I CAN SOAR

“You have to be kidding me!”

Jaejoong sleepily cracked open an eye and turned to look at the neighboring futon where Changmin should have been sleeping. Instead, he was wide awake and standing by the window, holding the curtain open and letting light spill in. It was too bright to be early morning, so Jaejoong shot up, assuming he'd overslept. Why had everyone let him? Today was the day their first Japanese album was being released, and they were supposed to go to Tower Records and sign their special display board together. If he'd overslept, he'd have to run through getting ready and suffer appearing in front of his fans with a bad case of bed head that would only make the other members shine in comparison.

“What is it?” he muttered, rubbing his eyes. He glanced down at his phone, which read that it was seven in the morning, much earlier than he'd thought. Why was it so bright, then? He propped himself up on his knees and looked out the window and saw what had caught Changmin's attention. It was snowing. Not hard like it often did in Korea, but still, it was fairly early in the season for it to be snowing at all. He remembered hearing that Tokyo was much less equipped for snow than Seoul was, and that even a mild snowfall could upset transportation systems in the city. He didn't know how long it had been snowing, but the accumulation on the ground didn't look promising.

“But it doesn't snow a lot in Tokyo,” he said blankly, watching the flakes hit the ground.

“Well, clearly it picked today as its big day,” Changmin groaned. “Right when we need our fans to be able to go out and buy our album.”

“There's always online shopping...”

“But we need the foot traffic through the record store to help our sales. And we also need the sales to factor in right away to do well on the daily charts.”

“So... we're going to lose most of our first day sales over this?” He cursed under his breath. “We've been working so hard, we can't be messed up by something like this now!”

Yoochun burst into the room. “Guys, it's snowing.”

“Uh, yeah, we noticed.”

Junsu popped in after him. “Yongsoo has the news on, and they say that the trains are backing up. We have a problem.”

“What can we do about it?”

“Buy a lot of copies of our album and pass them out like Santa Claus?”

“The last thing we need is to be accused of buying our own albums to be popular in a foreign country.”

Yunho also walked into the room. “I pulled up our fansite. Looks like a lot of people are worried about going out in the snow. The diehards are already bundling up, but some of the younger fans say that their parents don't want them going out...”

“Maybe it will only be snowing this morning?”

“But if there are enough accidents and road closures, it'll still make things difficult.”

Jaejoong stepped out into the common room. Yongsoo already had the TV to the weather channel. A light but continual snow up until the evening, the forecasters predicted. Stay inside, if you can.

“Why couldn't you have predicted that yesterday?” Jaejoong yelled, throwing his slippers at the TV screen.

“We're still keeping our schedule at Tower Records,” Yongsoo said, turning around. “We're at least used to driving in the snow... we'll just have to worry about traffic from everyone else who isn't.”

Yunho poked his head out into the room. “Wait. This amount of snow really wouldn't give you trouble, hyung?”

“Of course not. I've driven you guys through much worse.”

“How many company vans do we have here?”

“Usually just the one. But we have more in reserve from the company we rent them from for equipment and to chauffeur coordinators and stylists. Why?”

“Couldn't we drive the BigEasts to the record store?”

“...what?”

“If we do nothing, a lot of them aren't going to be able to make it to Tower. They'll wait to buy tomorrow, which is fine, but everyone is going to be paying attention to our first day sales, since we're rookies. If we don't make some kind of impact, it'll be a disappointment to everyone, especially back in Korea where they're so used to us doing well. So if we're used to driving in the snow, why can't we drive the BigEast fanclub to the store as a special promotion? We could be a shuttle service, since we're familiar with driving in snowy conditions and won't be held back by the weather.”

Yongsoo tilted his head. “But if we think of it, everyone else with an album coming out today is in the same boat as us. It could seem like we're giving ourselves a special advantage by doing this.”

“But if it's just the BigEast fanclub, we'll only be involving people who were going to buy the album, anyways,” Yunho pointed out. “And... honestly, the Japanese artists with albums out today have better presale figures than us, so even if fans can't go out to buy their albums, they already have an advantage over us. We'll be underdogs no matter what we do.”

Yongsoo considered his point, then nodded. “I'll get on the phone with Tower Records and see what they think. If they give us the go-ahead, I'll get in touch with our rental company and see about rounding up more vans. If and only if we get approval from both, we'll go ahead with your idea.” He paused. “Regardless, I'm proud of your thinking. Ever since we've come here, you five have done well for yourselves. As popular as you are back home, I thought you'd be disheartened that it wasn't quite the same here, but none of you have given up for a second. It's an impressive quality to have.”

“We want to do well just as much as our fans want us to,” Jaejoong said. “If they're not giving up, we have to hang on for twice as long as they do.”

“Well, keep hanging on, then. I'll make those calls and see how much good your determination will do.”

0o0

It took some cajoling to get the rental company to agree to loan the vans out during the snowfall (“It's too dangerous! You're sure to wreck!”), but with all five members encouraging him from the background, Yongsoo managed to do it. As soon as they were approved, Yunho posted an official message to the BigEast fanpages, letting them know the rendezvous points where they could be picked up to be shuttled over to the record store. Immediately, comments began flooding in. Thank you, thank you! I've been waiting for months for this album, and I didn't want to wait another second!

What kindness to fans... tears are streaming down my face right now.

First an earthquake, now snow... Japan has not been showing a good time to Tohoshinki, but still you are all so generous... I'm going to buy many copies of this album and share with my friends so they will love you, too.

“Well, let's go get things ready for them, then,” Junsu said brightly. “By time our BigEasts see our display board, it's going to be beautiful.”

The roads were not near as bad as they were used to back home, but the journey to the record store still took longer than usual thanks to the slow pace of the other cars. The staff at Tower Records apologized profusely as if the snow was their fault, but Tohoshinki shook their heads and assured them that they were still going to do their best and push for the sales of their album anyways.

“Oh my, look at this,” Junsu said, eunkyanging loudly as he pointed at the cardboard cutouts of themselves around the display. “They made us all the same height, too! I'm finally as tall as Changmin ah.”

“Being tall doesn't really solve the problem of your face,” Changmin said, poking cardboard Junsu in the nose. Still, they all took selfies with their cutout versions gleefully, then took gag shots with the other members. The staff also handed out permanent markers for them to autograph their sign boards with, though it took strict supervision to keep them from drawing mustaches and devil horns on their cutouts.

While he waited around for the store to open, Jaejoong visited around to all CD racks, looking at the albums from their sunbae groups. Many of them were already fairly popular here, and he wanted to be able to live up to their promise, not just for his own sake and the group's, but Korea's, too. It meant something that they could still be liked even outside of their home, that their music spoke to people beyond the language it was sung in.

Before the doors of the record store opened, they were escorted to a roped off area where they could address their fans when they came in. The trickle through the door was initially slow as a handful of girls bundled in winter coats came in, shedding snow as they went, but when the first van pulled up to the building, quite a few BigEasts popped out, holding on tightly to their uchiwas and squealing in excitement when they stepped in and saw Tohoshinki waiting.

By time the next two vans rolled up and unloaded more passengers, it was time to make their talk. “Tohoshinki would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for making the effort to be here today,” Yunho began. “This is our first album in Japan, and nothing can dampen our excitement to share it with you, not even a little snow, so we're happy that you came and that you feel the same way. Truthfully, we understand that our album isn't the biggest release of the day, and we still have so much work ahead of us. But today, it's really important for us to make that start with you, who have been supporting and loving us since we stepped off our plane. Whatever listeners we can touch with our music is enough for us, so please understand that your presence here means more to us than we can ever say.”

He passed the microphone along to Jaejoong. “When we finish promoting our album, we'll have to go back, but we promise that before we leave, we'll have some very special performances for all of you so that you won't forget us until we come back again! And when we do come back, won't it be nice if we're even better than before?”

“Don't go!” their fans called out ardently.

“Eh?” Yoochun asked. “Should we just stay forever, then?”

“Yes!!!”

“Won't you get tired of us?”

“No! Never!”

They all grinned. “Hmmm. But we have a cute kouhai group that will be debuting back home, and we have to do our best to support! Maybe if Tohoshinki fights and does well in Japan, we'll bring our kouhai group with us one day!”

“You will do well! We promise!”

After they said their goodbyes to their fans and left them to their purchases, they were shuttled over to their next interviews of the day, but in the back of their minds, it was hard to think about anything else other than their fans at the record store. Had they done and said enough? As a new and somewhat unknown group, it would be difficult to reach too high just yet, even if they had a good reputation through their sunbae groups. They had pushed as hard as they could, but what if there was something more they could have done? Their date to go home really was fast approaching, and he didn't want a single regret to keep them from going forward.

When it finally came time to hear their results, they squeezed each other's hands so hard it hurt. They had spent months in Japan by now, little by little building their fanbase. It felt cheap to sum that experience up in a sales figure, but they still needed something to prove they weren't just running in circles, and real progress was being made.

“How do you think you did?” Yongsoo asked. “In daily sales with Oricon?”

They looked at each other. About five other major artists had released albums, and there were a few anime soundtracks out, as well as potential carry-over sales from the idol albums from the week before. “Fifteenth?” Yunho guessed.

“Seventh.”

They stared at each other, their mouths falling open. “Seventh,” Yoochun echoed. “At our level?”

“What do you mean at 'your level'? You are one of the most popular Korean groups at the moment, give yourselves some credit!” He smiled. “Truthfully, it was your outreach to the fans that made the difference. You've worked hard to the point where they really want to do things for you in return. Thank yourselves for this victory, and the loyalty of your fanbase.”

Once the reality of their results hit them, they hugged each other excitedly, letting out some wild cheers and smacking each other on the back. They didn't have the consistent fan following as some of the other groups they were competing with, so there was so guarantee they could maintain their level of sales through the week, but already they had achieved beyond what they had thought, and that in itself was an accomplishment enough to carry them. If they could go this far now, they would only go father later.

“Take that, snow!” Junsu said triumphantly. “Hey, let's all go out to eat!”

“It feels like that's what you've guys have been doing nonstop since coming to Japan,” Yongsoo sighed.

“And maybe that why we were able to chart seventh today. Being well-fed can lead to miracles!”

“Right... but fine. You guys have been doing well, so it can't hurt.”

“Good thing the snow will keep wherever we go from filling up,” Jaejoong said, grinning ear to ear. “Seventh place! We're seventh place!”

“If we start shrieking about that at a restaurant, people will think we're crazy,” Changmin said, though he was grinning too. “Who else would brag about seventh place?”

“Seventh place is the best,” Jaejoong said. “Until we get first place, that is.”

0o0

Just as promised, the five of them spent their last month in Japan hosting concerts around the area in whichever cities their fans wanted to see them in. When they first stepped out onstage, it was a bit odd to see an audience half the size of the one they'd last seen in Seoul, but the cheers still touched them in the exact same way, so they were more than happy to welcome everyone who came.

“Dreams are kind of a funny thing, aren't they?” Yoochun asked, looking out over the sea of faces. “A few years ago, we were sitting out on a dock in the middle of summer, and we asked each other what we saw ourselves doing in the future. Can you believe now that Jaejoong hyung was the only one who was 100% sure this was his dream?”

Jaejoong laughed. “Still, I wouldn't have ever guessed that I would have Japanese fans enough to have a concert with. I just wanted to write songs and sing.”

“And he still made believers out of all of us.” Yunho slung his arms around Jaejoong's shoulder. “I bet you all can believe that he sent in an audition tape for me without my permission to get me into the company?”

“It was necessary. Can any of you imagine a Tohoshinki without leader Yunho?”

The fans screamed in protest, and several Yunho banners were waved proudly.

“Truthfully, I think we all ended up here because we had to be together,” Junsu said, smiling. “And getting to sing to all of you in Japan has helped us do that in a way that has taught us new things and made us stronger. We keep saying that we'll be going back home, but can't right here become a home for us, too?”

The fans cheered again, this time with even more passion. It really is the same, Jaejoong realized. There may be fewer fans, but the love and trust and faith is the exact same. Us being here really has made a difference.

“Ah, our Japanese fans are so beautiful,” Jaejoong said, waving. “I'm so happy to have met you. Did you like meeting me?”

“JAEJOONG-SAAAAN!”

“But you liked meeting me more, right?” Junsu asked.

“Who'd want to meet you?” Changmin teased, but the Junsu fans in the audience still called out for him.

“I don't think we have any words to explain how happy you've made us,” Yunho said. “So saying thank you will have to do for now.” The five of them linked hands and bowed to their fans. “We'll meet you again and be even better, for sure!”

When they went backstage, they could still hear the cheers echoing through the concert hall. “I kind of feel regretful about leaving now,” Yoochun said, sighing. “When we first got off the plane, I was terrified, and even though I miss Seoul and Starkiss and B.P.M and Korean food, there's still so much work we can do here.”

“Work here and work in Korea,” Yunho replied. “Guess I'll be working you extra hard when we get back.”

“I don't mind. It's kind of fun when it comes down to it. Although I kind of miss sleeping. A lot.”

“We'll get some shut eye. On the plane.”

“Yeah, for like an hour.”

“Can we bring natto back with us?” Changmin asked randomly.

“What if we go back on stage in Korea and accidentally sing all our songs in Japanese?” Jaejoong asked, also randomly.

“Oh, you.” Yunho wrapped them all in a tight bear hug. “We'll just have to do our best wherever we are, won't we?”

“Whether we have natto or not-o,” Junsu said.

0o0

Just as Jaejoong hoped, the airport was much more crowded than when they had first arrived. The fans still stayed on their best behavior, but there was a much greater feeling of excitement, and even though their emotions were split between sadness at leaving and happiness at being able to go home again, they couldn't help but smile at their fans' kindness in waving their banners and wishing them safe travels.

Jaejoong could hear several people screaming out his name, so he tried to turn his head and follow their voices, but it seemed to be coming from all directions. He shook his head and waved broadly, hoping they would all receive his love even if he couldn't look at them all directly. It still felt ridiculous to him sometimes that someone who'd been virtually ignored by people for almost his entire life could receive this kind of fervor, but at the same time, it pushed the insecure part of him down even further. I'm not nothing. Not anymore.

“YUNJAE!” he heard a handful of people calling out loudly. Jaejoong blinked. Yunho had ended up shunted to the side in the push and was nowhere near him right now. Why were they cheering for them now, of all times? The fans called out again, and he glanced over to where they were standing. A handful of girls were wearing homemade shirts with a matching heart emblem on it, and the one nearest to the front of the barrier her arm out and handed him a white gift bag. Without thinking, Jaejoong grabbed onto it and bowed in thanks. They usually weren't supposed to accept gifts before getting on the plane in case they were given something that wasn't permitted through security, but Jaejoong still had room in his carry-on bag, and the package was small enough to fit.

“What is it?” Yunho asked by time they'd made it past all the fans and into their terminal.

“I don't know,” Jaejoong said, untying the strings of the bag. “But it's from our fans-- Yunjae fans.”

“Guess we couldn't keep them from forming in Japan either.”

“I wasn't trying to prevent it, to be honest.” He pulled out two small jewelry boxes and a letter. He handed one of the boxes to Yunho, and they opened them together. They were rings, but not couple style. Jaejoong's was gold and thin and Yunho's was silver and thick.

“Hmm? Not matching?” Yunho slid his onto his finger, where it fit snugly.

Jaejoong unfolded the letter and read it out loud. To Jaejoong-san and Yunho-san: Keeping a secret can be burdensome, and we know that people like us only make it harder to have things stay quiet. Still, it makes us sad when only Yunho-san can wear his couple ring, and Jaejoong-san's is always hidden around his neck. Even if you are proud of your feelings, you can't share that pride openly. That's why we are giving you these rings, in hopes you will accept them. On the outside, they are different, but underneath, your names are engraved into both-- just like how on the outside you have to be apart, but inside your hearts are the same. We will continue to believe in you, Jaejoong-san and Yunho-san, because your happiness and ours is also the same. Love, your BigEast fans.

Yunho pulled off his ring and studied the engraving with a whistle. “Girls really are something, aren't they? Should we wear these?”

“I don't see why not. The letter talked about keeping it a secret, so I don't think they'll broadcast it to everyone what the meaning is.”

“But they'll take it as us confirming that their suspicions are right.”

“Well, they are right, aren't they? We're just telling them what they're sure of on their own.”

“Hmm. Good point.” He put the ring back on and held his hand at a distance, studying it. “It doesn't really send out a message to rivals that you're already mine, but still... it kind of gives a warm feeling, doesn't it? I like how they think. On the outside we have to be apart, but on the inside, our hearts are the same.”

“They're smart. Of course they are. They're our fans. Having them wish for our happiness like this is nice. It makes me feel a little spoiled.”

“Still, don't think they won't want to snatch you up if I give them a moment.” Yunho poked Jaejoong's cheek.

“Maybe. Maybe not. But you won't give them a moment, will you?”

“I wouldn't count on it.”

“Good.” He pulled the couple ring he already had around his neck out and lifted up his bracelet. “That's three promises. You don't get to walk away now.”

I gave and did above what I had to
So forward,
No more to prove
I'm free to fly
And that is exactly
What I'm gonna do
Cause I
I'm right here standing
That's how I know I can withstand
Anything that may come
A wind or a fall
I can soar