“What the hell oppa! You scared me.” Chaerin said, still trying to regain her composure.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I just needed to talk to you in private.”

“Yeah, me too, Youngbae oppa. I need to ask you something. Where—“ She was cut off by him.

“Me first” Youngbae said seriously. He has to know now. The curiosity is killing him. Even though he kind of already had a guess, he still wanted to hear it from her to be 100% sure.

“O-okay” Chaerin was surprised with his tone.

“So, I’m guessing you already told Ji why you’re like that to him right?” He asked.

“Yes-s”

“Uhuh. But I’m pretty sure what you told me in the car was not the whole story. I mean, I think that there’s something else that you didn’t tell me.”

“How did you know oppa? Did Jiyong tell you?” Chaerin asked softly.

“I hope he did. But he didn’t. Two days ago, I saw him walk out your practice room with tears swimming in his eyes, clenched fist and a very angry face. He didn’t even notice me when I called him. He walked passed me, looking like a ghost. Then I peeked inside the room and saw you crying. I was confused as . I wanted to ask you what happened but it looked like you were in no shape to talk that time. Same with Ji. So now, I’m asking you. What the hell happened Chae? Tell me everything.”

Chaerin just stood there. She was thinking about telling him that whole truth.

“O-okay oppa.” She breathed heavily before continuing. “Two days ago, I told him about what I told you in the car. But there was more to it than what I told you. After I heard him say that he regretted what we did, I gathered myself together and promised to be stronger. So I became more independent. I didn’t ask for help until I absolutely had to. Then, one day, I-I f-found out that I was p-pregnant.” She breathed in deeply and continued, “when I found out I was going to be a mother, I had mixed feelings. I was happy that my dream of becoming a mother is going to happen but as I thought more about it, I became unsure, scared, sad. To the point that I didn’t know what to do. I felt scared because I was going to raise a child by myself without a father because I was sure Jiyong didn’t want it because it sure as hell seemed like he didn’t even want me.” She was tearing up now. “When I really felt helpless already, I told Dara unnie. She was shocked at first but she didn’t ask me questions. She just helped me. She really helped me a lot. She went with me to my check-ups, bought me healthy foods and made sure that I was always comfortable.” Chaerin smiled slightly as she remembered how her Dara unnie always nagged her to eat healthy because she wasn’t just feeding herself anymore. She really appreciated everything her unnie had done for her.

“She was with me even until my b-baby l-left.” This brought back the tears in her eyes. She was controlling her tears. She didn’t want to have a breakdown.

All the while, Youngbae was listening to everything she said. He wanted to cry too but of course he didn’t. He really felt bad that he didn’t know all this, what more for Jiyong, right? He thought that Chaerin is really a strong girl. She went through all those when she was barely an adult and she only had Dara noona on her side.

“Chae, what happened? I mean, you know, what happened to… to the b-baby?” Youngbae barely asked since he wasn’t sure if he could ask such question.

Chaerin looked at him with sad eyes and that pained him. Seeing that expression of hers really tugged his heart. This was the saddest he has seen her.

Chaerin was really hurting now. This would only be the second time that she would tell the story to anyone. The first would be to her Dara unnie. But before she could even start to tell her story, Youngbae spoke.

“Wait Chae, I think that you should be telling this to Jiyong and not me.” He breathed before continuing. “He’s at his parent’s house. He’s not doing well Chae. His parents called me and asked me if there were any problems since Jiyong didn’t talk to them and he barely ate. I think you should go to him Chae.” Youngbae spoke slowly. He was really worried for his best friend now. He must be feeling like .

“But… but oppa, I’m scared.” Chaerin said. This was the first time in a while that she even admitted feeling like that. She always put up a strong front that’s why nobody would even think that something like this happened to her.

“I know Chae, but don’t you think that Jiyong is scared too? I mean, he just found out that he was supposed to be a father. He must be angry with himself or something. But I know he’s hurting right now. Both of you are. So I think you should go to him.” Youngbae said as he held on to her arms to somewhat give comfort, cause that’s all he could give her right now.

.......

Chaerin’s POV

It has been a couple of hours already since my talk with Youngbae and I’m now on my way to Jiyong’s family house. Youngbae offered to drive for me but I wanted some time alone before facing him. I have to gather myself together. It feels like the tables have been turned now. Before, it was Jiyong who was looking for me and now it was me that is going to him. I didn’t imagine that something like this would happen.

As minutes pass, I was also getting closer and closer to his house already and I feel so nervous. ‘Maybe he already left. Maybe no one would even be at their home.’ I keep on saying to myself. I was actually just thinking of excuses not to go there but I know that we had to talk about this.

I parked the car about two houses down and decided to walk to his house. I didn’t want any unnecessary scandal to break out. There might be fan girls lurking around his house, so I didn’t want to risk creating a buzz. It was a good thing it was already dark and I was wearing a hoodie so it was easier to hide my face. I was just a few seconds from his house now and my heart was pounding so fast and hard.

I stopped for a second to calm myself down. I’m so nervous.  I walked up the stairs. I was now standing in front of their door.

I was about to knock when…

“What are you doing here?” a very familiar voice asked. I was startled of course. I looked to the right and saw him sitting on a chair. The light on the porch wasn’t so I didn’t see that someone was there when I arrived a while ago.

He didn’t even move. He was still sitting there, not even looking at me but looking straight ahead to the road. I didn’t know what to say ‘what was I doing there?’ I wasn’t sure too.

“Why are you here?” he coldly asked again as he took a puff at the cigarette he was holding. He was still not looking at me and I was still not moving from where I was.

We didn’t say anything for a while. I just watched him take another puff, and another and another, until the entire cigarette got used up. Then he moved to take another stick from the small box on the table in front of him. He put it on his lips and took the lighter. But before he could light it up, I took the cigarette from his mouth and broke it in two.

He looked up and even in the darkness, I couldn’t deny the handsomeness of Kwon Jiyong. He didn’t say anything. He just simply took another cigarette from the box again and tried to light it but I took it and broke it into two again. When he was going to try to get a cigarette for the third time, I held his arm.

“Please stop.” I said softly.

We stayed like that for a while until he gently pulled his arm away from me and stood up. We were still in the dark by this time.

“Why are you here, Chaerin?” he asked calmly but I could still hear a hint of anger? Or hurt? Or maybe even both in his voice.

“I came to see you. You didn’t come to the company for two days and didn’t contact anyone. They’re worried about you, even YG.” I said calmly.

“They huh? I guess you’re not included.” He said with a scoff.

“I’m worried too. I care about you.” I barely whispered but he still heard it.

“Right.” he said sarcastically. “Well, I guess you didn’t care enough to tell me about that earlier huh? I guess you didn’t care enough to think about what I would feel when you kept it from me. How could you keep something this big from me, Chaerin?!” he said with a raised voice.

All the while, I was looking down. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I just couldn’t. But even if I wasn’t looking at him, I knew he was hurting by the sound of his voice right now.

I couldn’t find the right words to say to him right now. Why didn’t I tell him? Because I was hurt deeply by his words. But now that I thought about it, that wasn’t really a good reason to keep such a secret for four years now. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how selfish I became. I only thought about my side. I didn’t consider what he would feel about it. I acted on the hurt I felt from his words and fuelled it up with all the scandals he was involved with. I never really gave him the chance to prove himself before. I thought before that it was the best choice to not let him know since he might not care and not want it anyway, but considering what was happening now, I thought wrong.

“I’m sorry.” That’s all I could say. I wanted so much to say more but sorry is all I can manage to say right now.

“Sorry huh? Your sorry wouldn’t change anything! It won’t turn back time!” he said, still with a raised voice.

I felt myself tearing up.

“I—“ I was supposed to say something but the light . I didn’t realize we were so close to each other now. We both turned our heads to look at the door and after a few seconds, it opened.

“Oh Chaerinnie? What’re you doing here? And why are you outside?” Jiyong’s mother said kindly as she walked out to the front porch.

I immediately bowed respectfully towards her “Good evening Mrs. Kwon. I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” I said shyly.

“Oh what are talking about, my dear. You didn’t disturb us. I just heard some people talking and I was curious about who Jiyongie is talking to. And didn’t I tell you to call me omma too or did you forget since you never come here anymore. We missed you here Chaerin, especially this boy over here.” Mrs. Kwon said as she pointed to Jiyong, who was with a blank face and not saying anything.

“Aigoo. Why are you two talking outside? And you’re even wearing a skirt Chaerin-ah. You must be cold. Jiyong, why didn’t you two go inside? Aigoo this kid really.” Omma said as she gently hit Jiyong’s arm.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Jiyong just said flatly, without looking at us and went ahead inside the house.

“Yah, what’s wrong with this kid, such a cold kid. Anyway, he’s been like that since he came here two days ago, so don’t take it seriously Chaerin.” Omma said and I just smiled sadly at her.

“Is there a problem, Chaerin?” she now asked me before we reached their living room, where I assumed Jiyong was.

“Huh? Omma… Uhm…” I can’t really tell her now but I can’t lie to her too. Ugh. What should I do?

When I took a long time to say something, she just gently squeezed my arm and said “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it with me but I hope that whatever is going on between you two would be fixed soon.” She smiled at me sweetly and I can’t help but miss my own mother.

We continued to walk to the living room and I saw Mr. Kwon. I bowed to him respectfully and politely greeted him.

“Oh Chaerin, it’s been a long time. Why haven’t you been visiting us?” Mr. Kwon said as he gave me a light hug. I just smiled slightly back at him.

“Oh uhm… sorry appa, we were busy with our schedules… heh” That’s all I could say.

“Oh yeah, you’re having your concerts now right? don’t tire yourself too much okay? Well, anyway, Jiyong went to his room if you were looking for him.” Appa said as he sat down on the sofa again and continued watching the show on the television.

I didn’t know what to do right now. Should I go to his room or should I just leave? But I think it’s impolite to just leave like this. I was still thinking about what I should do when I felt a nudge on my arm. I looked to my left and saw omma smiling. “Go. Go to his room. You need to talk right? Make him come back to his senses again.” She said as she slightly pushed me to the direction leading to his room.

I hesitantly walked towards what could possibly be a disaster zone but I have to do this. I’m already in front of his door and I was so ready to just run the opposite direction. I turned my head and saw omma still standing there with an encouraging smile on her face. I turned back to the door and breathed in deeply. 

Is it long enough? I hope so :) Anyway, I hope I didn't disappoint. Tell me what you think guys! :)  Drop some comments!

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