CHECKMATE

When the alarm went off in the morning, Jaejoong didn't immediately open his eyes. If he's next to me, it wasn't a dream, he told himself. The sheets he was wrapped in and the mattress against his back didn't feel like his old futon. But as much he doubted that his imagination could have ever come up with anything as perfect as what had happened the night before, he still felt his old anxieties coming up to the surface. Would something that good happen to someone like me?

Shut up, he told himself sternly. It did happen. He loves you. Are you taking him for a liar? If you keep doubting him, how long will he keep loving you?

He opened his eyes, looking up into Yunho's face. Yunho smiled, leaning down to kiss the tip of his nose. “You didn't think I would be here?” he scolded.

“For a few seconds, maybe,” Jaejoong confessed, sitting up. “But then I remembered that you said you would be.”

“And did you get enough sleep?”

“No.”

“And do you regret it?”

Jaejoong picked up his pillow and whacked Yunho in the face. “No. But if I'm dead on my feet all day, I'm still blaming you.”

“All right, Mr. 'I'm-going-to-bed-for-real-this-time'.”

The two of them didn't have any time to waste in the morning, so they got out of bed, washed up, dressed, and headed out to the garden to pack up their crates. It was an overcast day, and luckily not as hot as the past few had been. Jaejoong was grateful for the break, especially since it would bring back most of their customers. He didn't mind hanging out with Yunho, of course, but it would be easier for them to calm down around each other when there were other people around.

Yoochun and Junsu popped over when they were still setting up their booth. "Hyung, I heard that we'll be getting our schedules from school soon," Junsu announced. "I'm jealous that this is the last year you'll have to sit through."

Yunho groaned. "Don't even talk to me about school now, Junsu-ah. I was in a very, very good mood."

"I can tell," Yoochun said, looking back and forth between Yunho and Jaejoong, smiling suddenly. “I'm guessing congratulations are in order?”

“For what?” Junsu asked.

“For their successful love life.”

Jaejoong started choking, but Yunho simply glared. “If you're trying to sound like a stalker, it's working.”

“I don't need to stalk. Jaejoong's level of pheromone output was telling enough. Besides-” he poked Jaejoong's collarbone- “that's a suspiciously big bug bite.”

Yunho stepped in between Yoochun and Jaejoong, his expression tight. “Leave him alone,” he said.

“I'm not making fun of him,” Yoochun said, tapping Yunho on the shoulder. “Or you. I was on his side from the beginning, thank you very much.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Junsu wondered. Clearly, Yoochun hadn't shared what he knew about Jaejoong's feelings with him.

“We're dating,” Yunho said, slinging a protective arm around Jaejoong's shoulders. “If that bothers you, take it up with me.”

Junsu blinked. “Whoa. I wasn't expecting that at all.”

“That's because you don't pay attention,” Yoochun pointed out. “It was pretty obvious.”

“Still wasn't expecting it. Congrats, though.” Junsu shrugged. “It will take some getting used to, but it doesn't bother me or anything. You two know best.”

“No need to get so defensive with us, hyung,” Yoochun said to Yunho. “Save that for the real s. Real friends don't turn their backs on the people they care about.”

“Good,” Yunho said. “And thank you.”

“You just might want to be careful about the location of your kissing-”

Yunho threw his water bottle at Yoochun's chest. “Get lost. Don't you have a booth to set up?”

When the two of them left, Jaejoong turned back to Yunho. “You don't need to worry after me so much. I'm used to people making comments.”

“And you shouldn't be.”

“But I am. It bothered me back then, but now... if I get to be together with you, I don't think I'll care anymore. Shouldn't you worry about yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“What people will say about you because of me if they find out?”

“Those people don't know me. You know me. I know me. So why should it matter?”

Jaejoong smiled. “You're a strong person. I was never like that. I just escaped into my songs and hid from everything.”

“But those songs led you here, so I'm not going to complain about that.” Yunho rumpled Jaejoong's hair. “I just don't want you to put yourself down anymore. You're a beautiful person, and you deserve to live freely. And as for people saying things about me because of you-” he reached down and poked Jaejoong's nose “-you can't say it like that anymore. I like you, too, so if they say anything, it's not your fault. It's not a fault. Period.”

Jaejoong nodded. God, really, what did I do to deserve this?

Instead of Yunho dropping him back off at the house after their shift was over like he usually did, Jaejoong went along with him to the abandoned road for the first of his dance lessons. Yunho knew almost all the major routines from the popular boy groups, but he selected a mid-level difficulty dance to make things easier on Jaejoong.

“The first step is to learn the melody,” Yunho explained, letting Jaejoong listen to the track a few times on the boom box. “Routines are designed with the flow of the song in mind, and the movements of your body should be in pace with the beat. Always keep the melody in mind, and you won't move too quickly or too slowly. You might miss a few steps when you're first learning, and then try to speed up to overcompensate, but if you do that too often, you'll get used to performing at the wrong pace. Matching with the music is more important than getting every single step right. At least at this stage.”

Yunho ran through the first few steps with him, teaching him basic tricks to apply to other routines as well. Jaejoong wasn't quite at his level of skill, but he had a musician's ear for the beat of the song and was able to keep up. What was more difficult was mastering the heat. It was a much cooler day, luckily, but the concrete still held in heat, and with the workout he was receiving, sweat was already collecting on his forehead, which was made even worse by the fact that they hadn't brought a towel with them, since clearly Yunho's face didn't produce sweat at the same pace as a normal human being.

“Don't worry about it,” Yunho said, laughing. “Won't fans like that sort of thing? Damp and sweaty can be y, too. In your case, very y.”

“I can barely even think of fans,” Jaejoong said, trying to catch his breath. “That part doesn't even seem like it would ever be real.”

“You'll probably have tons. And I'll sit and watch at home, feeling jealous of all of them.” Yunho's lower lip jutted out at the thought, but he didn't add anything else.

Jaejoong sighed. Their relationship was going to be difficult as it was without adding Jaejoong's potential entry into the industry and debut into the mix. Idols weren't usually allowed to date, and even non-idols sometimes had to keep their relationships quiet for a time, and that wasn't even getting into homoual relationships, which of course 'never happened.' Not that it mattered. Training and schedules would keep him well away from Yunho at the beginning. How would he be able to hold onto a fledgling relationship through all that?

He needs to audition, too, Jaejoong thought, but Yunho was still proving stubborn. He insisted his dancing wasn't good enough yet and he needed more practice, which was frankly a bit ridiculous. Even if he surpasses the best in Korea, he'll never be satisfied. He doesn't understand how good he is.

In that case, Jaejoong would just have to force his hand. He picked up the video camera Yunho had brought with them to film some potential footage to use for Jaejoong's audition tape. “Yunho, show me the dance you did yesterday again.”

Yunho saw the camera in his hands and groaned. “Jae, you don't have to film it.”

“Please. I want to be able to watch it again whenever.”

“You don't need a video copy when you're dating the real deal.”

“But I will be going home at the end of the summer...”

Yunho pouted again. I know, Jaejoong soothed him in his head. I don't want to go either, but I promised. That's why I'm going to bring you with me no matter what.

“Fine,” Yunho relented, sighing. “You win. I don't want my Boojae to be sad and lonely without me.” He marched over to the boom box and flipped it on, replaying the movements from the night before. Jaejoong had worried that they wouldn't strike him as much since he'd already seen them, but Yunho still managed to amaze him all over again. How could someone move like that, so effortlessly? The agency would have to be an idiot not to accept him, and he had just as good of a chance of making it in as Jaejoong, if not better.

When Yunho finished, he knelt down to where Jaejoong was sitting on the grass beside the road. “Jaejoongie?”

“Hmm?”

“If you get into the company, you'll meet all kinds of people and do all kinds of new things you haven't done before. Do you think you'll forget about me?”

Shouldn't I also be having these kinds of worries if you don't come with me?, Jaejoong wondered. Out loud, he said, “It's not like I'll be moving forward and throwing everything else away. If I carry you with me, I won't be forgetting about you, will I?”

“I guess I'll just have to carve myself into your brain before you go, then.” Yunho cupped Jaejoong's face and kissed him. “Ah, I want you to reach the top of the world, but I don't want to leave your side either. What to do?”

Jaejoong squeezed the video camera in his hands. Let me hide something from you, just one more time. Then you can reach the top of the world right along with me.

0o0

After they had gotten back and eaten dinner, they went up to Yunho's room. This time, Yunho grabbed his guitar and sat down on the bed rather than launching another attack on Jaejoong, which was fine by him. It had been awhile since they'd worked on a song together with just their voices and the guitar, and Jaejoong had missed it a little. This was how they'd started, and it still felt the best.

“You haven't been writing for awhile,” Yunho said, absently playing a few chords. “I made you spend so much time on One Kiss, and then we went to the pension, and right after...” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“It may take awhile for me to write something new,” Jaejoong admitted. “I really don't have much experience writing happy songs, and there's just so much to say.”

“That's fine. I mean, if it's going to be about me, I want it to be a good one.”

“They were pretty much all about you,” Jaejoong admitted. “Even the ones from before I met you... they were about the idea that someone like you could be waiting for me.”

Yunho winced. “All of those were about someone like me leaving you. You will at least give the chance to prove I can stick around, right?”

Jaejoong nodded. In truth, he knew he wouldn't be getting over his old anxieties easily, but he still didn't want to doubt Yunho on principle.

“Anyways, it's okay if you didn't write anything this time, because I have a song for you.”

“You wrote something?”

“Yeah. I was working on it while you were working on One Kiss. It's a bit different, though, and since it's my first time, it's not as good as what you could come up with.”

“I still want to hear it!”

“All right. Here goes...”

Yunho's song Checkmate was more upbeat than most of Jaejoong's, and was a hell of a lot ier, in Jaejoong's very biased opinion. For someone who had focused in dance rather than singing, he had an excellent delivery and was able to do plenty of amazing tricks when he sang to make his performance sound smooth and confident. Other than a few easily-fixed mistakes in his English pronunciation, the lyrics were also good, particularly for someone who was new to songwriting.

Jaejoong clapped for him when he finished. "Should we try recording that song, too?" he asked. "You sounded great."

"I'd rather keep working on your songs, honestly," Yunho said sheepishly. "I still need to do some fine tuning on this one. Were the lyrics all right?"

"That depends. Who's the 'y lady'?"

"Hey! I'm just copying off of you, you always write about girls, too! From here on out, y lady is code for Kim Jaejoong."

Jaejoong laughed. "Honestly, it doesn't matter what the lyrics say as far as that goes. All that matters is who you think of when you sing it. That's where the emotion comes from."

"Speaking from experience?"

"Maybe." Jaejoong grabbed the video camera again. "Can I film it?"

"The dance performance wasn't enough?"

"Your voice wasn't a part of that shot. Besides..." He leaned into Yunho's shoulder. "Can I be a little selfish and think that maybe you wrote that song while thinking of me?"

"You don't have to just think that. It's true."

"Then can't I take my song back home with me?" He tried giving Yunho a cute, pleading look, but he wasn't sure how well it worked.

"If you get to take a video of this, then I should have one of all the other songs you've sung for me, and not just One Kiss."

"Deal," Jaejoong said. "But my throat is sore today, so we'll do you now. Sing it for me again."

Yunho rolled his eyes, but gave in and performed his song again. It amazed him, the difference between the Yunho singing and playing and the one who talked indifferently about his talent whenever he wasn't actually performing. There was confidence in every word he spoke now, but Jaejoong knew that as soon as it was over, he would insist on "fine tuning" and "working harder," as if what he had just done wasn't worthy on its own. It's because he has to stop that he loses his way, Jaejoong thought. Give him a stage and a way to keep on performing, and he won't have to take a break from feeling that confidence. Telling himself that made him feel better about what he was going to do for Yunho without his permission.

When the recording finished, Yunho took the camera from Jaejoong and set it out of reach. "No more looking at me through a lens today," he chided, pulling Jaejoong into his arms. "We only have a few weeks left, okay? You have to pay attention to me fully."

"Spoiled," Jaejoong muttered, but he loved this Yunho too, the one who wanted just as much as he gave away. 

"I have to be. While I still have time."

Jaejoong didn't let his words make him sad, since he wouldn't be letting them come true. The only thing that saddened him was that he couldn't tell that to Yunho, or wipe the pained frown off his face at that very moment. Instead, he wound his hands around Yunho's shoulders and kissed him deeply. I know I haven't been the most reliable person until now, but please put your trust in me. I was waiting all my life for you, and I'm not going to lose you now, right at the beginning.

0o0

Though they still stayed up later than they normally would have before to hold each other and spoil each other even more with goodnight kisses, their lack of sleep from the night before assured that Yunho would doze off at a reasonable hour. Jaejoong waited until he could hear him snoring softly before slipping out of bed. It wasn't an easy feat, given Yunho's arms wrapped firmly around his waist, but he was just skinny enough to wiggle out without waking him. Quietly, he tiptoed over to where Yunho had put the digital camera and plugged it into the computer. Just in case, he turned the computer's volume all the way down as he double checked to make sure the videos were okay for submission. They were a little shaky since he hadn't been able to use a camera stand, but Yunho's dancing remained as impressive as ever when he watched it back.

Yunho shifted in his sleep, grabbing the spot where Jaejoong should have been sleeping. Quickening his pace, Jaejoong grabbed a blank CD and burned the files to it, then labelled it with Yunho's name and information. He slid it into a crystal case, then quietly left the room to go downstairs and add it to the envelope he'd prepared earlier with a completed application filled out in Yunho's name.

Forgive me for this, he thought to himself as he slipped outside to the envelope into the nearby dropbox.  I'd like to think I'm doing this as much for you as I am for me.

He tiptoed back up the stairs and into bed, trying not to jostle Yunho as he laid down. Yunho grabbed for him again and muttered Jaejoong's name, raising goosebumps on his skin. This is why I can't give you up, he thought fondly, his heart trying to settle down. Even if it was going behind Yunho's back, he was happy that for once he hadn't given up on something he'd wanted just because he felt himself undeserving of having it. He could only hope that Yunho would also find it in his heart to be just as proud.

Trying to find someone
But got caught
Its a fake story no matter who looks at it
What's up, baby! Gentle way of saying it
Because glamorous language games stop now

My heart that has stopped tends towards you, Fellow
Unconsciously, your body tends towards me, Hello
Today's Tonight its a party tonight, CHECKMATE