Next chapter is here! Apologies for this jumpy chapter. I'm trying to get to the rest of the story as quickly as possible because this disfunctional relatonship has gone on for wayyyyyy too long. 

Thank you for reading! 

-Author person

Lu Han took a deep breath. He could see his girlfriend in the midst of his friends. She was laughing along to a joke Chanyeol had made. The sight made him hesitate for a moment, it didn’t seem like a very good time to break up with someone. But he knew that the longer he laid it off the bigger the problem it would be. The faster this was done the better. He needed some time to sort himself out. And he didn’t want the situation between him and Nayoung to get any worse. Lu Han could tell his parents had something in mind. They were definitely thinking of doing something, so the sooner he could figure himself out the sooner he could clarify with his parents what he wanted.

‘So, I ran up to the guy- Oh Lu Han! You’re here!’ Chanyeol greeted him in a loud voice, welcoming him with a heavy pat on the back that almost knocked all the air out of his chest.

‘You’re a bit late.’

‘Yeah sorry I got a little lost.’ That was a lie. He had spent half an hour at home debating whether or not he wanted to come.

‘See I told you we should have just gone to the shopping centre like usual.’ Baekhyun elbowed Suho in a joking manner.

Suho sighed, ‘Look, sometimes we need a little fresh air alright? Look there’s trees, and a playground-’

‘A playground that’s for little kids. I can’t even slide down the slide because my feet already touch the bottom.’

Lu Han wasn’t paying attention to the rest of the conversation, his mind occupied by the task ahead of him. How was he supposed to break up with her? Where should he take her? Should he do it now? Later? But how much later?

______________

‘Well, I guess we’ll head off then.’ Xiumin dusted the bark off of his pants as he stood up.

‘We’ll see you on Monday,’ his friends waved at him as he started to leave.

‘See ya.’ Lu Han gave them a curt nod and watched as they all left.

A heavy silence fell over the two remaining in the park. Lu Han stole a glance at the girl to his left, trying to read her emotions. But he knew either way neither of them would be leaving in a good mood.

__________

‘Hey Kyungmi.’ Lu Han felt his heart sink when she turned to him. His shoulders were already heavy with guilt.

I think we need to talk.’ She felt her chest tighten at his words. His words were always so full of love, so kind and gentle. A voice that felt like bells chiming in her ears. Why was it only now that she realised how cold and distant he sounded? Had it always been this way? Was the change so gradual that she just never realised?

She forced herself to look at him, ‘Y-yeah?’ Her voice was shakier than she had intended.

‘I really think we should break up now.’ His words crushed her. Kyungmi fought back her tears. She had prepared herself for this. She had tried to talk herself through this. She already knew before that this was going to happen. And yet, despite all that, it didn’t hurt any less.

‘You promised though, that you’d be with me forever..’ She choked back a sob. He had been the one that pried her heart open, forced his way in and took her breath away like a prince, so why was he one that was leaving?

Lu Han sighed, running a hand through his unkempt hair, the dark bags under his eyes indicated to her he didn’t feel any better about this than she did. ‘I know I did, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore. You noticed too right? That I was already gone a long time ago.’

It broke her heart even more to know that. That the three years she had spent with him crumbled as soon as Nayoung had come into the picture. ‘Why her?’

‘I don’t know. I just do, I don’t really get it myself either. If you told me to list her good traits, she wouldn’t have any... but I still like her. And I know that won’t change. I’m really sorry.’

And with that last sentence Kyungmi’s heart shattered into pieces. She couldn’t control the tears running down her cheeks. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t control the flood of tears. It hurt. So much. The fact that he was able to say it with such clarity crushed her pride. Was she not good enough?

Usually, in these situations, Lu Han would be there to comfort her, to tell her not to cry, that he was by her side, he’d take away all the pain. But as she stood there and cried, he made no move to comfort her. He didn’t move at all. No comforting words, no hug, nothing. She realised that she no longer had that warmth to comfort her, that shoulder to lean on, those words of encouragement and comfort. And that only crushed her even more.

_____________

‘Hey Kyungmi, cheer up okay? Don’t worry too much.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure things will work out.’

‘Lu Han’s going through a rough spot right now he’s just confused and stressed.’

‘It’ll be okay, alright?’

Nayoung rolled her eyes as the group of boys comforted the upset Kyungmi once again. What was she crying about this time?

She felt a jolt of anger, or was it jealousy? Frustration? She didn’t know, all she knew was that she had lost her appetite. The girl placed her spoon back down on the table, forcing herself to watch the other people in the cafeteria instead of the obnoxiously loud group that was conveniently placed directly in front of her.

She hated Kyungmi.

Why was she getting fawned over like some stupid baby lamb? Why was she so dependent? So weak? The weak were meant to be stepped on, they were always left behind. So how come Kyungmi wasn’t? And why did it feel like she was instead? It infuriated her to no end. Nayoung knew that the anger she felt was no justified. But she couldn’t help but feel so much resentment toward the latter. Kyungmi had everything she wanted. She was what Lu Han wanted. What her parents wanted. Everything that she wasn’t.

Nayoung had spent her life carefully building up this wall, this facade. She had spent her whole life pretending to be strong, so long so that it had become second nature. She had grown up with these rules which she kept unrelentlessly. Push people away before they can break in. Kick them down so you’re always on top. Step on them before they can step on you. If you can’t help yourself no one will, because there’s no one there. Why? Because she had pushed them away before they could break in.

And so it infuriated her when Kyungmi, someone who did none of that, who was not lonely, who did not suffer, got all the love and attention.

Nayoung slapped her hands on the table, standing up and storming off in another fit of anger. Being angry at someone else, was afterall, much easier than being sad for yourself.

----------

Nayoung scribble furiously on her piece of scrap paper. She got the wrong answer. Again. She let out a cry of frustration before pushing away from her desk. She threw herself on the bed, maybe taking a quick nap will help her refresh her mind. Maybe a quick 5 minute break will give her some epiphany and she’ll finally figure out this physics problem.

Ding dong.

The girl raised an eyebrow at the sound of the doorbell. Why was someone ringing the doorbell? Lu Han had keys, and he wasn’t home so none of his friends would be coming over. She decided to stay put, maybe it was one of those business people trying to sell their products.

Ding dong.

Ding dong.

Maybe it wasn’t.

She swiftly made her way down the stairs. Nayoung fiddled with the locks for a moment before cautiously opening the door. Before she even caught a glimpse of who the visitors were an aggressive hand swung the door wide open, making her stumble and let go of the door.

‘Nayoung.’ She froze at the loud, gruff voice she recognised all too well. A man strided in. He was tall, wearing a clean suit and expensive dress shoes. His hair was slicked back with so much gel his hair looked wet, and his beard was speckled with grey hairs, the signs of aging. A woman of similar age followed with pursed lips, shoulders stiff with anger.

‘Mother-’

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Although it was phrased in a questioning manner, Nayoung knew her mother wasn’t really asking a question.

‘What do you mean? I don’t understan-’

Nayoung’s sentenced was cut off when she felt the sharp sting across her cheek. The sound of the slap cut through the heavy air like a knife.

‘You don’t understand? The Lu’s asked about a divorce at yesterday’s dinner. They told me you’ve been on bad terms. Explain to me why you’re on bad terms. What did you do.’

Nayoung swallowed the lump in , forcing herself to remain calm despite her racing heart. She had to push the fear down. She was older now, surely she’d be able to stand up against her parents this time.

‘We didn’t get along… and why is this my fault? Why am I to blame-’

Another slap.

Nayoung felt a piercing burning sensation across her cheek where her mothers ring had scratched her. She hadn’t been hit like this in a while, and she had almost forgotten how painful it was.

‘You rude girl.’

It was her father who spoke this time, and Nayoung felt herself immediately freezing when he got closer. A spike of fear clamped . She felt like she was a child again. She was back to the little girl who would hide in her room. She was powerless again.

‘You’ve grown complacent since we haven’t been around haven’t you? When did you have the nerve to talk back to your parents like this? Where is your respect? I don’t remember raising a child like this.’

I don’t remember you ever raising me in the first place.

Nayoung bit back her reply. She could deal with her mother’s anger, but definitely not her fathers. She was wrong. She was older now, but that didn’t change anything. She was still weak, a pathetic child.

‘Disappointment after disappointment. Why can’t you do anything right? We gave you one job and you can’t even do it right? How spoilt can you get?’

Nayoung wondered that herself. Why couldn't she do anything right?

Her mother scowled, ‘this simply won’t do. You are going to come back home. No more of this nonsense until we sort out this situation with the Lu’s. We’re coming to take you tomorrow. Pack your things. Do you understand?’

Nayoung felt her heart sink. She nodded lifelessly.

‘Do you understand.’ Nayoung instinctively cowered as her father step forward, his voice drumming into her ears.

‘Yes.’

And with that, just as quickly as they had come in, they left. Nayoung was left to dwell in silence. It was an uncomfortable, prickling silence, one that made the hairs on her arms stand on end. She shuffled her way to the kitchen, rummaging the freezer to find something she could use as an icepack. Her hands reached for the bag of frozen peas, that would have to do. The cold bag cooled her throbbing cheek, leaving a pleasant chill in its place.

She knew it was best to just comply. It was better to swallow her pride and listen when it was obvious they were not on a level playing field. She knew no matter what she did it would be useless; her parents were powerful, influential, rich people; even if she asked for help they’d be paid into silence. She knew she had no power. It was best to just let things blow over. Maybe she’d be able to talk to her parents after, when she knew it wouldn’t lead to anything violent.

It was highly unlikely, but it was all she had.

She wondered to the couch and the TV, flipping through channels aimlessly. Her mind was occupied by the throbbing on her cheek. The girl fumbled with her phone, checking her reflection in the screen. Nayoung couldn’t help but sigh at the person looking back at her.

She was ugly. There was a small scratch across her cheek, and a few specks of deep purple had begun to form across her cheek. Her lip was slightly swollen, and it stung when she forced a smile. But for some reason the person staring back at her felt all too familiar.

‘God damn it!’ She threw her phone onto the opposite side of the couch. She was scared. Angry. And so so frustrated. She felt like a caged animal. Her parents had played her. They had given her freedom, an escape. They dangled it in front of her, tempting her, and just when she took a step outside they push her back in locked the gates.

Nayoung switched off the TV slumped into the couch, allowing herself to appreciate the simple pleasure of the soft pillows cushioning her back. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally and the idea of sleeping it off was very tempting.

Her sluggishness was shattered the moment she heard the door opening. The tiredness disappearing in an instant, she whipped her face around to check who the intruder was, a shot of panic running up her spine.

It was Lu Han.

‘Did she forget to lock the door?’

She heard him speak underneath his breath, and before she was able to turn back around he saw her.

______________

At first Lu Han was surprised, it was rare that Nayoung left her room these days. It was rare even to see her at all after their fall out that day. He felt a sudden wave of relief wash over him for a moment, he had come home with a strange feeling that something was off. As he turned into the main street he saw a black car drive past. He hadn’t caught the number plate but it looked like the Kang’s car. He almost allowed himself to smile until he noticed the mark across her cheek, and the dark flowery spots surrounding it.

Something was off.

‘Wait Nayoung-’

He saw a flash of panic on her features before the girl turned around, sinking into the couch and allowing her hair to cover the bruises on her face. He knew Nayoung and her parents were not on good terms. He knew they had a bad relationship. But he never would have thought they were physically abusive. They seemed like such pleasant people whenever they had dinner together. The image of their friendly smiles flashed through his mind; the thought sent a chill down his spine.

‘What happened? Why do you have a-’

‘Leave me alone.’

‘But you’re clearly hurt.’

‘It’s my problem okay? I can deal with it.’

It was clear she couldn’t deal with it. Lu Han could tell from her wavering tone that she knew that herself. He wanted to object, but she wasn’t going to change her mind, not anytime soon.

And so, he had to swallow the lump in his throat, ignore his heavy heart and let her be.

‘I have some cream for your cheek. I’ll leave it on the table. Make sure you use it.’

Lu Han reluctantly turned away and made his way upstairs. His heart was heavy, it hurt to see Nayoung. He’d lived with her for so long, how did he never pick it up? Why had he never noticed? The thought made his anger flare.

He felt like scum.