SNSD made a comeback. As expected, she would not have time for me. I could only text her messages because she wouldn’t answer my calls. Sometimes, she would text me back, oftentimes, she would not. As EXO is preparing for our own comeback, I also do not have time for her. We fly to and fro China. Sometimes, we would see each other in the SM Building. But it would just be some brief greetings and short messages.

It was not until we both had free days when we can be together. I was sleeping when she came. “Jagiya~” her sweet voice echoed through my ear. I felt her body leaning over mine. I opened my eyes and found her smiling at me. “Wake up, honey!” she cheered. She was able to pull me up and dragged me to the bathroom to wash.

When I got out of the bathroom, I found her joking around with my brothers while eating snacks. I joined them and sat beside her.

“Jagiya, are you hungry?” she asked. “I brought coffee and donuts for you guys.”

“Thank you, noona.”

“Yah! Don’t call me that!” she exclaimed. I laughed. She’s so freaking cute even though she’s not trying to.

“What are we doing today?” I asked as I put my arm around her shoulder.

“You’ll accompany me to the doctor. Then, we can go to the mall if you want. But since there—“

“Wait. Doctor? Are you sick?” I asked. I put down the cup of coffee I’m holding and tried to feel her forehead.

“Maybe noona’s pregnant.” Xiumin mused. Then the boys laughed.

“Ani! I just have to consult something.” She said. I saw her face reddened at the joke. “Yah! We’re not even doing anything!”

“Mian, noona!” Xiumin said.

“Noona, can you sign my I Got a Boy album?” Lay suddenly said. From then, the topic was changed and it’s all about our career. But the thought of going to the doctor bothered me. Something inside me tells that this isn’t good.

It was not until we were about to leave when I asked about it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I don’t know… But we’ll know soon.” She said.

“What are you feeling?” I held her hand.

“Nothing serious.” She said.

Sunny

I thought about it quite thoroughly. And I was right. I am sick. The doctor said that it can’t be cured. Though the stage isn’t crucial yet, it would be soon. Though there are some medicine that can help, I will still be a burden soon enough.

“What did she say?” Kris asked as soon as I got out of the doctor’s clinic.

I don’t know how you managed to survive that accident, but surely it still have a disadvantage. Your condition is very rare. When did you first forget a memory? If that’s the case, you’re still strong. Whatever is keeping you alive, it’s doing its job. You should tell your loved ones of this soon. They can help. Maybe, you can get away with this. If successful, everything will be normal. If not, later, you would have to quit Girls’ Generation. I don’t know how to start it. I don’t know how to tell him. And it’s hard.

“Nothing serious.” I said and started walking.

“Don’t lie to me.” he said, blocking my way.

“Let’s go somewhere else now! We still have twelve hours before our day ends!” I beamed.

“Arasseo. I want to take you to Busan.”

“Busan? That’s far from here.”

“I know it’s pretty far, but I managed to get tickets.”

We took the train to the province. Kris slept the whole time. I smiled at my beautiful boyfriend. His hobby only made him so cute. While we’re in it, I tried to think about my condition. I plotted plans on how I would tell Kris what’s on my mind. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I was planning to quit everything and go to America and leave everyone for good. I don’t want them to bother hurting when I die. I just want to slip away from them peacefully.

It’s a three-hour transport. Kris and I took a bus to get to the location we’re going. It’s a bit far from the station but the place is very beautiful. I always loved the countryside. Soon we get off the bus and started walking hand in hand. We came to a beachside.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful.” I said. The ocean is calm and blue. It’s so beautiful. And the wind is so cool. A little far from the beach was an unfinished construction. I wonder who bought that land.

“I’m glad you liked it. This is going to be our home address when we get married.” He said. I looked at him. He’s looking at the sea. “What do you think?”

“You’re kidding, right?” I tried to act coolly. But deep inside, my heart is thumping so crazily.

“Am not. See that construction?” he pointed to the unfinished construction I just saw. “That’s where our home will be. Though it’s not yet done because of some financial problems. But I swear it will be beautiful.”

“Kris.”

“Can you picture our kids playing around over there?” he pointed to the beach. “Then we will be watching from the balcony. Then our friends will come over along with their own kids…” he hugged me from the back.

“Kris.” I whispered.

Tears welled up my eyes. It hurts because I can picture all those things in my mind. But I won’t be able to witness those things. I will be no more when that time comes. When that time comes, there probably won’t be any children’s laughter. Probably, the construction would remain unfinished.

“What’s wrong, honey?” he turned me around and let me cry on his chest. “Don’t you like it?” he hugged me so tight.

“Nothing… I love it… So much.” I said.

“I’m glad you loved it. Do you want to take a look?” he held my hand and we walked to the construction.

Kris was telling me about the things that he wanted when the time comes for finishing. Everything is concrete. The foundation was already laid. The posts were already standing so firmly. The walls, too. The second floor was already made, too. We climbed up to the second floor.

“Why is it so big?” I asked.

“We’ll have five children; of course it should be big. Have you forgotten?” He said.

“Oh. Right. I forgot.” I said. And I know this can’t go on.

Kris

“It’s been five years since that accident.” I said. We were sitting along the concrete steps facing the beach. The sun is just setting. She told me the about her condition. She told me of her plans.

“I’m starting to forget things just now, Kris. That’s why I went to the doctor. She said that my condition is very rare. I think it’s not yet fatal. But I’m going to die. I don’t want to hurt you soon.” She said.

“Sunny. I don’t understand. It’s been that long. There must be a mistake!”

“I’ve been thinking about it thoroughly.” She stood up.

“Please, reconsider, Sunny. I know you can make it.” I stood up, too, and held her by her shoulders.

“I had thought about it. My decision is final. I will quit everything and move out of Korea.”

“When are you planning to leave?”

“When SNSD go on hiatus.”

“Stay with me, Sunny. Please. You will never be a burden to me. I love you. I will die if you leave me. Stay with me, Lee Soonkyu.”

“I can’t.”

“Why? You can stay with me. I will quit EXO, too. We can live here. We can live peacefully. I will take care of you.” I said.

“That is why! I don’t want you to be involved in this.”

“I will always be involved! We’re in this together.”

“No, Kris! I don’t want you in my life anymore! You’ll sacrifice everything! You’ll destroy your life!”

“I don’t care!”

“I will die, Kris!”

“Don’t say that!” I pulled her to me. I hugged her tightly. I don’t want to let go of her. “I don’t care if you’re sick. I don’t believe that you’ll die. I will stay with you forever. I know that we can make through it against all odds.”

“You’re crazy!”

“I am always crazy for you!”

“Kris, this is not a fairy tale. We are star-crossed lovers. No matter how hard we try to be, there will always be something against us. Fate does not permit us. We have dramas, tears, and heartbreaks. Lots of them.”

“You’re wrong.”

I leaned in for a kiss. She can’t help but to kiss me back. We were silent as we took the train to Seoul. I accompanied her back to their dorm.

“Kris, I made up my mind. I don’t want to hurt you. If you really love me, you will approve of it.” She said.

“Ani. If you love me, you wouldn’t leave me.”

I kissed her good night before she went inside her dorm. Silently, I walked back to our dorm. We have another schedule for tomorrow. As I’m walking, I thought about her condition. When she had that accident, she forgot everything about me. Right now, she is losing fragments of her memories. She’s hypothesizing that sooner or later, she will lose more memories.

Whatever her condition is, I will not let her go away. Even if it meant sacrificing everything.

Hastily, I brought out my phone. I took a deep breath before pressing the call button. Lee Soonkyu, I will never let you go. I pressed the green button. “Taeyeon noona, can you help me?”

a/n: oh no, I am an evil writer~ I just gave Sunny fictious disease! idk, this is supposed to be angst ;~; but I wanted happy ending! that happens, right? o.O but now, omg, i don't know what to do~ i'm torn between happy & sad endings..
gahhd, I thought I'd be able to finish this until the end of my Christmas break. but it seems that I'd be extending my deadline again. lol. Advanced Happy New Year everybody!~ can't wait for SNSD's comeback! asdfghjkl
hours to go before Super Junior's Sungmin's birthday~! he's my bias! ^^