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“Are you ready?” Your mother whispers on your ear.

You nod your head way too many times. “Yes.”

She uncovers your eyes which were wrapped with a bandana and come face to face with Super Junior. You aren’t exactly on a music show like you wanted but come to think of it, this is better. You’re on the back part of the mansion and here is where a mini-stage is built big enough to fit all of them. They’re going to perform their comeback song in front of you since you badly want to see them dance. Don’t even ask how this managed to happen.

Their song starts to blast up from the speakers and they start their lively performance. They had tables for props too. The lyrics of the song actually hit you without its actual intention to. That part where they joyfully sing, swing, never, never give up, it’s wonderful. You can’t help but smile throughout their performance and clap the hardest when they finished.

While you were watching Kyuhyun and the rest of Super Junior perform, your body didn’t hurt one bit because you were shot with painkillers earlier this morning. Such drugs though don’t last long that you feel the pain coming back to you slowly now. It is after all, almost lunch time. You actually missed this place, you know. When you had the chance to actually leave this place, you left so quickly and never even looked back. It’s the first time you’re coming back after almost three years.

Kyuhyun walks towards you the moment he finishes changing clothes. You had to eat lunch now inside the mansion and he wants to push you towards the dining hall. You are in a wheelchair for easy-movement.

“You’re awesome!” You grin at him as he strolls the wheelchair down the dirt path towards your house.

“I know.” He smirks but you can see amusement in his eyes. The rest of the members already leave first because they’re still performing their goodbye stage later. Kyuhyun will just catch up with them after lunch. Your father specifically wanted all of you around for the first ever complete family dinner after sixteen years.

“Hey, don’t grow cold around her, okay? She’s actually quite an angel.” He whispers by your ear when he notices you stiffen.

“I’ll be my normal self around strangers. I practically don’t know her.” You answer.

“That! That’s exactly what I don’t wish you’d be around her. At least try and be casual?” He suggests.

“I’ll try. But don’t expect.” You reply and even ask him to stir faster. “Besides, the painkillers start to wear off. I might not be able to speak clearly if the pain shoots up again.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He shrugs and leads you to the dining hall wherein you can already smell the delicious foods from afar.

You sit on your usual chair in the dining table with Kyuhyun beside you. Jaebin is sitting across Kyuhyun. Everyone seems so naturally vibrant today that you seem to be ruining the picture. Even your parents look like they’ve been this happy for years. You couldn’t even see the difference. It’s as if they’ve been doing this for a long time now.

“Your mother cooked this especially for you, Jae Min. This was your favorite food.” Your father points out the steaming beef stew on the table. It’s actually the first time you’ve seen this.

“I had… a favorite food?” You ask in a whisper. You’re feeling the tiny stings again.

“Yes, you did.” Your father answers.

Your mother sees your confused face that she explains. “We didn’t want you to remember so we avoided cooking this for years. But it doesn’t matter now so–”

“It doesn’t… matter?” You almost scoff but see Kyuhyun eye you from the sides. You just roll eyes and mutter an apology towards Kyuhyun.

“Well… it kind of does but…” She can’t answer it well.

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just eat. I’m sure oppa doesn’t want to be late for his last stage.” You cut her out –almost smirking – and start to eat the beef stew you used to eat a lot. It’s kind of a it attitude but you don’t care anyway.

They start to eat too, but you can greatly sense how the atmosphere turned a little dark after the conversation. Well they shouldn’t have started it. It clearly doesn’t mean that just because you know things now, you’ll change. Some will always say it’s better to keep who you are than change for who you wish to be. You don’t wish to be anyone else in that matter but it’s something like that.

It continues to get quiet, in fact too quiet for your liking that you want to put chaos in just so you wouldn’t be able to think of actual problems right now.

“So… how did they… find you?” You ask Jaebin. You are twins anyway –although you vary a tiny bit on the facial features –so you highly think that you don’t need to put up manners with her. She should understand. Besides, she was the one who chose to leave sixteen years ago.

“Through Tao.” She answers.

You almost thought she means to do this to you. After seeing her innocent face though, you realize that she really has no idea that what she said was something she supposedly shouldn’t have answered. She is really one innocent girl. You almost pity her. Now, you quite have ideas why she actually chose to go far away that time.

You continue to eat and have small talks until you ran out of things to talk about and plates of food are turned empty. Kyuhyun immediately bids his goodbye and your parents go back to their usual routine. It’s just you and Jaebin left. How unfortunate you must be.

You are watching the balls of clouds pass by on the high sky. You are on your back against the trimmed green grass at the back part of the mansion. Never in your whole life did you imagine being here, doing this. Besides, Jaebin is also lying on her back with you.

“We used to do this a lot, you know. Back when we were kids.” She says.

“Just lie around here and watch the sky?” You ask as you try to reach out to to the clouds. It’s like something you’ve always done, something you’re very much accustomed to like the back of your hand. You all know too well that isn’t even possible.

“Yeah… we even do this during night time, when the stars are twinkling at their brightest.” She tries to grasp a cloud by her hand with her arms stretched out so far. You really do things alike.

“You still remember everything.” You state. It’s like she could tell things as if she memorized it for all these years.

“Yeah, well… I just couldn’t forget. Besides, this wasn’t even as often as you’d go to your secret place. You always sneak out whenever you can. You couldn’t even tell me where it is.” She sighs. Her voice, it seems so lonely. “That’s also why mom and dad are closer to me, even way back when we were still kids. You were always out playing in your secret place with your friend.”

This secret place… must it be the maple tree?

“I was like that?” You ask.

“Even when we were kids, yes. You were always so far and distant, you know. I actually thought that maybe if I did leave, mom and dad would finally pour attention on you. That was why I chose to leave. I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry.” But you couldn’t hear her words. In fact, it only got you curious of what really happened sixteen years ago.

“The accident… could you tell me how it all started? How it came out the way it did?” Your head averts towards Jaebin now.

“I don’t know… they told me to never tell it to you. And I believe them. It’s best if you know nothing about it.” She turns to you too, this time though with eyes full of uncertainty.

“I won’t tell anyone.” You say.

She hesitates, but gives in anyway. “You see, we were always together back then. We’d wear what the other wears, do what the other does, share what the other has and we just never keep secrets from each other. You were the smarter one, but I was the obedient daughter. Obviously, mom and dad loved me for that. They’d start comparing us about almost everything. You got tired of it, you know. I mean, we were kids but you had a great mind. Mom and dad couldn’t see that, at least back then they didn’t.

“One day, we visited mom’s friend’s house. There was a mini-party but you thought it was boring that you decided to walk around a bit and made me promise not to tell anybody you left. And I didn’t. Besides, no one even noticed.

“It started that day that you would just casually vanish from the mansion every afternoon. Of course, everyone was busy that I was the only one who noticed. I realized it because we would always play around with each other, you know. And suddenly, you were just no longer around. You’d always come back right in time for dinner though, so I thought to just let it pass.

“It kept happening for weeks, even months that I had to ask questions. You only answered that you found a new friend that you don’t plan on sharing. I was hurt that I didn’t know but I was even more in pain when you just ran to me one day and told me that your friend was leaving. You were crying… and I would want to do anything just to stop your tears.

“You knew that we couldn’t just go out of the mansion that easily that you used our parent’s favoritism on me to allow us to go the airport. You said you wanted to see him one last time… and also… to give him the letter you’ve written for him the night before.

“Fortunately, we were able to plead them it was very important. So we rode on the van and travelled to the airport. Halfway towards the airport though, you were reading through your letter. You were always keen about errors that you made sure there isn’t anything of such in your letter. I was curious that I snatched it away from you. We both struggled to have the letter in our hands.

“Unfortunately, the window was open that the letter flew out of the car. It was a windy day that the letter danced with the wind longer than it should be. It was a heavy traffic that day that you immediately went out of the van and tried to run after your letter. Of course, I followed after you. I tried to tell you to stop that we might get lost but you insisted on getting the letter back that I was determined to find it for you. I ran faster than you that you ended up following my lead instead.

“When I did get the letter off the sidewalk where it landed, you were too happy that you didn’t even realize you were standing in the middle of the road. You almost got hit by a truck and you were stuck there. I thought I was relieved that it stopped right on time but… there was a reckless motorcycle coming closer at full speed and the next I knew, you were already thrown off the road with your eyes closed. And I saw all of it. I was scared that maybe you’ll blame everything on me that I didn’t think anymore and just ran away and never looked back.

“I had someone adopt me and my life being Kim Jaebin started. I vowed to never go back really. Unfortunately, they still managed to find me.” She’s staring at the sky now.

“So it was like the second time around, my accident?” You ask without exactly wishing for answers you already know.

She pauses to think. “Kind of… that’s why I’m scared that with this happening all over again and Tao seeing all of it too, he’d just snap and…”

“He won’t do that.” You cut her off. You don’t want to hear it.

“I believe he won’t too but we never really know.” You kind of wondered how she managed to even fall out of love for him. You talked about this earlier and she said that she’s just concerned as an old friend. She doesn’t have reasons to have him back anyway. She’s practically happy with her life as a single woman. You don’t really understand. She’s too pretty for that.

“I still have your letter, you know. Well it’s a bit tattered from old age but it’s still readable.” She chuckles lightly. “I actually wonder about the boy, you know. I mean, did you ever find him after? I heard you were still going to that place almost every time you could.”

“No… he still hasn’t come back.”

“Maybe he does and you just never saw each other?” She suggests that you almost scoff.

“I don’t think so. You know… nevermind.”

“What is it? You can tell me.” She pleads with her doey eyes.

“Well I’ve… I’ve been seeing him in my dreams. And he always seems to be waiting for me. But maybe… that’s just what I want it to be. I mean, I’ve been waiting for him ever since my mind made me remember about such boy in the maple tree. I don’t remember his face. I just… I just hoped for a familiar feeling to rise up.”

She nods and then it’s all silence. It takes all the time for the both of you to take it all in. You only are watching the sky as it slowly gets eaten away by the dawn, the moon fighting for dominance this time.

She takes a deep breath. “I really missed talking to you like this.”

You chuckle at her statement. “Yeah, well… I wouldn’t know the feeling.”

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And I give you an update. ^^
So... this chap was mainly just to explain what really happened before;
to clear some things of the past.
It's a bit hanging for me but it depends on you. :)
Anyway, I hope you get the wider picture now. Haha.