Chapter Thirty Three
Can I continue feeling this way?
The room was silent. Though I swear the others could hear my pounding heart that threatened to jump out of my throat. The heat that enveloped the square area rose, I was visibly paling at the sight before me, rage and love coursed through my veins, unable to determine which should take over first.
We all stared down at Tao as I finished the last compression.
After a few seconds of nothing I turned to XiuMin, ready to use my hands as a murder weapon. If I didn’t kill him, I hoped to high hell that guilt would. I shakily stood up, body almost convulsing with all of the emotions I was feeling.
It was then that I heard it.
I froze.
I traced my eyes down to the frame of the boy.
*GASP*
Tao’s torso flung up and he was soon doubling over, coughing uncontrollably and desperately trying to get the element that he was so malevolently deprived of. I dropped to my knees and he instantly latched onto me, gripping my arms with such force I thought they would snap, but I didn’t care. He tightened his grip around me and continued gasping, as it was the only thing he could do to try and get all the air he needed. I slipped my arms around his abused frame and held him as if it was the last time I would see him. I squeezed tighter, as hard as I could without restricting his ability to breathe. Once his breathing calmed and he seemed to have caught it, he erupted in sobs.
I spoke up. “LuHan, give us some time, and get that bastard out of here.” I made sure to lace that word with venom. LuHan obliged and soon left Tao and I to be alone.
I rubbed his back comfortingly without loosening my grip and tried to make out the words he was attempting to say. “ZiTao, don’t speak. Just relax.” I pushed him away the slightest bit so that I could get a look at his face, and put my forehead on his when I did. I forced myself to look him in the eyes, even though the sight of tears streaming from them, a full black eye and red handprint made me sick to my stomach.
“I will protect you. I will never let you go. I will watch over you. I will do everything in my power and more to make sure that you will never have to go through something like this again. I swear I will hold onto you and never let go. I am so sorry ZiTao. I am so ing sorry. I should have been there, should have gone with you and faced this with you. You mean so much to me. You have no idea. I thought you were dead… I wanted to go kill myself to be with you. You are everything to me, every ing thing. I-”
My heartfelt confessions were cut short as Tao leaned forward and trapped my lips in a searing kiss, every stinging tear of his falling as he shut his eyes to take in everything that my lips offered. Since his lungs had been deprived, he could not hold the kiss as long as he wanted, and soon pulled away to breathe. He returned to his previous hold upon me and I accepted and returned it fully, ready to leave only when he was.
A few sob-filled moments later I felt his shaking falter as his sobs came fewer and fewer. I rubbed his back slowly, cooing him and shooting compliments left and right to lighten his mood bit by bit. It was a few minutes later when the sobs stopped completely. I continued to trace designs over his back -as I knew he liked this anytime- and slowly focused on his breathing. Within a few seconds I matched mine with his and slowed my breathing, causing him to subconsciously do the same. I had no idea how long we had been in here, but I didn’t care. After a while I had nearly lulled him to sleep, so I decided that I would let him rest in my bed. My room was the only one in the house with a lock, and I would want to cease all intrusions while I was taking care of him. Adjusting my position slowly, so as to not startle him, I slid my arms under his knees and shoulder and stood up. I carried him bridal style to my room and pulled back the sheets before setting him down. His eyes were heavily lidded and it was hard to even tell if he was awake, but I sat on the sheets next to him and intertwined my fingers with his nonetheless. With my free hand I brushed away the hair on his forehead to give it a light kiss. I wanted to kiss every inch of him, to practically smother him with them but I couldn’t because of his injuries. It would hurt him even if I tried, so I retrained myself and just settled for his forehead. I tucked him in and stood up to leave before getting pulled down by something. I turned and saw Tao’s hand wrapped around my wrist.
The look in his eyes begged me not to leave. I wanted to do everything possible to stay with him the whole night, but I needed to leave for a few minutes to deal with the situation outside. I sat for a moment trying to think a way out of this and felt him squeeze my wrist which I translated as a ‘please’. With that, I knew what to do. I would just take care of this in the room. Sort of.
I bent to kiss his forehead once more. “I need to take care of something, but I’ll stay here.” The boy nodded with a smile in response and bid me forward.
I walked to the door, opened it, and stopped. “MINSEOK!!” I yelled down the hall. Within a few seconds he was standing in front of me shaking like a leaf.
“Get out.”
“W-what?!” He replied in shock.
“Get out. And don’t come back until you’ve realized what you’ve truly done and find a way to apologize for it.”
“I’m sor-”
“Not to me, to the innocent person you nearly ing killed tonight, thank you.”
“I-”
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever cussed so much in my life. But when it comes to you I just can’t ing help myself.”
“Bu-”
“Stay away from me and my boyfriend.” And with that I closed the door, not waiting for a reply. I didn’t slam it, for that wasn’t necessary, but talking to him any longer would take more time away from me being with Tao. I took off my shoes, changed into a thin tank top and boxers and lay next to Tao on the bed. He was resting on his side, his right side, so as not to put pressure on his wounded eye. I scooted in closer and kissed the tip of his nose.
Being this close to him, I noticed even more the damage that was done to him. I wanted to puke. Since the tissue had now had time to swell, the purple finger marks on his neck were bolder than before. They stuck out against his milky skin, completely contrasting each other. There was an outline of a hand on the left side of his face that hadn’t faded yet, and made his cheek puff up from the effect of the impact. And last, his eye which was now fully black plus being extra puffy from crying so much earlier.
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered breathlessly, my shaking voice hard to mask.
Tao brought his finger to my lips and gently shushed me. He gave me the most reassuring smile as if to say ‘shut the hell up and just kiss me’. Needless to say I couldn’t stop myself from capturing his lips once more before we drifted off to sleep.
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