“Come on babe, let’s go back to the dance floor.” The skinny, beautiful girl beside me continued to grab and pull me but I was still stuck in my place as I watched my bestfriend and ex bestfriend walk away. I was pissed off. No, I was more than pissed. ‘What the is she doing here anyway? And why the was she getting drunk?! GAHHH!!’ this is gonna drive me insane!!

“I’m heading home Kiko. Thanks for the evening.” I said flatly as I shrugged her hand off my arm. She was saying something but that didn’t matter anymore because within 10 big steps, I was out of there. Kiko and I had a complicated relationship. We weren’t lovers or anything. We broke up long ago but we still stayed as ‘close friends’ or more like friends with benefits. For me, it’s just that. We have and that’s that.

I said I wanna get drunk tonight but here I am tailing my bestfriend’s car. I saw Soohyuk outside the club when I decided to leave and I didn’t know what took over me but I borrowed his car and next thing I know I’m here, looking like a saesang fan following an idol. I’m surprised that they haven’t noticed me since I’m not really keeping a low profile while following them and Soohyuk’s car is kinda hard to miss. ‘What the heck are they doing there that they aren’t noticing me?!’

I was caught up with my thoughts when I saw them pull over at the side of the road. ‘What the ?’ I stopped my car at a safe distance from them. I just kept looking at the car expecting one or the two of them to come out. ‘Huh, maybe they finally saw me.’ I thought. I waited for them to come out and approach me but they didn’t. Time was passing and nothing happened. 

‘What are they doing there?’ thoughts ran in my head and I didn’t like what my dirty, tipsy, ed up mind was thinking. ‘NO. That’s not what they’re doing.’ I convinced myself. I was having an internal battle. I wanted to see what was happening. ‘Why did they stop?’ my curiosity was killing me. ’Ugh!’ I hit the dashboard. ‘! Sorry Hyuk’. I scratched his car with my rings. ‘Damn it. Can this day get any worse?!’

I was about to go to them because I couldn’t take it anymore but then their car started again and continued its way to her apartment. I also started the car and followed them again. We reached her apartment and I saw her get out of his car. She looked… pale. I turned off the engine and was about to open the car door, I would go and talk to her whether she liked it or not but when I saw Youngbae get out of the car too, I stopped.

I looked intensely at them. ‘What the hell’s happening?’

Then I saw it. He hugged her.

I was frozen. ‘What the ?’ there were so many emotions I was feeling right now. Hurt. Shock. Anger. Blood was rushing through my veins and I could hear it pump in my temple. I was feeling dizzy. I think the alcohol is catching up on me.

Then he kissed her. He KISSED HER! On the forehead, but still! It was a kiss!! My emotions intensified. But anger was rising more than the others and another feeling I couldn’t quite distinguish. ‘What the hell is this? Are they together?!’ I couldn’t look anymore. I tightened my hold on the wheel and I started the car again and drove off. I didn’t know where I was going but anywhere away from here is fine with me. I had to think straight. I was too mad. I didn’t even know who I was mad at. Youngbae? Chaerin? Myself? I honestly didn’t know but I knew why I was mad. I was mad because I should be the one in Youngbae’s place. I should be the one to comfort her. Should be the one to hug her. To kiss her.

I should be that ONE… but I WAS that guy. WAS. Memories ran through me like a movie and I couldn’t help but think back to that time when I was that guy.

Flashback

“It’s okay Chae, come on, stop crying.” Jiyong said as he gently patted her back giving her comfort and support.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying op-pa. I’m so-orry.” Chaerin barely said as she was now sobbing hard.

She didn’t want to cry because of this. She didn’t want to be affected but she was. She’s only human. She gets hurt too. She just checked the internet a while ago and accidentally went to a website where people comment on idols and she saw her group’s name there. She didn’t want to read it at first but curiosity got the best of her so she checked it out.

The first ones were good comments saying that their group was good and stuff like that. But as she continued to read, there were people bashing them already. They were saying a lot of mean stuff like how her Dara unnie isn’t even talented, how she and Minzy are ugly, how her Bom unnie can’t even sing that well. There were a lot of bad stuff and she didn’t notice that she was tearing up when suddenly Jiyong switched the computer off and turned her chair around to look at her.

“Chae, don’t believe all that they say. They don’t know what they’re talking about.” He said as he looked at her with a face full of worry. He saw her tears and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all.

“But op-pa, maybe they’re rig-ht ma-aybe we are lacking a lot and—“

“Stop Chae, just stop. Stop thinking about the bad stuff you just read right now. Those people are just jealous because you are living your dream and they’re just facing their computers, writing bad things about other people. Don’t let this get to you. You know you’re better than that. I know you are.” He said as he cupped her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs.

“You’re beautiful Chae, don’t you even think otherwise. Just know you’re beautiful. Inside and out Chae, inside and out.” He continued to whisper to her as he hugged her shaking body.

After a few minutes, she had calmed down so he pulled back, separating their bodies. Then he saw a smiling Chaerin.

“What?” he said with a confused face.

“So, you think I’m beautiful oppa?” she said in her very cute aegyo voice combined with batting her eyelashes as she raised her eyebrows now looking at him playfully.

‘She is so damn cute’ he thought.

“Yah yah yah! Don’t make me take back what I said.” he said as he was now walking away from her to sit on the couch.

“So, oppa you were just lying to me, telling me I’m beautiful so that I’ll stop crying?” she asked a bit disappointed.

He didn’t miss the tone of her voice but he wanted to play with her more.

“Maybe.” He said nonchalantly when in reality he wanted so say that all he said were true and she was really beautiful.

“Yah oppa!!!” she said smacking his arm strongly while pouting.

“Ooo-uch! Okay okay, I’m just playing! Of course I meant what I said, my beautiful dongsaeng!” he mentally slapped himself as he said ‘dongsaeng’ because who was he kidding, everyone knew that he liked her more than that, everyone but her.

She didn’t say anything more so he thought she was mad so he said “Come on, I’ll treat you ice cream, let’s go.”

Her eyes sparkled as he said ‘ice cream’ and he couldn’t help but smile. ‘This girl really, simple things like this can already make her happy. Maybe that’s why I like her’ he thought.

“Yaaaay! Okay oppa! Whoo. You’re the bessssttt!” she said happily, leading the way to their favourite ice cream shop.

To think that that happened four years ago already sent another prick at my heart. That long. Four ing years ago.

‘Since then, I could already count how many good times I had with her.’

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