I was feeling frustrated. I really couldn’t work well like this. I only finished a song today. Just one. ‘Gosh!’

 

Everything was going against me right now. The world has me. I found no one useful. I was irritable. I got angry at the trainees for looking at me.

 

‘What the ?!’

 

I know I would get scolded soon but that was the least of my problems.

 

I still haven’t seen her. I miss her so much. Too much.

 

I looked at the calendar on the door and that cheered me up a bit. It was Wednesday. ‘Finally, something good.’ I said to myself. I looked at the clock and saw it was only quarter to nine. I went out of the studio and went straight to my car. I drove to that place. The place I found somewhat relieving. The place I took her before.

 

Fireworks. That’s what I decided to call the place.

 

I drove straight there. I wanted to feel relief again even for just a bit. I was near, maybe just 5 minutes away. I took the same route I always took and I passed by the nice-looking place that looked like a garden. It was only now that I noticed the beautiful flowers surrounding it. I slowed down to appreciate it more. Just when I was about to turn right I saw someone there. A lady. She was standing, looking down. She had blonde hair, just like Hunchae, I thought.

 

Even now, she evades my thoughts. I smile.

 

The lady turned her head a bit to the right and I saw her face completely. I immediately stepped on the brake.

 

 

 

Chaerin.

 

It was Chaerin.

 

I parked my car on the side of the road. My heart was beating so fast. I saw her. Finally. I rushed out of the car and went straight in the place. She was still a good 20 meters away from me. I looked around. I realized it wasn’t a garden.

 

It was a cemetery. I got confused. I walked faster towards her then I saw her bow down and whisper I love you. That caught my ear. I stopped walking towards her when I was just a few feet away.

 

She turned around and we were already face-to-face. Our eyes met and I saw her stiffen.

 

“Chae?”

 

She didn’t respond.

 

I saw she was only wearing a thin cardigan over her dress. She looked so innocent today. She didn’t even have any make-up on. This was the real Chaerin.

 

I walked towards her, removed my jacket and wrapped it around her body. She still didn’t move or even talked.

 

“What are you doing here?” she finally said.

 

“It’s Wednesday today. Fireworks.” I said as I smiled to her. She didn’t return the smile and didn’t even look at me.

 

Then I remembered her bowing and saying I love you a while ago. I looked at the ground. There was a writing there

 

“My baby, who never got to see the world, I love you.”

 

“Why are you here, Chae?” I asked, still confused.

 

“None of your business.” She said coldly as she walked away from me.

 

I followed her. We were now at the entrance of the garden, I mean cemetery.

 

“Who did you visit?” I asked again. Curiosity was building up.

 

She didn’t reply. She was walking in the other direction from my car. I didn’t know where that led to but I just followed her. It looked like she knew this place well.

 

“Stop following me.” She said without turning around.

 

“No. Chae, tell me what you were doing there and who that was.” I said with finality.

 

She stopped walking and turned around.

 

“Why?! Huh? Why should I tell you?! Who are you to me? Huh? And stop following me! Go and watch your stupid fireworks!” She screamed at me. I was shocked. That was probably the first time she yelled at me like that considering I’ve known her for almost 8 years already.

 

She took off my jacket and threw it on the ground then she walked or more like ran away. Away from me. It took me about 2 seconds more to react and now I was chasing her. I didn’t know where we were anymore.

 

“CHAE! Stop running!” I was yelling at her.

 

“Chae please!!!’” I was getting tired. ‘Damn smoking!’ I cursed myself.

 

Then I saw her turn left. When I reached that place, I realized that it was a lodge. I stopped and looked around. I didn’t know which way she went to. ‘Damn it!’

 

I went to the front desk and I saw the lady there was shocked to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was G-Dragon or because I looked like hell after all that running.

 

“Good evening, s-sir.” She said, gawking at me.

 

“Yeah… uhh... I was wondering… where is Chaerin’s room?” I just blurted out. I didn’t even think about what I said. I was breathing so hard right now.

 

The girl looked confused. “Huh?”

 

“Uhhh. I mean. What room is the girl wearing a peach dress in? She just entered a few moments ago.” I asked her, feeling hopeful she would tell me.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry sir. But we are not allowed to give such information. Are you related to her?” she asked me. ‘I think she doesn’t recognize me.’ I mean who would. I looked so bad right now that even if I said I was GD, people would probably think I was crazy.

 

“Yeah. Uhh… I’m her... her boyfriend.”I said.

 

“Ohhh. Sir, I think you should just call her so she would come and get you.” She smiled.

 

Ugh.

 

“Yeah. But… the thing is… I… I… left my phone so I can’t call her.” I smiled sweetly at her hoping she would give in.

 

She looked hesitant. Ugh. I need to do something and fast…

 

“I swear I’m not some creep or a stalker or whatever. I really just wanna be with my girlfriend. The thing is, we fought and now she won’t talk to me. So please, I’m begging you right now. Please tell me what her room is.” I said with all the sincerity I could muster.

 

Her expression softened.

 

“Okay… but please don’t tell anyone I told you.” She said worriedly.

 

“I promise.”

 

“Room 26” she whispered.

 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I told her. Thank God the receptionist was a girl. If it was a man, I’m pretty sure I would have never gotten her room number.

 

“Good luck!” she told me and I smiled to her.

 

I walked through the hallway looking at all the room numbers 23…24…25…

 

26

 

‘This is it.’

 

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door softly.

 

I waited for about a minute but it didn’t open. I knocked again, a little louder this time. Then I heard movement inside the room. My heart was beating so fast. ‘Calm down, calm down…’ I was telling myself. Then the door opened.

 

It revealed a freshly showered Chaerin in her robe. Her hair was still damp. I swallowed hard. I did not expect to see her like this. She looked as shocked as me. Even when her face was washed, it didn’t hide that she cried a lot. Her eyes were so puffy.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asked me coldly, showing no signs of letting me enter.

 

“I came to see you.”

 

“Please Ji. Just leave.”

 

“No!” I said automatically.

 

“What do you want?

 

“I wanna see you. I miss you so much.” I said coming closer to her but she backed away a little, still holding her door knob.

 

“You’ve seen me. Now, you can go.” She said as she was about to close the door.

 

“Wait Chae! Please!” I said desperately. I stuck my hand inside just in time. But she didn’t see so she still pushed the door hard.

 

“OUCH!” I screamed.

 

‘ that hurt!!!’

 

I pulled my hand out and looked at it. ‘Ouch’ the door hit my palm, near my fingers. ‘’

 

She opened the door again with a shocked face. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see!” She said immediately.

 

I guess my face still showed pain because her face showed guilt and worry. She pulled me inside and let me sit on the chair near the bed. The room was small. There was just a bed, a lamp, two chairs and between it a small table. I looked around and saw that there was also a small bathroom. I looked at Chaerin, she was looking for something in her bag. She threw all the contents of her bag in the bed and searched through the stuff. It looked like she found what she was looking for since her eyes lit up and she got off the bed and went to me.

 

“Here. Put this on your hand.” She said as she handed me what looked like an ointment.

 

I took it and looked at it first. Then tried to open it but of course, I need two hands to open it and one of my hands is dysfunctional right now so I’m having a hard time. I guess she saw because the next thing I knew is the ointment was with her and she placed some on her hand and took my hand.

 

We touched. I felt the electricity ran through my skin. I guess its true then. That you feel electrified with the touch of someone you love. I smiled. I was just looking at where we were touching. The palm of her hand was touching the backside of my hand and her other hand is busy spreading the ointment on my palm.

 

I didn’t know where I got the strength but when she was busy placing the ointment, I closed my hand and held hers.

 

I could tell she was surprised because she gasped a bit too loud. She looked up and we were eye-to-eye now.

 

“W-what’re you doing?” she asked.

 

“Chae, what were you doing in the cemetery earlier? Why were you crying? Who were you visiting?” I asked softly. I was really really curious about that.

 

She didn’t respond and just looked away. I held her hand tighter. It hurt but I could handle it.

 

“Chae, please…”

 

“You can go now.” She said abruptly as she pulled her hand away from me and I felt incomplete.

 

“No Chae, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Leave Jiyong. I don’t want you here.” She said as she went near the door ready to open it for me.

 

“NO. I won’t leave. Not when you haven’t given me any answer to my questions.”

 

She scoffed.

 

“You’re never getting anything from me again.” She said and that stung.

 

“Chae please tell me what the problem is so I can help you.” I was now walking towards her.

 

“You can’t help me.” She said flatly.

 

“I can. I’ll do anything Chae.”

 

“Just stop! Please just stop and leave.” She said as she went near her bed avoiding me.

 

“Chae, just give me a chance. Please! Tell me! Just tell me what I did wrong so I could fix it. Please!”

 

Her back was facing me and I could clearly see her shoulders moving up and down. Then I heard her crying.

 

“Just please, I can’t do this right now. Not t-today.” she said so sadly.

 

“I can do anything for you right now except leave. Please don’t ask me to leave.” I said softly. I was so close to her right now. I wanna hold her. Hug her.

 

And I did.

 

I wrapped my arms around her and I instantly felt her warmth.

 

She didn’t push me away but she kept crying. I wanted to comfort her. Do anything so she won’t cry anymore. But all I could offer her right now is my warmth and presence and I thank the Lord that she isn’t rejecting me right now because I think I wouldn’t be able to handle another rejection from her.

 

She continued to sob in my arms while I whispered words of comfort to her.

 

The next thing I knew was that we were already lying on the bed. With her in my arms, asleep. She cried for what seemed like forever and now she’s asleep. I brushed her cheek with my thumb. Her tear stains are clearly visible.

 

I was just watching her sleep. I wish I could hold her like this forever but I was sure that tomorrow was another struggle to break down the walls she built between us. I needed to find out what I did wrong. I had to make it right, but there was another thing in my list that I wanted to know. Who did she visit in the cemetery? Is that the reason why she took time off? I remember clearly what was written on the stone ‘My baby, who never got to see the world, I love you’

 

Who was that? Why was there no name written? Why was she crying so hard? I wanna know so much but I know it would take a lot of effort and time for her to tell me those. I’m not even sure if she ever will.

 

She was still sleeping so peacefully. She’s so beautiful. I was feeling tired to I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep within seconds.

 

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I stirred awake. I stretched my arm to touch the person beside me but there was none. I shot my eyes open and saw that there really was no one beside me. I looked around the small room and saw no one.

 

“Chaerin?” I said, my voice cracked. It was still early in the morning.

 

“Chae?” I said again, getting out of bed and going to the bathroom to check if she was there.

 

She wasn’t.

 

She left. Somehow that didn’t surprise me but I still felt sad. I fixed myself a bit, washed up and went out of the room. I went to the reception area to pay for the room and the same girl last night was there.

 

“Good morning sir.” She said, smiling brightly.

 

“Morning. How much was the room?”

 

“Oh, your girlfriend already paid when she left. She said to not disturb you since you were still sleeping.”

 

“What time did she leave?” I asked immediately.

 

“Oh, uhm… maybe about less than an hour ago.”

 

“Ah. Okay. Thanks then.”

 

“Okay. Have a good day sir!”

 

 

 

I parked my car in the parking lot of YG. I went straight there after I took a bath in my apartment.

 

I was determined to talk to her today. My curiosity from yesterday’s event was still there and was even stronger. I needed to know.

 

As soon as I entered the building, I wasted no time. I went straight to their practice room and sure enough she was there. It looked like they weren’t practicing yet since she was talking with Dony. I went in and caught the attention of most people in the room. They nodded at me and I returned it. I went straight to her.

 

“Can we talk?”

 

“We can’t. We’re practicing.”

 

“Yeah. I can clearly see that.” I said sarcastically.

 

She glared at me. “I’m discussing something important with Dony, so we still can’t talk.” She said as she returned to her conversation with Dony, totally ignoring my presence.

 

I guess Dony can sense the stares I’ve been giving him.

 

“Uhhh… yeah… so, let’s just talk about that later Chaerin-ah. I think Jiyong has something important to tell you. I’ll leave you guys alone.” Dony said. I nodded at him as he walked away while bowing slightly.

 

“We’re really gonna practice soon.” She said as she sighed.

 

“I only need a minute to ask you something.”

 

“What?” she asked coldly as if yesterday didn’t happen.

 

“Who did you visit yesterday?”

 

“It’s really none of your business so lay it off.” She looked away. She was clearly avoiding this topic.

 

“It’s my business now since I saw you cry your heart out yesterday. I was with you, remember?” I said a little too loud and she pulled my arm.

 

“Tone down, would you?!” she hissed.

 

“Why should I? It really did happen. I was really with you yesterday. We even spent the night together.” I raised my voice even more, gaining more attention from the others. She was silent. The room was silent actually.

 

 

The next thing I knew was that I was being pulled out of the room and we were now in the rooftop.

 

“What the hell Jiyong?! What the hell do you want?!”

 

“I want you to tell me! Tell me who you were visiting yesterday! Tell me why you were crying so damn hard!” I am so ing frustrated right now.

 

I waited for her answer but she was silent. I was looking at her but she was looking straight ahead. I can see she was teary eyed.

 

“You really wanna know?” she asked softly.

 

“Yes… please…”

 

“My baby.”