THANKS TO

The office was much quieter the next day. All the employees had an air of exhaustion about them, but the initial frenzy at least had been contained. The press and netizens hadn't been able to dig up anything juicy about Saehee and Minjun's relationship other than that they were dating in the first place, and the majority of Starkiss fans who were upset were more offended by the potential stress Saehee's “scandal” would be putting on the rest of the group than the relationship itself. It was Minjun's fanbase that was still in a hysterical frenzy, but there wasn't too much they could do about that in C&M other than more damage control.

“Back to work,” Yunho said, once they'd rounded up all the trainees. “Before dance practice, the variety trainer is scheduled to come in to talk about managing television schedules, so if you have any questions you want to go over, keep them in mind.” He glanced over at where Seungmin was sitting on the couches, waiting for the talk he was promised. “Jaejoong and I need to step out for a second with Seungmin ah, so Jongwoo ah is in charge of keeping everyone on track until we get back, okay?”

They took Seungmin back into the break room with them. “What's on your mind?” Yunho asked after he sat down. Seungmin looked a little less energetic then he normally did, but not as wildly distressed as some of Minjun's fangirls they'd seen on the news last night.

“It's about Saehee noona, kinda,” he said staring down at his hands. “I mean, it's probably not what you think. I'm not upset about that... I mean, I was upset about that, but this...” He sighed in frustration. He wasn't the kind of guy who ended up at a loss for words, and it was clearly bothering him.

“Take your time,” Yunho said softly. Jaejoong felt envious of his kind composure, the same attentiveness that had made it so easy for him to fall in love. He wondered why Seungmin had bothered asking him to be there, too, when just Yunho probably would have served.

“It's just that...I told you the story of why I wanted to be an idol, right? The part about me wanting to make the most of my life was true. I liked performing ever since I was little, and I thought this would be the best way to do it. I don't think I was wrong, but... Saehee was the idol I admired the most when I was making that decision. I watched her on her realities, and I really was moved by how she fought to get out of her famous mother's shadow and become a star in her own right, and that's why I started liking her. That's why I wanted to become an idol at C&M just like her, but...” He trailed off, biting his lips.

“You aren't disappointed in her now, are you?” Yunho asked.

“No! Absolutely not! She's still the person I admired, and she should be allowed to be happy! It's me I'm disappointed in.” He looked up at Yunho. “I wanted to become an idol because it was my dream and it would make me happy, but when I came here, all I was thinking about was Saehee noona. If I do this, will she notice me? Will she think me someone special enough to stand up beside her? I know I like and respect noona very much, but it wasn't supposed to be about her. It was supposed to be about what I wanted to do. When I heard the news yesterday, I was so upset and angry, and I thought for a second that I didn't want to be an idol anymore if I was never going to catch her eye, but then I thought about it and I didn't understand what I was thinking. That's not what I promised myself to do. I look up to you and Jaejoong hyung and Chansik hyung because you work so hard, but I was treating it like a joke, wasn't I?”

“You were working hard...”

“...but not for the right reasons.” He sat up straighter. “Yunho hyung, Jaejoong hyung... I want to transfer to another company.”

“Eh?” Jaejoong couldn't stop himself from reacting in surprise. The conversation had been heading in that direction, but still it hit him. Seungmin had been there with them at the beginning; the thought of having to send him off somewhere else felt too strange to accept.

“Are you sure?” Yunho asked carefully. “I hate to say this bluntly, but you're just fifteen. Whatever lingering feelings you have for Saehee noona will probably pass.”

“I know,” Seungmin said. “I just don't want to get distracted anymore, that's all. I'm not blaming her or anything, but if I want to seriously debut, I should get my head on straight, shouldn't I?”

Yunho nodded. “Just... you shouldn't leave the company without having anything else lined up.”

“I have a few places I'd like to try auditioning with. I'm not going to go into it blindly. I told you, I want to be serious. When we meet again onstage one day, I definitely want you to be proud of me.”

Yunho reached out and patted his head. “All right, Seungmin ah. If that's how you feel, we'll wish you well, then. Would you like us to be there with you when you talk to Hyunsoo nim?”

Seungmin nodded. “Thank you.”

“Seungmin ah...” Jaejoong wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “We'll keep our eyes out for you.”

“...thank you.” He ducked his head, masking his face. “I absolutely will not let you down.”

0o0

The conversation with Hyunsoo nim went well, though Jaejoong could tell he was also a little exhausted from the Starkiss situation. He did his best to try and get Seungmin to change his mind, but when Seungmin stayed firm, he was willing to listen. By the end of the meeting, he said he would respect Seungmin's wishes, but Seungmin would still need to come back with his parents to deal with it formally.

“Ah, the pangs of young love,” Hyusoo nim sighed when Seungmin left. “When I started in the industry, I had the hots for a young ballad singer. She wound up marrying some actor, but don't they all.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Love is all well and good, but you'll regret it if you never focus on yourself. Perhaps Seungmin goon is learning this for the better. I only wish I could teach our Saehee the same caution.” He rubbed his hands together. “I don't want to keep you two from your practices, but if I could have a moment? Stanley talked to me about the two friends you wish to continue performing with. C&M has reached out to--” he glanced at the paper in front of him- “Kim Junsu. I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear that if his audition is as competent as the video Stanley showed me, we will be prepared to accept him. I may be flattering myself, but I do believe I have a good ear for music, and I doubt we could find a voice like that anywhere else. You have my thanks for directing us to him.”

“And Yoochun ah?”

Hyunsoo nim smiled. “As for the contest, we'll see. Whatever happens, we should have a stable line-up for the trainees soon. One we can hopefully consider seriously debuting.” He clapped his hands together. “All right, you kids. Back to work! C&M may have hit a rough spot, but we're still fighting on!”

“Yes, sir!”

They walked back out into the hallway together. “Looks like things are looking good for Junsu at least,” Jaejoong said brightly. “There's still a good chance for the five of us.”

“You know, you amaze me,” Yunho said. “When we first met each other, I had no idea things would be like this just a few months later. But here you are, making things happen for us without even being asked. You're wonderful.”

Jaejoong flushed. “I... I just wanted to be happy together with you. That's what this whole thing has been about. You're the really amazing one. All of the trainees really look up to you so much.”

“Chansik ah likes you most.”

“That's one out of six.”

“You're deliberately leaving me out of your tally, Boojae.”

“You're special though, aren't you?”

“Of course.” Yunho took Jaejoong's hand and squeezed it. “But if you manage to bring Yoochun and Junsu in, I'm thanking you in every acceptance speech we have, ever.”

“I'll do it then. We should also work our hardest to be a great group for when we meet Seungmin ah on stage.”

“We will. Because you're there. Because we're there, together.”

0o0

As if to make up for Starkiss's break to sort out the aftermath from Saehee issues, the trainees were working harder than ever. Just when Jaejoong thought he was getting the hang of the vocal and dance parts he was learning, their variety lessons increased, and he had a hard time keeping up. He'd spent most of his life being withdrawn from people, and to sudden have to be upbeat and open was a bit challenging. He knew he had a stronger personality in him, but it had been buried for so long that it was hard to reach. He spent a lot of his time watching Changmin, Shinwon, and Jongwoo, who were the best at their variety training. Changmin's dry snark made him relatable, their trainer said, and Shinwon and Jongwoo simply had outgoing and likable personalities that fans were likely to respond to.

Since they were so busy, Yunho and Changmin weren't able to come back to his house on most nights. It was moving into December, and the snowy roads were lengthening their trips back and forth, so they couldn't be held up for longer than necessary. He also hadn't been able to see much of Soorin thanks to Starkiss's break, and he couldn't help worry about how everything was going with her.

Junsu would come over from time to time in the evenings since he was close by and wasn't overly attached to his messy closet of an apartment. He'd sent in his audition tape, and although he hadn't been accepted yet, he'd shown Jaejoong the footage he'd sent in, and Jaejoong was almost 100% sure he'd be able to make it in no problem. He'd already known that Junsu was a great singer, but it wasn't until he saw his dance footage that he got just how well-rounded he actually was.

“The walk-on contest is near the end of the month, right?” Junsu asked. “I thought I saw some cheesy line on all those posters in your car about 'give yourself the gift of your dream this Christmas'.”

“Yeah, I think it's the twenty-second or something.”

“I've been calling Yoochunnie pretty much every night and doing some basic vocal exercises with him over the phone. He's got a good sound, I'll give him that. I don't know what we'll do about the fact that he looks and acts like a fish store worker, though.”

“Up until a few weeks ago, he was a fish store worker.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't he has to look like one. Whatever. Apparently, things are going better for him back home. The economy's been rough on our families, and they've been worrying constantly about downsizing and selling off some of the boats. Yoochunnie's parents realize that if he becomes an idol, this won't be as much of a problem anymore. My parents still aren't thrilled, but I'm just glad that his aren't making this any more difficult.”

“Don't you have a brother or something who could take over the fish business?”

“He's no better than me. He's trying to become an actor.” Junsu smiled wryly. “I honestly don't think my parents are worried as much about keeping the business in the family as they are about the fact that if the two of us are famous, we're not going to be having grandbabies any time soon... grandbabies who could then take over the fish business.”

“You're still in a better place than me, who won't be having them ever.” He grimaced. “Have you met Yunho's family before? Outside of Auntie Minjung?”

Junsu nodded. “They stop by from time to time. His sister's a real sweetheart. His parents are great, too, it just never feels like they can manage to be on the same page as Yunho half the time. But I guess that kind of thing is bound to happen when you haven't lived together for so long.” Junsu tilted his head. “You're probably wondering what they would think of you and Yunho, right?”

Jaejoong nodded.

“Honestly, it's hard to say. They aren't the type to throw him out or anything... not that they can, since he doesn't even live with them. But I don't think they would be jumping up and down about it. They'll want their grandbabies, too.” Junsu patted Jaejoong's hand. “That doesn't mean you need to back down. Just that you need to be stronger, so that nobody can say 'no' to you.”

He grinned. Jaejoong liked the sound of that. That was something he hadn't been able to do in the past, but becoming stronger felt a little bit more in the realm of possibility now. He hadn't seen anything that had happened over the past few months coming, so he felt more capable of letting unexpected things happen. Of making them happen.

When Junsu left, Jaejoong went back down the sitting room to see his parents. “You've had quite a few guests coming through these past few weeks,” his mother said. “All friends of yours? Trainees?”

“Yes. Both. They're friends from this summer.”

His mother looked at his father nervously. “I don't know how to ask this... so you'll have to forgive me, since I'm very new to the whole idea... but are you dating one of them?”

Jaejoong almost choked. “D-dating?”

“I don't know if it's too soon for that, but... you're going to be an idol soon, and you're going to meet all kinds of people, not all of them good. I was just thinking it would be so much better if you could have a nice, healthy relationship with someone who is good to you. Your friend Yunho wouldn't be so bad?” She looked at Jaejoong anxiously. “Or Junsu, maybe?”

“You... really think that?”

She nodded. “I want you to make good choices for yourself, even if they are choices that others might frown upon. If you're going to be living that type of lifestyle, you should at least not involve yourself with the kind of questionable types you see on TV.”

Jaejoong glanced at his father, who shrugged. “So,” he said carefully, “Yunho would really be fine?”

His mother's eyes brightened. “He would! I feel like I would worry about you a lot less, if it was him. I know he doesn't seem like... the type... but I just want what's best for you, if that would make you happy.”

“Well, that's good,” Jaejoong said softly. “Because I like Yunho. A lot.”

His mother sighed. “Then look after each other well, all right? And be... careful. Those news reports about your sunbaenim did not look good.”

Jaejoong nodded. He couldn't afford not to be careful; he was learning this little by little. It was his own happiness he would be dealing with, his and Yunho's, and he wasn't about to throw it away after what he'd gone through to have it in the first place.

0o0

Just a few more months, and school will be over, Jaejoong coached himself during homeroom. Or we could start getting more advanced training schedules, and I won't have to come to class anymore. Please, god, just let that day come soon.

Saehee had just released an apology statement on SNS that morning, and his classmates were having a field day with it. He didn't answer any of the questions they asked for her sake, but that wasn't stopping any of them-- particularly Junwoo, who Jaejoong still hated from their incident over the summer-- from talking about it at the top of their lungs, so he would have to hear it.

“I don't know why she thinks she's hot stuff now that she's dating that actor,” he was saying, his eyes boring into the back of Jaejoong's head. “I don't get what all the hype is about Starkiss is, anyways. Gaeun's the only hot one. Brie's ugly, and that Soorin's a freak.”

Jaejoong clenched his fist and imagined their meeting that summer going a different way. Yunho skewering his hand, Junsu using the meat cleaver he'd brought with him, Changmin squashing him like an insignificant bug. Guys like Junwoo were all talk, and Jaejoong bet he would be telling a different story after their group debuted and were doing things everyone else could only dream of.

Jaejoong's cell phone buzzed in his pocket, Junsu's number flashing on the screen. Jaejoong glanced at the time. He'd made the mistake of getting to school early, so he had a moment to take it if he went out into the hallway. If his teachers scolded him, he could always say it was about work.

“Junsu?”

“HYUNG!” Junsu yelled. “I GOT IN!”

“You got in!” Jaejoong practically screamed. Some of the underclassmen milling in the hallway gave him an odd look, but he didn't care.

“I'm heading over to the agency to discuss arrangements right now. I called Yoochun already, and he said he'd tell Yunho and Changmin. If everything goes well, I can be introduced when you guys come in this afternoon.”

“Aish, I wish I could come in now. Everyone at school is being a pain over Saehee noona.”

“Do you have vocal lessons scheduled for today?” Junsu asked eagerly. “I really want to sing. You said you didn't all have the same trainer, right, and you're split off into groups? I want to be in hyung's group, for sure. Should I make a special request?”

“Hyunsoo nim's in charge of the vocal team arrangements. I think he'll put you with us without you asking.”

“I hope so!” Junsu fell silent. “By the way, hyung. Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

“Eh? What's this, now?”

“You didn't have to do as much for me as you did. When you and Yunho hyung were having problems, Yoochunnie was the one to help you out, and I didn't even get what was going on. But even so, for my sake you extended yourself and made it possible to sing with you, even when I was an idiot and wouldn't talk to any of you. Thank you, hyung. I'll make it up to you, I promise.”

“You don't have to...” Jaejoong muttered, ducking his head. He was just so happy at the thought of Junsu performing with them that he couldn't see what could possibly make him happier.

“I gotta go now, hyung. But I'll be seeing you soon, so wait for me patiently!”

Patient was the last word Jaejoong would use to describe how he felt for the rest of the day. He completely ignored his classmates and focused only slightly on his teachers during his lessons. If he didn't have to worry about his phone getting confiscated, he would have been texting everyone else, hashing over the news, but all he could do was prepare himself for getting to see the three of them later. The only thing that pulled him down was that Yoochun couldn't be with them yet, but he knew he still had awhile to wait for that. Yoochun was working hard, and they'd just have to wait to see if that work would pay off.

Jaejoong cut out of school a little early; it wasn't like he was processing his schoolwork, anyways, and his walk was going to be drawn out by the fresh coat of snow on the ground. The snowfall was coming early this year, a promise of a cold winter ahead. He wondered when C&M would let them start dorming. He didn't want Yunho and Changmin to have to keep having to be bussed over in rough weather, though he knew that Changmin needed to be close to his school, since he was just a second year.

None of the other trainees were around when Jaejoong got there, so he slipped into the changing room and pulled on his workout gear alone. Junsu was probably in the offices, but he was still itching to see him. He checked his phone for word from Yunho, but they were still on the bus over. Changmin wanted a congratulatory feast, but that was the only news they had.

Chansik and Jongwoo popped in first. “Hyung, you look excited, did something else good happen?” Chansik asked.

“It's a surprise,” Jaejoong said, not bothering to hide his grin.

“Aw, c'mon, hyung,” Jongwoo said. “We could use a piece of good news. I honestly thought everybody would be all gloomy again because of noona's SNS post. Minjun-ssi's fanbase is tearing into her again.”

“I do feel bad about that,” Jaejoong said sincerely. “But everyone was expecting some kind of a statement from her, so she needed to put something out there to move forward. They'll have to get tired of it eventually.”

“Please tell us what was making you happy,” Chansik pressed. “Was this what Shinwon ah was talking about before? About the atmosphere around you being different?”

“Ah- that. Please just ignore what Shinwon ah said.”

“Ignore what I said?” Shinwon said, popping into the room. “Hyung, are you giving questionable advice to Chansikkie?”

“Who said you could call me so familiarly already?” Chansik muttered, turning red.

“We're the same age, what's the problem?”

Haejin and Chaozhi came in next, their hair covered in snow. Haejin looked around for Yunho, but when he couldn't find him, he went for Jaejoong, the 'second-in-command.' “Jaejoong hyung,” he said cheerfully. “It's snowing again.”

“Not too badly, I hope?” Jaejoong checked his phone again. Yunho and Changmin were probably close now, and he hoped this wouldn't slow them down even more.

“Not a storm, but enough to make it harder to walk,” Chaozhi said. Jaejoong could barely hear him over the racket Shinwon was making in teasing Chansik, and Jongwoo's jovial laughter.

Finally, a flushed and snowy looking Yunho and Changmin came in. Jaejoong immediately made his way over to them. “Was he out of the offices yet?”

“I'm sure they're going to keep him there until they're ready to introduce him,” Yunho said, grinning. “I thought Yoochun was going to have a heart attack when he told us at school this morning. We're all so proud.”

“Every group needs a cute mascot,” Changmin added, helpfully.

Everyone was still energetic and fired up by time they made it to the practice room together, unlike the gloominess Jongwoo had originally predicted. When Hyunsoo nim poked his head into the room, it took a minute for everyone to actually notice he was there, what with the racket Chansik and Shinwon were making over each other, and the loud cheers of Haejin and Chaozhi as they watched Jongwoo try out a few of his B-Boy moves on the floor.

“Good to see everyone's spirits up,” Hyunsoo nim said, clapping his hands. His suit was pastel pink, spelling out a special occasion. The other trainees sat up straighter. “I know a lot of you were upset previously about losing Seungmin, but I have some good news. We have a new trainee coming in from Dynamic Media, who will be joining vocal group three.” He leaned part way back into his office. “Junsu?”

Junsu walked out, grinning so broadly that he seemed to shine with his happiness. The other trainees automatically grinned back. His atmosphere was so good that they couldn't help but be drawn into it. Junsu locked eyes one by one with Yunho, Jaejoong, and Changmin, and they nodded and smiled back. They weren't complete yet, but they were one piece closer.

“I'm glad to meet all of you,” he said. “I'm Kim Junsu, sixteen years old. I specialize in vocals and dance. Please look after me!” He released one of his little eu kyang kyang laughs as he bowed.

“Junsu is previously trained, but he will need help getting up to speed on the dances you've been learning, so I hope you will all step up and take good care,” Hyunsoo nim said. “Yunho, I trust you'll lead by example?”

“Of course.” Yunho bowed. “On behalf of all the trainees, welcome to C&M.”

Hyunsoo nim gave them a nice long spiel about updates to their vocal lesson schedule and which trainers would be stopping by that week, and Jaejoong was still so tense with excitement that he nearly exploded with it when Hyunsoo nim finally left them alone for a moment before their vocal teachers came in. He threw his arms around Junsu, and was soon followed by Yunho and Changmin.

“...that isn't usually how you greet new members,” Chansik said faintly, his eyes widening. Chaozhi and Haejin looked at each other in alarm, as if they weren't sure whether or not they should join in hugging the new trainee or not.

“It's okay, we know him,” Yunho said laughing.

“Another one of your friends?” Chansik said, his lip jutting out. I see another ice cream event in my future, Jaejoong thought to himself.

“I hope I can be a friend to all of you,” Junsu said, smiling sweetly. “Let's all get along, okay?” Even Chansik couldn't help smiling back at Junsu,even if it was tentative.

“So, we're back to nine again,” Yunho said, releasing Junsu. “Let's keep working hard and keep our performances strong, all right? C&M family, hwaiting!”

They all pumped their fists, Junsu with them for the first time. Yoochun ah, wherever you are, I hope you're getting ready to join us, Jaejoong thought, raising his own arm for Yunho's cheer. We're getting so close now, but we can only do this if you're here.

I know you were waiting for me
So I thank you for the love inside of you
I am always next to you now
I promise you