I'm Okay

Remembering Myself

"Are you okay?"

Zelo snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Junri. It was then he remembered they were just eating breakfast. "Yeah. Why?"

"Well you've been staring at your food." She pointed out. "Are you really okay? You've been like this since the party..."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

She hummed and went back to eating. "Are you doing anything today?"

"No. Why?"

"... Do you want to visit Dahee?"

He chocked on his juice. He looked at her to see if she was serious, and sure enough, she was. "Why?"

"Why not?" She fired back. "Come on. It's just a visit."

"Then go without me."

"Junhong." She sighed.

"You don't understand noona." Zelo sighed too. "I'm surprised you even remember her..."

"I've been remembering more and more each day." Junri stated. "It's like I didn't get amnesia at all. So let's go visit her. You have to learn how to let go-"

"It's not that easy!"

Junri stared at him in shock.

"I mean," Zelo cleared his throat. "I don't want to go, okay? Just go by yourself, if you want. It's just... give me time."

"Okay then." Junri nodded and left the dining table.

Zelo stood up also, and went to the living room.

*You didn't need to shout...* He told himself and lay himself on the couch. *Why am I so sensitive when it comes to Dahee anyway? I don't have feelings for her anymore. What I had was only a petty childhood crush, right?* He sank lower on the couch. *... Right?*

 

"I'm going. Are you sure you don't want to come?" Junri asked him. But judging from how he was sitting on the couch in his pajamas, that would be a no. "I can wait..." She mumbled.

"I'm sure." Zelo said. "Sorry about earlier."

"It's okay." Junri said. "But-"

"It's fine, noona. You can go." Zelo smiled at her. "Have a safe trip."

Junri nodded. "Thanks..." She opened her umbrella and walked to the car. *Does visiting her bother him that much...?* She asked. *I guess she was that special.* She told herself and watched as she was driven to the cemetery. *I wonder why Dahee was buried here in Korea anyway... She lives in China. Why here?*

"Are you sure you want to wait for me? I can take a cab home." Junri asked the driver. "I'll be fine."

"I'm afraid I can't allow that, Junri ssi. Your brother will be furious." The driver chuckled. "I will wait here."

"Okay then." Junri mumbled. "Thankyou." And closed the door behind her.

It was raining, so she was glad she brought her umbrella.

*It's down here, right?* She took a left. It was getting muddy, but she didn't mind. She anticipated rain so she wore boots and a coat. *Wait-where am I?*

"I never thought you'd visit."

She turned around and saw Henry staring at her.

"I-is it okay?" She asked.

"Of course." He smiled. "Follow me. You're going the wrong way." He said and led her. "Junhong didn't come with you?"

She sighed. "No. He... needs time, he said."

"I understand." Henry said. "Belated Happy Birthday, by the way. You sent me an invitation, but I was afraid I might ruin the event if I came." He chuckled.

"That's not true." Junri replied. "We would have loved for you to come."

"Maybe you," Henry glanced at her, "but not Junhong." He said. It was the first time Junri heard the sadness in his voice. "I understand that he doesn't want to see me, yet. So I won't show myself. How are you, by the way? Are you starting to remember?"

"I... I already remembered." Junri admitted. She bit the insides of her cheeks.

"From the way you said it, I taking it that Zelo doesn't know?" Henry stopped in front of the grave. "Well, here we are."

Junri stood beside him.

"I make sure the flowers are always fresh." Henry informed. "If I can't come to replace them, I send the caretaker here a message. I... I've been here a lot." He sighed.

"I can tell." Junri smiled at him. For a second, Henry saw how much she had matured over the time. "I just wanted to visit because... I miss her." She admitted. "I didn't know she was sick. But after what happened between us... I couldn't bare to go back to China and visit you guys. I didn't know at the time why Zelo refused to go too."

"Now you know." Henry said. "Aren't you mad at me? Or Dahee?"

She shook her head and her fingers tightened over the handle of her umbrella. "I can never be mad for too long... I was, at first. But it only lasted a few seconds." She chuckled, the light and cheery sound somewhat illuminating the atmosphere of the graveyard. "She just did what she thought was best. And I too, would have done the same if it happened..."

"To Yixing?" Henry suddenly said. "I mean, if it happened to you and Yixing?"

She nodded. "How did you know?"

"I guess I noticed the moment I first met them that day in back stage." He smiled, but he was staring at the grave of his past friend. "Even though I now know you didn't remember back then, but when you talked to him, there was this different tone of happiness in your voice... I guess even when you can't remember the times you had with him, you still remember the feelings you have." He explained.

"But... I can't seem to stop hurting people, can't I?" She sighed. "There are a lot of people I hurt because of my... feelings..." She managed to say.

"So you should make it work. So those people wouldn't be hurt in vain." Henry grinned at her.

"You... You love her, don't you?" Junri meant Dahee. Henry stiffly nodded. "I noticed when you talked about her when we were here. You sounded so... sad. When you told Junhong that she loved him and not you."

"Was I that obvious?" He managed a small smile, but it looked hollow and insincere. He looked back at the grave. "I managed to move on, though... She would have wanted that. I just wish Junhong could do the same."

"He will." Junri confirmed. "For now, he's just coping."

"Say," Henry started, "Did you... genuinely love me? Back then, I mean."

Junri blinked. "Of course. But that was before." She reminded.

"Because you love Yixing." He bluntly said.

"Stop saying it like that!" She reddened, making Henry laugh a little.

"But really, he's a good guy, Junri." Henry seriously said. "He may have flaws here and there, but everyone has them. But I'm sure he loves you too, no matter how much he hurt you before, he's trying his best to make up for it."

"Hmm... How do you know?" Junri curiously asked him.

"Take it from a guy he can relate to." Henry grinned. "I have to go now, you should too. Before the rain becomes harder." He patted her head. "I'm glad you remember me, Junri."

Junri smiled. "I'm glad too."

Henry glanced back at her. "You... mean it?"

"Why not?" She shrugged.

"Nothing." Henry shook his head and continued walking. "Don't get lost on your way out."

"I won't." Junri said. She stared back at Dahee's grave.

She understood that love had it's own flaws. And people will get hurt. But Henry was right... she shouldn't be scared. She's dealt with a lot of things by now, what was there left to be afraid of?

"Bye, unnie..." She whispered. "One day, I'll visit with Junhong... I promise." She smiled and walked on her path back to the car.

"You took a long time, Junri ssi. Are you alright?" The driver asked as he drived away, back to the house.

"Actually... I'm okay. More than I have been these past months." She admitted with a small smile.

The driver smiled back. "That's good to hear, Junri ssi."

 

"Hey. I'm back." Junri walked in Zelo's room and sat on his bed. "What did you do while I was gone?"

"Nothing." Zelo boredly sighed from his computer's chair. "Did you have fun?"

"Junhong, I went to a cemetery." Junri pointed out. "But yes. Because I met Henry there."

"Really? What did he say?" Zelo asked, seemingly interested.

"We... talked." Junri answered. "I miss talking to him. It's been a long time. If you don't count the days I didn't remember him, of course."

Zelo nodded. "You seem happier, though. And you're more you."

"What do you mean?" Junri asked with a grin.

"You remember, don't you?" Zelo narrowed his eyes at her. "Since when?"

"A day after the party." Junri answered, not bothering to hide it anymore.

"What? Why? I thought you'd remember AT the party." Zelo furrowed his eyebrows. *I thought it would be the clips that would remind you.*

Junri shook her head. "No... I remembered through Yixing, actually."

*That guy again.* Zelo frowned. "How-"

"I'm going to take a nap." Junri already shut the door to her room before Zelo even saw her getting up from his bed.

He became more suspicious. "You went on a date with him, didn't you?!" He yelled.

"I can't hear you! I'm taking a nap!" He heard Junri laugh.

*Sneaky.* He shook his head. *But... whatever.* He sighed. *If he could make her laugh that hard, he must have done SOMETHING right.*

He heard the sound of a piano playing a beautiful melody, and he took off his headphones immediately. He listened to the tune without moving, and he found himself smiling when she hit the right note at the end of the song. *I guess he did do somthing right. Maybe... He can be trusted now.*

From the other room, Junri couldn't help but smile while playing the piano.

Because she really did feel that things were going to be okay from that point on.

She had her memories back. She had Yixing(almost) back. And she finally fully moved on from what happened with Henry from the past.

*Everything is going to be okay from this point on...* She smiled and went to her bed. *I hope so.*

 

But of course... this was only the calm before the storm.

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BangtansWifey
I finally figured this story out! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Comments

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weinfinitizeyou
#1
Chapter 36: The ending doeeeeee the angstttttttt urghhhhhhhh
Zoraxx #2
Chapter 36: Weeeeelll.. nice story, i don't like the ending though. I think it doesnt really fit, sorry. But I enjoyed reading!
isiss1994
#3
Chapter 36: I am broken! Why! Poor Lay...I hate that he had to let go and be sad. I didn't see this ending coming :( Is there going to be a part 2? I would love to read it!
Koala_Ray
#4
Chapter 30: Ah..zelo is such a great brother~he's right Junri..learn to hang on..
stephani_bap #5
Chapter 18: ㅠ_ㅠ i feel pity for Zelo....
stephani_bap #6
Chapter 17: zelo, being a over-protective dongsaeng ㅎ ㅎ ㅎ ㅎ
sushi_sykes
#7
Chapter 16: nope shipping her with youngjae because I love that fluff ball.
stephani_bap #8
Chapter 15: nice job author! you make her get amnesia twice, but now she knows people that she hates ☜
SilentDay #9
Chapter 13: I like that song! 'Why did I fall in love with you'! :D