WEDDING DRESS

Aish, look at you,” Jaejoong's mother said, leaning into him and ruffling his blonde hair. “Looking like a delinquent at your own sister's wedding! Couldn't you have at least dyed it back for today?”

“Sorry, umma, but we're leaving for Japan in a few days, and there's no room in my schedule to get it bleached again before I go back.”

“And why is it that your Japanese fans need to see you with this silly hair color, anyways? What's so wrong with the beautiful dark hair your parents gave you, hmmm?”

“Nothing. I'm sure I'll have it back by time I come back to Korea again, all right?” He looked at her over his shoulder. “Shouldn't you be with Dayoung noona right now?”

“With all your sisters jamming up the place, I thought I'd come out for some fresh air and see my favorite groomsman.” She patted his shoulders. “The guests are all coming in. I never thought I'd attend a wedding for one of my children with so many celebrities in one place. Although perhaps I will again someday. For you.”

Jaejoong smiled thinly. “I don't know if that's possible, umma.”

“Maybe not, but who would have thought my shy and withdrawn son would open up and become one of the nation's top vocalists? I wouldn't say anything is impossible. Not for you.” She patted him again. “Now stop fussing in front of the mirror and go greet your future brother-in-law. I'm sure he's anxious about now.”

“Stan-ssi? I don't think I've ever seen him anxious before.”

“Seeing him in the recording studio is one matter. Women have the power to upend men that puts everything else to shame.”

“Do they? How would I know?”

“Oh, you.” She pinched his cheeks affectionately. “Your sister does, at least. Just wait until you see his face when he looks at her in her wedding dress. You'll see it then.”

Jaejoong went to the back of the church where Stan and the rest of the groomsmen were waiting. He'd cleaned up nicely, his typically upswept hair now lying flat, covering the designs shaved on his scalp. When he saw Jaejoong, he smiled and shook his hand warmly. “I'm sure you have enough brothers-in-law by now, but thanks for accepting me into the family, anyways,” he said. “I'll take good care of Dayoungie.”

“I know you will. You've done a great job of looking after her up until now... not that she needs much looking after.”

“Yes, she certainly can take care of herself. You've always been the one she's wanted me to look after more. And you're also reaching the point where you can look after yourself, as long as your members are around.” He sighed. “If only the world you live in could just be about singing... even though all three of C&M's groups are shining, we can rarely foresee when lightning will strike just because one of you decides to live your life. You saw that little brief on Yunho and Gaeun in the Dispatch, right?”

Jaejoong nodded.

“Neither of your fanbases believe it, but the Starkiss's fanbase did believe the bit about Gaeun-ssi wanting to get married soon. Most likely because it's true, and they know the girls well enough, even though Gaeun's never gone public with the relationship. A lot of them aren't happy, either. Starkiss is a real competitive force in the industry, and Soorin's exploding as a singer and song-writer for the group. They're better than they've ever been, and fans are concerned about the possibility of Gaeun leaving at their peak. These are the kinds of things that are tricky to protect them from, and you as well. I keep telling your sister that nothing will happen, but there's only so much someone like me can do when you're up against the world's opinions.”

“It's like you said, though,” Jaejoong said, smiling. “It's fine. As long as I have my members. I'll be fine.”

“I'll do my part for all of you, too. I have my own family, and I'll be joining yours today as well, but C&M is also home. I only wish the best for DBSK, Starkiss, and B.P.M.” He shook his head and smiled again. “No offense, though, but I'm putting you guys out of my mind professionally for the rest of the day. Right about now, all I care about is getting married to your sister.”

“And as long as you're happy together, I'm happy, too.”

They all went together to the front of the church to await Dayoung's arrival. Jaejoong's eyes sought out s, and he found them sitting on the groom's side with Starkiss and B.P.M. All of them looked smart in their formal wear, so much so that Jaejoong could clearly see some of his cousins on the bride's side eagerly preening to catch their attention. To his surprise, he couldn't see Yunho with Junsu, Yoochun, and Changmin, so he scanned the room curiously, trying to pick him out from the expansive guest list. When he finally did find him, his heart almost stopped. Instead of choosing to sit with the others on the groom's side, he was seated with Jaejoong's family on the bride's side, deep in conversation with his grandfather, who he'd met at Jaejoong's birthday party last year. Jaejoong didn't know whether he'd gone there by choice or if his family had asked him over to talk, but still the sight of him sitting there raised an odd feeling in his chest. He looks just like he belongs there, he thought. And he does.

Yunho lifted his eyes to look up at him and smiled sweetly. He looked so beautiful in his freshly pressed suit, his long hair trimmed back a little and swept across his forehead. It was the same face Jaejoong saw day after day, but it still made his heart throb when he looked at it. He stood up beside the altar, blankly starring back as tears collected in his eyes. It had hit him, all of a sudden, what Hi Stan had said. He had his family. He had the members and the friends he'd been able to make since joining C&M. But Yunho was a home of a different kind for him. He wanted everything he had to belong to him, for him to continue to become a part of his real family, even if it couldn't happen as formally as the ceremony he was taking part in.

Looking good, Yunho mouthed to him, giving a small wave. Jaejoong waved back, barely trying to repress his smile. I'm the happiest I've ever been, he thought, Yunho's words ringing in his head. I wish things could stay like this forever.

The organist took her seat in front of her instrument and began to play the first notes of her wedding march. Already, Jaejoong had seen many sisters through this exact same thing, but always there was that breathless moment of anticipation before they walked into the church, resplendent in their white dresses and happy smiles. He waited for that moment when Dayoung turned the corner and faced the congregation for the first time, and turned to look at Stan's face upon seeing her. Sure enough, he was completely upended, just as his mother said he would be. He'd never imagined Stan would ever cry, but there were traces of tears clinging to the corner of his eyes when he looked at the person he loved.

Before looking back to face Dayoung, Jaejoong turned to glance at Yunho one more time, meeting a pair of eyes that were gazing back at him. The look in their eyes isn't so different, Jaejoong thought, his breath catching. The circumstances are different, the limitations and restrictions are different... but that look... those eyes can't mean anything else but love.

0o0

As a part of the wedding party, Jaejoong's attention was monopolized during the beginning part of the reception with all the toasts, speeches, food pushed under their noses, and guests approaching their table to wish his sister and Hi Stan a happy future, including a blinding Hyunsoo nim in a lemon yellow suit. He didn't have much of a chance to see s with how occupied he was, but he glanced over to their table from time to time. Changmin was of course taking full advantage of the buffet, and Saehee and Minjun were attracting plenty of jealous stares from around the room as they fed each other appetizers from their plates. No one at the party was allowed to take pictures of the C&M idols without their permission, but Jaejoong could see a few of the non-celebrity guests sneaking out their phones anyways to grab a few candid photos. Jaejoong could only hope no one was planning on doing anything that could be caught by the tabloids later, and made a mental note to keep an eye on Shinwon and Chansik in particular just in case.

When the first dance began, he did his duty as a groomsman and escorted one of his sisters to the dance floor, watching as other dancers began to assemble around them. Brie waltzed past with Jongwoo, and Soorin had for some reason grabbed Changmin as a dance partner, even though he was almost two heads taller than her and had to stoop to hold her in the right position. Jaejoong scanned the floor for Yunho, but didn't see him anywhere. He wasn't in any hurry to catch Yunho dancing someone else, but since they probably wouldn't be doing any slow dancing together, he was somewhat surprised he wouldn't at least take one dance out of a courtesy, whether it was with Gaeun or one of Jaejoong's enthusiastic cousins.

As soon as the dance ended, Jaejoong darted off the floor and caught up with Yunho, who was grabbing drinks at the bar when Jaejoong tapped on his shoulder. He turned around, but the face that greeted him wasn't Yunho's. The man had a similar hairstyle, and was of course wearing the same generic black suit most of the guys at the wedding were wearing, but upon closer examination, he was a bit shorter than Yunho and didn't have the same small face Yunho prided himself on. However, there was something about him that struck Jaejoong him as familiar, as if he knew him from somewhere. Of course, he'd seen plenty of Hi Stan's industry buddies on the job, but he could have sworn that this person was someone he was more used to seeing in the audience rather than backstage or in the sound room.

“Oh, Jaejoong-ssi!” the man said, his eyes lighting up. “We haven't had the chance to meet yet, have we? I'm Hwang Younghyun-- Gaeun ah's boyfriend?”

Ah. Him. “No, we haven't met yet,” Jaejoong said, bowing politely. “But I think I've seen you around at company events, right?”

“Yeah, that was probably me. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't notice, to be honest. I've trained myself to fade into the background when it comes to going to Gaeun's events. We've had a nice long streak of not getting caught, so I try to keep it going for her.”

Jaejoong racked his brain, remembering the details about Younghyun that Soorin had once told him. “You've been dating Gaeun noona since before debut, right?”

He nodded. “I've been with her since becoming an idol was the impossible dream. Honestly, when she went off to Seoul to audition and actually made it, I didn't think I'd ever be seeing her again. I even tried to break up with her to set her free so she wasn't tied down when she made it big, but she insisted that I would regret it if I didn't wait for her.” Younghyun laughed. “And I would have, too. A lot of it has been long distance before I came here for my university studies, but being together with her is still the happiest thing that's ever happened to me. Plus, I've gotten to go to a lot of C&M concerts for free as a perk. I was even at your Seoul concert for O. Gaeun and I went incognito together.”

“Did you have a good time?”

“I had a great time.” He lowered his voice. “Don't tell Gaeun this, but I'm just as big of a DBSK fan as I am of Starkiss. Your lives are ridiculously good.”

“Thanks for saying so.”

“By the way...” He started fidgeting a little. “These rumors about Gaeun and Yunho-ssi...”

Jaejoong blinked in surprise. “You don't believe them, do you?”

“No! Definitely not. I'm usually with Gaeun when she's not on schedule or with Starkiss, so she'd have to make a pretty concentrated effort to cheat on me, especially considering how busy Yunho-ssi is. Not that I think she would ever cheat to begin with.” He bit his lips. “I'm just... worried about her. There's nothing to those rumors, but if people started talking badly about her because they think she's dating him... I mean, they're already saying things because there are marriage rumors mentioned about her, and I just don't want it to get worse. She's a strong girl and can take it, but I don't like hearing anything bad about her. I've been with her longer and know and love her better than anyone, and as an outsider to this world you guys live in... it just feels as if people are stomping on the most important part of my life as if it's the easiest thing in the world to them.”

“Trust me, I know the feeling,” Jaejoong said, thinking of Dami. “I wouldn't worry about the rumors regarding Yunho. Just like the article said, the tipsters aren't doing their research. But the marriage rumors... are you two...?” He trailed off.

“Are we thinking of getting married?” Younghyun nodded sheepishly. “Yes, we are. We've been together for so long, and I could wait for longer if it came to that. But I at least want to start building a household with her, for when Starkiss lessens their activities as a group. I know people are thinking that her getting married would mean she'd choose to leave the group, but that isn't how we're thinking at all. I want her to be a part of Starkiss for as long as she wants, even if it means we only have one kid together, or even none. All I want is to be the person she comes home to without a scandal or having to keep it a secret interfering with it. But now that I hear that Starkiss's fans are worried about those rumors, I don't know what to do anymore.”

Jaejoong tilted his head thoughtfully. “As long as you're very clear on Gaeun's desire not to stop working with the group, I don't see why it would be a problem. Most of Starkiss's fans just want to see the group carrying on while they're still doing well.”

“I hope that's the case. Anyways, no matter what we decide to do, Gaeun tells me it'll have to go through Hyunsoo nim first. Which isn't an issue for me. He's handled all of C&M's 'scandals' so well that the only one where anyone was actually scandalized was Saehee ah's. I just hope it can all go well.”

“I'll wish you both luck.” Jaejoong paused. “Just be careful about being too open here. A lot of my relatives are having fun with their cameras. I don't think they'd turn anything in to the tabloids, but you never know.”

“I'll keep that in mind. It was nice to meet you finally, Jaejoong-ssi.”

“Same to you.”

Jaejoong glanced to the dance floor. Faster songs were playing now, and almost all of his labelmates were dancing to the familiar routines. Still, he didn't see Yunho anywhere, not even at the tables where some of his family members were still finishing up their dinners. He was just about to circuit the room to look for him when a pair of hands clamped down over his eyes. “Guess who, Boojae?” Yunho's voice whispered into his ear.

“Who else calls me 'Boojae'?”

“Ah, gave it away.” Yunho dropped his hands away. “How you doing, stranger?”

“I've been busy.”

“I noticed. That was Gaeun noona's boyfriend you were talking to, right? How is he?”

“Why don't you introduce yourself?”

“I'm worried he might kill me. All I do is put on clothes in the morning, and people are suspicious of me and noona.”

“I could get in another scandal with Soorin to distract them, if you want.”

“Didn't we take down a certain someone to prevent that from happening?”

“Who knows, our fans could be more mellow about it now.”

“Don't count on it. And don't count on me letting you get into any scandals.”

“Anyways, Younghyun hyung isn't annoyed with you. He's just worried on Gaeun noona's behalf. But it sounds like they're looking for a full-time commitment soon, so you can stop worrying about your clothes so much.”

“That'll be nice. If we're caught with couple stuff while I'm in Japan, I'll be accused of sending long distances love messages to her, or something.” He reached to ruffle Jaejoong's blonde hair. “You look good today.”

“Don't I look good always?”

“Of course. But today, you just happened to reach the epitome of iness. Too bad we don't do more performances in suits.”

“Considering that we sweat through what we're wearing even if it's just tank tops and jeans, I can't imagine doing certain dances in a suit.”

“Mmmm. Jaejoongie in a sweaty suit...”

“I'd prefer just to dance shirtless.”

“Ahaha, be kind to my imagination, please.” Yunho glanced at the dance floor. “You want to go up there?”

As if right of cue, the dance track shifted to a slow song. Jaejoong looked at him wryly. “Slow dancing in front of my family? How audacious. Only my parents and sisters know about us.”

“Guess we can't, huh?” The two of them watched as Dayoung and Stan led the dance together. Junsu and Yoochun jokingly started dancing with each other, and Shinwon and Chansik joined them, less jokingly. Jongwoo immediately grabbed Chaozhi and started dancing as if to distract anyone from suspecting either of the pairs dancing together, and Brie led Soorin onto the floor with her. “Or maybe we can. Want to?”

“...might as well.”

Yunho's strong hands pulled him onto the dance floor and they swayed together, being sure to do it a little bit cheesily for the benefit of everyone else who was watched all the odd C&M 'couples' dancing beside the bride and groom. Jaejoong had never done very much ballroom style dancing, but Yunho was incredibly sure-footed and led him well, even spinning him once and quickly catching him back in the dance. Jaejoong couldn't help but think of their first dance together, which had led to their first kiss. He wanted all the eyes watching them to disappear so they could have another moment like that of their own, but it was too much to ask for. Besides, this wasn't his day. It was enough to watch Stan gently dip Dayoung and give her a kiss while all the partygoers cheered for them. It wasn't their day today, but just as his mother had said, it wasn't impossible that it would be.

Still, Yunho pulled him to the curtained-off balcony after the dance, probably hoping to take a moment of privacy outside where there wouldn't be anyone else watching. But as soon as they shut the curtain behind them, they noticed two figures on the courtyard below, dancing their own private dance together. Gaeun and Younghyun. Jaejoong placed his finger over his lips, and they watched them quietly for awhile, spinning to the music they could hear coming from the reception room.

So many happy couples, Jaejoong thought, leaning his head against Yunho's shoulder. Stan and Dayoung. Shinwon and Chansik. Gaeun and Younghyun. You and me. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all go more happily from here on out? Would the universe even allow that much happiness?

He didn't know. But as he watched the lovers dancing in the moonlight and felt Yunho's hands wrap around his, he liked to think that not only would the universe allow it, but that their euphoric happiness was what was destined for them from the first moment their lives began, and they were only stepping into the worlds they were always meant to be in together.

0o0

They were only given a few days to recover from all the excitement and drinking from the wedding before it was time to get on a plane and head back to Japan. All five of them had been keeping up with their BigEast fandom since leaving, and their fanbase had seen a decent amount of expansion, even though they hadn't been actively promoting in Japan. Their fanclub had organized an event at Tower for their Korean album and pushed sales for their concert DVDs so that their name would remain on everyone's minds before their comeback. As busy as he was, Jaejoong had still devoted time to writing new songs, and he had a good feeling that they could go even further than before.

“Just a few hours until I can reunite with shabu shabu,” Changmin said happily, leaning back in the stiff airport chairs as they waited. “Haraheta.”

“Aren't you always?” Junsu asked, yawning. “By the way, Yunho hyung, you owe me a trip to a Fukushima United game to make up for last time.”

“Are you kidding me? Do you want to relive all the memories of getting in a car accident and having a concussion?”

“I don't know about you, hyung, but my memories are kind of fuzzy.”

“Possibly because your head hit the window and gashed open?”

“Aren't you guys concerned in the slightest about getting a top five charting single?” Jaejoong wondered.

“Details, details,” Yoochun sighed. “We'll put you in charge of that one, Mr. Popular.”

Yunho grimaced. “I'd forgotten about all the people after him in Japan. Is it too late to drive back home?”

“Sure, I'm sure there's still some of our gauntlet of fans out there,” Changmin said. “We'll leave you to them and go without you.”

“...hmph. Why don't one of you become more attractive and take all his fans?”

“Working on it. Just give me a year or two.”

Yunho's ringtone started going off, and he looked down at the screen. “Eh? Hyunsoo nim? Why would he be calling?” He glanced around for Yongsoo, but he was off buying them food from the concession stands.

“Put it on speaker,” Yoochun said. “Maybe something about our schedule has changed?”

Yunho accepted the call and hit the speaker button. “Hyungnim?”

“Yunho goon? I trust you all made it to the airport safely?”

“Yes, we're fine. Boarding is in thirty minutes.”

“I see. I'll do my best to be brief, then. Have you by chance stopped at a newsstand yet?”

“Newsstand? No...”

“I see. That's good. I'll be the one to inform you of this, then.” He paused. “It seems we've made the Dispatch again.”

They all looked at each other. “Eh?” Yunho asked. “What for? Did I wear the same watch as noona, or something?”

“Not quite. But clothes did seem to cause some of the trouble this time. Tell me, were you wearing cufflinks with your dress shirt at the wedding?”

“No. I don't think I actually own cufflinks, honestly.”

“I figured. So photographs from the wedding would show as much. I see.”

“Why are you asking about cufflinks?”

“Because Gaeun's boyfriend Younghyun was wearing them. And he was snapped in a photograph by Dispatch outside looking rather intimate while dancing with Gaeun on the courtyard. They couldn't get a good shot of his face, and probably did a rush job of snapping the picture, since they weren't supposed to be there in the first place. They wouldn't have recognized him even if they had took their time, but since they didn't, they misidentified him as you once they uploaded the picture. The 'YH' cufflinks he was wearing in the photo must have helped.”

“Great,” Yunho said flatly. “You called them and corrected the story, right? Or do you need a photo showing I wasn't wearing cufflinks?”

“It would be incredibly easy story to deny, certainly,” Hyunsoo nim said serenely. “But I've had a little chat with Gaeun and gone over all our options in lieu of all the rumors and an upcoming blind item potentially regarding two of our idols that I've been tipped about, and I've come to the conclusion that we would be better off not doing it.”

“Not doing it?” Yunho repeated. “Not doing what?”

“Denying it, of course. C&M's stance on the Dispatch's article will be to neither confirm or deny.”

I want to grant your dream right now
Eternally, i love you more
I take a vow, i love you so
I want to be by your side