“Dara-yah, can you tell Chaerin to come in my office, I have something to tell her.” YG said to Dara when they met each other in the hallway of YG building.

“Yes, sajangnim. I’ll tell her immediately.” Dara said as she bowed and rushed away from there. She went inside one of the bathrooms and made sure no one was inside. She took her phone and dialled a number.

“Pick up, pick up, please…” she was saying to herself.

The number you have dialled is—

Dara ended the call as soon as she heard the annoying voice of the woman who has been answering all her phone calls to Chaerin since yesterday. Chaerin just said she was going somewhere and is gonna come back soon but she never did. Dara has been trying to contact her non-stop but still no luck. She didn’t tell anyone yet because she didn’t want Chaerin to get in trouble plus, she didn’t want the others to worry too.

She was now walking to the cafeteria, being extra careful that no one sees her especially the president because she wouldn’t know what to say next if someone looks for Chaerin again.

She was kind of side-walking with her back on the wall and her head turning left and right, trying to see if anyone was there until, BUMP.

“Owww” she said softly as she placed her hand on her head. She bumped into something or more like someone. She saw a smirking Youngbae when she opened her eyes.

“Yah, Youngbae-ah! Watch where you’re going!” She said in a whisper.

“Why are you whispering noona? Hiding from someone?” Youngbae teased with a smile on his face.

“Aniyo.” Dara said immediately and stood up properly and straightened her clothes.

“Really? Okay then, sajangnim was looking for you a while ago. I guess I’ll call him now and tell him you’re here.” Youngbae said as he fished is cell out of his jacket pocket.

“WAIT! Don’t!” Dara immediately protested as she tried to grab on Youngbae’s phone, which made him chuckle.

“Okay okay. I’m hiding from everyone, okay?” She said to him.

“Huh, why?”

“Well… because… uhh, don’t tell this to anybody okay. I don’t want Chaerin to get in trouble.”

And just the mention of her name piqued the interest of Youngbae.

“Why noona, what happened to Chaerin?” he said almost immediately which earned him a curious look from Dara.

“Well, I don’t know where she is and everybody’s looking for her. She said she’ll be back yesterday but she still isn’t. I tried contacting her but it’s no use. Do you know where she is?”

Youngbae absorbed everything said by Dara and put the puzzle together. Jiyong was nowhere to be found. Chaerin was nowhere to be found. One and one make two, right? It wasn’t that hard to piece that puzzle together.

“Noona, don’t worry. I’m sure she’s fine.” Youngbae said reassuringly to her.

“How do you know? Yah, do you know where she is? Has she contacted you?” Dara said.

“Just trust me on this noona, she’s okay. If she still hasn’t called you or hasn’t shown up by the end of the day, I’ll help you find her.” He said with his eye smile.

“Aigoo, Youngbae-ah. Use that eye smile to the young girls out there and not to this noona. Tsk, tsk.” She said and he just laughed.

We were standing side by side, feeling the soft wind as it brushed our faces. I can hear her breathing and I bet she can hear me too. I can feel her heartbeat going in-sync with mine.

In front of us were the words I saw before, the words that meant nothing to me before but meant so much to me right now.

'My baby, who never got to see the world, I love you’.

I spoke the words, meaning them with all my heart. And just like that, tears started flowing down my eyes. I didn’t know of her existence until a few days ago but it feels like a part of me died when I knew about her. It feels like a hole has been made in my being that can never be filled up.

My silent sniffs, then turned to sobs and now cries. I was crying and tearing up inside too. I didn’t know how else I would let go of all that I feel so I cried them out. Ever since Chaerin told me about her, I couldn’t stop thinking about the what ifs, what if I had known about her before, I would’ve been the happiest man alive. What if she was still here with us? What if I knew about it earlier, then I wouldn’t have lost her.

I am grieving the loss of my baby. I might’ve come late but I’m here now. I’m here, feeling the pain of loss, the regret of not knowing and the hurt of being too late.

I felt a soft, warm hand gently rub my back up and down, trying to console me. I looked to my left and saw Chaerin, tearing up too. I couldn’t stop myself anymore and I just hugged her. I hugged her tight and held her body as close to my body as possible. She placed her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her waist. I was crying on her shoulder as she was crying on mine. I continued to cry as she slowly and gently rubbed my back and softly whisper hushes to me.

After a while, I calmed down but I still held her close. Her warmth gives me comfort that I wouldn’t find anywhere else or with anybody else.

“I’m sorry Chae.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry oppa for not telling you and for blaming you for everything.” She whispered into my ear.

“No, Chae. I’m really sorry. I know a sorry won’t cut it. A sorry wouldn’t change anything but it’s a start. I’m really sorry. I know what you’ve been through. I heard it all last night when you told it to omma. I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.” I said in between sobs.

Flashback from last night (Jiyong’s POV)

“If you’re just going to cry there, then can you please leave? I can’t stay in the same place with you right now. You know your way out.” I said coldly towards her. I couldn’t see her crying right now. It broke my heart as I said those words because in reality, all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her everything’s all right, but it’s not.

I went to the veranda to cool off and let some steam out of my body but I thought of her and her face when I said those words. I knew I hurt her. I promised myself I wouldn’t but I just did. I’m stupid, I know. But I’m hurting too. I just need time right now to fully accept and absorb everything.

I went back to my room and was about to run after her to tell you to stay for the night because it was too late already and I remembered she was wearing that short skirt.

But then I heard people talking in the living room. I peeked and saw her and omma talking to each other. I wasn’t supposed to eavesdrop to what she was saying because I’m not that type of person but as soon as she told omma she had something important to say then she mentioned the baby, I was stuck in my spot. I didn’t move, or more like I couldn’t. She told her story and I listened to every word of it. I absorbed everything she said and felt the pain in everything she has been through. As I continued to listen to her story, I just wanted to punch myself. One, because of what I said to Kiko, two, because of not knowing she was pregnant with our baby and three, because of not being there for her when she needed me the most.

When she told the story on how our baby was taken from us, I lost it. I wanted to cry out loud but only silent gasps, sobs and cries left my lips.

‘How could she be taken from us just like that?’ Life is so unfair.

We didn’t even get to hold her, see her, and let her feel our love. She was just… gone.

I went back to my room because my knees were becoming too weak to hold me up and as soon as I closed my door, I came crashing to the ground. I guess my knees gave out. I cried like there’s no tomorrow. I cried my heart out. I might’ve looked ridiculous or crazy but I didn’t care. I was experiencing too much emotion to care.

Then I thought of her. The love of my life. The woman I would do anything for. The mother of my child.

If this pained me so much right now, then what about her? She might’ve felt ten or twenty times more pain than I do now. She experienced everything alone. She went through it without me. The day our child left must’ve been the worst day of her life. She must’ve felt scared and alone. And I blame myself for it.

If I could’ve just been there, the accident wouldn’t have happened because I would protect her with all of me. If I had just known, we would’ve been a family. We would be happy right now. We would be spending all our time with our daughter. We would be smiling right now instead of shedding these tears that seem to have no ending.

I barely slept, well, if you would even consider just closing the eyes as sleeping. I realized I wouldn’t get any sleep so when I looked at the clock and saw that it was past four and decided to get up and make breakfast.

When I heard someone come close to the kitchen, I stopped what I was doing. I waited for the person to enter but no one entered. So I decided to go out instead. When I opened the door, separating the kitchen from the dining area, I saw Chaerin standing there with her eyes closed, holding an umbrella. What was she doing?

She looked scared. Why?

Then I remembered her story last night and a twisting pain at the pit of my stomach settled in. But I decided not to bring up the topic yet since she didn’t know that I heard what happened. I treated her nicely. I knew she was confused but I was looking for the right time for us to figure everything out… together.

And now were here. We’ve both calmed down and now sitting beside each other, in front of our baby.

“Hi baby. It’s appa.” I smiled. It feels good calling myself a father.

“I’ve come to visit you. I’m sorry I’m late but I’m here now and from now on, I’ll always visit you. I l-love you. I love you so much. And I’m sorry too. I’m so sorry for not being there for you when you and your omma needed me. I’m so s-sorry.” It’s my first time to talk to her and it felt nice.

Chaerin didn’t say anything. She just listened. I looked at her and she was staring blankly ahead but I knew she was listening. We stayed there for another couple of hours and I used those hours to talk to my daughter. I talked and talked while Chaerin just listened. She would give responses once in a while but she didn’t really talk.

When we were about to leave, I stood up and fixed my clothes. My legs ached because we sat there for hours but only now did I notice because I had a good time telling stories to my daughter.

I was about to help Chaerin stand up but when I turned to her she was already standing. She bowed to our baby and whispered ‘I love you’, just like what she did the first time I found her here.

Before she could turn to me, I went to her side, held her hand and bowed down too. I felt that it was the right thing to do. And it did feel right. At that moment, being with her here with our baby felt right, so right.

“Thank you.”

“Huh? What for?”

“For taking me there.”

“There’s no need to thank me. I didn’t just take you there, I went there too and it’s the proper thing to do, so there’s no need for thank you’s. Besides, it’ll be a regular thing.” Jiyong said while driving, totally unaware that what he said sent little arrows of hope to Chaerin. Hope that their almost dying relationship could be revived.

“Ji… what does this mean? I mean, where do we go from here? What am I to you? How should we act? What should I do?” Chaerin said while playing with her fingers, unable to look at him.

Jiyong took a quick glance at her before returning his attention to the road. Even with that quick glance, he saw the uncertainty in her. Not just uncertainty though but also fear?

He held his hand out in front of her, inviting her to hold it. She stared at his hand and hesitated. Should she take it? She felt that taking his hand would mean a silent agreement between them. But was she ready for it? As she stared on, Jiyong felt nervous. He really wanted her to take his hand. He needed her to trust him. He wanted for them to start again. And this time, he would do it right.

As seconds ticked and she continued to stare on, Jiyong was getting more and more nervous. Then he felt a warm sensation on his hand. He looked at it and saw her hand which perfectly fit with his. A smile immediately was plastered on his face.

 “Oppa”

“Hmm?” he smiled.

“Your hands… are so… sweaty” she said with a chuckle, which made Jiyong laugh heartily and hold her hand tighter.

“Well, it’s your fault. You made me so nervous a while ago.”

He looked at her and she was looking back at him too with those mesmerizing eyes. He smiled and so did she. They were once again overcome by silence but this time, it felt nice. The silence was like a sign of trust between them. Trust that they were going to figure things out… together.

The ride continued with them being quiet and their hands still interlocked together.

Thank you for reading! I gave a long one because I didn't update sooner, sorry for that. Thank you again for commenting and subscribing. Tell me what you think :) Bless you all.