Maybe it was the relief that flooded into his system that time that made him feel so guilty...

"Luhan? Can buy me some chocolates from the convenience store here?"

He shook his head, grinning. "You know you're not allowed to eat those yet."

Maybe it was not telling her the whole story that made him feel even worse...

"Who said that?!"

"Me."

Or maybe it was taking advantage of the moment...

"Come on! Just a small box. I've been caged in this room for like 3 weeks! I need REAL food, Lulu."

He sighed, giving in to her pouting expression. "Fine. But don't tell the others or they'll never let me watch over you alone again!" He made a faux frown, though he wasn't really forced to do anything. He wanted to.

He wanted to buy her chocolates and then feed them to her later.

He approached the table beside her hospital bed, where he put his wallet, when he felt her cold lips on his cheek.

"What was that for?" His eyes widening, shocked, though secretly pleased.

"A thankyou." She replied, smiling. "Hurry, okay?"

With a lovesick sigh, he murmured a yes before closing the door behind him.

With the click of the door, he suddenly felt a heavy weight on his chest.

*Is this what it comes to?* He asked himself, vacantly staring at the white tiles as he walked to the elevator. The disgust churning at the pit of his stomach seemed to stop him from walking. He leaned on the wall, clutching his chest as if having a heart attack. *I'm sorry, Yixing... I'm so sorry...*

"I can't... I can't anymore, Luhan... I can't..."

Lay clutched his knees as he curled outside of the emergency room. Before, Luhan thought Lay was so strong for being so calm and collected... how wrong was he? "She won't remember me. I know it. I just know it. I saw the scans... the vitals... everything. If they want to remove the root of that tumour, they'll have to touch THAT part of her brain..."

Luhan, not really a medicine freak like Lay, slightly understood. "You're exaggerating, Lay. Have a little faith. Come on."

"Faith... What of faith when there really is no hope." Lay blankly whispered. "Please, Luhan... I need you to do something for me."

Looking up, showing his puffy red eyes, he stared at Luhan with the most serious expression he had.

"What?" Luhan asked, slightly fearing whatever he was asking him to do.

"If she doesn't remember-"

"Yixing-"

"IF she doesn't remember," Lay continued, the seriousness radiating from him made Luhan shut up. "I'm leaving."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm leaving, Luhan. I'm going to China." Lay elaborated, "My father... he doesn't like the Chois. He said all that all of this was giving me was grief... He said that Junri was distracting me from my real purpose:

building an unbreakable empire... And he said that once the operation finishes and he doesn't hear news that would secure the know between me and Junri-" Luhan chocked on his saliva. They were too young to be

thinking about marriage! "I'll be forced back to China..."

"But Yixing... You can't just leave... If she really doesn't remember, she'll be vulnerable. Sooner or later, she'll feel the void. Maybe she won't remember who you are, but she'll remember what you make her feel!" Luhan argued. He didn't want to have to see Junri feel alone in the future. "You can't leave, Yixing."

"I can't stay." Lay whispered. "So I need you to replace me..."

Luhan gaped at him.

"Be the Yixing in her life if it needs be, Luhan. Be her love. Because I can't be that anymore..."

"You're not even fighting to stay..." Luhan growled, enraged. How could he say that? How could he say this like it would be easy?

Didn't he at all think how hard it would be for Junri too?

"I did, Luhan... You don't know how hard I did..." A tear trickled down Yixings cheek. "But I really can't stay... I know you love her, Luhan... I really do... Probably a little more than how I love her." Lay whispered the last part. "And maybe... there has always been that small part of me that thought... she loves you too."

"Not in the same way..." Luhan quietly added.

"Maybe you think that just because I have the title... But at the back of my mind, I knew a part of her heart was yours... Always yours..." Lay admitted. "She wouldn't have bought you that necklace if she doesn't..."

Luhan blinked. *He knew?*

"Yes, I knew." Lay chuckled, "How could I not? That day... when we bought our couple bracelet and necklace, she bought you something..."

"She said it was a birthday gift." Luhan said, disbelief evident in his tone.

"4 months early!" Lay laughed. Luhan knew all too well than to believe Lay was happy. "It was a deer necklace. You always wear it... but with a longer chain so it goes under your shirt unseen." He predicted.

Luhan touched the cold necklace from under his shirt. "How did you know?"

"I'm not as oblivious as you all think I am... Maybe for her, I was always alert. So I'm giving you the freedom of choice, Luhan. If she doesn't remember, I'll leave and you can do whatever you want..."

"So if she does remember, I'm back to being just a friend? How selfish, Yixing." Luhan meant it as a joke, but the blank expression Lay had cut off his laughter.

"Why yes, Mister Lu. I am. How ever did you find out?"

"What took you so long? Did you grow a beard along the way?"

Luhan looked up, meeting eyes with a smiling Junri.

She looked so beautiful... Even if her skin was a grayish white and her body was a bit too thin.

"I... The cashier took too long." Luhan made up an excuse. "Sorry." He apologetically smiled, handing her the box.

She took the box, frowning.

"What? Did I get the wrong brand?" Luhan asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He was sure he got it right.

"Do you love me?"

Luhan blinked in astonishment. "W-what? Why are you asking that?"

With a sigh, Junri started opening the box. "... Nothing... Forget it." He softened at the sight of her crestfallen expression. He sat on the bed, wrapping one arm around her and kissing her hair. "Of course I do, why are you asking that?"

"You're so distant, Luhan... You said I was your girlfriend, but you don't act like my boyfriend... Or maybe... I was imagining all of this?" Junri thought out-loud. Staring up to him, she frowned. "I'm sorry, Luhan. I just don't know... I feel like there's something..."

*Wrong?* He thought, but selfishly did not voice-out.

"Well, forget it." Junri shrugged, smiling again. "I'm sure you'll take responsibility."

"For what?" Luhan asked, tightening his arm around her.

"For making me fall for you, Luhan." Junri simply said, grinning. "I trust you. So are you up to the challenge?"

Luhan smiled back. "Yes, Ms Choi. I am up to the challenge!"

Because guilt...

Guilt does not compare to his love. Nor to his selfishness.

THE END

I'm still not used to the new layout of AFF (I don't know how to change the font) but I'm learning. XD

Sorry about the late update. I, admittedly, had a stump with this story. I didn't know how to end it. But at the same time, I didn't want to have just another happy ending. I wanted to have an UNEXPECTED ending. So... VOILA!

Thankyou guys a lot for supporting this fic :DD Sorry if it's not what you had in mind, but I still hope you support me in my other ongoing fics!

See you guys!