LUVHOLIC

The label rented out the same karaoke bar DBSK had used for their post-debut celebration a few years ago, but this time Starkiss had a conflicting schedule and weren't able to go, so it fell to DBSK to give all the encouraging speeches to the new debuts. Yunho did the majority of the talking while the others perused the menu for long-winded orders loaded with every meat available from the list. The members of B.P.M were still wound up and excited from their stage, but they still managed to muster more enthusiasm for their meal when it arrived, though only the three older members were allowed to get drinks.

“I can't believe we already had fans,” Haejin said, bouncing up and down in his seat. “I bet it's because our sunbaes are so popular, but it'll still give us an opening to prove ourselves to everyone. I want to see even more lime lightsticks next time!”

“Reality shows for idols are getting really popular,” Junsu pointed out in between bites. “I bet you five could get your own soon.”

“Shouldn't they ask you instead?”

“Nah, let the young blood do it. We're on so many varieties that I think the fans know almost all there is to know about us, anyways. I still get yelled at by them if I change my favorite food from something it was before.”

“And then there's Jaejoong who's made up so many stories about his first kiss that he can't keep them straight, and fans look forward to hearing the new one,” Yoochun said drily.

“I liked the one where he kissed the ice cream of a classmate's lips because he was hungry,” Jongwoo said.

Jaejoong smiled sheepishly. All of his kiss stories were adapted from real kisses with Yunho, which he tamed down to make them sound more appropriate for a grade schooler. The fans had gotten mad at him for lying at first, but now they simply thought it was funny, which took the burden of actually remembering his original story for the time being.

“We're going to be here for awhile, Chansikkie,” Shinwon said, poking the empty shot glass of soju which he was refilling. “No one wants to take care of you when you get drunk.”

“Shut up. I'm in a good mood and want to celebrate.”

“Will celebrating involve you getting all weepy on my shoulder like last time?”

“Shut up.” He ruffled Shinwon's hair roughly, but still somewhat affectionately. Shinwon grinned and obliged him by shutting up for the time being. The other three members just stared at them blankly.

“I can't tell if they hate each other or not,” Jongwoo muttered. “As the person who is supposed to be leading them, I should probably figure it out.”

“They're like me and Changmin,” Junsu said, pinching Changmin's cheeks. “It's definitely love.” Changmin ignored him and continued eating at his enthusiastic pace.

“Anyways, I'm just glad there's no real fighting anymore. I get anxious about Hyunsoo nim making me leader when there's two older members in the group.”

“Don't worry, hyung,” Chaozhi said. “You have the oldest mental age in the group. The older hyungs both have their heads in the cloud.”

“The two older hyungs can also hear everything you're saying right now,” Shinwon said in a sing-song voice. “You're lucky you're so cute, Chao Chao, or else I wouldn't let you get away with mocking my faultless maturity.”

“Hyung, Haejin's the maknae and even he acts older than you.”

“Why, you little-” Shinwon was just about to reach over and grab Chaozhi in a headlock when they were interrupted by more guests coming in. Jongwoo's siblings and Haejin's older sister, who Jaejoong remembered seeing backstage at the music station, had come with flowers for their brothers, and homemade cake for everyone at the party. To Jaejoong's surprise, Shinwon's friend Hyungchul had also come in, brushing snowflakes from his model-esque hair.

“Still good looking,” Jaejoong murmured appreciatively.

Yunho elbowed him the ribs. “Seriously? I'm sitting right here.”

Chansik also looked less than thrilled when Shinwon got up to greet him, but for once he didn't say anything, but simply downed his shot glass and slammed it back down. “Hyungchullie?” Shinwon asked, lifting an eyebrow in surprise. “Did I issue you an invitation, or are you crashing?”

“Crashing.” He hugged Shinwon warmly. “I missed your stage for an audition, so I thought I should at least support you by coming to this.”

“What a great friend,” Chansik said in a surly voice. He tried to grab for the bottle of soju on the table, but Jaejoong snatched it away before he could.

Jongwoo groaned. “Not this guy again, they always argue about this guy,” he muttered to Jaejoong.

Shinwon seemed to be anxious about it, too, so he lead Hyungchul to the opposite side of the table from Chansik and quietly offered him some of their leftover food. As if to distract him from the situation, Jongwoo quickly the cake in front of Chansik and asked him to help with cutting it.

“Always butting in where he's not wanted,” Chansik muttered angrily under his breath as he vigorously stabbed the cake. “If he's not even going to bother to show up to the debut stage, they should just break up. Who needs someone like that?”

“Break up?” Haejin echoed.

“Don't listen to him,” Jaejoong lied. “He's just rambling because he's drunk.”

“I know hyung is a lightweight, but that was fast,” Chaozhi said, impressed.

“Soju will do that to you. When you're of age, keep that in mind.”

Jongwoo's sister passed out the cake, and the mood lightened for a moment as his younger siblings talked about how much fun they'd had in the audience learning fanchants and having their ears blasted out by the shriller screams. Even Chansik cracked a smile when Haejin's older sister did a perfect dance cover of their debut song, complete with Jongwoo's complex B-Boy steps.

“Anyone want another piece of cake?” Jongwoo's sister asked. “We've got about three pieces left.”

Changmin immediately raised his hand, as did Shinwon. “I need to fill out those tight-pants stage outfits a little bit better,” he joked.

“Yah, stop pretending like you'll ever gain weight,” Hyungchul said, lightly hitting him on the arm. “You've been a stick ever since I've met you. You should apologize to everyone here who will need to work off the cake they just ate.”

“Shouldn't I bulk up in case we ever have shirtless scenes? Jongwoo ah has very nice abs.”

“Someone like you would just look silly with abs.” He pinched Shinwon's slim waist. “Just resign yourself to a life on tininess.”

“Yah, if he wants to eat the stupid cake, let him eat it,” Chansik snapped. “No one cares if he gains no pounds or twenty. He'd be fine either way.”

Hyungchul glared back at him. “I haven't said this until now, but if you're in the same group as Shinwon, shouldn't you stop getting crabby over every little thing? If you're going to keep bullying him, you should just drop out. He's twice as talented as you are.”

“Hyungchul ah, I've told you it's not like that,” Shinwon said sharply.

“Oh? And do you want to hear everything I haven't said up until now?” Chansik rose to his feet, grinding his hands into the table. “I don't care if you're dati-”

Jaejoong clamped his hand over Chansik's mouth and gently jerked him back. “Really, now. I apologize, Hyungchul ssi, but Chansik ah is drunk right now. He's a really good kid and Shinwon ah likes him a lot, so please try to be understanding.” He dropped his hand just a little. “Chansik ah, let's go to one of the karaoke rooms and calm down a little bit, okay?”

“I'll come, too,” Yunho said.

“And me,” Jongwoo offered. Together, the three of them steered Chansik safely to the bar's second floor before he could say anything else to Hyungchul.

“What are you thinking, causing trouble for the guest of one of our members?” Jongwoo scolded. “I know you don't like Hyungchul hyung, but if you want to stay friends with Shinwon ah, you should stop being such an .”

“That other guy is the , not me. Even if Shinwon ah likes him better... he doesn't need to rub it in!”

Jongwoo blinked. “You're trying to tell me you're getting pissy because Shinwon ah has another best friend?”

“It's complicated,” Jaejoong said quickly. “But he's right, Chansik ah. Even if you lose your temper, you shouldn't do something that would hurt Shinwon ah.”

“I wasn't,” Chansik said softly. “That Hyungchul guy was the one who was wrong. Teasing Shinwon about his weight... he doesn't know how hard he works trying to put on more muscle and get physically stronger. Shinwon ah hates being that skinny... that's why I said he would be fine either way. If he can put on that extra weight, that would make him happier. But he looks good even he doesn't, so he should know that and not be too hard on himself.”

“So that's what you meant,” Jongwoo said, looking surprised. “Seriously, if you've been thinking so much, you should be clear. I really thought you didn't get along with Shinwon ah at all.”

“Maybe I shouldn't,” Chansik said, sourly this time. “I don't think I can be his friend anymore when they're like that together... when I feel like this.”

“Eh?” Jongwoo asked. Yunho and Jaejoong exchanged glances and sighed.

“Put it out of your mind for now,” Yunho said, rubbing his shoulder. “This is supposed to be a night about the five of you. But when you feel the time is right, you need to say something. You'll make it difficult on yourself if you're in a group together and you never say anything.”

“I've already made it difficult on myself,” Chansik said miserably. “But thanks, hyung. I'm sorry that I used to hate you. You're a good person.”

Yunho winced. “You know, I wasn't telling you to be honest with me.”

“Since we're in here, want to do karaoke?” Jongwoo asked, picking up the microphone. “I feel like we've all got a little bit of excess energy here.”

“Sure, you start.”

Jongwoo scrolled through the channel and settled on a Jay Park song, which soon flooded the room's speakers. Chansik took a deep breath and shook his head as if he was trying to empty it, making the effort to listen calmly and put everything behind him. But when it seemed like he'd finally gotten his emotions in check, Shinwon walked into the room halfway through Jongwoo's song. Chansik's face instantly tensed again, even though Shinwon had left Hyungchul behind and come alone.

He sat down on the couch next to Chansik and looked him earnestly. “Better now?”

“Don't be sarcastic with me,” Chansik muttered.

“I'm not. Really, I know you were in a good mood tonight. I'm sorry that got brought down. You should probably know better than to bother Hyungchul by now, but he should know better than to do the same to you. I like that stubborn side to you both. But I like it more on you, so I told him not to do it again. And if he doesn't, you won't have to fight either, right?”

“He should just leave you alone altogether.”

“Believe it or not, but I actually like having friends.”

"Do you really need that kind of friend? Beside... he's..."

"Hyungchul's as kind a person as all my other friends. You just can't see that because you've decided to hate him. Just like he can't see it about you."

“You always used to spend all your time with just me. Am I not good enough as your friend now because you have that guy who's not just a friend for you?”

“You're the one who's not my friend,” Shinwon said softly.

“What?” Chansik yelled over the loud music. “What are you saying?”

Shinwon placed his hand over Chansik's and waited for Jay Park's voice to fall silent over the speakers. Then he looked Chansik square in the eye. “Chansikkie was the one I didn't think of as my friend,” he said firmly. “I never did.”

Jongwoo whirled around, probably thinking they were about ready to get into a fight that moment, but Chansik didn't say anything immediately. Jaejoong and Yunho held their breath, waiting for the moment to progress one way or the other, all the while feeling as if they were intruding on something they shouldn't have been witnessing.

The door opened, and Hyungchul poked his head in, oblivious to the shifting atmosphere. “Shinwon, I'm heading out again, so come see me off.”

Shinwon clenched his fists, his face falling for a moment, but he recovered quickly and stood up. “All right. I'll just be a moment.”

Hyungchul grabbed his wrist and began to pull him out the door, but in an instant, Chansik's arm shot out and quickly grabbed Shinwon's other wrist. He stood up from the couch, his body trembling lightly. “Do you mean what you said?” he asked.

Shinwon turned his head slightly. “What, do you need me to spell out everything? It's getting tiring.”

“You're not allowed to get tired of me. Not after you started this.” He lifted up Shinwon's arm, grasping onto to it tighter.

“No, don't fight,” Jongwoo groaned. Yunho also tensed, looking ready to get to his feet and intervene at any moment, but before either of them could do anything at all, Chansik had yanked Shinwon out of Hyungchul's grip and leaned down to kiss him right there in front of everyone.

No one gasped or reacted, but simply stared, even Hyungchul and Jongwoo who both didn't have any idea of what had been going on between the two of them. From what they could see of Shinwon, he looked fairly surprised himself, his eyes opened wide and his arms hovering awkwardly as if he wasn't quite sure what was happening. But as soon as he did get a grip on the fact that he was being kissed by the person he had hopelessly loved for years, his hands grabbed to hold onto Chansik's arms and pull himself upwards so they were at a better position for their different heights. They both held the kiss for awhile, until Jongwoo's leaderly instincts finally kicked in and he walked up to try and separate them. Before he could, Shinwon slowly broke away.

“Took you long enough. Idiot.”

“You were the one fooling around on me.”

“Right. Tell yourself that if it makes you happy.”

Chansik looked over Shinwon's shoulder at Hyungchul. “Sorry, but you'll have to back off from now on.”

Hyungchul stared at them for a minute and then burst out laughing. “I get it now. God, how was I supposed to get that you two liked each other from how you were acting? And to clear things up, I'm not into Shinwon like that. If I had to pick anyone here, it would be Jaejoong-ssi for sure.”

“Also off limits,” Yunho said, cracking his knuckles.

“Anyways, I see why Chansik ah has been snarling over me all this time. Could have just said as much. If that's the case, I'll leave you two to it.” He waved and walked back out the door, shutting it behind him.

“I can't believe you actually thought I liked him,” Shinwon said resentfully. “Who have I been with for these past few years even though they've been a grumpy snot for the majority of them? Not to mention that you were the one who always had someone else you liked, not me. I'm the one who should be mad.”

“That was ages ago.”

“...it was last year...”

“Well, I figured out I like you now, so if you feel the same way, let's go out.”

Shinwon blinked, then started giggling sweetly. “I've said this before, but I like that idiotic, straightforward part of you the best. Of course we'll be going out. We'll be thoroughly going out to put any ideas of me fooling around out of your mind.”

“Yah...” Jongwoo butted it, scratching his head. “I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do about this. Did you need to drop this on me on my first day on the job?”

“Sorry, Jongwoo ah, but it's been a long time coming.” Shinwon trailed off. “Oh, and obviously we'd prefer you not to say anything about this to anyone else, all right?”

“Obviously...” Jongwoo still looked overwhelmed, so much so that Jaejoong felt a little bit sorry for him.

“Actually, there's someone here incredibly equipped to help you with 'what you're supposed to do about this',” Yunho said, raising his hand. “Why don't we go to one of the other rooms and chat for a bit?”

“All right.” He still looked a little dazed, but once the shock wore off, Jaejoong assumed he would be able to handle it just fine. It probably wasn't anything he was used to, but he was fair minded, and even though he was younger than both Shinwon and Chansik, he'd always been almost like a hyung to them from the very beginning.

Jaejoong turned to the two of them. “Well, I'm glad you've finally gotten that sorted out. It was a pain enough for me to take months to resolve things with Yunho back in the day, so I can't image taking years.”

He didn't think Chansik heard him, since he was looking single-mindedly down at Shinwon, but Shinwon turned to smile, brushing his caramel hair from his eyes. “Trust me, that time will be made up for.”

“Just don't do anything I wouldn't do,” Jaejoong said, reaching for the door knob. Clearly, they wanted to be left alone, and he was sure the other members back in the bar were wondering what was going on.

“Well, you've done plenty of things, haven't you, hyung?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jaejoong grinned and nodded. “Plenty and then some.”

“It's fine, then. Just shut the door behind you.”

0o0

“That whole thing made me feel a bit nostalgic,” Yunho said to him when they were back at their new dorm. The two of them weren't supposed to be rooming together-- Yongsoo had assigned Yoochun and Yunho together again, and Jaejong with Junsu-- but Yoochun had offered to trade places with him whenever they could get away with it, which was more often then not since Yongsoo was quicker to fall asleep than anyone. Jaejoong doubted they would be doing much more than kissing or holding on to each other most of the time given the strictness of their schedules and how much they needed to be in good condition for them, but Jaejoong didn't really mind. Just being close to him was enough, for the most part. There would definitely be times when they would want each other more and would have to be careful, but they'd cross that bridge when they reached it.

“Nostalgic?” Jaejoong asked, snuggling closer to him under the covers.

“Of when we first got together. Was it... that intense?”

“That's how I remember it,” Jaejoong said, smiling. “Seriously, my heart was pounding out my chest when it happened. Wasn't yours?”

He laughed. “Maybe. A little. A lot. But I just wanted to be with you. I guess that's what happens when you reach that kind of breaking point. You're just so ready for it to happen that a kind of fearlessness takes over and pushes everything away.” He Jaejoong's hair. “I'm so happy it did, though.”

“Me too.”

“Still, perhaps it was good that we didn't reach that point in front of everyone.”

“Did you talk it out with Jongwoo ah?”

“He's stressed about it, but he'll be fine, I'm sure. With us, we at least knew we were going into our group with that kind of secret. He had no clue. He'll have to go through everything that will go wrong if they're not careful, and will learn just how careful they'll have to be. But at the same time, if Shinwon's involved, it'll be the easiest thing to pass off as fanservice. He looks like someone who's been flirting since he was two.”

“I'm sure they can do hidden in plain sight better than we have.”

Yunho fell silent. “Jae?”

“Mmm?”

“What would you do if we were caught?”

“By who?”

“By people who shouldn't know.”

He thought about it for a moment. “Would you hate me if I said that I would deny it to them at any costs, if I could? People who don't deserve to know, shouldn't know. And more than just protecting you, I'd want to protect DBSK and Changmin and Junsu and Yoochun, too. So I guess I'd have to lie, wouldn't I? Until the world becomes a different place. But in either case, I can't stop being close to you anymore.”

“That's how I feel, too. I know some people can guess about us, but I don't want to stop being close either. So if I ever have to lie for any reason, you'll believe in the real truth, right?” He pressed their ringed fingers together and kissed them. “You'll know that there's no one else I can love but you.”

“That goes both ways, you know.”

“Good. If people still have ideas because of what Dami said...” He looked into Jaejoong's eyes. “I left destroying her up to you, because you had suffered the most. But if her words continue to hurt you, I'll be the one putting an end to them this time. No one is going to take away your happiness anymore.”

“Yunho...” Jaejoong smiled up at him. “I really think this is much too big for anyone to take away from me.”

“Nice to hear, because they'll certainly try.” He grabbed Jaejoong and pinned him down. “Let's see, you've had Minhee, Chansik, and now that Hyungchul guy with greedy thoughts of you. What do I have to do so that I'm the only one who looks at you properly?”

“Buy blindfolds and hand them out to all the Cassies who love me most?” He laughed. “Why does it matter if anyone looks at me, if I'm only looking at you? Isn't that what you told me when I was upset over Dami?”

“Because I have greedy, hypocritical thoughts, too?”

“Hmm.” He tapped Yunho's chin. “I was just thinking, a certain couple is going to be having a very enjoyable night, most likely. I'm jealous.”

“I'm not being enjoyable?”

“You are...” Jaejoong slid his fingers up to Yunho's lips. “But not enough.”

“Well, I'll just have to be better, won't I?”

that guy’s Luv, Luv, Lu-uv
I can’t help do anything about myself either
that guy’s Luv, Luv, Lu-uv
I continue to drink up
if you ask me not to do it, I’ll do more
I can’t give up. I luv you now