RUMOR

Jaejoong had never been to Yunho's home city, Gwangju, before, and Yunho had never really talked about it, so all he knew of it was based on what he knew of it from news stories and pictures. In spite of being smaller than Seoul, it was still fairly bustling and packed with stores and restaurants and high rises as they drove through the streets, a far cry from the small and homey district where Auntie Minjung and the other three members had lived. Even though they'd spent their last years together in Seoul, Jaejoong still had a hard time imagining a young Yunho in such a big city. He'd seemed so native to where Jaejoong had met him that it felt odd that he'd spent more of his life here instead.

“Did you miss it after you moved away from Gwangju?” Jaejoong asked Yunho, watching the pedestrians walking through the city from behind the tinted windows of their van.

“Not terribly. I'm good at adapting wherever I am. As long as I could sing and dance and play guitar, it didn't matter if I did it here or somewhere else.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Junsu, Changmin, and Yoochun were sitting in the back. “Besides, my best friends all lived in the same town as my aunt, so I didn't mind moving to live near them.”

“How touching,” Yoochun said, placing his hand over his heart.

“I'm moved that you moved for us,” Junsu added.

“I didn't say it was for you. It was because I flunked school, remember?”

“And probably would have flunked after you moved if I hadn't helped you with your homework,” Changmin reminded him. “What kind of high schooler needs a middle schooler to tutor him?”

“Hey, don't make me sound stupid to Jaejoongie! I could have passed easily if I hadn't skipped class all the time.”

“Defending yourself with truancy?” Jaejoong asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Real classy.”

“Boojae!” Yunho pouted and glared at him. “Still, I feel a little bit regretful about it. I didn't dislike it here, but I was still just a kid when I left. My memories are getting a little bit fuzzy about all the time I spent here. I feel like I owe it to myself and my family to remember it better.”

“Things always wind up triggering when you go back, though,” Yoochun offered. “Whenever I smell fish, you can't imagine the number of things that come flooding back to me out of nowhere.”

“All the sweet memories from the fish wagon,” Junsu sighed.

“All the sweet memories of buying fish from your market and having it for dinner,” Changmin added.

Yunho laughed and shook his head. “Unfortunately, my old room's pretty empty and doesn't smell like anything. But still, it'll be nice to go back. I may have been a truant, but there's happy memories there, anyways.”

Changmin, Junsu, and Yoochun were dropped off at a hotel in the city where they had reservations, and Jaejoong and Yunho grabbed a taxi together to go on to Yunho's old house. Jaejoong had been trying not to think of it over the past few weeks, but now the anxiety was beginning to hit him. It's fine, we're not actually telling them anything, he reminded himself. Just testing the waters. That's all it is. If it really seems like things won't go well... we don't have to tell them ever, if we don't want to. There are things that could go wrong in keeping it a secret from them, but if it's for the sake of our happiness...

Yunho took Jaejoong's hand and squeezed it. “Don't think so much about it,” he whispered. “I'll be looking out for you, as always.”

“I know. I'll love you no matter who cares or not, but...” He pursed his lips. “Your parents are on the shortlist of people I'd prefer approved of us.”

“Me too. I've spent so much of my life making them sad and being difficult, and it would be nice to do something that wouldn't fall under that category.” He grinned sardonically. “But honestly, if being together with you makes them sad, I'll take it as their problem and not mine in this case. I'm the happiest I've ever been.”

Jaejoong smiled. “Me too.”

“Then that's that. Let's just see if we can convert them a little to our way of thinking.”

The taxi took them to a nice residential area and dropped them off in front of a medium sized house at the corner of the street. “Home sweet home,” Yunho said. “Or at least one of them.” He helped Jaejoong out of the taxi, and the two of them headed up the steps to ring the bell.

After a few seconds, Yunho's father answered. “Oh, now here's a face I'm not used to seeing off screen,” he said, grinning. “Is it really our son come back to see us?”

Yunho grinned back. “Dad. How've you been?”

“Better, now that you're here. Come on in.” He nodded to Jaejoong. “Good to see you as well, Jaejoong goon. Have you been doing well?”

“I've been fine,” Jaejoong said, bowing. “Pardon my intrusion.”

“Not at all. We're always happy to see friends of Yunho's. You're more than welcome.”

“Is that my baby I hear?” Yunho's mother poked her head into the hallway, her pretty face breaking out into a wide smile. “Ah, Yunho. Come over here and give your mother a hug.”

He obliged her, and she held on tightly, closing her eyes. “You've lost weight again,” she said softly, giving him another squeeze. “Oh, and you've brought Jaejoong goon with you? Nice to see you as always.”

“Thanks for letting me visit,” Jaejoong said.

“Of course, of course. The other three were too busy to come? I would have been the talk of the town if I had gotten all five members of Tohoshinki to come to my house.”

“They have some sightseeing to do,” Yunho explained. “Besides, I thought it would be nice to have a quieter meeting, since I haven't seen you in so long.”

“Which also makes me happy. Although your sister might be a little disappointed.”

“Where is she?”

“She's still in class at the moment. Come, let's sit you down in the living room, and I'll bring in some coffee for you two.” She ushered them in and set them down on the floral couch in front of the coffee table. The day's newspaper was spread out on it, which Yunho's father tidied up, and there was also a copy of the Dispatch set beside it.

“You read this?” Yunho asked, poking the cover.

“Just for security purposes. If anyone is having rumors about you, we'd like to hear them before people start asking us questions,” his father explained.

“Especially after what that awful actress did to you,” his mother added, setting down their coffee mugs. “We like to keep tabs on all five of you just to make sure we're up-to-date on everything that's going on. It's not like we read it from cover to cover, or anything.” She looked at Jaejoong curiously. “So which one are you dating-- Park Soorin from Starkiss or my son?”

Jaejoong had just taken a sip of his coffee and started choking as soon as the words came from . Yunho carefully patted him on the back, his expression on edge.

“Sorry to shock you,” she said, laughing. “I was joking to show that we know better than to believe everything we read. Although if you are dating Park Soorin, you have my congratulations. She's a talented young woman.”

“I'm not dating her, but I agree. She's very talented.”

“Are the rumors about you and Starkiss's leader also misreported?” she asked, turning to Yunho.

“Eh? Gaeun noona? Those rumors are still around?” Yunho shook his head. “I swear, I'll never get caught wearing the same thing as noona again, if that's all it takes for people to suspect me of anything. Noona and I are just friends. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen her outside of the company.”

“That's too bad. She seems like a nice, respectable young lady. But I understand that you five are not in a good position to be dating freely because of your fans. A pity. You're only young once, you should be allowed to take advantage of it. Being the imaginary girlfriend of thousands of young women isn't quite enough of a substitute.” She sipped her coffee. “I know you're busy, dear, but you should try to get out more. Even if you can't date now, that won't last indefinitely.”

“I get out plenty,” Yunho protested.

“Yes, and from what you've said, most of your friends are male. You can't even get into a proper dating rumor without it involving poor Jaejoong goon. You should at least know better than to be burdensome to your friend.”

“I don't find it burdensome,” Jaejoong said quickly.

“Of course, dear. Just don't indulge him too much. He gets spoiled much too easily, our Yunho. If you ever feel he's being too forward with you, you'd be better off telling him off rather than letting everyone come up with these silly rumors about you. I mean, the things we hear about you these days!”

Silly rumors. Jaejoong felt himself deflating a little bit. But of course that's what she'd think. The boy she knew wasn't someone who would choose me over everyone else. To everyone who doesn't really know, it would seem silly. That thought made him feel even worse. His love for Yunho had given him everything-- suffering and pain and happiness beyond anything he'd ever felt-- and it had never been a joke to him for a single second. How could someone else see it that way? How could it be so badly misunderstood?

“Mom,” Yunho said sharply, probably sharper than he meant to. “Jaejoong ah isn't doing anything wrong.”

“It's okay,” Jaejoong said out loud, more to himself than anyone else. His feelings of hurt had quickly passed, replaced by a solid feeling of resolve. Remember what you learned from Dami, he thought to himself. You aren't nothing. You don't have to apologize or submit to anything over how you feel. “It's okay,” he said again. “Really, spoiling Yunho ah makes me happy, too. He's our leader, and though he doesn't show it, all the burdens of our group tend to fall on him. Even when he got into an accident in Fukushima, even when I tried to hide what Dami was trying to do to us from him... still, he took on so many worries for all five of us. I'm older than him, but I've only been able to do so much while he takes on everything else on his own. If there's anything I can do to make him happy, even if it makes him a little spoiled in the process, I'll definitely do it for his sake. It doesn't matter what it makes people believe about us or not. It's only what I'm choosing to do.”

“Jaejoong ah...” He glanced at Yunho, and met the warm look in his eyes. Seeing him only reaffirmed everything he'd just said. He'd do anything to keep that tender look right where it was, no matter who tried to take it away.

“My my, Yunho has told us before what a good person you are, but it's good to know he's being cared for by someone who thinks of him to that extent,” Yunho's father said. “If that's the case, spoil away, Jaejoong goon.”

“Of course,” Yunho's mother said, reaching out to pat his cheek. “What a caring thing to say. Yunho is lucky to have a friend like you at his side. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise.”

Jaejoong accepted the touch and the sentiment, even though he knew it wasn't being given because she'd understood the depth of what he'd said. He was being looked at as a good friend to Yunho, and that was the most he'd ever be approved for. Those waters were clearly tested by now. They would only cause trouble by pushing any further.

To Jaejoong's relief, the conversation shifted to their new album and tour, which, as leader, Yunho was able to speak easily about, giving Jaejoong the time he needed to collect his thoughts and calm down. He hadn't really expected anything favorable to happen for him, but it was difficult to shake the nagging feeling of disappointment. They were still waiting for Yunho to find a girl. And if Jaejoong had anything to say about it, they would keep on waiting. He wasn't going to back down, but if they didn't either, wouldn't that leave Yunho in the middle? He didn't want to force him into that position or make him choose between two things that were important to him, but he couldn't just ignore his own feelings either.

The atmosphere lightened again when Yunho's younger sister came in and almost had a mini heart attack over seeing her brother again. When they were done hugging, she pumped the two of them with questions about other celebrities they'd met in the industry and if they knew any juicy gossip they could get away with sharing with her. When their parents left to bring in more snacks, she crept closer and lowered her voice. “So... did Mom and Dad ask about you guys dating?”

“Vaguely, yes. Why?”

“It was in that follow-up article about Dami from the Dispatch. That you two had couple rings, except Jaejoong wore his around his neck. Wasn't that one the pictures Sung Dami had on her camera? Anyways, they were concerned about it, until people began talking more about Jaejoong oppa and Soorin-ssi, and then about you and Gaeun-ssi. Oh, and I may have said something along the lines that I thought you two could be dating.”

“Eh? What would you know about that?”

“I know when my brother is looking like a pitiful, lovesick puppy around someone, that's all.” She pouted. “I'll support you whatever makes you happy, but don't think I'm not resentful. If you're like that, it's only going to make them more interested in marrying me off well. Wouldn't it be much more fun if I wound up swept off my feet by one of your idol friends?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Anyways, I like Jaejoong oppa. And mom and dad do, too, and of course they wouldn't blame him for anything if they knew the truth. They'd blame you, oppa. You already have enough of that to worry about, so be careful, okay?” She smiled up at Jaejoong. “Can't I supply all the well wishes for this family?”

“I'll take all the well wishes I can get,” Jaejoong said, smiling back. “So thank you.”

Yunho simply sighed. “I know I'd be the one to get in trouble. But still, if I keep quiet just to protect myself, it's not fair to Jaejoongie. Having to lie indefinitely, having to keep making them think that the rumors are jokes... I don't want that burden on him more than I don't want it on me.”

Jaejoong leaned his head against his shoulder. “I told you. I'll carry whatever burdens it takes to keep you happy. I'll share all your difficulties with you.”

“I know. That's why I won't say anything. For now.”

0o0

Their Gwangju concert was very well-received, and Yunho had a warm welcome home from the huge number of childhood friends and old classmates who came to their show. He was so mobbed after the show that Jaejoong felt like he wound up waiting in the van for hours for Yunho to escape the crush and go back to his parents' house with him. The other members had gone out for drinks incognito without them, so Jaejoong texted them somewhat grouchily while he waited for Yunho to get back.

Finally, he crawled into the van, looking completely exhausted. “Sorry about that.”

“Popular, are we?”

“We is right. I received confessions, but half of them were ones I was asked to pass along to you and the other members. I'm just surprised I actually remembered so many names, even though I skipped so many classes and barely saw most of them.”

“You're nice like that. So, are any of the presents you got from them any good?”

“They gave me the ones I'm supposed to pass along to you. If they're couple stuff, I'm keeping them.”

“Yah! You just got attacked by a swarm of fans and made me wait here for an hour, and you're not even going to give me my gifts?”

“Life's not fair, baby.”

“...I'm taking your bed tonight. You can sleep on the couch.”

“Actually, that's what my parents were going to make me do, anyways.”

“Really?” Jaejoong pouted. He'd just been joking. He was attached to falling asleep beside Yunho, and it made him annoyed when he couldn't.

Yunho's family had all gone to the concert, but hadn't waited for them while they dawdled at the venue cleaning up and greeting the local fans. They were sound asleep when they made it back, and though Jaejoong tried to convince Yunho to sneak up to bed with him, Yunho insisted that the moment he was there with him, he wouldn't want to leave and that his parents would catch him in the morning. Jaejoong resigned himself to sleeping alone in Yunho's old room, which was empty of almost all his possessions and felt eerily lonely. Jaejoong sat for a moment on Yunho's bed and looked around the room as if to try and take in everything Yunho had once seen there, but all he felt was more blankness. There were no posters on his walls, no books or CDs on his shelves, just scattered boxes here and there under his bed, and a few shirts he'd probably outgrown long ago hanging in the closet and a half-empty toy chest set below them. He didn't feel any closer to Yunho here, like he did back at Auntie Minjung's. All of their memories had happened far away from here, and he was only intruding on a world Yunho had shed long before they'd met each other and fallen in love.

But I want all of you, he thought, running his hands across the bedsheets. Even the parts you've left behind. Even the parts that won't let me in.

He curled up on the bed slowly, inhaling the stale scent of the unused room. Years ago, a younger Yunho dreamed here of a future that probably had nothing to do with him. Was it so wrong that he had come and changed everything? Maybe there were things Yunho had wanted before, but he was happy now. I'm the happiest I've ever been. He'd said that knowing everything he wouldn't be having. No wife, no kids, no way to deliver everything his family wanted with the person he'd chosen. All of that, and he was still happy. All of that, and he wanted to free Jaejoong of the burden of keeping their secret.

Jaejoong hid both his smile and happy tears in the creases of Yunho's pillow. Even if Yunho had never in his wildest dreams imagined that years later he'd have a boyfriend and not a girlfriend occupying his childhood bed, fate had led them here anyways. In spite of everything that could have happened, they'd chosen each other and fell in love. He didn't regret that he'd been the future awaiting Yunho. He always wanted to be that future, no matter what further changes for them both that caused.

I'm glad, he thought, thinking of the Yunho he'd never had the chance to know. I'm glad you found me. And more than anything, I'm glad you're keeping faith in me still.

0o0

They had to get ready to meet up with their other members and prepare to head to their next tour stop early the next morning, so the whole Jung family was up preparing breakfast for the boys hours before they'd normally get up. Yunho's sister helped out by falling asleep at the table, but Yunho for once actually lent a hand, as tired as he was, insisting that Jaejoong just sit down and relax since he was guest.

Still, Jaejoong felt a bit restless from the night before and offered to go out and grab the newspaper. He could already see that there was a feature on their concert and Yunho's hometown visit when he grabbed it from the stoop, and he was just about to skim it when realized there was also a copy of the Dispatch underneath it. Those headlines were screaming out about the now infamous cheating scandal which was slowly transforming into a divorce scandal, and even though Jaejoong had read more than he cared to on the subject, he still picked it up to check out the other sections. There wasn't much else of note, but he froze when he saw a small picture of Yunho from their print ad for the leather jacket company they'd repped in the gossip section. We definitely didn't release that advertisement for tabloids... and why would they use just him? He glanced next to the picture and saw a picture of Gaeun wearing the similarly styled burgundy jacket she'd said she would request from the company. Jaejoong looked up to the headline on the page-- it was a collection of the month's couple rumors and whether or not Dispatch could confirm or deny them.

Call the Cassies to bust this repeated rumor of a romance between DBSK's Yunho and labelmate Gaeun from Starkiss, the caption under their photos read. The pair was reported in previous years for allegedly wearing couple items which were later revealed to be from company sponsors, and that's the case again with this latest rumor-- do your research, tipsters! The jacket is from a company DBSK endorsed, and C&M artists from Starkiss to rookies B.P.M have all worn products from them since. Rumor has it though that Gaeun does have a lover she's getting serious about, but there's nothing we have so far to indicate that person is Yunho. Breathe easy, Cassiopeia!

“Seriously, are they desperate?” Jaejoong wondered out loud. “All our fans knew about those ads, so why would anyone think...?”

He shook his head. Those kinds of rumors didn't matter. Their Cassiopeia didn't believe them so they weren't badgering Gaeun or Starkiss, and if people outside of their fandoms were suspicious, all it did was shift dangerous attention off of Yunho and Jaejoong. It wasn't as if anything would ever come out implicating either Gaeun or Yunho. If anything did happen, the press would uncover Gaeun's real boyfriend, but she was already at the point where she was ready for that to happen. No harm would be done.

But if his parents see this... they'll get their hopes up all over again about Yunho and Gaeun. And the more that happens, the more disappointed they'll be when they know... if they know...

He wrinkled the paper up and threw it in the trash. Silly rumors, he thought to himself, smiling. Sorry, Gaeun noona, but I'm not accepting you as a rival. He's not allowed to have anyone else but me.

Step one- put your hand on my heart
Step two- softly lock eyes with me
Step three- close your ears for a moment and feel the truth
They are just sounds of jealousy
Besides you, no one can come and open my heart