feel so scared. Not exactly scared, but it was a type of feeling that i couldn't express in words. I felt things swirling in my stomach and my hands were feeling cold. My heart was starting to beat faster and faster by the second and i couldn't hear anything else around me except for what im supposed to hear. I wasn't scared, nor was i nervous. I wasn't mad too nor was i worried or sad. I don't know what you call it, but it was pretty much aLl those feelings mixed into one. And it was a sickening kind of feeling too. It was a new kind of emotion that only he made me feel. 

The host looked at Taemin. The guy didn't ask any questions because it was pretty obvious what the question is. Taemin took a deep breath.

"That picture doesn't affect me anymore. I think it's fair to let everybody know that we just ended yesterday.", he started. The host had a shocked look on his face, and so is everyone else who probably watched it on their tvs. "You know what's funny though? When i first saw the picture, i only noticed Haerin and how amazing she looked. I was so focused on her and how she was so perfect that i didnt notice that there was someone with her. We didn't break up because of Jinyoung, or because of anyone else like that. For reasons i can't tell you, but if there's one thing that i can, it's that i still love her."

He took out what looked like a small notebook in his pocket. "I know i still do because if i don't then i still wouldn't have this with me. 

"May we know what's inside it?", the host finally asked.

"I don't see why not", he said.

He handed him the little notebook and showed it to him. The host then read it.

"It's a list..", he said, looking through the pages.

"Yeah. I wanted to spend a lot of time with Haerin so i made a list of things that i think we should do together. List of movies that we still have to watch. Nice places we haven't visited. Restaurants i like that we haven't been to, and even songs that i like that she hasn't listened to yet. We still have a lot of talks and fights to be had too. But yeah, things don't always work out the way i want it too. 

I turned off the tv. I wrapped my arms around my knees and hid myself under my own arms. I honestly don't know what to do or even what to say. Im stuck between wanting to do what I want and what I'm supposed to do. I want to stay, but i know i have to leave.

Isn't it weird? How you'd always find your ways to me and i always push you away. And now that you're almost gone, i want you to stay? Well it's too late. No use of crying over spilled milk. But before i leave, i want to take all these burden out once and for all. I just want to tell him everything i wanted to say to him without getting drunk. To just get it all out. I took a deep breath and got my phone.

Just do it, Haerin. This is the last time you're ever going to.

---

-Taemin's POV-

Beep beep Beep beep Bee-

I took out my phone and checked it. It was from Haerin. 

Hi. Im in the bus stop right now. Need to tell you something really important. 

I closed my eyes for a minute. Taking in as much air, and slowly exhaling. I can't do this. I can't see her anymore. It hurts too much on my part. As early as right now, i need to take a step back. She has no idea how much i want to see her for the last time. But seeing her again would make it so hard to forget everything, considering the fact that she had already made an imprint on me that was already so hard to erase to begin with. 

I can't go. Whatever you need to tell me, you dont have to anymore. Starting today, i can't see you anymore and you on me, like what manager hyung said. Take care always. 

Within less than a minute, my phone beeped.

I'm not leaving this bus stop until you come here. I'm not joking.

She's joking. With the freezing weather outside? She's joking. 

---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QhVVCHYSyk 

-Haerin's POV-

I checked my phone for the time.

5:25PM.

Im serious. I'm not leaving until i say what needs to be said. Im going to stay frozen to this ice cold seat if i have to.

Once in a while, i glance at my phone and see how much time it passed. Feels like every passing minute, the air gets chillier and colder. 

6:15PM

6:52PM

7:31PM

8:01PM

I'm sighed heavily. Maybe he's not coming aft-

"YAH!", i hear a familiar voice and turned around. He hurriedly walked towards me. "What are still doing sitting out here in the cold?? I told you i wasn't coming!", he yelled. 

"But you came..", i mumbled.

"I..it..It doesn't matter!", he said, awkwardly clearing his throat. 

I couldn't get myself to speak up for a number of reasons. One, im too cold to move my lips [if that's possible], and two, i just sort of wanted to look at him again while i still can.

He felt my forehead and then my hands. 

"Why are you so cold? How long have you been waiting here?", he asks worriedly

"I don't know. A minute and a half"

"Quit joking. How long have you been sitting here?"

"Just about the same amount of time as the number of red cars passed by. 142 times."

He looked at me for the longest time, and then looked away. "Can you do me one last favor? Stop getting yourself in trouble, okay? I can't worry about you anymore..because i wont be there when something happens to you. Can you just do that one simple thing?"

I nodded and he stood up. He was about to leave but my words stopped him.

"Sorry.", i mumbled but loud enough for only him to hear to stop walking.

"Sorry for everything. Im sorry if im always so mean to you. Im sorry for the harsh words i said. Im sorry for always hanging up on you when you call me. And for yelling at you. And for not being grateful for the things that you do for me, im sorry. Because i dont know how to express myself and i get frustrated and angry when i cant. And so i throw my anger at you."

Cold tears rolled down my cheeks. The whole time i was looking down at my shoes. Maybe he's still standing there and listening to me, or maybe he already left. 

"Stand up"

I slowly stood up and he pulled me in for a hug.

Just in time, the last bus arrived at the stop and he slowly let me go. 

"You should go.", he finally said. "Goodbye Kim Haerin. It was a pleasure to have met you", he said it so soflty that i could barely make out the words coming out of his mouth. 

I nodded in reply. I steped inside the bus and sat near the window and saw him looking at me. He appeared smaller and smaller and finally gone as the bus drove off. 

---

-Narrator's POV-

And later that same evening, Taemin sat down at the corner of his bed. He sat there quietly and looked at some far, non-existent distance, trying to imagine a future without the person he thought would be his future.

---

Pretty long i know. idk about this chapter. it's like gahhh i dunno what to feel. Didnt want to cut it cause then id be ruining the "moment" lol. BTW my friend told me about this fic called Absolute Chanyeol and OHMYGOD I READ IT AND I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. How could such a fic be written so perfectly.. OTL  And i read it while listening to the saddest track on the secret garden ost - guardian angel. TEARS ARE OVERFLOWING MAN, TEARS ARE OVERINGFLOWING.