I don't know if a warning applies here... but warning, serious ish ness? 

I should feel happy that Wooyoung was about to tell me his history with Eunjung. I have been itching to know for forever. Yet, how can I when he had that kind of look on his face?

A faraway look filled with such fear and sadness.

“Just promise me something Jieun.” I nodded quickly.

“Anything Wooyoung.”

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “Promise me that…” he opened his eyes, a serious look on his face. “You won’t hate me, and that you won’t treat me any different.”

Raising my right hand, I gave a small smile trying to comfort him. “I promise Wooyoung.” On the inside, I’m frowning; it’s so troubling for him to think I could ever hate him. I can’t.

“Well…” he laughed, a laugh meant to mock himself. “Where do I even begin?”

It was a rhetorical question, but seeing his given state I answered. “From where ever you see fit.”

Wooyoung sighed.

The feeling I’m feeling, it’s hard to describe. It’s so… I don’t know. He just seems so… out of it. It just… sigh. Whatever the history is, it must be serious...

Maybe he isn’t completely ready to tell me. “Wooyoung, never mind, just-”

“NO.” he screamed; his eyes are wide, his whole body looks panicky. “I’ve already started thinking about it… I can’t just stop, I can’t.” he said it to himself, not to me. My hand grabbed his, and I pulled him; I pulled him into a hug.

All of his feelings are mixed together; it’s a really… scary combination. Not as in screaming for your life scary, it’s an I’m worried for my best friend scary.

Squeezing him tight, I whispered to him.

“Wooyoung, calm down, I promised remember?” I felt him nod, so I let go.

He took another deep breath. “Well I’ll start simple. Eunjung and I use to date.” His voice is soft and weak. I expected that the two dated. “And you know how my mom… well you know,” I nodded slowly. “So to get away from her, I’d always go over to her house because you know… I loved her.” Numbness overcame me, that last line hurt me somehow. “And one day… it was just really bad. My mom…” he paused, squeezing my hand. “She threw a picture of my dad at me.” I squeezed back; he looks as though he will cry at any moment. “And I got a huge cut right-” —he put my hand onto his chest—“here. So I asked her to check it… which meant I had to take off my shirt… and things kind of escalated from there.” His voice was bitter but still sad as he said that.

My eyes widened a bit.  “Do you mean that you…”  My mouth stopped moving.

Wooyoung looked straight into my eyes. “Yeah.”

I sat there. What do I even say to that? Never in my mind did I think that Wooyoung wouldn’t be a… . It never ever would’ve crossed my mind that he isn’t… I mean, of course I would assume that he would still be… innocent.

My eyes couldn’t meet his. It hurt me that- Wait no. This shouldn’t affect me this much! No. It shouldn’t really affect me at all!

“Jieun?” his voice sounded broken. “Y-You promised remember?” my head snapped up.

Everything in me just… sank. “W-Wooyoung…”

He’s crying.

“Wooyoung… please… I don’t hate you. I don’t.” I whispered to him. I need to learn to not, not look at him. He always seems to think negatively when I do. “So please stop crying.” I started to tear up myself, so I bit my lip.

He started to breathe loudly, eventually the tears stopped flowing. But I know they can come back. He continued his story like nothing happened.

“We didn’t use protection.” His voice is now soft and cold; but also weak and broken. “So she…”

I stood up in shock. “She got pregnant!?” I bit the inside of my cheek, I overacted. This is probably why his mom thought he got me pregnant…

Wooyoung nodded, his eyes filled with so much emotion.

Endless thoughts ran through my head.

Is that why he hates Eunjung? Did he tell her to leave him alone because she got pregnant? No, Wooyoung isn’t like that… right?
NO, he isn’t Jieun, don’t even think like that! Wooyoung is not that type of guy. He wouldn’t do that. No matter how much he hates her, he would never do that.

My thoughts stopped. He was about to cry again. The sunken things in me broke. It just… he’s just… it hurts. He looks so broken.

“I didn’t leave her.” I cringed, was I that obvious? “The two of us planned on taking care of the baby.” He smiled, it was bitter yet sad.

His story took a pause; he was waiting for me to react. “So what happened?”

“It was about the end of the second month, nearing the third…” his voice shook violently. “She told me that she miscarried.” He laughed. “That’s what she told me Jieun! At first I was mad, like any person would be, but I loved her, so of course I forgave her.” He said that with so much… exaggeration. Especially on the word ‘loved’.

“Did she really miscarry?” I asked.

Tears started to come out again, making me feel useless. “Nope! That’s the funny part. Haha, she got an abortion Jieun!” my blood went cold. “She lied to me.” He laughed again.  

No thoughts enter my head; no words came out from my mouth. I sat there, completely shell shocked. Before, I had thought that maybe it was something serious, but not this serious, maybe that she cheated on him with one of his close friends…
But for the reason for his hatred to be that she aborted their baby…

Abortion is illegal after the first 24 weeks or something like that… but even then, she shouldn’t have done that. It was only a baby… no it wasn’t even a baby yet.  

“Jieun?” his tone surprised me. Wooyoung sounded worried. “Please don’t cry…” instantly my hands went to my face, I am crying.

“So that’s why you hate her?”

He gave the saddest smile. “Yeah,” he paused looking down at our interlocked hands. “I had always told myself that even if somehow the two of us were to become friends again, that I can never, ever, forgive her.”

I nodded. It was understandable. My arms found their way around him.

“I’m sorry I made you relive that.” Tears still kept coming.

His arms went around me. “It’s fine, I actually feel… better now.”

Honestly, he did feel better, I could feel it.

It was like by keeping all of that to himself, it kept all the emotion bottled within him as well. All of it locked away for him, and only him, to face alone. But now he doesn’t have too.

By revealing his secret, he healed part of his past.

“Thank you Jieun, thank you for helping me heal my past.” He mumbled against my hair.

Smiling I replied. “You’re welcome.” I pulled back from, the smile still on my face.

Looking straight into his eyes, my smile became even bigger.

The hatred, the sadness, the pain, all of the negativity in his eyes, is nearly gone.

A smile replaced his crying face; Making me feel even better.

I just love seeing that smile on his face.

~~~

I feel like I rushed the whole thing. OTL. 

Well hope you enjoyed it.

[HAPPY LATE NEW YEARS~]

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