Review
EXONE: The Minor Forces-The Oracle of Fear
Hi guys! Sorry, not a new chapter yet, I'm working on it >.< But school just started for me, I finally got a beta (more about that later) so it's going to take awhile >.<
I'm also new to the whole review/poster credit thing, sorry my reviewers >.< BUT here's the link if you want to see it
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/218685/114/
Let me see if I can copy the page, but yes you should go there if you want awesome reviews/posters. Honestly, it's all goodness there. Yeah it's busy, but the work you see is worth it.
BUT ANYWAY LET'S SEE IF I CAN GET IT GOING!
EXONE: The Minor Forces- The Oracle of Fear by aznawzmao
Reviewed by Kakurine039
Title: (5/5)
My first thought when I glanced at the title, “That’s a pretty long title…” However, after I actually read it, I kind of spazzed out for a sec. I mean, the title is long, but in a good way. It sounds like the perfect title for a long game, movie, or an extremely long chaptered book like Harry Potter.
The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; Scott Pilgrim vs. the World; The Interview with a Vampire; Star Ocean: Till the End of Time; EXONE: The Minor Forces- The Oracle of Fear.
See? It totally fits.
I have yet to see what the titles has to do with the story, but i'm one of those people who doesn't really care about them. If they look cool and they catch my attention, i could care less if it was related to the story.
Foreword/Description: (5/10)
The description really caught my attention. It was exceedingly good. My only problem is that it doesn’t really seem like a description. It’s more of a foreword because it’s from the main character’s view point. The description is where you describe the story the readers are about to read.
Okay, the foreword… At first I thought it was an author’s note. And if it is, I should be at the bottom of the description section. But if it’s not, then that’s a really good foreword. I can’t tell if it’s your thoughts as an author or the character’s thoughts as… a… character.
Appearance: (4/5)
The poster is really interesting. I like the overlays, textures, and fonts that were used. Is that Tao on the left–I haven’t committed to what each of the EXO members look like–? He looks kind of creepy, but in a good way. Is there a good way to look creepy?
The background is okay. Besides the yin-yang symbol, it doesn’t totally match the poster. However, I can tell the Yin Yang symbol is like a like a motif for this story, right? I keep seeing it everywhere.
The overall appearance of the story seems generally fine.
Plot: (15/15)
The earthquake, the shivers, forced to live in a new environment. I’ve never read plot events like these before.
Originality: (13/15)
The only thing I would say that is not original is that the main character is living with EXO-M. Everything else is, though.
Grammar and Spelling: (18/20)
In all honesty, your grammar and spelling is great. You have a few mistakes her and there, but overall, it’s good. All I can say is that you should watch out for those comma splices and run-ons.
Characterization: (9/10)
It’s too soon to really see any characterizations on EXO, but for the OC, you’ve done a good job. I like how you don’t have the clichéd OC who is perfect at everything, has a million friends, all the guys fall for her… Your OC doesn’t like to stand out, is okay in school, and appears to not have many friends… Excellent characterization in my opinion.
Flow: (10/10)
You have a good pace. It’s not too fast, and it’s not too slow. Each chapter isn’t super short or super, super long.
In your note, you wanted me to talk about your writing style. This rubric doesn’t have one, so I’ll just talk about it here.
Most authors go straight into the story and expect us to know exactly what everyone looks like. Unfortunately, you’re kind of one of those type of writers it seems so far. I mean, you’re great with detail. I was able to picture the earthquake perfectly. But I just don’t really know what the OC looks like. I know you have the poster with her on it, but it’s best if you describe her in the story. Same thing goes for EXO. I have absolutely no clue what none of them look like. I like their music videos/songs, and I’ve seen pictures, but I don’t really know who is who. I can kind of point out majority of EXO-K, but only Minseok, Tao, and Kris from EXO-M are the ones I can sometimes point out.
Overall Enjoyment: (10/10)
I’m not too big on OCxIdol stories, but yours, in my opinion, is really interesting. I’ll look forward to future chapters since I’ve subscribed.
Total: 89/100
Kakurine039's Note:
Keep up the good work. I honestly don't get why you have so little subscribers. You're one of those EXO writers that doesn't use the same cliched plot and events.
Thanks so much Kakurine039, if you're reading this! I'm sorry I didn't post this earlier >.< GAH SO CLOSE TO 90 OTL
But yeah, as you can see I have a long way to go, and I should look at this more often to remind myself of her advice. But your comments mean a lot to me too! Especially since you guys barely comment >.<
BUT MORE NEWS! If you have problems on perfecting your story (like me >.<) you should check out I'd Like to Buy a Beta, I just got a beta there AND I'm an intern. Hopefully it all goes well, and sorry for the shameless promoting, but honestly I didn't there were such things as betas until I saw MusicChibi create that beta-shop.
Anyway, I hope to see you all soon! I was going to say I better, but that would be promising too much, right? Haha XD
See ya~
Comments