I sank down into a seat on the bus, sighing as the weight of my bag was finally taken off my shoulder on to the chair. It was apparent that I would have to take two textbooks back and forth every day for school, as was expected for that class. Too bad there was no place to put them for the half of the day I didn’t need them. As I closed my eyes, I wished I had the locker I had at my former school.

There were a lot of things I wanted from my former school, but there were things that I had wished to forget. I had done a good job of stashing them into dark crevices of my mind and ignoring them before, but now they all came back at my most vulnerable moment. One thing I didn’t have back home were friends. I used to wonder why I was so lonely, why I was so handicapped in that area. Now I knew why.

“If you need a locker, you can have mine.”

I opened my eyes to look at up at Tao, who was standing beside me. The bus was full due to the afternoon rush, so there were no other seats. “I barely use it anyway. I’ll show it to you tomorrow and give you the combination if you want it.” He glanced over at my bulging backpack.

My cheeks flamed in embarrassment. Great, now he thought I was a weak girl who wasn’t capable of living without help. “...that’s nice of you to offer.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So do you want it?”

“Sure. I mean, yes, I do. Thank you.”

“No problem.” He looked to the front of the bus again.

I looked down at my hands. The E of the EXONE ring was peeking out of my sleeve. I moved it back underneath my arm, wishing that life didn’t have to be so hard. Could I really blame everything on EXO? Then again, without EXO, my cousin wouldn’t be back in China. I would still be stuck in Shen Ling, and I would have to repeat a whole year of school.

My vision started to swirl. I blinked. Was I crying? I closed my eyes, waiting for the warmth of tears to come.

Instead, a blurry image became clearer every second. I was looking through a bus window and a red car was driving right to the bus. It kept accelerating, the crunch of metal-

I opened my eyes, my heart pounding. I looked over to the window to see that we were approaching the street in my vision. There wasn’t a car in sight.

I breathed out, trying to calm down. Was I going crazy, envisioning things that weren’t even going to be true? But then my heart stopped.

The red car was now in view, and heading my way.

I jumped out of my seat, slinging the bag on my shoulder. Immediately a few people moved over to take it. “NO! Don’t sit down!” I cried, trying to shoo them away with my hands.

“Kalyn, what are you doing?” Tao asked, alarmed as I bumped into him, trying to keep people away.

I opened my mouth to respond, but it was too late. CRUNCH. BANG. I looked back to see that a huge dent appeared next to where I was sitting, cracking the plastic seat. The bus started moving sideways. I tried to keep my balance, but I fell into Tao anyway. Women started screaming.

The bus started to tip over. I started to slide, but Tao wrapped his arm around me, holding me in a tight grip. By reflex I slung an arm around him and held on tight as he balanced himself on his feet while still holding onto the bar. His warm touch and close proximity made me slightly uncomfortable, and I thanked any higher being that none of our classmates was seeing this.

The bus rocked back. I glanced over to see the veins in his hands bulging, as he strained to keep up us upright.

Finally the bus stopped moving. Suddenly people started shouting “Get out! Quick! Evacuate!” I grabbed Tao’s hand and led him to the nearest exit.

Police had started rounding the survivors. I looked at Tao in terror. Were we going to be interrogated? I couldn’t stand another confrontation, another report. I already had a reputation at school, I couldn’t risk one outside.

He must have noticed the panic in my eyes, because then all noise stopped as everything went still. All I could hear was the blood pounding my ears and our footsteps as we ran away from the scene.

Finally we were a good distance when I let go of his hand and stopped. I turned to see Tao wince and grab his stomach. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it’s just my waist…” He winced and stumbled.

I caught him and helped him to stand on his own feet again. I took his arm and put it over my shoulders so I was his crutch. It didn’t help that I was a head shorter. “Sorry, that’s the best I can do. I wish I was taller so you wouldn’t have to bend down.” Standing next to him, I could feel the unevenness of the bandages around his waist as our sides touched.

“It’s okay. I’ll recover eventually.” He took a step forward, so I followed. He looked at me. “Are you crying?”

I touched my face to find paths of tears on my cheeks. I sniffed and tried to laugh. “It’s nothing.”

“No it’s not.”

“I’m just tired and overwhelmed.” I looked away, shame filling me up inside. This was the second time I had let Tao see me as a weak girl. I didn’t want his pity.

Tao’s hand reached over and lifted up my chin, making me look at him. “Kalyn, I may have a different life than everyone else, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

Fury washed over me as I swiped his hand away from my chin. “Do you think everyone treats you differently because you’re part of EXO? Well, I’ve got news for you, I don’t care if millions girls are dying to even hear you talk in person or if you have millions of nuclear weapons. I’m going to judge you the same way I judge everyone else. I’m not going to give you any bias that other people may give you.”

“And I’m doing the same,” he shot back, his eyes blazing. “Do you think I don’t realize when someone is going through a hard time? You’re holding something back from everyone, but you’re also pushing everyone away when they try to help you.”

I kept his gaze although his words slowly made me crumble in defeat. Was I really that way to everyone? I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Fine.” He moved my hand off his shoulder and started walking without my help.

“Hey! Aren’t you hurt-“

“I’m fine,” he brushed me off.

“But-”

 He turned around and looked at me. “You want to be a person who is trusted, but you first have to trust yourself.”

As he started walking away, I couldn’t help but stare at him for a few more seconds. Was that really my problem? That I was pushing away everyone? More tears ran down my face. I wanted people at my side, but…

“Hey, are you coming or not?”

I blinked and went to catch up with Tao. I didn’t know the city as well as he did.

I guess I don’t know myself as well as he does either. 

[A/N] You guys know I love you all as readers, right?

I know sometimes it seems like I don't appreciate you guys enough, but I do. School and drama wears me down a lot, but you're all there for me. It's nice to know that I'm not the only who loves words as they paint a journey.

At least I try in here.

I would totally give you another tumblr spam except for the fact my mother is hounding me over work and such. Which is also why I don't have a chap pic. Sorry. I'll try to make it up to you around Thanksgiving hopefully.

I hope you guys all have a happy and safe Halloween! (Safe since a hurricane is coming over to where I live around today >.<)