I need answers. Do I really love Luhan? If yes, what is happening to me? If no, why did I answer him yes in the first place? Maybe I have to distance myself from him to clear my thoughts. I don’t want to break his heart. He is such a nice kid after all. I am so confused right now. But there is something in him that hinders me from loving him to the fullness of my ability. Maybe I just don’t love him after all. Maybe, he’s just another fling after Kris.

Kris. We’re getting comfortable with each other nowadays. I even get in so much trouble because of him. Is it worth it? It’s good that we’re closer right now. But Luhan doesn’t want us to be closer. He was afraid that Kris will take me away from him.

“What’s up?” that deep voice sounded all over and my heart beat eagerly. This kind of feelings whenever he’s around is always there.

“I’m fine.” I said.

“You seem to be thinking about Me.” he smirked.

“Aniyo!” I said. But I swear I felt my blood rise up to my cheeks.

“Let’s dance.” He said and he grabbed my hand and we went to the dance floor along with everybody else. It is an early Halloween party organized by our company. Loud music echoing everywhere, neon lights flickered in the dark hall. I preferred to be lonely until Kris joined me.

Kris and I danced in the center of the floor. But in less than a minute, the music was replaced by a slow, romantic song. Some girls giggled at the sudden change. Kris and I just stood there, dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. The others already paired up with their love interests.

“We had no choice, do we?” Kris said before his hands landed on my waist. I blushed at his sudden contact. I had no choice but to wrap my arms on his neck. Good thing I wore high heels now.

“This is your entire fault. If we hadn’t danced here in the center, we could easily get away with this.” I hissed.

“Haha! Don’t you want to slow dance with me?”

I can’t answer that question. We slow danced in silence as I look around us, observing the others. I saw Tiffany with Siwon oppa. Then I saw Hyoyeon with Kai. Woah! This is something new… Then I saw Luhan with Yoona. I stared at them for a while. They are happy with each other.

“Are you jealous?” Kris broke the silence between us.

“Ani.” I said truthfully. No emotions surged through me as I watch them. No jealousy. In fact, I think they would make a cute couple.

“Soonkyu…” Kris’s voice again. That deep and cold voice that always call me the same way.

“Hmm?” I looked at his eyes. They are the usual beautiful eyes that I used to lock stares with. Those orbs that I used to play with. Those orbs that I knew so well.

“I still love you.” He said.

I dropped my gaze. I let go of the embrace and walked out. But he followed me. I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to punch his face. I wanted to curse every single curse I know. I hate him so much! Why did he break up with me in the first place?! If he still loves me, why did he let Luhan get me? And why is he telling me all these things when it’s too late?!

I left the party, and went to the rooftop. I thought that Kris stopped following me but he joined me in the elevator. I didn’t look at him while we’re inside. I was hoping that maybe somebody was in the rooftop who I can talk to. But there was no one. I turned around, only to be hugged by him. Tears flowed through my eyes.

“I hate you!” I said, trying to break through his arms.

“The mere fact that you’re telling that means you still love me.” he said.

“Why are you making my life difficult?!” I finally broke off his arms and took a few steps away from him.

“I’m making it easier. I know you don’t love Luhan.” A few steps closer to me.

“How dare you?!” I walked backwards, only to be tripped by a stone. I felt the gravity take over my body until he caught me halfway. He straightened up and I found myself trapped in his arms again.

“Break up with him. I need you Soonkyu. Stay with me.”

“Liar.” Our eyes gazed at each other’s.

Then, his lips crashed with mine. The lips that I had missed for such a long time. The lips that I wanted all this time. We shared a hot, steamy, passionate kiss. A kiss that I’ve been wanting for so long. The same kiss that haunts me every time. That kiss that I wanted.

“Sunny? Kris?” the kiss was interrupted by a voice. We turned our heads to the voice and found my boyfriend.

He was shocked, as well as Kris and I. I pushed Kris away from me. I ran to Luhan who was now descending through the stairs. I managed to catch up with him. I grabbed his arm but he won’t stop.

“Luhan, please don’t do this!” I called at him.

“What do you expect of me?! Keep calm when my girlfriend is in the arms of my friend?!” He stopped.

“We’re not even doing anything! That was an accident!”

“An accident?! Never seen such accidents in my whole life!”

“Oh, please! He is just a friend!”

“He is your ing ex-boyfriend, if you can recall!”

“What happened between us was over, Luhan! Stop being childish!”

“Childish?! It was you who’s childish! You’re making out with him! I saw it in my two eyes!”

“Luhan! Why don’t you understand?!”

“I am jealous, Sunny! That, you don’t understand! I don’t want to see you with him!”

“ that , Luhan! Kris and I were over. Way too over each other. I hope you knew that.”

“Your eyes tell otherwise! I can see in your eyes that it was him who you wanted! And why would you kiss him if you were over him?!?!”

“Stop it, Luhan!”

“I’m right, aren’t I? You still want him even though you have me!”

“I said stop it!”

A sharp stinging pain landed on my cheek. He slapped me. Tears instantly flowed through my eyes. I looked at him, while holding my cheek. He was shaken at what he did.

And it rang a bell. I don’t love Luhan. I never loved him. He can never compare to the perfection Kris gave me. Luhan is sweet and all, but he’s overprotective. I also have my rights to question him in his life about all the other girls that he looks to but it’s always me. It’s always me when we argue. It’s always my fault. As if I never had done anything right.

“I… I’m sorry Sunny. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He said, and he was about to hug me. But I pushed him.

“The reason why I still can’t love you is that you’re arrogant, cruel, and selfish.” Words came out of me naturally.

“I-I didn’t mean it, Sunny… I-I’m sorry.” He approached me. But I stepped back.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you anymore. We’re over.” I said.

I left him and went back to the Halloween party. I brushed my tears away as I walked. When I got there, I distanced myself from Kris who’s now talking with Tao. I approached Hyoyeon but as soon as I got close to her, our manager grabbed us and we went to Kris and Tao for some pictures. Our manager took some pictures. He said that SNSD will help EXO for popularity. Our pictures will be uploaded online for the fans. Nice SMEnt strategy.

I asked permission from Taeyeon if I can go back to the dorm. She asked why but I shrugged it off. She allowed me anyway. I went back to the dorm as my tears flowed down endlessly. I can’t believe what just happened today. Luhan saw me kissing Kris. He must be really heart broken. But I broke up with him instead of making up with him. I’m such a bad girl.

I turned off my phone so that no one can contact me for tonight. I just want to rest.

a/n: the fire that broke SunHan apart... sometimes I feel bad for making Sunny have so many boys in this fic. lol. that's the last appearance of Luhan here (I guess)
how was it? tell me!!! It's really hard for me to review what I wrote... I think it's all crap.. T.T
anywayyy, Merry Christmas! :)) I hope you have a wonderful KRISmas this year~
I have a present for all of you! A SunKris oneshot! :) I hope you will like it~ ^^