---

You wander off your thoughts as the scenery from the window slowly starts to have its own familiarity. You pull the earplugs from your ears blasting INFINITE songs as the car takes its full turn towards your tall and gigantic gate. Tao’s car is already marked and sealed within your property so it has full access of going in and out of your place. He turns the engine off after he has parked the car in front of your doorstep.  You immediately open the door and step out of it, and so does he.

“So… about last--”

“We’ll talk about it later.” You intervene off. You are not exactly in the mood to talk about it either. It was a good thing it didn’t quite become a big deal last night.

“Oh.” he says as he enters the door after you. “Is anyone around here?” he asks as he turns his head around the place to search for any other human being around.

“It’s Sunday, so we’re probably all alone.” You exclaim as you walk your way upstairs to your room with him a few steps behind. He is carrying all your baggage since you’re still not that stable from the injury. Your cuts hurt again especially because of the fall last Friday.

You open the door of your room and enter it exhaustedly. You decide to just rest on the bean bags for awhile. He places all your things down on the floor beside your long corner table, from the wall parallel to your secret room up to the right side of your door. Silence is engulfing all the four corners of the room. You feel calm yet awkward about it. The memory of you kissing him last night automatically winds up in your head and you quiver by remembering it.

You look at the clock hanging by your wall and instantly understand why you suddenly feel so hungry. It’s an hour until lunch time and you weren’t able to eat breakfast at Luhan’s earlier. You woke up very late since you slept around 3am this morning. Hana’s possible reactions bothered you to bits that you couldn’t sleep well last night. It was a good thing that Kris checked up on you and lulled you to sleep. He knows you too well and you’re very much lucky for that. You’ve always been lucky since you got hit by that certain basketball.

Tao stands up and roams around your room. He stops when he sees interesting things. He looks over the pictures hanging by your wall just above the corner table. The collage of photos pinned to the wall shows a lot of your sides and emotions and people living around you. There is a picture of you and your parents with your lips on a straight, pursed line taken one sunny day. Another was in a winter day where you were grinning widely with a gap between your teeth, along with your brother Kyuhyun, who was still having bits of snow all over his face. Apparently, you were playing snowballs that time. Beside that was a picture of you and Hana both dressed as princesses with tiaras on and you were clearly not amused by it. Hana was showing emotions opposite from yours. She loved it, everyone used to love being princesses when they were kids. A picture of a wild and noisy club with colored lights flashing around the place was pinned next to it, with you, Hana and three other girls smiling with your drinks up. Next was an old photo of you, Kris, Hana and a guy Hana likes with your arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders on a spring day. One was with your grandfather, and another was with your first best friend that’s already gone. The last one makes Tao jolt up from the almost familiarity. He takes the picture off the wall to look closely at it. It was a cute kid, around 5 years old, innocently looking straight through the lenses of the camera. She wasn’t smiling nor was she giving out any emotions at all. Her eyes were as cold as ice, as lifeless as the dead. It was too cruel for a 5-year old’s facade. Even though those eyes usually hurt people looking at it, he feels nothing of the like. He rather feels weird, in an impossibly good way.

You open your eyes and see him standing on the lines of pictures on you wall. You kind of forgot that you had such things in your room. He shouldn’t see those pictures, at least not yet. You immediately stand up from the bean bag and run towards him to stop him from whatever he is doing.

“Yah! Those are private stuffs. Stop looking at my pictures.” You say as you reach him, pushing him away in the process. He didn’t budge though and instead turn his back on you. You look at him intently and realize why he is in such a stance. He is holding a picture of you.

“Is this you?” He asks as he turns around that makes you stop looking at his gaze. He holds the picture right in front of you.

“Why?” You ask in a query. Is the picture not obvious enough? Weird.

“Is it you?” He asks again but you don’t answer. “Answer me.” He says in a dominating tone. You feel the shivers building up your spine. Why is he suddenly getting angry? “Yah!” He shakes you by the shoulder. You got a little out of it seconds ago.

“It’s not me!” You screech with eyes wide open. “Why so queasy?”  You throw him a questioning glare after.

“It’s really not you?” He asks in disbelief as he lets go of your shoulder. “Really, it’s not me.” You answer as you hold up your hands. You take the photo away from his grip. You glue it back to the wall after.

“Who is it then?” He asks still staring at the photo.

“I don’t know. I just found it in the attic.” You stop what you are about to say when you realize he doesn’t need to know what you were doing in the attic. You don’t want to be embarrassed by telling him either. You don’t want him to know that you were acting, playing around by yourself up there. It would be so wrong and eerie.

“Why did you keep it?” He asks. You never knew he could be this nosy sometimes. You didn’t quite care anyway so you answer his question.

“Because the kid is oddly interesting. She looks and dresses like a child, but her eyes expresses otherwise.” You explain to him. It’s been almost 10 years since you took and kept that picture from the attic. It was the same day you went to the Maple Tree. Coincidence.

“She does.” He meekly comments. He got so weird all of a sudden. You don’t like him being all open and helpless. It doesn’t suit him at all. “Don’t you really know who this girl is?” He asks with desperation evident on his voice.

“My mom said she was someone’s daughter… or something like that. I don’t remember. She seemed shock when I asked her about it though. Why are you so curious..?” It’s weird.

“I’ve got nothing else to do; just showing my great acting skills.” He casually says though you believe him not. It is practically way more than that reason, and his actions tell you so.

“What an …” you silently snide off looking the other way.

“Are you hungry?” He asks yet before you could even answer, he holds a tight grip of your wrist and pulls you out of your room.

“Wait… where are we going?” You ask standing right before his car. You are having doubts. He suddenly just walks around his car taunting you to just enter his car too. You don’t want to be left behind after all. You are that hungry. You see a mischievous grin plastered on his face that you are half-wanting to get out instead.

“We’re going on a date.” He smiles at you and ticks the engine handle forward to start off. You are still staring blankly at him with jaws wide open, even when he already turns around the curb out of your house. No one clearly just says that out in the open casually, okay? At least, for you, it shouldn’t be him.

“What is this place exactly?” You ask when you step out of his car into an unfamiliar surroundings. It’s not very inviting for you either since you’re not used to these kinds of places. It’s filled with shops and restaurants, Chinese restaurants. You are actually standing before one. Though you have to admit, unlike the rest, this one is clean… and shockingly livable much for your liking. The lighting outside is adjusted in just the right amount so it’s not hurtful to the eyes.

“It’s a traditional Chinese restaurant. The food here is amazing, trust me.” He says almost with an invisible smile as he pushes you on your back towards the entrance. Someone’s obviously in a good mood.

He pulls a wooden chair and lets you sit on it to push it towards the matching table afterwards. He’s being a gentleman again. He then sits on the chair opposite of yours and calls the waiter for an order. He talks to the waiter as if they were long lost friends. They probably really are, but you couldn’t care. It is 30 minutes after you got on the place when they stopped talking, which they continuously were doing as if you aren’t around. They wouldn’t even have stopped when you didn’t clear your throat to make them realize you are around… and hungry.

“Sorry… I’ll go and prepare the order now.” He bows down multiple times by your angle knowing he is fully at fault. You can’t help but roll eyes and just turn the other way.

“He’s a close friend.” Tao starts as if explaining.

“You wouldn’t have chitchatted that long if he was just a stranger, right?” You sarcastically comment on, not giving out any emotions through your eyes. It’s practically as dead as the picture’s.

“Sorry.” He says not looking everywhere but your eyes. You feel awkward with him staring sincerely at you like that that you look a little on the side instead. “Don’t… look at me like that.” You say as you can still see him piercing right through your soul with his stare. He still continues doing that even so. You give up and wait for your food to be served, in complete silence.

There are many plates of different dishes being placed on your table. You wonder if you could even finish eating all of it. The same guy Tao talked to earlier places the last sweet dish on the table and bows to leave. Their plating is sophisticated enough for you to just go and dig in, but you control yourself.

“Yah! Go on, eat. I know you’re hungry,” he says as he takes pieces of different food and eats happily. He mustn’t have been here for so long. You’re too hungry to still control now so you immediately get the shallow spoon and start eating the wonton, or soup. You slowly take the chopsticks and get a piece of the dumplings after. It tastes so diverse and delicious that you take and gnaw some pieces more. You’re taste buds’ next target is the sweet and sour pork. You missed eating this so much. You’re grandfather used to cook this for you and it has been so long since you last ate one. You start to eat slower than usual that Tao notices. “Uhh… you should try the Chow Mein. It’s scrumptious.” He says as he passes you the whole plate of it.

“Chow Mein..?” You ask.

“Oh right. It’s stir-fried noodles. Here,” He says standing a little bit up himself placing some noodles on your plate. He continues to eat after. Your stomach is slowly becoming full that you decide to eat the spring rolls last. You love how it tastes so sweet and savory. After having a full meal, you just wait for Tao to finish so you can go back home… if that is really where you’re going next.

He signs the waiter for the bill after eating a good amount of food and asks him to wrap the remaining dishes for him to bring home. He leaves the money on top of the tray and you both stand to leave. He waves goodbye to the guy while going out and speaks something in Chinese which you don’t understand. It not knowing things. You buckle up your seatbelt as you prepare to go somewhere Tao plans to go. Hopefully it’s somewhere fun, or just peaceful. He starts to drive away seconds later.

“So how was the food?” He asks not leaving his eyes on the road.

“They were all very tasty.” You say as you smile inwardly from happiness. Happy because your stomach got fully packed after eating such detailed and savory food.

“You wouldn’t mind going somewhere now right?” He asks.

“You’re already taking me there anyway.” You answer as you are also curious where you really are going.

It has been an hour since you started to travel to where this somewhere is when you slowly come about a familiar roadway. In fact, too familiar that it makes your heart beat faster. You turn your head towards the view outside and you aren’t wrong at all. This is the same road you pass through every time you go to the maple tree. He drives further down until you reach a crossroad where somewhere along the rightside road would be where the tree stands. You are so close to standing on your seat. This should not happen. He can’t possibly be--

Then he continues to drive straight further. False Alarm.

You start to calm yourself after. That was close to you having a heart attack. You contemplate on some s over and second guess things while on your seat. He really can’t be the boy. It would just be so off. Besides, you thought, he would’ve remembered you firsthand when he is the boy. But he didn’t.

You open the car’s side window and breathe in the needed fresh air of the somewhat country side. He looks at you questioningly but then shrugs it off. He travels on further for about 10 minutes and comes to a halt just in front of an old, typical countryside house. It’s made of bricks and the walls’ paint is tarnished, almost nothing is left behind. It has a wide front lawn with tall grasses growing, almost covering half of the whole lot. It doesn’t even seem like people are still living in it. It looked already abandoned. He gets out of the car and you follow.

He steps continuously down closing the long gap between him and the tainted house. He seems to be musing over the memories as soft smiles start to curve on from his lips. You don’t have any idea why he would suddenly bring you here. You still aren’t even that intimate to share memories with. Well for you, you are not.

“This was where I used to live.” He starts still walking towards the old house. You just nod even though you know he can’t see you. You are by his back after all. “I didn’t want to leave… but somehow I also had to.” He continues. “I had to leave certain people. I had to leave this home.” He says with his voice almost cracking. Is he crying? Oh damn, I don’t know how to comfort people crying.

“I’m sure there was… uhh… a good reason behind your leaving…” You say trying to ease the mood, walking slower than ever. He reaches the door and turns the knob to go in. Oddly enough, it is open. He enters the ruined house as you are just a few steps behind.

“This used to be the happiest place when I was a kid…” He mumbles tilting the photo frames back to its original position on the walls. “Now it’s just full of regrets.” He turns to leave and you both reach the dull living room.

“Why are you telling me all this again…?” You ask meekly not wanting to point out any nerve.

“I don’t know. I guess… as my fiancé… you should know.” He casually says that would’ve made you choke if only you are drinking something. You just nod out of habit. Right.

“My grandmother…” He shakily says, “She died because she chose to stay… I could have helped her if I stayed. It’s my entire fault.” No. I didn’t know he was also in this situation. He keeps on weeping silently though some snorts still come out. He’s getting emotional. You can hear his heavy breathing clearly. You don’t want to hear them. It breaks your heart as much as it breaks his. His palms found their way to his eyes, wiping off the tears cascading down his face. You can’t see him, but you can feel his pain, his longing. You didn’t even believe he was a crybaby before. I was wrong.

“Yah… it’s…” You are pondering whether to say it is okay since you both know it isn’t. Losing an important person in your life hurts as hell. Your sentence then just trails off on its own. You are behind him with his back you as he decides to just stand on the corner where something big is being covered up on. He’s still crying.

“I miss her. I want her back… I…” you hesitate on what you’d do next but his shoulders are shaking that you couldn’t help it anymore. You run your way towards his back closing the few inches distance between you two. You throw your arms around him just a little above his waistline since he’s so tall and you are just wearing sneakers. You hold your other wrist as you fully wrap yourself around him with your face on his back, almost snuggling with him. You are back-hugging him. You squeeze him letting him know you’re just around.

“D-don’t cry… please don’t cry.” You murmur as you hold on him tight. Kris always just hugs you whenever you feel sad. You think that it would be the same like this. That at least, even for the slightest bit, you lessen the evident pain.

His hands are dangling straight by his sides as you stay like that for a longer while. When he has recovered from the painful memories, he slowly raises his hands up to your hands and holds them softly, turning around facing you as he unclasps your tight hold.

He looks at you with heartrending eyes as he leans down towards you. You can’t help but look back at those sparkling pair of orbs. He hugs you instead, this time squeezing you back with twice the intensity you used on him. You wrap your free arms around him to return the hug. He rests his chin on your right shoulder with his eyes closed. Your lungs go up and down together in a rhythm, familiarizing each other. You can feel him breathing by your neck. It tickles you.

“Thank you.” He whispers giving chills up to your spine like never before.

---

You drive back home an hour later. You fell asleep in his car while on the road. He quickly carries you up from the passenger seat and places you down slowly on the cushions of the living room. He takes a blanket from your room and covers you fully up to your neck. You are sleeping soundly and he doesn’t want to disturb you.

He sits down on the tiled floor in a pretzel, leveling his head in front of your face. He just stares at you, recognizing every sleek corner of your face, and your long eyelashes fluttering as you dream in your sleep. He’s too engrossed on looking at how peaceful you are when asleep that he didn’t hear someone arrive.

“Jae Min I know I’m late but I--” The voice stops. Tao turns his head that way seeing two big, dumfounded eyes and a mouth wide open. Not again…