Bitter Words and Sweet Memories

Remembering Myself

After the speeches of thankyous and greetings, of course, the social dancing started. Though a lot already danced earlier, this event allows men to dance with any available woman in the room they choose.

"So how many times have you danced tonight?" Chen grinned at Junri.

"This is the 17th." She tiredly said. "Can I lean on your shoulder for a while? Please? Kris was too tall for that."

Chen pouted. "That hurts my pride." He joked. "But okay." Junri leaned on his shoulder to rest, letting Chen blindly dance her. A lot of jealous stares from both young bachelors and bachelorettes were shot at their area.

"You're not at all bothered that a lot of guys are planning my murder right now?"

"Because a lot of girls are already preparing for mine too." Junri replied. Chen laughed, making her feel his shoulders go up and down. "To make it worse, I danced to a LOT of young bachelors."

"Let me list it down for you," Chen began, "Zelo first, of course. Then Youngjae, Daehyun, Yongguk, Himchan and your late comer friend, Jongup." He said. "And not to mention, you also danced with Luhan, Xiumin and then Lay…” He coughed before continuing, “ Kris, and me and also other people who I can't remember their names. Tao's next."

Junri groaned. "I just want to rest for a bit."

Chen grinned. But then the song turned into a slower song. "Looks like you got your wish." He remarked. "Hey Junri?"

"Hmm?"

"If you don't remember who you are, how come you can remember me? I mean... we got to know each other through talking. So... how?" He asked.

She lifted her head. "How did you know?"

"It took a while to notice." Chen shrugged. "I only saw it when you drank the red wine earlier. You hate red wine and you swore to me you'd never drink it."

"Oh. Sorry." Junri bit her lip. Chen just waved it away. "But... you see, Zelo asked me the same question. I don't understand too, actually. It's just... you all are familiar. I know your names, face, habits… Everything I noticed before. But... when I try to do something, I just fall blank. Like, 'Did I do this already' or 'Do I love doing this' and when I tried playing the piano in my room, I couldn't even recall when I first had it. It's like..."

"Everything you knew about yourself, was gone." Chen continued for her. "You know, none of the other guys know yet. They all think you remember everything."

"I'm surprised Luhan didn't notice too." She chuckled. "He always claims he knows me, but now, he doesn't notice anything. But... don't tell them, okay?"

"Sure thing." Chen nodded, respecting her wishes and not asking why.

"My turn!" Tao towered over two of them.

Chen let go of Junri and nodded. "Have fun." He said and walked off.

"That's odd. What did you do to him? He was all polite and not being sarcastic." Tao huffed and danced with her.

Junri chuckled. "Chen is a whole lot more than what you think he is."

"That's because he's always like that to me!"

 

"You do know I read lips, right?"

Chen stared at Luhan. "Yeah. Why do you think I agreed easily to not telling anyone?" He raised an eyebrow at him. "Where are the others?" He asked, seating himself.

"Kris is with some random girl. Xiumin is dancing with his aunt. Lay is... I don't know." Luhan shrugged. "And FYI, I did notice."

"Oh really?" Chen smirked. "How?"

"Look at her necklace."

Chen furrowed his eyebrows, but glanced at Junri anyway. "It looks like a compass... What about it?" He asked, still looking at the necklace.

"It was a gift from Lay." Luhan answered. "I knew something wasn't right when I saw her wearing it."

Chen turned to him and gave him a confused look. "It was from Lay. Shouldn't she remember?"

Luhan shook his head. "You don't understand, that thing meant to her more than her piano or all of her drawings and cameras combined. It was hers. Only for her. From the person she held dear."

Chen still didn't understand. "We're dear to her, right?"

"Yes. But she bought that with Lay too. It was a couple thing." Luhan shrugged, hiding the bitterness in his tone. "So when she forgot herself... she forgot the one thing she always wore too."

"Oh. You could've just said so." Chen shook his head. "But... why a compass? I would expect a unicorn horn or something Lay related or Junri related like a piano."

Luhan shrugged. "I don't understand too. I didn't ask her or Lay before."

 

"It means finding one another."

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"Where the heck did that come from?" Chen's eyes were wide with surprise and a little fear.

Luhan's eyebrows furrowed. "Lay? Was that you?"

"Yup."

"Where are you?! You scared me!" Chen exhaled.

"Under the table."

They both looked at each other before looking under the table.

"Why are you there?!" Luhan gave him a weird look.

Lay took his eyes off his iPad mini and shortly glanced at him before continuing playing his game. "In case Meylin comes back. And I didn't want to be a loser playing gadgets out there."

"So you hid under the table?!" Chen sighed.

Lay shrugged. He crawled out the table and stood up. A lot of people who were also sitting by their tables gave him weird looks, but he ignored them and sat beside Chen and Luhan.

"What I was saying was, the compass means finding each other. Because you probably don't know, but Junri at navigation. Like me. We got lost in an unfamiliar mall in less than a minute." Lay smiled at the memory. He showed his chain bracelet, having the same compass charm. "We bought it there. At the mall we got lost in. It's not a real compass and only for show, but hey. It means something." *It means a lot, actually.* He thought and put his hand back down.

Luhan and Chen nodded.

"Are you two forgetting you were talking about me?" Lay crossed his arms and gave them both a hard look. "Not to mention, you two are keeping secrets from the others. And me."

"I promised to not tell anyone." Chen defended.

"And I'm sure Junri wouldn't want me telling anyone either." Luhan reasoned. "Besides, I'm sure she'll tell them one day or they'll find out. And should I remind you that YOU didn't notice too?"

"Excuse me?" Lay blinked at Luhan. "Who told you I didn't notice? I knew since yesterday!"

Luhan and Chen looked at each other again. "Explain." Luhan urged.

"Well... because of that incident at the center," He glanced at Luhan who nodded, "I was guilty. I couldn't sleep the whole night. And also on Sunday night. So on Monday morning, I skipped school, remember? I came to their house. I was lucky Zelo let me in."

"What did you do there?" Chen asked.

"I... talked to her." Lay answered. He was staring at Junri right from across the room. She just finished dancing with her father, and went back to sitting with B.A.P. "It felt like forever since I normally did that. You know, no holding back?" There was a silence, as Luhan and Chen just stared at him, silently asking him to continue. "She really couldn't remember who she was. I asked her her favorite color, ice cream flavors even her ambition. But she didn't know anything. I tried my best to help her and answer her questions, because there are a lot that she only told me. I guess Zelo hates me even more for that." He sadly chuckled. "But... I really miss her. And I'm glad that even when she remembers what happened between us, she still acknowledges me."

"Wasn't it awkward?" Chen asked. "Wasn't she the least bit mad at you?"

Lay shook his head. "We talked like normal. Like friends, I mean. And I asked her that, but she said no." Luhan furrowed his eyebrows. "She said she never really was mad. She supported me. I told her that I already called off the engagement. She went silent after that." He sighed. "That makes me feel even guiltier..."

"So what are you going to do now? I mean... she's not mad. But then again, you don't know exactly what she feels for you." Luhan asked.

Lay looked at him. "I don't know. Why would you care? Shouldn't you worry about courting her?" He asked with a purely innocent tone. There wasn't any hint of anger or resentment.

"Just because I like her doesn't mean I'm going to pursue her." Luhan stated. *I'd lose to you anyway.* He sadly thought. *It's a no-brainer. She'll always choose you. She can't get mad at you because she loves you. You're just too dense to figure that out.*

Chen had turned quiet until he asked with a pointed finger, "Who's that?"

 

"Can I dance with her?"

Zelo immediately went into action and stood in front of Junri. "You can't."

"Why not?" Henry asked. "Please? Just once."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Zelo coldly asked.

"I was invited." Henry stated and meaningfully glanced at Junri. "Just... let me dance with her."

"Why should I let you?" Zelo crossed his arms. "After all you did to her? I won't let you."

"Zelo... Let Junri decide." Yongguk calmly said. Though he didn't know what was going on, he knew it would be best that Junri did talk to the guy. He looked awefully desperate to him.

Zelo glanced at Junri. She nodded. "It's okay. I'm okay with it." "But-"

"She decided, Zelo. Let her go." Himchan reprimanded him. He understood that the maknae was worried, but he was being over-protective.

Zelo deflated and went back to his seat. "Fine." He muttered.

Henry held out his hand which Junri took and they went to the dance floor.

He put his hands on her waist, while her hands were at the back of his neck.

"Is... Is this okay with you?" Henry asked. "I would have understood if you didn't want to dance with me."

"It's because I knew you had something to say." Junri quietly said. "But I want to ask one thing first." She looked up to him, and he nodded. "Did you continue your study there?"

Henry uneasily looked away. "I... Before I answer that, you have to know that... I wasn't the one who went to college there."

Junri gave him a confused look. "What? Then who?"

"A friend." He answered. He looked at her to see her reaction, but she was wearing the same confused face.

"Then why? Why would you ask me to be your fiancé if it was all for someone else?" She asked, pain blanketing her words.

Henry hung his head low. "As your fiancé, I grew popularity as well. Soon, I became known to the Universities in China. I signed a letter under your or supposed to be our name stating we vouch for her-"

"Her?" Junri chocked out.

Henry nodded. "I... I didn't have a choice..." He looked down.

"So you played with my feelings instead?" Junri pulled away from him- or more like he pushed him away from her. "How could you, Henry? You were the only person I could trust outside of my family..." She whispered. "I thought I finally found someone who genuinely became my friend because of me... not because of my name." Her voice cracked, making Henry feel even guiltier. "You know, I can't remember anything about myself, right?" She bitterly smiled at him. "I wish I can't remember who you are too." She said and walked away from him.

He swore, he saw something trailing down her cheek.

*Way to go, Henry...* He sarcastically thought to himself. *Way to break her heart. Again. Even when she doesn't even love you anymore.* He sighed.

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BangtansWifey
I finally figured this story out! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Comments

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weinfinitizeyou
#1
Chapter 36: The ending doeeeeee the angstttttttt urghhhhhhhh
Zoraxx #2
Chapter 36: Weeeeelll.. nice story, i don't like the ending though. I think it doesnt really fit, sorry. But I enjoyed reading!
isiss1994
#3
Chapter 36: I am broken! Why! Poor Lay...I hate that he had to let go and be sad. I didn't see this ending coming :( Is there going to be a part 2? I would love to read it!
Koala_Ray
#4
Chapter 30: Ah..zelo is such a great brother~he's right Junri..learn to hang on..
stephani_bap #5
Chapter 18: ㅠ_ㅠ i feel pity for Zelo....
stephani_bap #6
Chapter 17: zelo, being a over-protective dongsaeng ㅎ ㅎ ㅎ ㅎ
sushi_sykes
#7
Chapter 16: nope shipping her with youngjae because I love that fluff ball.
stephani_bap #8
Chapter 15: nice job author! you make her get amnesia twice, but now she knows people that she hates ☜
SilentDay #9
Chapter 13: I like that song! 'Why did I fall in love with you'! :D