Love is Crying - K.Will (open in new window)

Kyungsoo's POV

Emptiness. Hollowness. A deep chasm of nothing. What am I feeling? Am I supposed to feel something? My heart started to beat slower and slower until I felt aloof. At this place in time, I didn't want to do anything. It was a struggle to move my body. Only sighs came out as I looked straight at the closed double doors in front of me. I stood still, trying let this moment fly away.

To pass time, I listened to people behind me fantasizing about our future. The future between me and Annabelle... They talked from marriage to sweet honeymoon, and then children. High shrieks and endless giggles spread rapidly around the room. I wanted to run away. I didn't know exactly where, and it didn't matter. I just wanted to escape from all of this. 

I turned to see everyone laugh behind me. People contorted into weird images and I felt my head spinning. Ugh. I turned back and massaged my temples, hoping to alleviate the dizziness. I slightly shook my head and everything became a blur. The people, the surroundings, everything faded and people's voices became distant echoes. I felt all alone. What is wrong with you today? Keep yourself together! Remember, your parents spent a lot of effort into organizing this engagement party. At least look happy for them, even if you aren't. I lifted my head back to face the ceiling and shut my eyelids. This should help, for now.

I was relaxing my mind. Upon my meditation in silent darkness, I saw a soft white haze in the horizon. I tried to get a better look. What is that? Unconsciously, I ran towards the white figure. At the same time, it seemed to come towards me at a faster pace. The white fog became more defined to a human figure with its arms spread out.

"Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo!" A female voice called for my name. 

Without a reply, I kept running towards her. The closer I got to her, the more she resembled someone I knew. 

"Kyungsoo! Hello, are you there?" The female voice called for me. When she finally got to me, I was surprised. It was the Maiden! She talked! She called for my name! I was overwhelmed with a mixture of happiness and amazement. The Maiden said my name! Aish! Calm down, Kyungsoo! I breathed in and out. I looked at her and gave her my warmest smile and she smiled back. I had so much to say to her but I didn't know where to start. Since she knows my name, should I know hers? I don't even know her name yet! Just as I was about to happily ask her, the Maiden held me by the shoulders and gently shook me. Puzzled, I stared into her eyes. Oh how long it has been since I looked into them! Before I had to chance to ask her what was wrong, I opened my eyes. And... Annabelle? I felt greatly disappointed. I knew it was too good to be true. Thinking about the Maiden made me crave for her, her touch, her smile, her presence. I needed her more than anyone in the world. Endless questions about her came to mind, none could be answered. 

"Are you alright? I called for you but you wouldn't answer," Annabelle said with concern. I tried to grin but instead, I pursed my lips in which made me look anxious. She gave a worried glance.

"It's almost our turn to go into the ballroom. Aren't you excited?" Annabelle said, trying to cheer me up.

Yes. I am greatly excited. I let out a small sigh. Smile, Kyungsoo. From this moment on, you are Annabelle's fiancé. Getting my heart and my face to beam with happiness, the horn blared. The double doors opened. I gathered all my strength to plaster a smile on my face. 

I observed everyone around me. My face was smiling but my heart wasn't. Trying to distract my misery, I looked at the clothes people wore. From classy to y, everyone dressed differently. Among all the attire, a coral dress caught my attention. Wondering who it belonged to, I looked up towards the face of the person. Oh! The owner of the bright coral dress was none other than the beautiful Maiden. Our eyes met. How long has it been since I've last seen her. The misery inside me was instantly replaced with glee. My knees became weak; I was about to collapse from relief of seeing her. Before I could smile at her, she looked away. Oh. Maybe I was anticipating too much from her. Or maybe I shouldn't expect anything at all because I am Annabelle's fiancé. Saddened by the thought, the plastic smile I wore disappeared. 

"Kyungsoo, try to look a bit happier," Annabelle whispered without looking at me.

She looked at the direction of where our parents were. My parents' faces had smiles but they weren't genuine; more of a display. Their faces didn't look happy and their eyes were pleading something. Not knowing what it could be, I put up a big smile and twirled Annabelle. My parents' faces brightened. Aaaah~ They want me to show more affection towards Annabelle. If that's what they want, then I'll give them that tonight.

"The food will be out shortly. But let's get the party started, shall we?!" I shouted, trying to ignite excitement. Everyone cheered and rushed to the dance floor.

Meanwhile, my eyes instinctively searched for the Maiden. Where could she be? Is she alright? My heart was in panic mode. I just saw her and- Is that it? My thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a bright coral dress. That dress has to be the Maiden's! Peering for a better look, I waited until people moved away for the Maiden's face to reappear. When I finally