“Kalyn! Look!” Sherry dragged me over to a display of hair clips. “Aren’t these beautiful?”

I picked up a barrette, but its striped design wasn’t my taste. “Sure.” I shrugged.

Yinna laughed. “Either Kalyn is being sarcastic, Sherry, or she is better at haggling than you are.”

“Oh yeah?” Sherry went to seek out the shopkeeper and proceeded to argue over the price.

Yinna stepped closer to me. “Look, aren’t they cute?” She nudged her head to our left.

I glanced over at the phone charm stall nearby. “Yeah they are, but I’ve already got a charm from the Shanghai expo on my phone-“

“No, not the phone charms silly. Them!” Yinna positioned me until I saw the group of boys walking by.

“Oh.” I felt my face heat up a little, but I proceeded to give them a thorough look before I turned back. “They’re okay. I guess.”

“You guess?” Yinna smiled. “You know, those were the guys the girls at our school were cooing over before Tao arrived. I bet most of them are relieved the attention is off of them now, not all.”

“Hmph.” Why did she constantly bring him up? I took a second glance. They did have more attractive looks than most people, but honestly that’s all they were. It was like gazing at a catalog and seeing beautiful models, but nothing more.

Were people like that to me? Only pictures, with no stories behind them?

Was I really that heartless?

Tears came to my eyes as realization dawned on me. Of course, that’s what I had become. I had been so selfish, trying to protect myself and others, then I hadn’t let myself live. I hadn’t loved freely the way people did with me. Everyone took risks in life-then why wasn’t I letting myself do that?

The fear of pain and destruction had ruled me these past few years. But everything in this world was fragile, and there was nothing I could do to prevent that. It was time I dealt with my own fears instead of cowering in the corner, pretending that everything could go away.

It was time to be normal.

What did the grandmother say? 

Be like the sun at midday... My heart did feel lighter now. Was I going to make myself the person I want to be based on my past or the present? If I wanted people to stop judging where I came from and instead where I wanted to be, I had to first judge myself that way.

But I had two fortunes...it furthers one to appoint helpers...

“Yinna?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think?” I displayed a set of hair-sticks I just bought.

“Nice!” She gave me a smile of approval. “How much?”

“Twenty.”

She whistled. “Sherry, look at this! Kalyn got it for only twenty RMB.”

“You are kidding me!” Sherry exclaimed as she came over and examined my purchase.

“I kid you not. What do you guys think?"

She took a stick from the box and held it up to my face. "It'll definitely look good with your amber eyes and dark hair."

"Only if my hair was thick and long as yours."

"No, you do NOT want hair like me!" Sherry exclaimed. "Sure, it's nice to have full hair, but when you try to put it up it's a disaster. The very worst thing you could do with my hair is hairsticks. I had to wrap my hair around the stick twice when my hair was only shoulder length, and then the bun is so huge I can barely slide the stick underneath it to secure it to my scalp."

"Okay, okay." I held my hand out to tell her to stop. "I got the point. Let's not waste our time arguing, since you have to go to your job soon."

"Right."

After another twenty minutes, Sherry announced she had to go. I walked with Yinna back to her house.

"Did you make your decision?" She asked softly.

"Yeah...I think I'm going to try. To be strong, I mean, and to walk forward instead of looking back."

She smiled and held out her arms. After a split second, I realized her intentions and walked forward to accept her embrace. "That's the spirit, Kalyn."

"Thanks." Suddenly my mouth was dry. "I...I'll let you know how it goes."

"Don't be afraid to call me if you need someone to talk to, okay?"

"Okay." I waved and she went inside.

I tucked my bag into my pocket. It was getting dark outside, and I've lost my stuff more than once in the evening. As I walked to the nearest subway station, I wondered how EXO was doing. Were they promoting in Korea? Were they practicing and eating dinner with EXO-K right now? Maybe they were-

At that moment, something covered my mouth. I turned but found myself unable to move as someone held my arms in a rigid grip.

"NO!" came out my muffled scream as everything went black.

[A/N] Sorry I haven't been updating, but over winter break my computer started crashing. That's why this isn't edited becase everything was typed up online and the small words make my head hurt. -.- 

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great holidays, and hey look, 2013! Anyone else excited for Break Down? I'm SPAZZTASTIC, even if it means EXO's comeback was later than expected ^_^

Hopefully my computer gets its act together soon and I can start writing more often. Again, sorry! OTL