I'LL BE THERE

They had several vocal and dance practices together under observation before Hyunsoo nim announced anything about their new vocal arrangements. It had been an interesting experience for Jaejoong, and he'd essentially gotten to perform in different units with all the new trainees, Changmin included. Shinwon had the most promise as a lead vocal, and Jongwoo was excellent for an amateur rapper. Chaozhi and Haejin's voices had just recently developed, so they were still working on perfecting their sound, though they had good foundations for fourteen year olds. Jaejoong was still fairly confident that Changmin's voice was the one that sounded best with his and Yunho's, though Shinwon was also a tempting candidate.

By the middle of the week, Hyunsoo nim had made his decision. “For the time being, vocal group one will be Chaozhi, Seungmin, and Shinwon. Vocal group two will be Haejin, Chansik, and Jongwoo. Vocal group three will be Yunho, Jaejoong, and Changmin. Vocal group two will occasionally work with group one and group three to gain experience in working in tandem with vocal lines in their training. For now, all trainees will have dance training together, and-” he pointed at Yunho. “Yunho will be put in charge as interim leader.”

Yunho's mouth fell open. “But Jaejoong's the oldest.”

“By like a few days,” Jaejoong snorted. “You'd be far better than me.”

“If you say so,” Yunho said, still looking somewhat baffled.

“Now that you have an idea of each other's song and dance styles, you should have an ice breaker to get to know each other better during your break,” Hyunsoo nim said. “I'll order a pizza for everybody, and you can chat until you have your first vocal lessons in your new groups.” He pulled out his cell phone and left the room to place an order.

“Is he always like that?” Chaozhi asked once Hyunsoo nim was out of ear shot. “I thought he would be scary, but he's like a favorite uncle.”

“Up until you make a lot of mistakes at your training, that is,” Seungmin said. “How about we have the sunbae trainees introduce themselves first? Leader can start!”

Yunho shook his head. “You don't have to call me that. As for the introduction, we already know each other's names and ages at this point, so why not introduce ourselves by saying a random fact about ourselves and sharing who our favorite singer or group is?”

Everyone nodded.

“All right... fun fact about me...” He glanced at Jaejoong wryly. “I got my start selling vegetables in a farmer's market, but I can't actually grow anything myself because my aunt would never let me into the garden except to load up crates. My favorite artist is Michael Jackson, particularly his dancing. Jaejoong?”

“Er... I like to cook a lot? I grew up with eight sisters, so my mother needed all the help she could get in the kitchen, and I volunteered a lot because I found it relaxing. As for an artist I like, I listen to Wheesung sunbae a lot. All of his compositions are very good.”

Seungmin went next. “When I was little, I had an ear infection so bad that I almost lost my hearing. Before I went into surgery, I made a promise to god that I would live my life to the fullest and be a strong and brave person if only I could have my hearing back. So when the surgery worked, I started entering ulzzang contests and taking vocal lessons to be an idol, and here I am now. My favorite artist is the Starkiss sunbaes, especially Saehee noona.”

“I started rapping to annoy my older sister,” Chansik said. “I was surprised when I was actually kind of good at it, so I started covering songs from Western artists and going around Seoul to find street performers so I could get better. My favorite artist is Fly to the Sky... but I'm starting to get into other kinds of vocalists now, outside of hip-hop.”

Chaozhi volunteered to go next. “I'm from the Yuexiu district of China. My father was an Olympic gymnast, and he wanted me to train as well, but when my mother left him, she took me to Korea with her, where she became a foreign languages teacher. I started singing along with my mother when she sang in Mandarin around the house, reminding me of all the songs she loved from back home, but I want to try singing in Korean now. My favorite singer is my mother because she taught me how to sing well.”

“A fun fact about me is that because of my hair, I used to be confused for a girl when I went to the men's room,” Shinwon said, running his fingers through it. “But I never was bothered about being teased, because I made money from appearing in CFs for shampoo. As for my favorite artist...” He paused. “I like rappers a lot, because it's something I can't do, but I don't have a favorite in particular yet.”

“A fun fact...?” Changmin mused when it was his turn. “My childhood dream was to invent the first self-replenishing refrigerator. I don't have a favorite singer either right now, but my family likes BoA and thinks I should have auditioned for her company instead.”

“I can speak Korean, Japanese, and English fluently, and I'm learning Chinese, so I may need your help sometimes, Chaozhi ah,” Jongwoo said, reaching out to ruffle his new dongsaeng's hair. “My favorite artist is Jay-Z.”

“I want to become a rapper because I like telling stories, but I was dyslexic and had trouble reading and writing, so I found it easier to sing,” Haejin finished. “I like Tablo from Epik High the best.”

Everyone had questions for everyone else, so they continued to go around the room asking more about each other until the pizza arrived and they happily scarfed down. Everyone seemed so nice, and it still surprised Jaejoong a little. Where were these kinds of people when he had been suffering alone in school? It had felt for so long that he'd been the only one chasing what had seemed like a foolish dream, but he really hadn't been so alone after all. He loved listening to their stories and hearing about their own trials, and most of all how they had been able to become strong just as he had because of Yunho.

After awhile, vocal group one was called in for vocal practice, leaving the rest of them to finish off the pizza. Yunho leaned into Changmin and Jaejoong, lowering his voice.

“Jaejoongie, I know I said this was a good weekend for you to come over,” Yunho said, looking pained, “but something's come up.”

Jaejoong's heart fell. He'd really looked forward to being able to go back, not only to see the neighborhood and Yoochun again, but because it was closing on one month since he'd last been able to kiss Yunho. What is it this time? Another family visit, or has he just gotten so used to not being with me that it doesn't matter anymore?

“It's not that you can't come over if you want to,” Yunho said quickly, noting Jaejoong's hurt expression. “But I was actually hoping you may be able to help with the situation with Yoochun. It's gotten worse.”

“What happened?”

“Yoochun hyung and Junsu hyung got into a fight,” Changmin said tiredly.

“A fight?” Jaejoong blinked. “Those two can fight with each other... and not have it be a joke?”

“It doesn't happen often, definitely,” Yunho sighed. “If they can see each other in person, they're able to get over their anger quickly, but the argument happened over the phone since Junsu's in the city right now.”

“What was the fight about? Junsu leaving to join an agency?”

Yunho shook his head. “You know Yoochun, he isn't the kind of guy who would get mad over someone doing something they want to do. I think he originally got mad over Junsu not answering any of his calls or telling him where he was, and then Junsu scolded him about trying to give up on working at the fish market for his sake, and it went downhill from there. Junsu still won't tell Yoochun where he's staying or how he's been, and Junsu's upset with him for making even more problems with the family business, even though he's the one who started it. Honestly, I think the two of them have been friends for so long that Junsu leaving pretty much set them both into self-destruct mode, but it's getting to the point where I don't want to leave them like this. Yoochun is spitting fire back home, and he's threatening to come to Seoul to hunt Junsu down, which is why I thought you might be able to help.”

“How? I don't know where he is either.”

“I do,” Changmin answered, taking the last three pieces of pizza for himself. “After he got in touch with Yoochun hyung finally, I texted him and told him that I wanted to send him free soccer tickets I had won, so he sent me his address. I was lying, of course.”

“Of course,” Jaejoong said, smiling in spite of himself. “So why don't you just give it to Yoochun ah?”

“Junsu hyung's being an idiot now, but I don't dislike him to the point where I want him to die,” Changmin said with a shrug. “And Yoochun hyung definitely wants to kill him right now. Someone needs to calm them both down and figure out what's really wrong, and then we can let them talk to each other. Yunho hyung and I will take care of Yoochun hyung, and you can take care of Junsu hyung.”

“Why couldn't you take care of Junsu ah?”

“Seeing Changmin doesn't really tend to have a calming effect on people,” Yunho pointed out. “Besides, Junsu really looks up to you as a hyung, so I think he'd actually listen to what you have to say. But it's up to you.”

Jaejoong sighed. Of course he couldn't put his selfish desires above Junsu and Yoochun, not after all they had done for him. Even if he couldn't have yet another weekend together with Yunho, there would be others, but if he didn't lend his friends a hand and their relationship continued to suffer, he knew he'd regret it.

“All right, I'll do it,” he said. “Text me the address, Changmin, and I'll take care of it this weekend.”

“And if you can get him to come around, try and make him come back home to see Yoochun in person,” Yunho said. “You could come with him, even if it's for just a day.” He looked at Jaejoong pleadingly, a look which sped up his heart pace. I need to be with you, even if it's only just for awhile.

“I will,” Jaejoong said firmly. “I'll make him come back even if I have to drag him.”

0o0

Though only a handful of the trainees were able to stop by on Friday because of classes, Jaejoong made a brief visit to C&M before leaving to see Junsu. Dayoung was temporarily subbing as the receptionist again while the other one was out sick, and she said she had an important favor to ask of him. He hadn't wanted to get too late of a start, but promised to stop and see her for just a few minutes before starting his mission.

As soon as he walked through the doors, Jaejoong saw exactly what she needed him for. There was a stack of posters about as high as a small child piled on her desk, obscuring her view of the main door and threatening to topple over at any second.

“Jaejoong, thank god,” she said as soon as she saw him. “Personnel from Mnet dropped them off this morning, and I could only get Hyunsoo nim and Gaeun from Starkiss to take a few off my hands. Could you maybe pass a handful of them out to your classmates and get them out of my way, please?”

“What are they?” Jaejoong asked, grabbing one from the top of the stack. It looked like a contest announcement, but he hadn't remembered hearing anything about it from Hyunsoo nim or Hi Stan previously.

“C&M got roped into it at the last minute,” Dayoung said, ing more of the posters into Jaejoong's hands. “Apparently all the major labels are taking part in some sort of casting event for walk-in auditioners, and Hyunsoo nim thought it would be good publicity for C&M to be involved. Labels are always losing trainees to rivals, so it's good to have more talent in reserve, right? Anyways, just get some of them out of my hair, or I'll have to keep staring at this ungodly pile until it goes away. You're going downtown today, right, so if you want to, go on and pin some up on bulletins or whatever.” The phone started going off. “This is why I wanted to quit being a receptionist,” she muttered before answering it with a bright, “Hello, you've reached C&M Entertainment!”

Jaejoong shook his head and hauled the posters off to his car. He wasn't interested in the slightest at passing them out at school in case one of his classmates did actually make it into C&M, so he'd have to think of something else to do with them.

It wasn't a long drive to Junsu's place, but the part of the city Jaejoong found it in wasn't incredibly nice. The buildings were in a slightly dilapidated state, and the bricked pavement leading up to the doors was uneven and difficult not to trip over. Of course, that was about as good as a high school student like Junsu could afford with the money he earned from working at the market. Checking his phone, Jaejoong confirmed which number was Junsu's and rapped on the door with the discolored brass knocker nailed there.

It took a few more raps, but Junsu finally opened the door. He was dressed in sweatpants and had a towel hooked over his shoulders, so Jaejoong assumed he'd interrupted him in the middle of a workout. Junsu stared at him confusedly for a minute, but he finally forced a smile and pushed the door the rest of the way open. “Jaejoong hyung,” he said, his voice sounding somewhat sad and resigned. It had been so long that Jaejoong had heard it that it made his heart throb. We were all supposed to see each other regularly after I left. What happened to us? It was great to have Changmin and Yunho at C&M together, but without Junsu and Yoochun speaking to each other, it all still rang hollow.

“May I come in?” Jaejoong asked.

“Go on,” Junsu said. “Just be careful, it's a bit messy. My roommates aren't the cleanest people on the planet.”

It was a bit of an understatement. There were sheets and futons strewn across the floor, and more pieces of dirty laundry than Jaejoong cared to count. Even Junsu was pulling a grimace as he helped Jaejoong make his way to the only visible pieces of furniture in the main room-- a faded armchair and a rickety rocking chair.

“Did Changmin ah give you the address?” Junsu asked. “I take it you didn't bring soccer tickets with you?”

“Sorry, but that was a lie on his part,” Jaejoong said. “He and Yunho were worried about you. Are you all right here? Everything at your agency going well?”

Junsu nodded. “I'm surviving. I saved up all my money from last summer, so I can make it here for awhile. The agency is fine, I guess. I'm just not sure my sound is all that good with the other trainees. If I still want to do ballads, it's not going to be a really good fit.” He laughed weekly and looked down at his lap. “I heard Changmin is also with you guys at C&M? You must be having a good time.”

“You could always switch companies, you know. We'd be happy to have you.”

“I know. But I'm sure Yoo-... Yunho must also be annoyed with me. I haven't been in contact with him either.”

“Why not?” Jaejoong asked gently. “Everybody's thinking of you, Junsu ah.”

“Yeah, and everybody's also reporting everything I say right back to Yoochun.”

“And how is that bad? I thought you and Yoochun were best friends.”

Junsu chewed on his lower lip. “Best friends. I thought that way, too, but it's not exactly like that. With Yunho and Changmin they weren't forced upon each other. They met when Yunho moved in with Auntie Minjung, and they've been close to each other ever since. But Yoochun and I have been next to each other since we were born, thanks to our parents. Everything we did, we did together for all those years. If he came up with a stupid idea and got hurt, I was getting hurt right next to him. If I got in trouble, he got in trouble. It's more of an entwined fate than anything else, and neither of us really asked for it, did we?”

Jaejoong tilted his head. “That may be how you started out, but if you really didn't like each other, you still wouldn't have gotten so close.”

“Maybe. But all I know is that's the way it is. If I had stayed at the fish market, the two of us would have done that until we were old and gray and had sons of our own taking care of business. And it's only because I left that he's gotten it into his head to leave, too. He's going to put himself through all that crap I just went through with my family, and for what? He'd be happy if he stayed. He always said he would stay. So if I have to cut our fate apart and make him hate me to help him change his mind again, I'll do it. I don't want him to fight with his parents and live like this just because that was the choice I made.”

Is that how it is? Jaejoong hadn't known either Junsu or Yoochun for long, so he didn't know anything about how they had grown up, or how they viewed their relationship with each other. Yoochun didn't strike him as the kind of person who would follow after someone blindly if it wasn't what he wanted to do, but maybe Junsu knew a side of him that Jaejoong didn't. But one thing for sure struck him as wrong: Junsu was clearly trying to avoid having Yoochun suffer, but was ignoring the fact that hiding from him was making him suffer just as much.

“You know, Yunho was never planning on auditioning to C&M,” Jaejoong said, placing his hand over Junsu's. “I forced his hand by sending in a tape to them without his permission. I'm sure if he had stayed where he was, he would have been happy enough, but because I wanted to be with him, I couldn't accept that as an ending. That's how it is sometimes when you care about someone. You want to be with them, even if it changes your plans or theirs a little bit. It's not always a weakness or a flaw to let that happen, or else Yunho is a weak, weak man. Changmin, too.” Jaejoong smiled gently. “And me. I know Yoochun is a kid by most people's standards, but he's not dumb. I don't think what he's trying to do here is throw his life away to chase after you. I think he just wants to spend his life doing something he likes with people he cares about, whether that means at a market or on a stage. Why shouldn't he be able to make that simple little wish come true?”

“Because if it goes wrong, I'll never be able to forgive myself,” Junsu sighed. “When I said that stuff about getting hurt and getting in trouble, that was all usually my fault when we were younger, and Yoochun was the one trying to look out for me. I don't need to be any more trouble to him than I've already been.”

“I think if you had really been trouble, he would have been glad to see you go. Besides... from what Yunho says, it seems like Yoochun is determined to make a little bit of trouble with his family regardless, and it would be better for him if you supported him rather than pretend it isn't happening. Isn't that what friends are for?”

Junsu smiled slowly. “Well, they certainly are good at annoying the crap out of you, at least. Wasn't it only the end of the summer when it was just you who was planning on auditioning? Maybe you're the one we were all chasing after.”

“So why not go the rest of the way? You should try transferring to our company so we can sing together again.”

“I'll look into it, but I'm not promising anything. C&M is considered to be a higher tier place than the agency I'm with right now, so it's not like I can just get in for certain.”

Jaejoong shrugged. Personally, he thought Junsu's vocals were better than anyone else's in C&M, but it wasn't worth arguing with him over. “So, do you at least think you'll be able to make up with Yoochun ah now? And get in touch more often with Yunho and Changmin ah, since they really miss you, too?”

Junsu stared at his hands, thinking. “All right, all right, you win. But if Yoochun winds up regretting this later, I'm not taking responsibility. I'll give him a call after you leave.”

“Actually, I was hoping you might consider taking the bus trip to visit him tomorrow. In person.”

“Hyung! It's bad enough that I have to apologize, don't make me grovel to that guy.”

“Oh, come on! You've known each other forever, it up and just getting it over with shouldn't be that hard.”

“Except for the part where Yoochun can be a magnificently smug jerk when he wants to be.” Junsu looked back up at Jaejoong. “Is Yunho hyung not staying with you this weekend?”

“He's with Yoochun ah right now.”

“So you'd definitely prefer making the visit in person.”

“I would, but I also think it would be bad of you to call Yoochun after avoiding him for so long.”

“It's no more than he deserves...”

“Junsu ah!”

“Fine! I'll go! It'll be embarrassing and awkward, but I'll do it for you, hyung!” Junsu folded his arms across his chest and pouted, but with a face like his, he only winded up looking terribly cute. “We can leave tomorrow, you said?”

“Yeah...” Jaejoong looked around the room, frowning. “Er... would you like to come over and stay with me for the night? I'm sure this a lovely house and all, but it doesn't look too comfortable.”

“You're telling me. If it isn't too troublesome for you, I'll definitely come over. All my roommates snore.”

Jaejoong waited around for Junsu to gather his things into a backpack and then took him back out to the car. It was dark out, and when Jaejoong looked up, he could see snowflakes just beginning to fall from the sky. “Junsu ah, look,” he said, pointing excitedly.

“Oh boy, snow,” Junsu sighed. “Just the perfect thing to make all my commutes easier. Maybe we shouldn't head out tomorrow after all.”

“I had no idea you were such a big coward.”

“Hyung!”

Jaejoong took Junsu's arm and linked it together with his for a moment. “I don't know if you can feel it now, but I know this is the right thing,” he said firmly. “The five of us should definitely stick together, so we don't have to do any more chasing after each other in the first place, right?”

“Maybe you're right,” Junsu said, giving in and smiling. “We'll just have to see.”

0o0

The next day, the two of them took the bus together, though Junsu's reservations seemed to be creeping back the closer they got. He knew how angry Yoochun was, and wasn't looking forward to dealing with that anger before they could resolve their issues and go back to being friends again.

Jaejoong tried to be as encouraging as possible for him, but his mind kept slipping back to Yunho. His own body was feeling foreign to him with how it was behaving now, taut with longing and expectation but jittery and nervous at the same time. It had been too long since he'd been touched by Yunho for more than just a few seconds at a time, and he'd half forgotten how good it would feel, how much his heart pounded just by being held lightly in his arms. He wanted the miles to disappear so they could be together faster, now, but he held himself back from those thoughts as best as he could. He was here for Junsu and Yoochun, not for himself. But still...

The bus finally dropped them off a few blocks away from Yunho's. “I'll go on to Yoochun's then,” Junsu said, sighing tragically. “You go on and see Yunho hyung like you want to.”

“Eh? Don't you want me to come along with you?”

“The last thing I want while I'm doing this is an audience, hyung. If we start trying to kill each other, I'll just call the police and have them take care of it.” He wrapped his arms around Jaejoong's shoulders. “Anyways, thanks, hyung. You don't have to worry about me, but I'm glad you did. I'll take care of it from here, so now just think about the person you really love.”

“Okay,” Jaejoong said softly. “But before you go, I have something for Yoochun ah.” He pulled out one of the folded up posters Dayoung had given him out of his pocket. “Let him take a look at this and see if it's something he wants to do. And please look after him well while you're together.”

The two of them split off in their separate directions, but it wasn't long before Jaejoong felt his pace quickening so that he was practically running towards Yunho's street. The familiar houses passed him by one by one until he reached Changmin's and finally Yunho's. He stood there for a moment, tears collecting in his eyes. There was the rusty pick-up truck in its same old spot, the path back to Auntie Minjung's garden, the tall oak tree in the front shedding the last of its leaves. “I'm home,” he whispered under his breath before walking up the driveway to the front door.

He knocked once and waited, listening for the tell tale footsteps rushing downstairs to meet him. As soon as he could see a face popping up on the other side of the glass, he broke into a sloppy grin that felt as if it was taking over his entire face. Finally, finally, finally. Finally, at long last, it's just us.

Yunho threw open the door, and two hands reached out to roughly pull him inside.

Everyone knows it was you
When I was worn out and tired from loneliness
You, the person who laughed and sometimes cried
And was always there next to me

Yes, without you, I can't go anywhere
The hand which you held everyday
Knows that kind of thankfulness